Quotes from stupid 03

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1. Quotes from stupid 01These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. «The effects are fleeting and lingering…» — Overheard in a hallway «In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted.» — CBS reporter during the solar eclipse «A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers he had run across.» — ... Читать далее...
2. Quotes from stupid 02These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. «That race was all about competition.» — David Coleman, ITV «And I can see the strong wind blowing the sun towards us.» — Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3 Mark Goodier: What’s the name of the company you work for? Listener: Mining and Engineering Services. Mark ... Читать далее...
3. Stupid sports quotesThese are actual sports quotes said by various people throughout the world. Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, «Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.» New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:»I want to ... Читать далее...
4. Food quotes and quipsFood quotes, quips, and thoughts. . . «Artichokes… are just plain annoying… After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual ‘food’ out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead.» — Miss Piggy «The most remarkable thing about my ... Читать далее...
5. Stupid people storiesIDIOTS & RETAIL I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова channelChannel — канал Перевод слова Channel for irrigation — ирригационный канал to capture a channel — занимать канал dung channel — навозная канава Change the Channel on the TV. Переключи канал телевизора. Two ships struck in the Channel. Два корабля столкнулись в канале. Water had Channelled grooves in the rock. Воды направляются углубления в скале. ... Читать далее...
7. Radio And TV In My LifeВ топике Радио и телевидение в моей жизни – я рассказываю, как я отношусь к самым быстрым средствам распространения новостей и информации. Из всех радиостанций я предпочитаю «Европу Плюс» и «Радио Максимум». По телевизору я смотрю новости, комедии, детективы и программы «6-го канала». Считаю, что уже невозможно представить нашу жизнь без радио и ТВ. I ... Читать далее...
8. Stupid people fearingWANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы tune in[tune in] To adjust a radio or television set to pick up a certainstation. Bob tuned in his portable radio to a record show. Tomtuned in to Channel 11 to hear the news....
10. Southerners are not that stupidA ventriloquist working down South, is confronted by a theater patron during his show. The hick stands up and yells, «HEY YOU! ON STAGE! You been making smart-ass remarks about us southerners being stupid all night long! We’re not all stupid ya know!» «Relax,» said the ventriloquist, «They’re just jokes!» «Shut up, buddy,» the hick ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова economyEconomy — экономика, хозяйство, экономия Перевод слова Political economy — политическая экономия national economy — народное хозяйство with a view to economy — с целью экономии The war altered the country’s Economy. Война изменила экономику страны. The Economy stabilized. Экономика стабилизировалась. The Economy is in a bad way. В экономике дела обстоят скверно....
12. True stupid stories 02Saddam Hussein’s stockpile is deadly. The smoke from his biological weapons could mix with sulfur from his chemical weapons and create an atmospheric condition known as Los Angeles. The Los Angeles Board of Education has OK’d a plan to equip school police cars with guns. The plan works on a tier system: Police at elementary ... Читать далее...
13. Ronald Reagan’s 10 best quotesSome people might look at all the President Reagan hoopla and say, «There you go again.» But who can resist putting together the ten best things Ronald Reagan ever said. Are these really the ten best quotes? «Trust, but verify» them yourself. The selection may be slightly subjective, but the ranking is based on hard ... Читать далее...
14. Jokes about the Stupid IrishA man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he’s in need of petrol, the man decides to stop. He says to the attendant at the station, «Fill it up, will you?». The man says «Sorry — we’re right out of petrol.» So the man considers, and ... Читать далее...
15. Marriage quotes 12Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. — W. Somerset Maugham Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they’re entitled ... Читать далее...
16. Evaluating employeesRE: Quotes Taken from actual performance evaluations: «Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.» «His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.» «I would not allow this employee to breed.» «This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of ... Читать далее...
17. Books and TV in my life — Книги и телевидение в моей жизниTV is very important thing in our life. We can say that TV is our eyes because TV helps us to know more about the world, about the others counties, about the events that happened in the world. TV even helps you to know more about yourself. I like to watch TV very much. I ... Читать далее...
18. Marriage quotes 08Many a wife thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give. — Cass Daley Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties ... Читать далее...
19. Marriage quotes 10Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. May you grow so rich your widow’s second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish ... Читать далее...
20. It was during a ball at Andrew Jackson country homeIt was during a ball at Andrew Jackson’s country home that the family physician approached Mrs. Jackson to say, «You’re looking wonderful tonite, Rachel! What keeps you so radiant and effervescent?» «Having such a popular husband, of course.» «Surely there must be more to it than that, madam.» «Well, there’s Old Hickory’s dickery, doc.»...
21. Marriage quotes 03There was a man who said, «I never knew what happiness was until I got married… and then it was too late!» Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. When a ... Читать далее...
