It was a somber day in Disney land

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1. Two story houseA man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, «Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce.» «Because,» the man says,»I live in a two-story house.» The Judge replies, «What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about ... Читать далее...
2. Every damn timeSpeaking of divorce (I was), this woman petitions the court for a divorce on the grounds that her husband «beats her.» The Judge, wanting every detail asked how often it was he beat the woman. «Every damn time your Honor,» she sighed, «Every damn time!»...
3. Перевод слова landLand — земля, суша, территория, почва; выгружать Перевод слова Land plants — наземные растения to visit distant lands — побывать в дальних странах stony land — каменистая почва to land troops in France — высадить войска во Франции His Land joins mine. Его земли граничат с моими. He forswore the Land. Он поклялся никогда больше ... Читать далее...
4. Значение идиомы lay of the land[lay of the land] also [how the land lies] {n. phr.} 1. The naturalfeatures of a piece of land, such as hills and valleys. The styleof house the contractor builds depends partly on the lay of the land. 2. The way something is arranged; the important facts about something;how things are. The banker wanted to ... Читать далее...
5. Divorce decision«Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,» the divorce court judge said, «and I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.» «That’s very fair, your honor,» the husband said. «And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.»...
6. Charlie was playing with his little brother MickeyCharlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman. «Sure you can, Mickey,» Charlie said, «Just flap your arms really *really* hard.» So Mickey climbed up on the windowsill, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground six stories below. Horrified, their mother ... Читать далее...
7. At night court, a man was brought in and setAt night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. The judge said, «State your name, occupation, and the charge.» The defendant said, «I’m Sparks, I’m an electrician, charged with battery.» The judge winced and said, «Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!»...
8. Значение идиомы land on one’s feet[land on one’s feet] also [land on both feet] {v. phr.}, {informal}To get yourself out of trouble without damage or injury and sometimeswith a gain; be successful no matter what happens. No matter whattrouble he gets into, he always seems to land on his feet. Marylost her first job because she was always late to ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова grantGrant — дарить, даровать, жаловать; грант, субсидия Перевод слова Research grant — субсидия на проведение исследования to put in a claim for a grant — ходатайствовать о субсидии to grant lands — даровать землю, жаловать землей to grant an allowance of… — назначать денежное содержание в размере… This bill Grants us new rights. Этот законопроект ... Читать далее...
10. A lady from California purchased a piece of timber landA lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that ... Читать далее...
11. Staring down from the bench to announce the termsStaring down from the bench to announce the terms of the divorce decree, the judge turned to the husband and said: «I’m going to award her alimony in the amount of $250 a month.» To which the woman’s about-to-be ex replied: «That’s mighty kind of you, judge. I’ll try to help her all I can, ... Читать далее...
12. Значение идиомы see how the land lies[see how the land lies] {v. phr.}, {informal} To reconnoiter;investigate. Before going there in person to ask for a job, you hadbetter see how the land lies and who does what. Compare: CASE THEJOINT....
13. Значение идиомы hold court[hold court] {v. phr.} 1. To hold a formal meeting of a royal courtor a court of law. Judge Stephens allowed no foolishness when heheld court. 2. {informal} To act like a king or queen among subjects. Even at sixteen, Judy was holding court for numbers of charmedboys....
14. Значение идиомы land-office business[land-office business] {n.}, {informal} A great rush of business. It was a hot day, and the drive-ins were doing a land-office businessin ice cream and cold drinks....
15. Перевод сленгового выражения la la land, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: la la land Перевод: ненастоящее, несуществующее место; страна грез Пример: Most celebrities live in a la la land of luxury hotels, expensive cars and exotic travel. Большинство знаменитостей живут в вымышленном мире шикарных гостиниц, дорогих авто и экзотических путешествий. Going to school is fun, but eventually you have to leave the la la ... Читать далее...
16. How to the nearest land!?The ship is sinking. Panic, screams and confusion. One of the passengers turns to the captain: — How to the nearest land!? — Two miles. — And in what direction to swim!? — Down.....
17. Having Plumbing ProblemsMickey: Hello, McQuillan Plumbing. Colleen: Hi, I’m having a lot of Plumbing problems. Can you send a Plumber out to my house right away? Mickey: Yes, we can. But first, let’s find out what the problems are. Colleen: Well, to start, my Toilet won’t Flush and it’s Overflowing. Mickey: An overflowing toilet – Check. What ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы cut-and-dried[cut-and-dried] {adj. phr.} Decided or expected beforehand; following the same old line; doing the usual thing. The decision of the judge was cut-and-dried. The ways of the king’s court were cut-and-dried. People at the convention heard many cut-and-dried speeches....
19. A judge asked a defendant to please standA judge asked a defendant to please stand. «You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw.» From out in the audience a man shouted, «Lying bastard!» «Silence in the court!», the judge shouted back to the man. He turned to the defendant and said, «You are also charged with killing a ... Читать далее...
20. A tough case was being argued in courtA tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney, feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle of hundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied. «The judge’ll kill me. Trying to bribe him! We’re dead!» «I don’t think so,» his attorney told him. «I sent it in ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод сленгового выражения Mickey Mouse, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: Mickey Mouse Перевод: 1. неважный, пустяковый, незначительный; 2. глупый, простой, неумный Пример: He settled for a Mickey Mouse job instead of something challenging. Он согласился на пустяковую работу вместо чего-то стоящего. His Mickey Mouse assignments soon bored the students. Его простенькие задания скоро надоели всем ученикам....
