Osama Cave Memo

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1. Перевод слова cave Cave – пещера, погреб Перевод слова To cave in rock – обрушивать породу a cave dweller – обитатель пещеры blister cave – лавовая пещера Water flowed into the Cave. Вода хлынула в пещеру. The roof of the Cave was very high. Потолок пещеры был очень высоким. Deeper in the Cave, darkness enfolds us. В глубине […]...
2. Значение идиомы cave in [cave in] {v.} 1. To fall or collapse inward. The mine caved in and crushed three miners. Don’t climb on that old roof. It might cave in. 2. {informal} To weaken and be forced to give up. The children begged their father to take them to the circus until he caved in. After the atomic […]...
3. Making Verbal Mistakes Omar: Ha ha. Faith: What’s so funny? Omar: I’m editing Paul’s speech so that it can be posted on our website, but I didn’t realize how many Verbal mistakes he made. Faith: Were there a lot? Omar: Yeah, he Mispronounced the last name of the manager in charge of new products, for one. He also […]...
4. Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. “Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” she asks, “will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?” Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says “No, I don’t think […]...
5. An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (french fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water. Time and again, Abdul would […]...
6. Commuting by Train Lisa: Can you tell me if this is the right Platform for the Train to Arlington? Omar: Yes, it is. Is this your first time taking the train? Lisa: Is it that Obvious? Omar: No, you just look a little lost. Lisa: I’m starting a new job and I have To commute to work for […]...
7. Judging a Contest Adelia: When I created this writing Contest, I had no idea that we would get so many Entries. Omar: Good thing you have an Impartial panel of judges to help you select the winner. Adelia: Yes, good thing. I’m really grateful to all of you for giving up your time to help. Omar: What Criteria […]...
8. Indians and Polish There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking along together in the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. He stopped and hollered into the cave… “Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” and then listened very closely until he heard the […]...
9. Problems with Drugs and Medical Devices Suzanne: Don’t take that! I’m reading an article in the newspaper about all of the Drugs and Medical devices that have been Recalled in the past year and you wouldn’t believe how long this list is. Abdul: I’m just taking something for my headache. I’m sure this Medicine is fine. Suzanne: Don’t be so sure. […]...
10. The Cesium song 09 It’s So Easy (Tune, It’s so Easy) It’s with Cesium I’m in love! It’s with Cesium I’m in love! People say that I’m a fool, When I take my Cesium into the pool. And it’s so easy, So doggone easy, Yes it’s so easy, Where my love’s concerned, To get myself burned. But it’s with […]...
11. IBM Memo about Peripheral Replacement IBM Memo about Peripheral Replacement This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest of us may find it rather funny. Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) Mouse balls are now available as FRU. […]...
12. The Story of the Bats Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, “Let’s fly out of the cave and get some blood.” “We’re new here,” says the second one. “It’s dark out, and we don’t know where to look. We’d better wait until the other bats go with us.” The first […]...
13. Перевод слова fourth Fourth – четвертый, четверть Перевод слова In the fourth form – в четвертом классе three fourths – три четверти fourth power – четвертая степень She drank a Fourth of the bottle. Она выпила четверть бутылки. I was going well and was lying Fourth. Я неплохо шел и был на четвертом месте. A guerrilla war has […]...
14. Перевод слова food Food – еда, пища Перевод слова Food and clothing – пища и одежда preserved food – консервированные продукты exotic food – экзотическая пища I love French Food. Я люблю французскую кухню. Food sustains life. Пища поддерживает жизненные силы. The Food was yucky. Еда была противной....
15. Значение идиомы as far as that goes [as far as that goes] or [as far as that is concerned] or [so far as that is concerned] also [so far as that goes] {adv. phr.} While we are talking about it; also; actually. You don’t have to worry about the girls. Mary can take care of herself, and as far as that goes, […]...
16. Ancients rule! A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance. 1. A dog 2. A donkey 3. A shovel 4. A fish 5. A Star of David They decided that this was a unique find and […]...
17. A serious condition A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth for poker,” said […]...
18. US Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school US Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school. After fifteen minutes speaking he says: ‘I will now answer any questions you have.’ Bobby stands up and says: ‘I have four questions’: 1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore? 2. Why haven’t you caught Osama bin Laden? 3. Why […]...
19. Eating at a Casual Restaurant Russell: Why aren’t you eating? Is there Something the matter with your food? Nadia: No, the food is fine. Russell: What’s wrong? Nadia: I’m not sure How to put this. I really like going to Diners and Hole in the walls with you, and I love Mom and pop restaurants as much as you do. […]...
