One balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides to

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1. On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said, “What’s a four – letter word ending in “unt” which means “woman”? The bishop said, “Did you try “aunt”? The Pope said, “Mmmm. Do you […]...
2. A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also. “Now, […]...
3. The Pope took a philosophy professor The Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidentally dropped an oar and watched it float away. The pontiff stepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the oar, grabbed it and walked back to the […]...
4. The Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals The Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals. When they have all assembled at the Vatican, he takes them into the meeting hall and states, “I have some really fantastic news and some very terrible news.” Of course, all the cardinals want to hear the good news first, so the Pope tells them, “Jesus […]...
5. The Pope vs. the Queen The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at thousands of people in the forecourt below. The Queen says to the Pope out of the corner of her mouth, “I bet you a tenner that I can make every English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my […]...
6. When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there was this bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. The the guy’s amazement, when […]...
7. Пословица / поговорка Rome wasn’t built in a day / Rome was not built in a day – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: Rome wasn’t built in a day / Rome was not built in a day Перевод: Рим строился не один день Эквивалент в русском языке: не сразу Москва строилась Пример: Rome was not built in a day and the government officials realized that it was going to take many years to rebuild the […]...
8. Religion in Great Britain Топик Религия в Великобритании рассказывает интересную историю становления англиканской церкви в Англии. Оказывается, Британия была и католической страной, но рассорившись с Папой, король Генрих VIII стал во главе англиканской церкви. Несколько раз религии менялись и в настоящее время, большинство англичан принадлежат к англиканской государственной церкви (одна из крупнейших ветвей протестантского христианства). Распространены также католическая и […]...
9. Pope Dies Pope Dies The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He’s met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon […]...
10. A few years ago, when the Catholic church reform began A few years ago, when the Catholic church reform began to be much in the news, Mrs. Moskowitz said to Mrs. Finkelstein, “Tell me, Becky, have you heard by chance what’s going on in Rome?” “No,” said Mrs Finkelstein. “I haven’t. What’s going on in Rome?” “A meeting of high Catholic churchmen has, among other […]...
11. The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning, walking round his new parish, after leaving his wife in bed with the Sunday papers, her cup of tea, and a pack of cigarettes. One of the old villagers came up to him and said. “Good morning Vicar, how be you and the wife?” The Vicar […]...
12. There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death’s door, and said to her papal neighbour. ‘Father, surely you can do something about this…’ To which the Pope replied, […]...
13. The Pope was working on a crossword puzzle The Pope was working on a crossword puzzle. He thought and thought about one clue, finally gave up and asked the Cardinal next to him, “What’s a four letter word, ending in U – N – T that means ‘woman’?” The Cardinal was working on his own puzzle and didn’t even bother to look up. […]...
14. One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf. But he couldn’t, since it was Sunday. But he figured, well, it’s ok if i just play a little bit. So he changed clothes and went out into the green. Up in heaven an angel saw him and reported it to Jesus. However, Jesus didn’t do […]...
15. Значение идиомы all roads lead to Rome [all roads lead to Rome] {literary} The same end or goal may be reached by many different ways. – A proverb. “I don’t care how you get the answer,” said the teacher, “All roads lead to Rome.”...
16. Значение идиомы Rome wasn’t built in a day [Rome wasn’t built in a day] Great things are not accomplishedovernight; great deeds take a long time. – A proverb. A takes along time to write a successful novel, but don’t worry; Rome wasn’tbuilt in a day, as the saying goes....
17. Пословица / поговорка all roads lead to Rome – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: all roads lead to Rome Перевод: все дороги ведут в Рим Пример: All roads lead to Rome and the two groups used two different methods to finish the project. Все дороги ведут в Рим, и эти две группы использовали разные методы для завершения своих проектов....
18. Пословица / поговорка when in Rome do as the Romans do – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: when in Rome do as the Romans do Перевод: в чужой монастырь со своим уставом не ходят Эквивалент в русском языке: с волками жить – по-волчьи выть Пример: The diplomat believed that when in Rome do as the Romans do and he made an effort to learn the language and the customs […]...
19. Haircut before a trip A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking TWA,” was the reply. […]...
20. Divine Right Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest […]...
21. You should be more pollite Trafalgar Square. A young man and an old woman sit on a bench. Near the benches walk a lot of pigeons. Pigeons make a lot of noise. Young man stands up and begins to shout: “Fuck off you stupid pigeons! Fuck off!”. An old woman says: “Young man. You should be more pollite and not […]...