22. THE LAND OF OZDan Quayle, Newt Gingrich, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together in the Midwest, when suddenly a tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. When they come down and pull themselves from the vehicle, they realize they’re in the land of OZ. Naturally, ... Читать далее...
23. When white man found this land, Indians were running itWhen white man found this land, Indians were running it. There were: — No Taxes — No Debt — Plenty buffalo — Plenty beaver — Medicine man free — Women did all the work — Men hunted and fished all the time The white man was dumb enough to think he could improve on that ... Читать далее...
24. In the land of OzFormer Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the House Gingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in a car together in Kansas. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. They all fall into a daze. When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they ... Читать далее...
25. One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume partyOne year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were. When one couple arrived he announced «Mickey and Minnie Mouse». As the next couple arrived he announced «Tarzan and Jane» and so on as each guest arrived. ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы by the skin of one’s teeth[by the skin of one’s teeth] {adv. phr.} By a narrow margin; with no room to spare; barely. The drowning man struggled, and I got him to land by the skin of my teeth. She passed English by the skin of her teeth. Compare: SQUEAK THROUGH, WITHIN AN ACE OF or WITHIN AN INCH OF....
27. Значение идиомы tooth[tooth] See: BY THE SKIN OF ONE’S TEETH, CUT TEETH or CUT EYETEETH, EYE FOR AN EYE AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH, FED TO THE GILLS or FED TO THETEETH, GET ONE’S TEETH INTO or SINK ONE’S TEETH INTO, KICK IN THEPANTS or KICK IN THE TEETH, PULL ONE’S TEETH, SET ONE’S TEETH ON ... Читать далее...
28. Proffessional TermsThe pro quarterback was petitioning the court to have his recent marriage annulled. «On what grounds?» questioned the Judge, «This court does not take annulments lightly.» «Non-virginity,» replied the quarterback, «When I married her, I thought I was getting a tight end, but instead, I found that I had married a wide receiver.»...
29. Costa Rica’s «Land Of The Strays» Is Pretty Much Paradise For Dog LoversImagine a place where the sun shines year-round, the average annual temperature is 73°, and more than 900 dogs with breed names like «Chubby-Tailed German Dobernauzer» and «Fire-Tailed Border Cocker» roam free across the lush landscape. Sound like Heaven? Well believe it or not, it exists right here on earth! Territorio de Zaguates, or «Land ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова grant-in-aidGrant-in-aid — дотация, субсидия Перевод слова Grant-in-aid system — система субсидий grant-in-aid for scientific research — предоставление гранта для проведения научных исследований We receive Grant-in-aid to cover our basic running costs. Мы получили финансовую помощь для покрытия наших основных эксплуатационных затрат. The Grant-in-aid to individual museums is no longer earmarked. Гранты для частных музеев больше ... Читать далее...
31. Перевод слова divorceDivorce — развод, расторжение брака Перевод слова Divorce by proxy — развод по доверенности to file for divorce — подавать на развод a divorce proceedings — бракоразводный процесс It is difficult to Divorce sport from politics. Трудно отделять спорт от политики. Their marriage ended in Divorce. Их брак закончился разводом. This famous actress has been ... Читать далее...
32. Joint sentenceA man was taken to court for stealing an item from a store. The man said to the judge, «Your Honor, I’m a Christian. I’ve become a new man. But I have and old nature also. It was not my new man who did wrong. It was my old man.» The judge responded, «Since it ... Читать далее...
33. Baby bear wants to live somewhere elseThe three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы on trial[on trial] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. For testing or trying out for atime before making a decision. I was lucky that I had bought themachine on trial because I didn’t like it and was able to return it. Mother bought a new dishwasher on trial and was trying it outbefore deciding whether to keep ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод слова statementStatement — заявление, утверждение, высказывание Перевод слова Categoric statement — категорическое утверждение formal statement — официальное заявление an admirable statement of the case — великолепное изложение дела That Statement is not factual. Это утверждение не соответствует действительности His Statement agrees with facts. Его заявление соответствует фактам. I’d like to qualify your Statement. Я хотел бы ... Читать далее...
36. Lawyers on a juryA trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with ... Читать далее...
37. One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lostOne day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle, killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly a ... Читать далее...
38. Stupid people stories 02Stupid people DEADHEADS A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be counted. The judged ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify. THIS WOULD BE ME The judge called the ... Читать далее...
39. Humor about the IrishmenThere is a story about the Irishman who drowned while he was digging a grave for a friend. He’d wanted to be buried at sea. «Well, Mrs. O’Connor, so you want a divorce?» the solicitor questioned his client. «Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?» «Oh, no,» replied Mrs. O’Connor. «Shure now, we ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы cut teeth[cut teeth] {v. phr.} 1. To have teeth grow out through the gums. The baby was cross because he was cutting teeth. 2. or [cut eye teeth] {informal} To learn something very early in life; gain experience; start by learning or doing. — Used with a possessive, usually used with «on». The professional ball player ... Читать далее...