Police officer Christmas

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1. The Christmas diet song‘Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there. While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps had just settled down to sugar-borne naps. ... Читать далее...
2. Short Christmas jokesWhat did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve! How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day? Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve! What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month? The letter «D» ! What does Father Christmas suffer from if he ... Читать далее...
3. An Internet ChristmasT’was the Internet Night Before Christmas ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net, There were hacker’s a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet. The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens, While visions of ... Читать далее...
4. Short Father ChristmasWhat do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? Santa Clues! Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck! What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow! What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? ... Читать далее...
5. An Australian ChristmasHere comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, Sweating his fat away Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, Water-skis on his sleigh Never have a white Christmas When you in Melbourne live Wearing hot pants on the beach When you your presents give Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, Sweating his ... Читать далее...
6. A wish for ChristmasIt is around christmas time and santa is sitting in the middle of the mall in his big holiday setup. He has a line of kids lined up to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for christmas. As the line dwindles down; a little 5 year old boy comes up and ... Читать далее...
7. Christmas tree betterReasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman» A Christmas tree doesn’t care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you have an artificial one in the closet. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb ... Читать далее...
8. ‘Twas the Night After Christmas‘Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy. The kids they weren’t talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had ... Читать далее...
9. Represent ChristmasThree men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he ... Читать далее...
10. Military Christmas‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies, Air defenses were up, with electronic eyes. Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds, As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads. Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube, Was triply-redundant, linked to the Blue Cube, And ELINT and AWACS gave coverage so ... Читать далее...
11. Christmas, Hanukkah, and KwanzaaThe holidays in my family are very Diverse. Our Custom is to celebrate Christmas every year as a Religious observance, complete with Advent wreathes and Midnight Mass. Most of my In-laws observe Christmas Purely as a Secular holiday, with the focus on Exchanging gifts, stockings, A Christmas tree, and other traditional customs. There is a ... Читать далее...
12. On Christmas morning a cop on horsebackOn Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, «Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?» The kid says, «Yeah.» The cop says, «Well, next year tell Santa to ... Читать далее...
13. One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy barOne night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the — influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat ... Читать далее...
14. Microsoft ChristmasNORTH POLE (API) — MICROSOFT announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via satellite from Santa’s summer estate somewhere in the southern hemisphere. In the deal, Microsoft would gain exclusive rights to Christmas, Reindeer, and other unspecified inventions. In addition, Microsoft will gain access to millions of ... Читать далее...
15. Значение идиомы Father Christmas[Father Christmas] {n.}, {British} The joyful spirit of Christmas;Santa Claus. English children look forward to the visit of FatherChristmas....
16. Santa vs. system adminsThe similarities between Santa and System Admins 1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny. 2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal. 3. Santa seldom answers your mail. 4. When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he’s got, he says, «Elves make it ... Читать далее...
17. A police officer came upon a terrible wreckA police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said «I wish you could talk.» The monkey looked up at ... Читать далее...
18. A rookie police officer was assignedA rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, «Let’s ... Читать далее...
19. Without a Christmas bonusTen signs you’re not getting a christmas bonus 10. Co-workers refer to you as «the ghost of unemployment future» 9. The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial 8. On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips 7. What you call «my new ... Читать далее...
20. Christmas and Hanukkah MergerContinuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works about 1300 years. While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having ... Читать далее...
21. Holiday DecoratingNow that the holidays are here, it’s time To decorate the house. Every year, we always Go all out. We buy a Christmas tree and the kids decorate it with Ornaments that we’ve bought and made over the years, and with silver and gold Tinsel. We also hang a Wreath on our front door and ... Читать далее...
22. Barbie and G. I. JoeA little girl is in line to see Santa. When it’s her turn, she climbs up on Santa’s lap. Santa asks, «What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?» The little girl replies, «I want a Barbie and G. I. Joe.» Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, «I ... Читать далее...
23. Перевод слова ChristmasChristmas — Рождество Перевод слова Merry Christmas! — счастливого рождества! Christmas tree — рождественская елка on Christmas Day — в день Рождества Christmas is drawing near. Рождество приближается. We’ll see you at Christmas. Увидимся на Рождество. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Мы желаем вам Счастливого Рождества....
