Orange penis

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1. Перевод слова orangeOrange — апельсин; оранжевый Перевод слова Orange ribbon — оранжевая лента orange grove — апельсиновая роща to squeeze an orange — выжимать сок из апельсина Cut the Orange in half. Разрежьте апельсин пополам. Peel and section the Orange. Очистите от кожуры и разделите апельсин на дольки. The Orange curtains clash with the red furniture. Эти ... Читать далее...
2. The definition of a phallic symbolThis girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks «Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says «you’re kidding..» Girl says «no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???» Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says «You see? This is a failic symbol!» Girl says «Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller»...
3. Значение идиомы Agent Orange[Agent Orange] {n.} A herbicide used as a defoliant during the Vietnam War, considered by some to cause birth defects and cancer, hence, by extension, an instance of «technological progress pollution». If things continue as they have, we’ll all be eating some Agent Orange with our meals....
4. The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s LifeThe Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life The Doctor — who tells her to «take off all her clothes.» The Dentist — who tells her to «open wide.» The Milkman — who asks her «do you want it in the front or the back?» The Hairdresser — who asks her «do you want ... Читать далее...
5. HEGSThe Doctor tells his patient that he has H-E-G-S «What’s that?», the patient asks. «It’s a combination of Herpes, Encephalitis, Gonorrhea and Syphyllis.» The patient wants to know if there’s a cure, to which the Doctor responds, «We have to keep you in a hospital room and feed you nothing but pancackes.» «Why only pancackes?», ... Читать далее...
6. TraditionsA man and a woman got married, and he told her : » since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for ... Читать далее...
7. A guy with bright blue, green and orange color hairA guy with bright blue, green and orange color hair was standing at a bus stop. Few moments later an elderly man stood near him and kept staring at him hard. Annoyed by the stares the guy asked him, «Wotz up oldie! Never done something wild?» To this the old man replied, «Yeah, I f*cked ... Читать далее...
8. When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longerWhen the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside, the physician examined him and explained that, thought rare his condition could be corrected by minor surgery. The patient’s wife ... Читать далее...
9. Take in a boarderAn elderly man tells the Doctor he is planning on marrying a women of 30, and would he have any suggestions. «Yes,» says the Doctor, «I would advise you to take in a boarder.» A year later at his 80th year check-up, the Doctor asks how everything is going. He says fine his wife is ... Читать далее...
10. The daughter of an Indian chief visits his doctorThe daughter of an Indian chief visits his doctor. She tells the doctor «Big Chief no fart.» The doctor tells her to give him three pills a day. The girl comes back the next day and tells the doctor, «Big Chief no fart.» The doctor then gets really worried and tells her to give him ... Читать далее...
11. Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctorSteve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he’s worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him, «Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.» Steve says, «Will that keep me from getting sick?» The doctor says, «No, but it’ll look real pretty in the ... Читать далее...
12. A man goes to the doctorA man goes to the doctor and says, «Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.» The doctor asks, «What do you mean?» The man says, «When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee — OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.» The doctor says, «I know what’s wrong ... Читать далее...
13. A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologistA beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, «Do you know what I’m ... Читать далее...
14. A guy approaches a prostitute on the street and asks herA guy approaches a prostitute on the street and asks her, «how much?» she replies, «$100 if I lay down and $75 if I stand up.» He asks what the difference is, and she tells him, «it’s my hairdresser’s fee!»...
15. A young girl sees her father in the showerA young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are. «Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life,» he tells her, by way of poetic concealment. She tells this to her mother, who replies, «Did he say anything about that dead branch they’re hanging on?»...
16. There was three guys, one with a rubberThere was three guys, one with a rubber dick, one with a wooden dick, and one with a nine foot dick. The guy with the rubber dick couldn’t have sex because it wasn’t hard. The guy with the wooden dick couldn’t have sex because the other person would get splinters. Finally, the third guy with ... Читать далее...
17. Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are hikingSherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are hiking. They hiked all day long and then, having gotten tired, unpacked and quickly retired. Holmes wakes up deep into the night, wakes Watson and says «Watson, do you see the bright stars and do you notice how clear the sky is? What can you deduce from it?» Watson ... Читать далее...
18. Manly signs«Doctor, doctor!» shouted the woman coming into the doctors offfice. «I think I’m turning into a man» then the doctor says, » Now hold on little lady what makes you think that you’re turning into a man?» » Well» said the woman «I’m starting to grow hair on my chest» and then the doctor asked, ... Читать далее...
