Proper Behavior at a Formal Event
Rodney: Ha-ha! Did you hear what I said? Funny, right?
Samantha: Behave yourself! This is a serious and Solemn occasion, not a time for Levity.
Rodney: Loosen up. We have To endure two hours of this ceremony.
Samantha: It’s Indecent the way you’re behaving. Don’t you have any sense of Decorum?
Rodney: Lighten up. You’re such a Stick-in-the-mud. There’s nothing Unseemly about Cracking a few jokes when everybody here is Taking themselves too seriously.
Samantha: Your problem is that you have no sense of Dignity. Don’t you realize that your stupid jokes Cheapen the occasion? You’re a Disgrace.
Rodney: Don’t get all Huffy. All right, if you won’t join in, I’ll try to be serious.
Samantha: That’s better.
Rodney: I would Seriously like a drink. Bartender!
Samantha: [Groans]
(1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)Related topics:
- A guy in a bar The bartender asks him “What’ll you have?”. The guy answers, “A scotch, please”. The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars”, to which he replies “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this”. A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, “You […]...
- I don’t owe anything for this drink The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?” The guy answers, “A scotch, please.” The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars,” to which the guy replies, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.” A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, […]...
- You can’t bring that dog in this bar A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.” “Oh man, ” the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on […]...
- The story of a very short man A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots.” Bartender says, “You want them both now or one at a time?” The guy says,” Oh, I want them both now. One’s for me and one’s for this little guy here,” and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his […]...
- Buying a Used Car Samantha: Hello. Terry: Hey, Samantha. It’s Terry. Samantha: Oh, hi Terry. How’s it going? Terry: Not bad. Hey, the reason I’m calling is that I heard from Veronica that you’re looking for a Used car. Samantha: Yeah, I’m hoping to find something Reliable but cheap. Terry: Well, I have Just the thing for you. My […]...
- Working on the road A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then […]...
- Free drinks for everyone One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: “Drinks for all on me including you, bartender.” So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: “That will be $36.50 please.” The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out. The next […]...
- The wife is not speaking to me One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried. “What’s the matter?” the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight,” explained the guy “and now she isn’t talking to me for a […]...
- Drunk orders himself a beer A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink – he could […]...
- He is a very fast drinker A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be buddy?” The man says, “Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and […]...
- Buying a Used Car Samantha: Hello. Terry: Hey, Samantha. It’s Terry. Samantha: Oh, hi Terry. How’s it going? Terry: Not bad. Hey, the reason I’m calling is that I heard from Veronica that you’re looking for a Used car. Samantha: Yeah, I’m hoping to find something Reliable but cheap. Terry: Well, I have Just the thing for you. My […]...
- A man is waiting for his wife to give birth A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, […]...
- Dressing Appropriately for an Event Patricia: Hey, look at you! You’re all Decked out. What’s the occasion? Renaud: I’m going to the Ortegas’s party. Aren’t you? Patricia: Yeah, but I’m not getting all Dolled up for it. I think the Dress is Casual. Renaud: I heard that it’s going to be an Upscale affair and I don’t want to be […]...
- Serving on a Jury Samantha: How was your first day on a Jury? Jinho: It was okay. The Judge swore us in and then we listened to the beginning of the Prosecutor’s case. Two Witnesses testified. Samantha: That sounds exciting! I’d love to be on a jury. Why didn’t they Sequester you? That’s what they do on TV. Jinho: […]...
- Plagiarizing a Paper Paul: All done. Samantha: You’re done with your Paper? How can that be? I’m just getting started. Paul: I’m just a better student than you are. Samantha: Let me see that. You didn’t write this. Paul: No, I didn’t. I downloaded somebody’s paper from some website and Slapped my name on it. The professor will […]...
- I bet I can bite both of my eyes A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip. The guy says, “I’ll bet you my tab double or nothing that I can bite my eye.” The bartender accepts the bet, and the guy pulls out his glass […]...
- Dealing with Unhappy Employees Asa: I don’t know how we Got stuck with reviewing employee Complaints. This has got to be the worst job ever! Samantha: This is important work and somebody has to do it. Come on, let’s get started. Asa: I think it’s bad for Morale to allow employees to file complaints. We’re all Overworked and Underpaid, […]...
- Buying Meat from a Butcher Butcher: Good morning. What can I get for you? Samantha: I’d like some Lamb chops, Pork chops, and some Beef, but I’m not sure which Cuts I want yet. Butcher: You’ve come to the right Butcher shop. Everything here is Fresh. Everything comes straight from the Slaughterhouse. Samantha: Um, I’m glad to hear that. Butcher: […]...
