It seems that Ken Starr is dropping all sexual allegations

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1. In light of the latest allegations against President Clinton In light of the latest allegations against President Clinton, Woodward and Bernstein of Watergate fame are in negotiations with publishers to write a new book about the scandal. Working title: “All the President’s Women.”...
2. Being Cautious or Thrill-Seeking Paula: Did you get an invitation to Kip and Sheri’s wedding? Robert: Yeah, I did. I’m still trying To wrap my head around the two of them getting married. Never in my wildest dreams would I put those two together. It Boggles my mind that they’re In the least compatible. Paula: What do you mean? […]...
3. Значение идиомы inch [inch] See: BY INCHES, EVERY INCH, GIVE ONE AN INCH AND HE WILLTAKE A MILE, WITHIN AN ACE OF or WITHIN AN INCH OF, WITHIN AN INCH OFONE’S LIFE....
4. Being Physically Strong Takeshi: What do you want me to do with this Piano? Paula: I want you to move it from the living room to the family room. You’re As strong as an ox and that’s why I called you for help. Takeshi: Lucky me. I don’t think I can move that piano by myself, though. Paula: […]...
5. President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton’s ear. All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, “Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!”. She looks surprised but leaves. The pitcher looks […]...
6. Перевод слова nose Nose – нос, чутье, нюх Перевод слова A dog with a good nose – собака с хорошим чутьем to have a nose for news – умение выведать все, что случилось to blow one’s nose – сморкаться nose drops – капли от насморка His Nose is very long. У него очень длинный нос. He scrunched his […]...
7. Значение идиомы give one an inch, and he will take a mile [give one an inch, and he will take a mile] If you give some peoplea little or yield anything, they will want more and more; some peopleare never satisfied. I gave Billy a bite of candy and he wantedmore and more. If you give him an inch, he’ll take a mile. Thecounselor said to Jack, […]...
8. Candidate Clinton vs President Clinton Candidate Bill Clinton: Cut taxes for middle class President Bill Clinton: Wants to raise them Candidate Bill Clinton: Vowed not to tamper with Social Security President Bill Clinton: Wants to tax more SS benefits Candidate Bill Clinton: Proposed energy tax cuts President Bill Clinton: Wants energy tax increases Candidate Bill Clinton: Claimed he had the […]...
9. Перевод слова inch Inch – дюйм, высота Перевод слова A man of inches – мужчина высокого роста square inch – квадратный дюйм inch by inch – мало-помалу, понемногу Caleb’s face fell a full Inch. Лицо Калеба вытянулось на целый дюйм. We Inched along in heavy traffic. Мы медленно двигались в плотном автомобильном потоке. Give him an Inch and […]...
10. Made in Canada President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: Our largest condom factory has exploded!” the American President cried, “My people’s favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!” “Bill, da Canadian pipple would be ‘appy to do anyt’ing wit’in der power to ‘elp you,” replied the Prime Minister. “I do need your help,” […]...
11. Seeing a Circus Performance Paula: Ta-da! We’re here. This is your big surprise. Roman: We’re going to the Circus? Paula: You Got it in one! It’s going to be great. There’ll be Clowns and Acrobats, Trapeze artists and Lion tamers. Roman: I haven’t been to the circus since I was a kid. Paula: That’s the point. I thought this […]...
12. Значение идиомы nose [nose] See: COUNT HEADS or COUNT NOSES, CUT OFF ONE’S NOSE TO SPITEONE’S FACE, FOLLOW ONE’S NOSE, GO INTO A TAIL SPIN or GO INTO A NOSEDIVE, HARD-NOSED, KEEP ONE’S NOSE CLEAN, KEEP ONE’S NOSE TO THEGRINDSTONE, LEAD BY THE NOSE, LOOK DOWN ONE’S NOSE AT, ON THE NOSE, PAY THROUGH THE NOSE, PUT ONE’S […]...
13. What kind of a woman “Would you sleep with me for ten thousand dollars?” asked John “Yes, I will.” Paula replied. “Would you do it for one thousand?” he asked. “Well maybe, or maybe I’d do something else for you.” she answered with a wink. “How about a blowjob for $20?” responded John. “Hey! What kind of women do you […]...
14. Taking Prescription Drugs Paula: Okay, I’m off to bed. Marcus: Wait a second. Where are you going with all of those Pill bottles? Paula: My doctor Prescribed a couple of Medications to help me sleep. Marcus: Let me see those. You have four different medications here. This is a Painkiller, this is a Sedative, this is a Tranquilizer, […]...
15. In the land of Oz Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the House Gingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in a car together in Kansas. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. They all fall into a daze. When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they […]...
16. Dropping Out of College Aaron: Mom, I have something to tell you and you’re not going to like it. Margo: What is it? Aaron: I’m Dropping out of college. I want to get out into The real world and get a job. I’m wasting time in school. Margo: You’ll get a better job if you stay in school and […]...
17. Save the country A woman shows up at the white house in a trench coat and scarf and says, “I received your emergency phone call, Mrs. Clinton, and came right away, but what could “I” possibly do to save the country?” Mrs. Clinton: “Come inside and let me explain, Mrs. Bobbit…”...
18. President Clinton, returning from a campaign stop President Clinton, returning from a campaign stop in Arkansas, is climbing the steps to board Air Force One. Under each arm he is carrying a souvenir of his trip – a live razorback. At the top of the jetway, he is met by the guard, a Marine sergeant, who issues a crisp salute. “I’d salute […]...
