Scared sleeping

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1. A blonde is speaking to her psychiatristA blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. «I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.» Psychiatrist: «Don’t you have a phone in your car?» Blonde: «That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.» Psychiatrist: ... Читать далее...
2. Значение идиомы let sleeping dogs lie[let sleeping dogs lie] Do not make angry and causetrouble or danger; do not make trouble if you do not have to. — Aproverb. Don’t tell Father that you broke the window. Let sleepingdogs lie....
3. Honeymooned!A young couple from the country honeymooned at a really fancy ocean-side resort. because they knew it would be expensive, they had planned to limit their stay to just the weekend, but were just unable to leave, enjoying themselves and each other so much, and extended their stay another day. Upon checking out, the desk ... Читать далее...
4. When Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money andWhen Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist. Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, «Life isn’t worth living. I think I’m gonna top myself.» «Don’t be stupid, Joe,» said the psychiatrist. «My wife ran ... Читать далее...
5. A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatristA very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, «Doctor, I’m so depressed and lonely. I don’t have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?» «I’m sure I can,» the psychiatrist replied. «Just ... Читать далее...
6. A psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimedA psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimed, «I heard you died.» «But you see I’m alive,» smiled the friend. «Impossible,» said the psychiatrist. «The man who told me is much more reliable than you.»...
7. Santas DiversionSantas Diversion Santa was delivering gifts as usual, when at one house a beautiful young woman was awaiting his arrival. She begged him to stay and cuddle with her on the couch. Santa declined, saying «Ho-ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents, you know.» Trying again, the lovely young thing removed her clothing down to ... Читать далее...
8. Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother?Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother? Sister: He thinks he’s a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has be been acting like a chicken? Sister: Three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs....
9. A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatristA Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist for an eating and sleeping disorder. «I am so obsessed with my mother… As soon as I go to sleep, I start dreaming, and everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up in such a state, all I can do is go downstairs and ... Читать далее...
10. A man goes to a psychiatristA man goes to a psychiatrist. To start things off, the psychiatrist suggests they start with a Rorschach Test. He holds up the first picture and asks the man what he sees. «A man and a woman making love in a park,» the man replies. The psychiatrist holds up the second picture and asks the ... Читать далее...
11. Sleeping on the jobThings To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk 15. «They told me at the blood bank this might happen.» 14. «This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.» 13. «Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper» ... Читать далее...
12. Being ScaredEmily: I’m not going into that house. It’s supposed to be Haunted. Stephen: Come on. Don’t be a Coward. You don’t believe in Ghosts, do you? Emily: I don’t, but I’m not Taking any chances. Just look at that house! It’s Spooky. I’m getting Goosebumps just looking at it. Stephen: You’re only Freaking out because ... Читать далее...
13. Going crazy with confusionA psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, «How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?» He got the following reply. «Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then ... Читать далее...
14. An accountant is having a hard time sleepingAn accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. «Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.» «Have you tried counting sheep?» «That’s the problem — I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.»...
15. Значение идиомы run scared[run scared] {v. phr.} To expect defeat, as in a politicalcampaign. The one-vote defeat caused him to run scared in everyrace thereafter....
16. Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fightSleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fight. «I am the most beautiful person in the world,» proclaimed Sleeping Beauty. «No, you’re not,» answered Don Juan and Tom Thumb. «I am the smallest person in the world,» shouted Tom Thumb. «No, you’re not,» said Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan. «I’ve had ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова crazyCrazy — ненормальный, сумасшедший Перевод слова To go crazy — сойти с ума she is crazy about him — она по нему с ума сходит a crazy idea — бредовая идея right-wing crazies — правые экстремисты crazy cat — псих I bought some Crazy good stuff there. Я купил там несколько безумно хороших вещей He ... Читать далее...
18. I often feel guiltySheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. «Doctor, you must help me,» she pleaded. «It’s gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a ... Читать далее...
19. I. R. S. phone callsThe following are actual phone calls made to I. R. S. offices across the United States. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
20. This pill allows you to flyA man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод слова hundredHundred — сто, сотня Перевод слова Hundreds of people — сотни людей to sell by the hundred — продавать сотнями to have hundreds in the bank — иметь сотни в банке to live to be a hundred — дожить до ста лет He gains a Hundred a year. Он зарабатывает сотню в год. I swim ... Читать далее...
22. On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the doorOn his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. «Would it be right,» he asked, «for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?» «Absolutely not!» replied the pastor. «In that case,» said the young man, «I wonder if you’d consider returning the hundred dollars I paid ... Читать далее...
