Love handles

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1. A recently divorced woman is walking along the beachA recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly screwed she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp washing up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!! The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation, the ... Читать далее...
2. Leprechaun JokesThree guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. «I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total», says the Genie. The Scottish guy says, «I am a fisherman, my Dad’s ... Читать далее...
3. ZipperGate UpdateIn a deal engineered by veteran mouthpieces Stein and Cacheris, Ms. Lewinsky has apparently headed off possible perjury charges by offering a full throated confession to Kenneth Starr. Sources close to the investigation report Starr is pumping Ms. Lewinsky for details concerning an oral pact with Mr. Clinton to withhold evidence. Although the independent prosecutor’s ... Читать далее...
4. This black guy is walking along a beach whenThis black guy is walking along a beach when he looks down a sees an antique lamp. Thinking that he’ll get enough money for another vial of crack, he takes the bottle home and starts to clean it. He starts rubbing the lamp, when all of a sudden a Jewish genie appears, and being a ... Читать далее...
5. Once upon a time a man was walking downOnce upon a time a man was walking down the street. He saw an ancient oil lamp in an ash can and, thinking of the Aladdin legend, he picked up and rubbed it. Sure enough, out popped a genie. «Master, I shall now grant you one wish.» The man spoke, his eyes bulging with desire. ... Читать далее...
6. Here is this guy who really takes care of his bodyHere is this guy who really takes care of his body, he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over, except his penis, and he decies to do something about it. He goes to the ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод идиомы let the genie out of the bottle, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: let the genie out of the bottle Перевод: выпустить джина из бутылки; допустить что-либо плохое, нежелательное, чего уже не остановить Пример: Now the press has let the genie out of the bottle, the question is what happens next. Пресса выпустила джина из бутылки, вопрос теперь в том, что будет дальше....
8. Перевод сленгового выражения love handles, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: love handles Перевод: неприглядные жировые отложения на боках талии (употребляется обычно по отношению к мужчинам) Пример: I need to exercise more — my love handles are growing! Мне нужно больше заниматься — у меня увеличиваются бока!...
9. Ass-corkedTwo guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass. He says, «How’d you get a cork in your ass?» The other guy says, «I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a ... Читать далее...
10. Interesting things about Monica LewinskyInteresting things about Monica Lewinsky: — Nobody would know about her if it weren’t for Bill — She sucks — She blows — She’s bloated — She’s the focus of a huge legal battle — She’ll go down in a heartbeat Who does she think she is, Microsoft Windows?...
11. An explorer goes into an undiscovered tombAn explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and started to rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and he said «I want to know the person you ... Читать далее...
12. Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationshipProsecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? Pres: Improper? … Ain’t nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I’ve ever had....
13. Book shelfMonica Lewinsky’s tell-all book about her affair with the U. S. President has, for one Winnipeg Chapters outlet, not sold all that well after its first day on the shelves, as reported by CBC Radio News. To draw attention to the book, or to perhaps add some perspective, the Lewinksy book had three other titles ... Читать далее...
14. Defending Your Ideas at WorkMonica: That’s why I don’t think it’s Doable. We should consider other ideas. … That was Monica. She’s my co-worker and my Nemesis. She Criticizes all of my ideas, but I’ve learned that the best Defense is to not get Defensive. … Kazuya: I appreciate your Feedback. I understand your Reservations, but let me show ... Читать далее...
15. Showing Off a New PurchaseMonica: Wow, Check you out! When did you buy a new car? Kevin: This isn’t just any new car. It’s a Ferrari. Monica: I can see that. It must have Set you back a few. Kevin: Yeah, but it was Worth it. You should see the looks I get riding around in this Baby. My ... Читать далее...
16. Showing Off a New PurchaseMonica: Wow, Check you out! When did you buy a new car? Kevin: This isn’t just any new car. It’s a Ferrari. Monica: I can see that. It must have Set you back a few. Kevin: Yeah, but it was Worth it. You should see the looks I get riding around in this Baby. My ... Читать далее...
17. The third wishA young man fell in a pit one day, and found a magic lamp with a genie inside of it. The genie said, ‘I will grant you three wishes.’ The man’s first wish was to get out of the pit. **POOF** He was instantly transported out. He then wished for all the gold in the ... Читать далее...
18. A Destructive StormAllen: Are you all right? Monica: Yes, we’re fine, but that Blizzard really Caught us off guard, especially this time of year. Have you seen the news? Allen: I just watched it. Overnight, the storm Felled over 30 trees in and around the town and Toppled utility lines. City officials are saying that some Residents ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы walking papers[walking papers] or [walking orders] also [walking ticket] {n.},{informal} A statement that you are fired from your job; dismissal. The boss was not satisfied with Paul’s work and gave him his walkingpapers. George is out of work. He picked up his walking ticketlast Friday....
