One day an older fella was in for a checkup

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1. Перевод слова healthy Healthy – здоровый, полезный Перевод слова Healthy appetite – здоровый аппетит to be strong and healthy – быть сильным и здоровым to have a healthy colour – иметь цветущий вид healthy exercise – полезный моцион Smoking is not Healthy for you. Курение опасно для вашего здоровья. He has a Healthy appetite. У него здоровой аппетит. […]...
2. An older woman was in the pastoral study An older woman was in the pastoral study counceling for her upcoming fourth wedding. “Father,” she said, “How am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin?” “My child, you have been a married woman for many years. Surely that cannot be,” he replied. “Well Father, my first husband was a […]...
3. Hair on my chest A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary. “HA!” he snorted. “The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow hair on your chest!” On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrust her pubic area forward, “There! I […]...
4. Collection 07 I hear you are a real humanitarian. You have kept three or four detectives working regularly. I hear you are connected to the Police Department – by a pair of handcuffs. Hello – tall, dark and obnoxious! You remind me of the ocean – you make me sick. You should have been born in the […]...
5. The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, […]...
6. During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. “Doctor,” she replied shyly, “I just can’t undress in front of you.” “All right,” said the physician, “I’ll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you’re through.” In a few moments, her voice rang out […]...
7. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]...
8. A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary. “HA,” he snorted, “The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow hair on your chest!” On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrusts her pubic area forward. “There! I […]...
9. Значение идиомы take shape [take shape] {v. phr.} To grow or develop into a certain fixedform. Plans for our vacation are beginning to take shape. Theirnew home took shape as the weeks went by. Compare: SHAPE UP....
10. Strategy The middle aged secretary had never been married and had had enuff of work, as well as the single life. It was no secret that she was looking to get married. As she came back from her lunch hour with another bag from the drug store, a co-worker said, “In the past 3 weeks you’ve […]...
11. Golf with older man A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee […]...
12. Перевод слова shape Shape – форма, очертание, образ Перевод слова Rectangular in shape – прямоугольной формы in the shape of a horseshoe – в виде подковы an angel in the shape of a woman – воплощенный ангел (о женщине) The dress was Shaped to her figure. Платье подогнали по ее фигуре. What Shape is the table? Какой формы […]...
13. The wife of an older man is distraught The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband’s um… little sailor can’t salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for her. The doc thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says, “listen, I don’t do this for […]...
14. An advantage of being with an older woman If you act immature enough and hang around long enough, an older woman will just mistake you for another one of her children and let you live at her house rent-free. Older women can afford to support you....
15. One day in the Garden of Eden One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem!” “What’s the problem, Eve?” “Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I’m just not happy.” “Why is that, Eve?” came the […]...
16. An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the […]...
17. Значение идиомы in shape [in shape] or [in condition] {adj. phr.} In good condition; able toperform well. The football team will he in shape for the first gameof the season. Mary was putting her French in shape for the lest. Compare: IN PRACTICE. Contrast: OUT OF SHAPE....
18. Seymour was a good and pious man Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. “Hungry, Seymour?” the Lord asked. “I could eat,” said Seymour. The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it. While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and […]...
19. An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, “So how has life been treating you?” The old man replies,”The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when […]...
20. Перевод слова lord Lord – господин, повелитель; командовать, помыкать Перевод слова Our sovereign lord the King – король, наш верховный повелитель the House of Lords – палата лордов lord of the manor – владелец поместья he will not be lorded over – он не позволит командовать собой He Lords it over his friends. Он помыкает своими друзьями. Lord […]...
21. An ant and an elephant share a night of romance An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. Next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. “Damn”, says the ant, “one night of passion and I spend the rest of my life digging a grave!”...
22. Перевод идиомы get a checkup, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: get a checkup Перевод: пройти врачебный осмотр Пример: I go to the doctor every year to get a checkup. Каждый год я хожу к врачу на осмотр....
23. Перевод слова straight Straight – прямой, прямо Перевод слова The straightest way to – самый прямой путь в straight run – беспосадочный полет to ride straight – ехать напрямик to drink straight from the bottle – пить прямо из горлышка Are you going Straight to London? Вы едете прямо в Лондон? He shot Straight. Он метко выстрелил. He […]...