20. This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, “Where are you going?” He said, “I’m going to the doctor.” And she said, “Why? Are you sick?” “No,” he said. “I’m going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.” So his wife got up out […]...
21. Фразовый глагол get up (2) – перевод и значение, пример использования Фразовый глагол: get up (2) Перевод: разбудить, поднять Пример: Ahmed got Abdul up at 5:30 in the morning by turning the music up really loud. Ахмед разбудил Абдулу в 5.30 утра, очень громко включив музыку....
22. Negotiating a Business Deal Gia: Why are the Negotiations on this Deal taking so long? I thought we would be Putting the finishing touches on it by now. Logan: The other side is Holding out for more Concessions. I don’t know what they’re thinking. They made some pretty big Demands at the start and I think we’ve Given in […]...
23. Значение идиомы as far as [as far as] or [so far as] {adv. phr.} 1. To the degree or amount that; according to what, how much, or how far. John did a good job as far as he went, but he did not finish it. So far as the weather is concerned, I do not think it matters. As far […]...
24. Love to Death A man goes to his doctor for his annual physical complaining of all kinds of mysterious ailments – lack of sleep, no drive, very little appetite, nervous, etc. After a complete exam, the doctor can find nothing physically wrong and suspects the man is suffering from depression. The two had been friends for many years, […]...
25. Jill, a love-starved spinster, was so desperate Jill, a love-starved spinster, was so desperate that she went to a local newspaper office and inquired about putting an advertisement in the ‘Lonely Hearts’ column. “Well, madam,” the assistant said, “we charge a minimum of $1 per insertion.” “You don’t say,” said the spinster “Well then, here’s $20 and to hell with the advertisement!”...
26. Strict school It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she’d take no nonsense from the kiddies this year. While taking the roll, she was told by one boy “My name is Johnny Fuckhauer”. So she said “There’ll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny; […]...
27. After putting her children to bed, a mother After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed […]...
28. Briton Is Kin of Stone Age ‘Cheddar Man’ LONDON – After he was killed by a blow to the face about 9,000 years ago, the 23-year-old hunter was laid to rest in a limestone cave in what is now southwestern England. Now, say scientists astonishingly bridging 90 centuries and 300 generations, they have found a direct descendant of the Stone Age man. He […]...
29. The same thing A married man goes to confessional and he tells the priest, “I had an affair with a woman… almost.” The priest says, “what do you mean almost?” The man says, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together but then I stopped.” The priest replies, “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not […]...
30. A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, “Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.” “Well,” the doctor replied, “go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say […]...
31. The Insensitive Gorilla A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishes her […]...
32. What to do to get golf Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued: First Guy: “Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second Guy: […]...
33. Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern. To Mike Callahan, the barkeep, Shandy said “Mike, I’ll be havin’ three whiskeys.” Callahan set up three glasses and began to pour. “Now, Timothy, it’s not the usual thing for you to ask for three whiskeys. It’s celebratin’, you are. “Ahh, ye know me […]...
34. Four married guys go golfing Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place: First Guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second Guy: “That’s nothing, […]...
35. One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl which he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked him why is he putting one on. She said “you don’t have to worry about getting me pregnant because you are too […]...
36. Значение идиомы fourth world [fourth world] {n.}, {informal} The poor nations of the world, asdistinguished from the oil-rich nations of the third world. SriLanka will never join OPEC, since it is a fourth world nation....
37. Love Love is the best feeling in the world. Love makes the world go round. It is the greatest mystery of all times. If you ask someone “What is love?”, he or she will hardly find enough words to express its meaning. Love can be different. There is love for parents, love for children, love for […]...
38. Extreme Sports Celeste: I’m so glad it’s Friday. Are you doing anything this weekend? Ryan: I’m going Snowboarding with James. Celeste: Didn’t you guys go Bungee jumping last weekend? Ryan: Yeah, and we plan to go Cave diving in a couple of weeks. Celeste: I didn’t know you were into Extreme sports. I guess it’s a big […]...
39. Feeling Ill from Food While Traveling Rumi: I’m as Sick as a dog! Hugo: It serves you right. I Warned you not to eat food sold by Food vendors on the street. Cleanliness is not a priority at some of those food Stands. Rumi: I’m not one To turn up my nose up at street food. On the street is where […]...
40. Adding Condiments to Food Orlando: Hand me that Worcestershire sauce. Janine: Here. You’re not putting that on your Burger, are you? Orlando: No, I’m using it for my Hot dog. Janine: Wait. You’ve put Ketchup, Mustard, Mayonnaise, and Barbecue sauce on your burger, and now you’re going to put Worcestershire sauce on your hot dog? Orlando: Sure, you’ve got […]...