20. Значение идиомы out on bail[out on bail] {adv. phr.} Released from prison because a securitydeposit known as «bail» has been put up by an individual or a bailbond broker. The murder suspect was out on a one million dollarbail awaiting trial....
21. Перевод слова curiousCurious — любопытный, любознательный, пытливый Перевод слова Curious idlers — зеваки, любопытствующие бездельники curious incident — любопытный случай curious research — тщательное исследование Mandy was Curious to know what happened. Мэнди было любопытно узнать, что случилось. Puppies are naturally Curious. Щенки, любопытны от природы. He was too Curious to let the matter drop. Он был ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова shoreShore — берег, побережье, земля Перевод слова Bold shore — крутой берег clear shore — безопасный берег distant shores — далекие земли Head the boat toward Shore. Направь лодку к берегу. The fog obfuscated the Shore. Над берегом моря сгустился туман. The sub was conducting exercises off the Shore of Florida. Подводная лодка находилась в ... Читать далее...
23. At a grocery storeA man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, «No.» The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, «Now Monica, we just have ... Читать далее...
24. Lawyers on a juryA trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы on trial[on trial] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. For testing or trying out for atime before making a decision. I was lucky that I had bought themachine on trial because I didn’t like it and was able to return it. Mother bought a new dishwasher on trial and was trying it outbefore deciding whether to keep ... Читать далее...
26. Love JesusBy Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I’m really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова trialTrial — испытание, проба, пробный; суд Перевод слова A blind clinical trial — клиническое испытание trial run — испытательный пробег trial period — испытательный срок state trial — суд над государственным преступником Her Trial will be public. Судебное разбирательство по ее делу будет открытым. He was on Trial for murder. Его судили за убийство. I ... Читать далее...
28. The FishermanOne day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish. About that time, a businessman came walking down the ... Читать далее...
29. Jokes of science 02The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist’s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. «Hmmm,» says the theorist, «That’s exactly where you’d expect to see that peak. Here’s the reason (long logical explanation follows).» In the middle of it, the experimentalist says «Wait a minute», studies the chart for a second, and ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы brush off[brush off] or [give the brush off] {v. phr.} 1. To refuse to hear or believe; quickly and impatiently; not take seriously or think important. John brushed off Bill’s warning that he might fall from the tree. I said that it might rain and to take the bus, but Joe gave my idea the brush ... Читать далее...
31. PUPPY LOVEA man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, «Well, son, they’re making a puppy.» The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being ... Читать далее...
32. Перевод слова sandSand — песок, засыпать песком Перевод слова To blanket the fire with sand — засыпать огонь песком sand-blast cleaning — пескоструйная очистка corn of sand — песчинка I have Sand in my shoe. У меня песок в ботинках. Water permeates Sand easily. Вода легко проходит сквозь песок. The new Renault comes in black, silver, blue ... Читать далее...
33. The local courtroom was packed as testimony beganThe local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee. The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for him trying to make his client appear more sympathetic to the Judge, especially since she had been ... Читать далее...
34. Enjoying the OutdoorsMy favorite Time of year is the summer. I like being Outdoors, doing Anything from Hiking to going to the Beach. One thing about working in an office all week is that I don’t get much Fresh air. With summer here, I plan to take Full advantage. Last week, I went to the beach with ... Читать далее...
35. Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycleJuan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, «What’s in the bags?» «Sand,» answered Juan. The guard says, «We’ll just see about that get off the bike.» The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them ... Читать далее...
36. Mexican SmugglerJuan pedals up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks, «What’s in the bags?» «Sand,» answers Juan. The guard says, «We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.» The guard takes the bags and rips them apart. He empties them ... Читать далее...
37. Summer Holidays (2)В топике Летние каникулы (2) рассказывается о пляжах, куда стремятся тысячи отдыхающих, чтобы насладиться солнцем, морем, солнечными ваннами, катанием на лодках, рыбной ловлей и серфингом. Многие туристы часто отправляются на разные морские побережья, чтобы увидеть знаменитые достопримечательности разных частей мира. The beach is a traditional summer destination for thousands of people. Everyone wants to go ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод слова bottleBottle — бутылка Перевод слова To drink a whole bottle — выпить целую бутылку to bottle a beverage — разливать напиток по бутылкам to fill a bottle — наполнить бутылку Has the baby finished her Bottle yet? Малыш уже выпил свою бутылочку? Between us, we drank three Bottles of wine. Между нами, мы выпили три ... Читать далее...
39. Showing Disapproval and SympathyMaggie: Why the Long face? Joe: I just heard that I won’t be rehired for next year. Maggie: That’s awful! What a rotten thing for the management to do. Joe: I’ll be okay, but Monica is losing her job, too. Maggie: Oh no, not Monica, too. I’m So sorry to hear that. Who do they ... Читать далее...
40. There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redheadThere are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were on a cruise ship and it was heading home. When they got about 20 miles of shore the boat began to sink (no idea way use your imagination). The three girls jump off and swim to a nearby island. After being there ... Читать далее...