24. Значение идиомы over one’s dead body [over one’s dead body] {adv. phr.}, {informal} Not having theability to stop something undesirable from taking place. “You willget married at age sixteen over my dead body!” Jane’s father cried....
25. Chinese Subtitles From a list of English subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong, Compiled by Stefan Hammond and Mike Wilkins for their book, to be published in August by Fireside. Cited in Harper’s, June 1996. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep. […]...
26. Значение идиомы out of shape [out of shape] or [out of condition] {adj. phr.} 1. Not in goodcondition; not able to perform well. Father was out of shape whenhe took a long hike with the boys, and he was stiff and sore the nextday. Jack’s pitching arm got out of condition during the winter, when he wasn’t using it. Compare: […]...
27. Перевод сленгового выражения give a damn (about someone or something), значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: give a damn (about someone or something) Перевод: проявлять интерес, беспокоиться, волноваться (часто используется в отрицательном значении – Not give a damn, также отрицательное значение выражению могут придать глаголы Could и Might) Синоним: give a shit; give a rat’s ass Пример: He thinks that people give a damn about this matter, but that’s […]...
28. Getting Older Angelica: Oh sorry, what was I saying? I Lost my train of thought. Yann: You were telling me about the book you’re reading. Angelica: Oh, yeah. I must have had one of those Senior moments. Yann: Welcome to the club. That’s what happens when you’re Over-the-hill like we are. Angelica: We’re not over the hill! […]...
29. Democrats on the front porch This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, “Help, send the police to my house right away! There’s a damn Democrat on my front porch and he’s playing with himself.” “What?” the operator exclaimed. “I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and he’s weird; […]...
30. Значение идиомы straight from the horse’s mouth [straight from the horse’s mouth] {slang} Directly from the personor place where it began; from a reliable source or a person thatcannot be doubted. They are going to be married. I got the newsstraight from the horse’s mouth – their minister. John found outabout the painting straight from the horse’s mouth, from the painterhimself....
31. Перевод слова strong Strong – сильный, крепкий, твердый Перевод слова Strong will – сильная воля strong constitution – крепкое здоровье strong denial – решительный отказ He’s as Strong as an ox. Он силен, как бык. He was a big Strong man. Он был большим и сильным человеком. Tact isn’t my Strong point. Тактичность не является моей отличительной чертой. […]...
32. Перевод слова dead Dead – мертвый, увядший, смертельно Перевод слова Dead body – труп dead list – список погибших dead leaves – засохшие листья dead to all love – безразличный к любви You look Dead beat. Ты выглядишь смертельно усталой. Drop Dead! Иди к черту! Отвали! My fingers are Dead. У меня онемели пальцы. Интересные факты “Мертвец” (Dead […]...
33. Перевод слова married Married – женатый, брачный Перевод слова Married man – женатый человек married name – фамилия по мужу married couple – супружеская пара So, how do you like Married life? Так, как тебе супружеская жизнь? She Married an Evans. Она вышла замуж за одного из Эвансов. I was Married to my job. Я был женат на […]...
34. Funny Humor about the Irish This is a true story of the late Irish author Brendan Behan who one night collapsed in a diabetic coma in a Dublin street. It was at a time when he was at the height of his drunken notoriety and passes-by naturally thought he was dead drunk. They took him to the nearby surgery of […]...
35. Every damn time Speaking of divorce (I was), this woman petitions the court for a divorce on the grounds that her husband “beats her.” The Judge, wanting every detail asked how often it was he beat the woman. “Every damn time your Honor,” she sighed, “Every damn time!”...
36. I like monkeys This was originally posted in rec. sport. pro-wrestling Date: 1999/03/04 Author: briang68g@gearthlink. net I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys. […]...
37. Who signed the Declaration of Independence? A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students. “Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence?” He said, “Damn if I know.” She was a little put out by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his father with him when he came back. Next day, the father came with his son, […]...
38. Значение идиомы lord it over [lord it over] {v. phr.} To act as the superior and master of;dominate; be bossy over; control. John learned early to lord itover other children. The office manager lorded it over the clerksand typists....
39. Marriage quotes 15 All marriages are happy – it’s the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn’t agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don’t love me […]...
40. A man was leaving church one day A man was leaving church one day. The Pastor was standing at the door (as he always is) to shake hands with members of the congregation. He grasped the man by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” The man replied, “I’m […]...