23. Having Trouble SleepingLuis: So, how are the Newlyweds doing? Stevie: Oh, we’re great. I’m just a little tired. Luis: Well, that Goes with the territory, right? Stevie: No, that’s not what I mean. Patrick has been keeping me up with his Snoring. Luis: Oh, that’s a Bummer. Stevie: Yeah, it really is. I’m usually Awakened soon after ... Читать далее...
24. A man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrowA man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow $200 for six months. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says ‘I’ve got a Rolls Royce — keep it until the loan is paid off — here are the keys.’ Six months later the man comes ... Читать далее...
25. Weill and Mahoney had started with only five hundred dollarsWeill and Mahoney had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer business with sales in the millions. Their company employed over two hundred people, and the two executives lived like princes. Almost overnight, things changed. Sales dropped sharply, former customers disappeared, and the business failed. Weill and ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы borrow trouble[borrow trouble] {v. phr.} To worry for nothing about trouble that may not come; make trouble for yourself needlessly. Don’t borrow trouble by worrying about next year. It’s too far away. You are borrowing trouble if you try to tell John what to do. Compare: ASK FOR, CROSS ONE’S BRIDGES BEFORE ONE COMES TO THEM, ... Читать далее...
27. A helping handHarry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she’ll become a hooker. She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, «Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I’ll be parked around ... Читать далее...
28. Mr. Richman has 3daughtersMr. Richman has 3daughters. Their names are nobody, somebody and crazy. One day nobody and somebody are fighting over a fake eyebrow. Then crazy when to the policeman and she said»Nobody and Somebody are fighting» Then the policeman look at her then he said «What are you talking about?» Then she said again «Nobody and ... Читать далее...
29. Пословица / поговорка let sleeping dogs lie — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: let sleeping dogs lie Перевод: спящего пса не буди Эквивалент в русском языке: не буди лиха, пока лихо спит Пример: «You should let sleeping dogs lie and not ask your friend for the money that he owes you.» Не стоит будить спящего пса, и не нужно просить у своего друга денег, которые ... Читать далее...
30. Flying in the planeSue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, «No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.» The years ... Читать далее...
31. A tough case was being argued in courtA tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney, feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle of hundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied. «The judge’ll kill me. Trying to bribe him! We’re dead!» «I don’t think so,» his attorney told him. «I sent it in ... Читать далее...
32. Перевод слова troubleTrouble — беда, тревога, беспокойство; авария, помеха Перевод слова To be in deep trouble — оказаться в большой беде to get face to face with a trouble — столкнуться с неприятностью to operate trouble-free — работать без перебоев operating troubles — эксплуатационные неполадки I promise not to Trouble you again. Я обещаю не беспокоить вас ... Читать далее...
33. Being Generous and StingyBritney: I was thinking of Hitting up Jane for a little loan. You know her better than I do. What are the chances she’ll Spot me a couple hundred dollars until next month? Salvador: I think that’s a Pipe dream. I wouldn’t exactly call her a Cheapskate, but she’s not known for her Generosity. Britney: ... Читать далее...
34. An explorer goes into an undiscovered tombAn explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and started to rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and he said «I want to know the person you ... Читать далее...
35. Elderly romanceThere’s an elderly man and woman sitting in the sunroom of a retirement home. The old man says to the woman, «For five dollars, I’ll have sex with you on that rocking chair over there. For ten dollars, I’ll have sex with you on that couch. But for twenty dollars, I’ll take you to my ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод слова visitVisit — посещение, визит, поездка Перевод слова Courtesy visit — визит вежливости goodwill visit — визит доброй воли a brief visit to Ireland — кратковременная поездка в Ирландию I’ll Visit him if I have time. Я навещу его, если у меня будет время. Did you ever Visit Paris? Вы когда-нибудь бывали в Париже? Be sure ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы ask for the moon[ask for the moon] or [cry for the moon] {v. phr.} To want something that you cannot reach or have; try for the impossible. John asked his mother for a hundred dollars today. He’s always asking for the moon. Compare: PROMISE THE MOON....
38. IrkutskThis amazing city is located in the south-east of Russia and is a capital of East Siberia. Irkutsk is situated near the lake Baikal and a lot of tourists visit it every year. If you would like to stay in Irkutsk you can stay in The Angara Hotel or in The Gornyak Hotel. They are ... Читать далее...
39. Change my mindThe church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, «I give ten dollars.» Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. «I give a thousand dollars!» The minister said, «Lord, hit him again!»...
40. Insulting Other PeopleLourdes: Do you see those teenagers over there? They’re making trouble again. Nick: Those kids are just Messing around. When they get bored, they’ll Pipe down and go home. Lourdes: They’re really Getting on my nerves, playing loud music and making all that noise. They’re a Disgrace. Nick: Get away from that window before they ... Читать далее...