19. Where lawers come fromAn anxious woman goes to her doctor. «Doctor,» she asks nervously, «can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?» «Certainly,» replies the doctor, «Where do you think lawyers come from?»...
20. A man walks into a doctor officeA man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. «What’s the matter with me?» he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, «You’re not eating properly.»...
21. A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnantA woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, «Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?» The doctor answered, «Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy ... Читать далее...
22. Getting a Second OpinionGreg: Where are you going? Anne: I’m going to see another doctor to get a Second opinion. My doctor Diagnosed me with a serious Medical condition and I don’t want To take it at face value. Greg: You’re Second-guessing your doctor? Anne: No, I just want to make sure he’s right. He’s also recommending a ... Читать далее...
23. Buying a chainsawThis fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, «Look, I have a lot of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line ... Читать далее...
24. A man goes into the doctor’s office feeling really badA man goes into the doctor’s office feeling really bad. After a thorough examination the doctor calls him into his office and says «I have some bad news. You have HAGS.» «What is HAGS» the man asks. «It’s herpes, AIDS, gonorrhea, and syphilis» says the doctor. «Oh my God» says the man. «What are you ... Читать далее...
25. A pregnant woman is about to give birthA pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, «Are you my dad?». The doctor says, «No, I am your doctor!». ... Читать далее...
26. A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wifeA concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, «Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.» «Well,» the doctor replied, «go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say ... Читать далее...
27. The way he diedA person is in the hospital and asked his doctor how much time does he have left to live. The doctor did not want to lie so he told him that he wouldn’t make it through the night. So the person calls for his lawyer and asks him to come and sit by his bed. ... Читать далее...
28. An elderly couple walk into a doctor officeAn elderly couple walk into a doctor’s office. The man tells the doctor, «Doctor, we want to have a baby.» The doctor replies,»At your age I don’t think it’s possible, but I’ll give you a jar, come back in a few days with a sperm sample.» So the couple comes back a few days later. ... Читать далее...
29. A man comes to a doctor andA man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, «Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?» «Oh, that’s not a problem for us men anymore!» announces a proud physician, «They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You ... Читать далее...
30. My heart setA certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and he was advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to see the doctor, and the doctor said, «All right, let’s check you out. You sit down here on this stool. You put your right hand over your right eye and ... Читать далее...
31. How to call penisAt a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries. The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering. The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a ... Читать далее...
32. A penis studyIn 1993, the University of Kentucky did a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $ 80,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the study was published, ... Читать далее...
33. Our bright childhood10 year old Timmy comes home from daycare and tells his mom that he thinks his babysitter is gay. «Whatever makes you think THAT?!!?» says mom. Timmy replies, «Because his dick tasted like shit!»...
34. Fred DingalingA local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he’s in a good mood that day he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name. «Fred,» he replies. «Fred what?» ... Читать далее...
35. A couple, age 67, went to the doctors officeA couple, age 67, went to the doctor’s office. The doctor asked, «What can I do for you?» The man said, «Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?» The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, «There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.» And he then charged ... Читать далее...
36. Lorena Bobbitt had just cut off her husband’s penisLorena Bobbitt had just cut off her husband’s penis. She was driving down the road, wondering what to do with it, when the thought struck her to toss it out the window. The penis bounced off the windscreen of the car travelling in the opposite direction. «Shit,» said the driver to his passenger. «What kind ... Читать далее...
37. Some problemsA woman gives birth by a Caesarian and passes out. When she comes to her senses, the doctor approaches her bed and says: «I’m sorry to tell you, Mrs. Smith, that your baby has some serious problems.» «What problems, doctor? I mean, when it arrives, I’ll love it. It’s my child and I’ll love it ... Читать далее...
38. The Company Commander and the 1st Sgt, were in the fieldThe Company Commander and the 1st Sgt, were in the field. As they hit the sack for the night, the 1SG said: «Sir, look up into the sky and tell me what you see.» The CO said «I see millions of stars.» 1st Sgt.: «And what does that tell you, sir?» CO: Astronomically, it tells ... Читать далее...
39. Crazy people talkA doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient ... Читать далее...
40. A lesson in ebonicsA sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell ‘before.’ He stands up and says, «Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.» The teacher says, «No, that’s wrong. Can anyone else spell before?» Another little boy stands up and says, «Before, B-E-F-O-O-R.» Again the teacher says, «No, that’s wrong.» The teacher asks, ... Читать далее...