Osama Cave Memo

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1. Перевод слова caveCave — пещера, погреб Перевод слова To cave in rock — обрушивать породу a cave dweller — обитатель пещеры blister cave — лавовая пещера Water flowed into the Cave. Вода хлынула в пещеру. The roof of the Cave was very high. Потолок пещеры был очень высоким. Deeper in the Cave, darkness enfolds us. В глубине ... Читать далее...
2. Значение идиомы cave in[cave in] {v.} 1. To fall or collapse inward. The mine caved in and crushed three miners. Don’t climb on that old roof. It might cave in. 2. {informal} To weaken and be forced to give up. The children begged their father to take them to the circus until he caved in. After the atomic ... Читать далее...
3. Making Verbal MistakesOmar: Ha ha. Faith: What’s so funny? Omar: I’m editing Paul’s speech so that it can be posted on our website, but I didn’t realize how many Verbal mistakes he made. Faith: Were there a lot? Omar: Yeah, he Mispronounced the last name of the manager in charge of new products, for one. He also ... Читать далее...
4. Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tellsLittle Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. «Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,» she asks, «will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?» Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says «No, I don’t think ... Читать далее...
5. IBM Memo about Peripheral ReplacementIBM Memo about Peripheral Replacement This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest of us may find it rather funny. Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) Mouse balls are now available as FRU. ... Читать далее...
6. Commuting by TrainLisa: Can you tell me if this is the right Platform for the Train to Arlington? Omar: Yes, it is. Is this your first time taking the train? Lisa: Is it that Obvious? Omar: No, you just look a little lost. Lisa: I’m starting a new job and I have To commute to work for ... Читать далее...
7. Judging a ContestAdelia: When I created this writing Contest, I had no idea that we would get so many Entries. Omar: Good thing you have an Impartial panel of judges to help you select the winner. Adelia: Yes, good thing. I’m really grateful to all of you for giving up your time to help. Omar: What Criteria ... Читать далее...
8. Indians and PolishThere were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking along together in the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. He stopped and hollered into the cave… «Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!» and then listened very closely until he heard the ... Читать далее...
9. Changed HR policiesCasual Fridays: Week 1 — Memo No. 1 Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their choice. Week 3 — Memo No. 2 Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles ... Читать далее...
10. Doctor and engineerA pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. [dramatic ... Читать далее...
11. The Cesium song 09It’s So Easy (Tune, It’s so Easy) It’s with Cesium I’m in love! It’s with Cesium I’m in love! People say that I’m a fool, When I take my Cesium into the pool. And it’s so easy, So doggone easy, Yes it’s so easy, Where my love’s concerned, To get myself burned. But it’s with ... Читать далее...
12. The Story of the BatsTwo vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, «Let’s fly out of the cave and get some blood.» «We’re new here,» says the second one. «It’s dark out, and we don’t know where to look. We’d better wait until the other bats go with us.» The first ... Читать далее...
13. The most painful partA group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice the girl knew just as much about the game as themselves, and are really impressed. After the game they ask her, «How is it that you know so much about baseball?» She says, «Well, I ... Читать далее...
14. And yet another college dorm jokeI have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a ... Читать далее...
15. Extreme SportsCeleste: I’m so glad it’s Friday. Are you doing anything this weekend? Ryan: I’m going Snowboarding with James. Celeste: Didn’t you guys go Bungee jumping last weekend? Ryan: Yeah, and we plan to go Cave diving in a couple of weeks. Celeste: I didn’t know you were into Extreme sports. I guess it’s a big ... Читать далее...
16. The Insensitive GorillaA woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishes her ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы as far as that goes[as far as that goes] or [as far as that is concerned] or [so far as that is concerned] also [so far as that goes] {adv. phr.} While we are talking about it; also; actually. You don’t have to worry about the girls. Mary can take care of herself, and as far as that goes, ... Читать далее...
18. Love to DeathA man goes to his doctor for his annual physical complaining of all kinds of mysterious ailments — lack of sleep, no drive, very little appetite, nervous, etc. After a complete exam, the doctor can find nothing physically wrong and suspects the man is suffering from depression. The two had been friends for many years, ... Читать далее...
19. A wife begins to get a little worried becauseA wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until at 8 p. m. the husband finally pulls into the driveway. «What happened?» says the wife. «You should have been ... Читать далее...