22. True stupid stories 01Really Stupid People Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head. A company trying to ... Читать далее...
23. Stupid people awards 01The Darwin Awards The long awaited 1999 Darwin «Natural Selection» Awards have been released! These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool. Ladies And Gentlemen… (drum roll… and envelope please)… We proudly ... Читать далее...
24. Better prison foodsSubject: You Deserve a Break Today San Francisco (UPI) — In what legal observers are already calling a landmark decision in the case of Jackson v. California, the California Supreme Court has recognized for the first time a constitutional right to chicken done right. The high court held that under the the due process clause ... Читать далее...
25. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «They didn’t make it»Glenda Гленда A lot of fishermen have been lost at sea in this latest disaster. Во время последнего бедствия пропало много рыбаков. Peregrine Перегрин I know. We’ll probably never know how many. Я знаю. Наверное, мы никогда не узнаем, сколько именно. Glenda Гленда But there’ve been one or two stories of a few who have ... Читать далее...
26. Перевод слова radioRadio — радио, радиовещание Перевод слова Broadcasting radio station — широковещательная радиостанция radio commentator — радиокомментатор radio frequency — частота радиоволн aeronautical radio station — авиационная радиостанция Turn the Radio down. Сделайте радио потише. The news was sent by Radio. Новости были переданы по радио. Is the Radio on? Радио работает?...
27. Перевод слова actualActual — фактический, реальный Перевод слова Actual data — фактические данные, реальные данные actual immunity — реальный, фактически действующий иммунитет actual intent — действительное намерение I’m not joking. Those were his Actual words. Я не шучу. Таковы были его слова. The Actual turnout was over one million a year. Реальный объем выпускаемой продукции составил больше ... Читать далее...
28. Топик «День матери в Англии» (Mother’s Day in England)Словарь Possible [ˈpɒsɪb(ə)l] — возможный; To thank [θæŋk] — благодарить; Everywhere [ˈevrɪ veri] — везде, повсюду; Try to be — стараться. To honor [ˈɒnə(r)] — чествовать; Almost [ˈɔːlməʊst] — почти; America and England celebrate an wonderful holiday. It is Mother`s Day. There is almost the same holiday on the 8th March in Russia. Mother`s Day ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы take charge[take charge] {v. phr.} To begin to lead or control; take controlor responsibility; undertake the care or management. When Mrs. Jackson was in the hospital, her sister tookcharge of the Jackson children until Mrs. Jackson could care forthem. The child care class gave a party for the nursery children, and Mary took charge of the ... Читать далее...
30. Tour near glaciersThe following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions. Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking ... Читать далее...
31. A stupid dogWhile leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member of the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi, horrified, asked the Cantor to continue the service and went to talk to Bernie. Rabbi: «What are doing here with a dog?» Bernie: «The dog came here to pray.» «Oh, come ... Читать далее...
32. Talking on a planeThe following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual event that took place during a flight. As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. «Coming up on the right, you can ... Читать далее...
33. Truly stupid people 02Top honors for «Human Projectile of the Month» go to an as-of-yet unidentified dude who is also a serious contender for the annual «Darwin Award». That prestigious prize is given posthumously to the person who does the human gene pool the greatest service by removing himself from it in the most extraordinarily stupid fashion. Troopers ... Читать далее...
34. Very stupid musicianAugust, 1998, Montevideo, Uruguay Paolo Esperanza, bass-trombonist with the Simphonica Mayor de Uruguay, in a misplaced moment of inspiration decided to make his own contribution to the cannon shots fired as part of the orchestra’s performance of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture at an outdoor children’s concert. In complete seriousness he placed a large, ignited firecracker, which ... Читать далее...
35. Truly stupid people 01A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30,000+, and has $400.00+ in monthly payments. He’s pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to ... Читать далее...
36. The stupid questionsThe below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records. Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning? Q: What happened then? A: He told me, ... Читать далее...
37. Humor about the Stupid IrishHiggins lived in Staten Island, New York, and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, So Higgins decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. When ... Читать далее...
38. Stupid people stories 02Stupid people DEADHEADS A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be counted. The judged ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify. THIS WOULD BE ME The judge called the ... Читать далее...
39. Stupid people awardsIt is once again time to vote for-the Darwin Award nominees for 1997. As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for those nominees who will not be contributing to the gene pool (thankfully). The 1997 nominees are: NOMINEE No.1: [San Jose Mervcury News] An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to ... Читать далее...
40. Stupid people awards 02The 2000 Darwin awards! (15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old soldier died of injuries sustained from a 3-story fall, precipitated by his attempt to spit farther than his buddy. His plan was to hurl himself towards a metal guardrail while expectorating, in order to add momentum to his saliva. In a tragic miscalculation, his momentum ... Читать далее...