19. Clinton country A guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV go’s on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells, “There’s a horses ass” A guy gets up and punches him.. And the man left.. Then when Hilary Clinton came on he said […]...
20. Moving in Together My girlfriend and I have been Going out for a year and I thought it was time to have a Heart-to-heart with her. Simon: I have something I want to talk to you about. Can you come over here and sit down for a minute? Paula: Uh oh. Is something wrong? Simon: No, nothing’s wrong. […]...
21. Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, “Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner.” “What did it say on the banners?” Clinton asks. Saddam replies, “Allah is god, god is Allah.” Clinton says, “You know, Saddam, I […]...
22. The company president called the chief security guard The company president called the chief security guard into his office. “Chuck, we’ve received a complaint from one of the employees that you are making obscene sexual comments and putting your hands where they don’t belong. These unwanted advances will have to stop.” Chuck looked down at his feet and mumbled, “I’m sorry, Sir. I […]...
23. Clinton is in Heaven President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. “Who goes there?” inquired St. Peter. “It’s me, Bill Clinton”. “What bad things did you do on earth?” Clinton thought a bit and answered, “Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn’t hold that against me because I didn’t inhale. And I lied, but I didn’t commit […]...
24. Recovering from an Illness or Injury Julio: Hi, Aunt Louisa, it’s Julio. Paula: …And Paula. I’m on the Extension in the kitchen. Julio: Anyway, we just wanted to call and wish you a Speedy recovery. Get plenty of Bed rest and Take it easy. Avoid Greasy or Spicy foods and drink lots of liquids. You don’t want to become Dehydrated. Paula: […]...
25. An unfortunate coincidence One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem–my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell […]...
26. A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked: “I don’t want to complain, but I think those […]...
27. Having a Wild Party Paula: Okay, let’s get this party started! Mitch: I really don’t think having a party is such a good idea. We’re supposed to be House-sitting, and I’m sure the Abrams wouldn’t want their house used for a big Blowout. Paula: Ignorance is bliss. They’ll never know. Stop being such a Goody two-shoes and help me […]...
28. One day Clinton goes to the bathroom One day Clinton goes to the bathroom, pulls down his pants, and much to his amazement, he finds a red ring around his penis. So the next day he goes to his physician and the doctor says, “I cant figure out what it is. So I’ll give you some medicine, and if it doesn’t work, […]...
29. Acronyms for Clinton Clinton: (C)razed (L)ow-class (I)diot (N)ow (T)aking (O)ver (N)ation Clinton: (C)razy (L)iberal (I)ntent (O)n (N)eedlessly (T)rashing (O)ur (N)ation Clinton: (C)learly (L)oose (I)nternal (N)avigation (T)echniques (O)ccupy (N)ever-Neverland Clinton: (C)ompulsive (L)iar (I)s (N)ation’s (T)op (O)fficial (N)ow Clinton: (C)omplete (L)oser (I)n (N)ow (T)errorizing (O)ur (N)ation Hillary: (H)ighly (I)nexperienced (L)eft-liberal (A)cademic (R)ighteous (Y)uppies Gore: (G)ennifer’s (O)nly (R)emaining (E)nterprise Gore: (G)reatly […]...
30. The Hillary’s room President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary’s room. She complains that it’s the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes, Mr. President–I’ll remove the mirrors right away....
31. Значение идиомы steal one’s thunder [steal one’s thunder] {v. phr.} To do or say something, intentionally or not, that another person has planned to say or do. Fred intended to nominate Bill for president, but John got up firstand stole Fred’s thunder. Mary was going to sing “Oh! Susanna,”but Ellen did it first and Mary said Ellen had stolen her […]...
32. Giving Birth to Twins Jerome: Congratulations! I just heard that you’re Pregnant with Twins. Paula: Thanks. We’re very excited, although I’m a little worried about a Multiple birth. Jerome: I Come from a long line of multiple births. My father is an Identical twin and he had cousins who are Fraternal twins. Paula: I see what you mean. Jerome: […]...
33. Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. “What’s the story this time, Jones?” he asked sarcastically. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.” Jones sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the […]...
34. Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a whisky & soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like drink. The minister replied […]...
35. Business one-liners 01 A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country. A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense. A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work. A bird in the bush usually […]...
36. A visiting conventioneer from Saskatchewan walked A visiting conventioneer from Saskatchewan walked into a bar in Greenwich Village and sat next to a rather attractive woman. “Hi,” he said, “I’m new in town. Can I buy you a drink?” “Get lost,” she remarked, “I am Lesbian.” “Oh, really?” he asked, “How are things in Beiruit?”...
37. THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT CONSENT FORM Name:______________________________ SOCIAL SECURITY No:____________________ ADDRESS:___________________________ CITY:__________________________________ STAFF ELEMENT:_____________________ HOME PHONE No.:________________________ MALE:___________ FEMALE:___________ OFFICE PHONE No.:______________________ SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Male – Female Female – Female Male – Male All of the Above None of the Above – Please Specify: _____________________ I CONSENT TO THE FOLLOWING FORMS OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT: Salutatory Greeting: _____________________ Eye-to-Eye Contact: ______________________ Eye-to-Bust […]...
38. Sensormatic Is everyone out in net land familiar with Sensormatic? They are the company that make the large plastic clips that set off alarms when you exit a department store. I used to work for a department store and the is what we did. Open up the clip and remove the shiny piece of paper. It […]...
39. A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night. He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self concious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance. “Would you […]...
40. Helping this country One night, Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington’s ghost in the White House. Clinton saw him and asked, “George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?” “Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,” advised George. The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the […]...