- 5 drinks A well dressed gentlemen enters the bar of a five star restaurant, sits at the bar and orders four very expensive drinks. The bartender serves them on a silver tray, setting all four in front of the patron. The man then consumes all four drinks in a matter of seconds. The bartender comments, “Wow, you […]...
- A man walks into a bar and orders two drinks A man walks into a bar and orders two drinks. As the bartender watches he drinks one drink and pours the other one on his hand. He orders two more drinks and does the same thing. The third time the bartender asks him what’s going on. “Why are you pouring that drink on your hand”? […]...
- A bartender was getting ready to close for the night A bartender was getting ready to close for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to the bartender, “This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!” The scared bartender pleads, “Don’t shoot, please! I’ll do as you say!” The robber yells, “Shut […]...
- Traveling by Bus Samantha: Good morning. I had a few questions about buying a bus ticket. Do I need to buy one In advance? Agent: You can, but it’s not necessary. You just need to arrive at the Terminal at least an hour before the scheduled departure time to buy your ticket. Boarding begins about 15 to 30 […]...
- Traveling for Singles Ray: I have a great idea for your next vacation. You should go on a Singles cruise. Samantha: I’m not going on a singles cruise. Everybody will be On the make. Ray: That’s the point, isn’t it? You can Take your pick of single guys. What could be better? Samantha: I’m not interested in having […]...
- I trust you that you paid A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is donem the bartender tells him he owes $9.00. “But I paid, don’t you remember?” says the customer. “Okay,” says the bartender, “If you said you paid, you did.” The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees […]...
- A man walked into the bar and there was a gorilla A man walked into the bar and there was a gorilla sitting on a barstool. The man asked the bartender what the gorilla was doing in the bar so the bartender showed him. He took out a bat and hit the gorilla over the head with it. The animal instantly dropped down and gave the […]...
- The bachelor’s diet Bachelor’s Diet MONDAY: BREAKFAST – Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and […]...
- The Bachelor Diet Monday Breakfast – Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth Lunch – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” – those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chilli, a soft drink and have […]...
- Formal Emails Dear Dr. Lee: I don’t know if you’ll remember me, but I introduced myself to you after your Keynote at last week’s Conference. As I mentioned to you, I have read all of your journal papers and I am a great admirer of your Research. Your article in the Top journal Language Learning was groundbreaking. […]...
- Giving Bribes to Children for Good Behavior Camille: No, you can’t have a new bike if you get an “A” on the test. You should study because you want to do well in school. We’ll talk about it when I get home tonight. Kids! Aaron: What’s the matter? Camille: My kids won’t do anything without an Incentive. I know it’s my own […]...
- Business Insurance Carson: What happened here?! Samantha: As you can see, there was an accident. Early this morning, a man driving along this street Lost control of his car and ran into the front window of our store. Luckily, no one was hurt. Carson: What are we going to do? We can’t open for business with this […]...
- Clinton country A guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV go’s on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells, “There’s a horses ass” A guy gets up and punches him.. And the man left.. Then when Hilary Clinton came on he said […]...
- The Comedy Club On Friday night, I went with a group of friends from work to a comedy club. I don’t really like Sketch comedy, but I do like Stand-up, and the comedian who was going to perform there was one of my favorites. There were six of us and we were a pretty Rowdy group. We stood […]...
- Правильное питание/ Proper Nutrition На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Proper Nutrition Правильное питание Several thousand years ago to be chubby was fashionable, it was a sign of richness and prosperity. Not so long ago the situation changed fundamentally, in our days to be stout means not to take care of oneself, to be unfit. To be healthy […]...
- Serving Drinks and Cocktails Spencer: I’m practicing making drinks for the party tonight. Do you want to try one? Heidi: You’re the Bartender? I didn’t know you knew how To mix drinks. Spencer: I can Hold my own. Okay, Name it and I’ll make it – any Mixed drink or Cocktail. Heidi: Okay, I’ll have a Screwdriver. Spencer: A […]...
- Значение идиомы nurse a drink [nurse a drink] {v. phr.}, {informal} To hold a drink in one’s handat a party, pretending to be drinking it or taking extremely smallsips only. John’s been nursing that drink all evening....
- A man is driving down the road for a long period of time A man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,”Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. […]...
- Looking to buy a frog A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?” The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. […]...
- Jewish fly A man goes into a bar and sits down to have a drink….he notices that at the other end of the bar is the most attractive woman he has ever seen….he is immediately lust-struck and decides that he must have her….He leans over to the bartender and asks if the bartender has any Spanish-fly in […]...
- Jokes of science 03 Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side. Why did the chicken cross the road? Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads. A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender […]...
- Some very common traits in two drunks A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s […]...