24. Rating Christmas partiesIf you threw a party, the worst thing you could have done was throw the kind of party where your guests, the next day, call you up to say they had a nice time. Now you’ll be expected to throw another great party next year. What you should have done was throw the kind of ... Читать далее...
25. Chris Columbus Directed Home Alone Instead of Christmas Vacation Because He Met Chevy ChaseJames Hughes, son of the legendary writer and director John Hughes, put together an oral history of Home Alone for Chicago magazine. In it, he reveals how the film ultimately found its director, Chris Columbus. After directing the 1988 flop Heartbreak Hotel, Columbus was worried about finding a new directing gig. Which is part of ... Читать далее...
26. The Night Before Christmas, Legally SpeakingThe Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking: Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter «the House») a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to, a mouse. A variety of foot apparel, e. g. stocking, socks, etc., ... Читать далее...
27. They are stopped by the policeJohn & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, «I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away.» Just ... Читать далее...
28. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «Между полицейским и гражданином (Between Police Officer And Citizen)»По-английски Перевод на русский I I Police officer: Good afternoon, sir. Is this your car? Полицейский: Добрый день, сэр. Это ваша машина? Citizen: Hello. Yes, it is. Is there a problem? Гражданин: Здравствуйте, да моя. А что какие-то проблемы? Police officer: Not really. However, we are looking for the car similar to yours, which has ... Читать далее...
29. Christmas — Рождество (1)Christmas is Christian holiday that celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ. For millions of Christians throughout the world it is the happiest and the busiest time of the year. No one knows the exact date of Christ’s birth but most Christians celebrate Christmas on December 25. The word Christmas comes from Christes masse, an early ... Читать далее...
30. The last day working«You Know It’s Your Last Day At Work When……» You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, «What’s this?», you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, «I waited on the last fat ugly old ... Читать далее...
31. Dealing with troubleA deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The «disturbance» turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What’s more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too. Said the policeman, «I’ll bet that you’re also an escape artist-probably better than ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы Christmas club[Christmas club] {n.} A plan for putting money in the bank to be saved for Christmas shopping. John deposits $10 each week in the Christmas club. The woman will get her Christmas club money on December 10....
33. Christmas in Great Britain — Рождество в Великобритании (2)Christmas Day, December 25, is probably the most popular holiday in Great Britain. It is a family holiday. Traditionally all relatives and friends give each other presents. So, before Christmas all the department stores and shops are crowded, everybody is choosing a present. In general, people get prepared for this holiday very carefully. They decorate ... Читать далее...
34. «Рождество в Великобритании и Америке» (Christmas in Britain and America)Christmas is a favourite time of the year for many Christian people. It is celebrated by many cultures and religions. This is the holiday when families come together and celebrate the birth of Jesus, love, peace and kindness. Catholic Christmas is celebrated in Europe, Australia and America on the 25th of December. However all preparations ... Читать далее...
35. Christmas flavorThree men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family’s Christmas ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод слова vacationVacation — отпуск, каникулы, освобождение Перевод слова Christmas vacation — рождественские каникулы vacation of a position — уход с поста; отставка to take a vacation — брать отпуск, уходить в очередной отпуск She was away on Vacation. Она уехала в отпуск. Did you have a good Vacation? Хорошо ли вы провели отпуск? I got a ... Читать далее...
37. Days after ChristmasThe first day after Christmas My true love and I had a fight And so I chopped the pear tree down And burnt it, just for spite Then with a single cartridge I shot that blasted partridge My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me. The second day after Christmas I ... Читать далее...
38. Backward SantaAs a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, «And what would you like for Christmas?» The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: «Didn’t you get my E-mail?»...
39. Entering Pearly GatesThree men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he ... Читать далее...
40. Рождество в США/ Christmas in the USAРождество в США Christmas in the USA В каждой стране свои традиции и обычаи празднования Рождества. В англо-говорящих странах Рождество празднуется 25 декабря. Этому дню предшествуют длительные приготовления: каждое здание на улице оформляется в сказочном стиле, покупаются открытки и подарки для членов семьи и друзей, на центральных площадях городов возводят вечнозеленые ели, повсюду слышны рождественские ... Читать далее...