22. The seven dwarves were in Rome The three dwarves were in rome and went to the nearest nunnery. They got to talk to the mother superior. “Excuse us, but can you tell us where the dwarf nuns are?” “Sorry”, she replies, “but there are no dwarf nuns here”. “Well, are there any in the city?”. “No, there are no dwarf nuns”. […]...
23. Religion in Great Britain – Религия в Великобритании British religion used to be closely connected with kings, queens and politics. England was a Roman Catholic country until 1534. In 1525 King Henry VIII decided to divorce his queen, Catherine of Aragon, because he fell in love with Anne Boleyn. But when Henry asked the Pope for permission to divorce Catherine, he refused. Henry […]...
24. The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out. He couldn’t concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone […]...
25. Перевод слова spiritual Spiritual – духовный, одухотворенный Перевод слова Our spiritual home – наша духовная родина his spiritual heir – его духовный наследник spiritual mind – возвышенный ум spiritual features – одухотворенное лиц He wrote books about the Spiritual debilitation of the wealthy youth. Он писал книги о моральной деградации богатой молодежи. Man is a mixed being, made […]...
26. A catholic lithany A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. “A priest. Somebody get me a priest!” the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd—-no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. “A […]...
27. Значение идиомы taken aback [taken aback] also [taken back] {adj.} Unpleasantly surprised;suddenly puzzled or shocked. When he came to pay for his dinner hewas taken aback to find that he had left his wallet at home....
28. A theological debate Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy, if the […]...
29. A blonde decides to try horseback riding A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and then horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, […]...
30. A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try horseback riding one day. So Vikki mounts the horse, taps its butt, and the horse starts to take off at a reasonable speed. She is having fun, and decides she wants to go a little faster, so she kicks the horses butt, and the horse goes […]...
31. A fellow decides to take off early from work A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he […]...
32. Man and a Policeman A man defecates on London Bridge. A policeman comes to him and says: – Sir but you are not allowed to do that in this place. -Fuck yuo! -Sir, but the Law? -I fuck your The Law! -Sir, but The Qeen? -I fuck your Queen! -Indeed? -In bed! -Sorry Your Majesty....
33. The wedding is offno on! All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride’s father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry. “The weddin’s off,” he shouted, “Everybody bugger off!” Dismayed and […]...
34. Three couples wanted to join a church Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.” The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor goes to the […]...
35. Значение идиомы fuck off [fuck off] {v. phr.}, {vulgar}, {avoidable} 1. Go away! Can’tyou see you’re bothering me? Fuck off! 2. To be lazy. John said “Idon’t feel like working, so I’ll fuck off today.” Compare: BEAT IT, GOOF OFF....
36. Биография Томаса Мора на английском языке. Biography of Thomas More Sir Thomas More, an outstanding public figure of the 16th century was a brilliant lawyer, a royal favourite and Chancellor of England. He was a son of a lawyer. A the age of 12 he went to serve in the household of Cardinal Morton, Archbishop of Canterbury and Chancellor of England; at 14 he went […]...
37. Биография Галилео Галилея на английском языке. Biography of Galileo Galilei Galileo is often called the founder of modern science. He made many discoveries in astronomy and physics and he built telescopes to study space. Galileo Galilei was born in Pisa, Italy in 1564. His father sent him to the university to study medicine, but young Galileo was more interested in science and mathematics. Galileo made […]...
38. This rich couple were going out for the evening This rich couple were going out for the evening when the woman of the house decided to give the butler the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his night. Well, as it turned out the wife wasn’t having a good time at the […]...
39. A guy was driving home one evening A guy was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it is his daughter’s birthday and that he hasn’t bought her anything. Out the corner of his eye he sees a shopping mall. Knowing it was “now or never”, he pulls his car through three lanes of traffic, finds a parking bay and […]...
40. Значение идиомы head over heels [head over heels] also [heels over head] 1a. In a somersault;upside down; head first. It was so dark Bob fell head over heelsinto a big hole in the ground. Compare: UPSIDE DOWN. 1b. In greatconfusion or disorder; hastily. The children all tried to come inthe door at once, head over heels. Compare: TOPSY-TURVY. 2.{informal} Completely; […]...