20. Dealing With a Language BarrierCarol: Send another Memo to the Gibberese office. I think we Have our wires crossed again. Art: Don’t you think it would be better to call the office and speak to someone there? You might be able To get to the bottom of the Misunderstanding more quickly. Carol: I don’t speak Gibberish and we don’t ... Читать далее...
21. US Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary schoolUS Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school. After fifteen minutes speaking he says: ‘I will now answer any questions you have.’ Bobby stands up and says: ‘I have four questions’: 1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore? 2. Why haven’t you caught Osama bin Laden? 3. Why ... Читать далее...
22. Getting Political SupportHelen: Okay, your schedule today is very busy. First, you’re meeting with a group of Constituents concerned about the environment. Then, you’re speaking to a group of factory workers. At noon, you’ll be having lunch with a group of High-power donors. Mikhail: When I Signed on as a candidate, I had no idea I’d have ... Читать далее...
23. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the MeadowlandsThere’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on ... Читать далее...
24. Expressing Bitter FeelingsLaurent: I’m Done with women! They’re Liars and Manipulators. Julie: Let me guess. You’ve had a bad Breakup? Laurent: It wasn’t just bad. It was Monumentally awful. I’m never going to date again. Julie: You’re just feeling Bitter right now, but you’ll Get over it. You won’t always feel so Jaded. Wait a second. Did ... Читать далее...
25. Let him digAn old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most. «When I die I will dig my way up and out ... Читать далее...
26. This old man in his eighties got up and was putting onThis old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, «Where are you going?» He said, «I’m going to the doctor.» And she said, «Why? Are you sick?» «No,» he said. «I’m going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.» So his wife got up out ... Читать далее...
27. Negotiating a Business DealGia: Why are the Negotiations on this Deal taking so long? I thought we would be Putting the finishing touches on it by now. Logan: The other side is Holding out for more Concessions. I don’t know what they’re thinking. They made some pretty big Demands at the start and I think we’ve Given in ... Читать далее...
28. Lawyers on a juryA trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with ... Читать далее...
29. A regular Friday night poker gameA regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from the bathroom with an urgent report. «Roger, listen,» he told the host, «Walter’s in the kitchen making love to your wife.» «OK, that’s it, guys,» Roger said. «This is positively the last deal.»...
30. A woman comes homeA woman comes home from the doctor and tells her husband the bad news that she has only 18 hours to live. «That’s terrible!!!» said her husband, «What would you like to do during your last hours? I’ll try to make it as memorable as possible for you.» «Well,» she said, «First, I want to ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы as far as[as far as] or [so far as] {adv. phr.} 1. To the degree or amount that; according to what, how much, or how far. John did a good job as far as he went, but he did not finish it. So far as the weather is concerned, I do not think it matters. As far ... Читать далее...
32. Jill, a love-starved spinster, was so desperateJill, a love-starved spinster, was so desperate that she went to a local newspaper office and inquired about putting an advertisement in the ‘Lonely Hearts’ column. «Well, madam,» the assistant said, «we charge a minimum of $1 per insertion.» «You don’t say,» said the spinster «Well then, here’s $20 and to hell with the advertisement!»...
33. Business one-liners 02A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. — Milton Berle A committee is twelve men doing the work of one. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. — Abba Eban A conservative is ... Читать далее...
34. Controlling your spouseThere were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, «Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your ... Читать далее...
35. After putting her children to bed, a motherAfter putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed ... Читать далее...
36. Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, oneThree guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He ... Читать далее...
37. Three guys were sitting in a bar talkingThree guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; «You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the ... Читать далее...
38. Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they wereThree guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод слова groupGroup — группа, группировать Перевод слова A group of people — группа людей study group — учебная группа bronze group — скульптурная группа в бронзе Different flowers can be Grouped together to make a colourful display. Различные цветы могут быть собраны вместе, чтобы придать красочный вид. Spectators Grouped in twos. Зрители встали парами. The Group ... Читать далее...
40. Briton Is Kin of Stone Age ‘Cheddar Man’LONDON — After he was killed by a blow to the face about 9,000 years ago, the 23-year-old hunter was laid to rest in a limestone cave in what is now southwestern England. Now, say scientists astonishingly bridging 90 centuries and 300 generations, they have found a direct descendant of the Stone Age man. He ... Читать далее...