It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency

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1. The golf course A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole, and you’re a hole behind me, so you […]...
2. A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, “Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don’t do wonders […]...
3. A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn’t usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help. As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, “You know, you […]...
4. A bus stops and two Italian men get on A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two […]...
5. A bus conversation A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men saying the following; “Emma come first. Denna I come. Two asses, they come together. I come […]...
6. Перевод слова widow Widow – вдова Перевод слова To console a widow – утешать вдову opulent widow – богатая вдова widow’s allowance – вдовье пособие war widow – вдова убитого на войне He tried to hook a well-off Widow. Он пытался подцепить какую-нибудь состоятельную вдову. The war Widowed many women in the former Yugoslavia Война оставила вдовами многих […]...
7. Two confirmed bachelors sat talking Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said the first, “but I could never do anything with it.” “Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?” asked the second. “You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way – ‘Take a clean dish […]...
8. Перевод слова ditch Ditch – канава, ров; бросать, оставлять Перевод слова Deep ditch – глубокая канава irrigation ditch – ороситель, оросительный канал to ditch rice fields – осушать рисовые поля he’s ditched his girlfriend – он бросил свою девушку They Ditched the car in a vacant lot. Они бросили машину на пустыре. Meg and Neil were due to […]...
9. This young lady, a flighty young thing This young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare […]...
10. Card games A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why had she left her previous employment, she replied, “Yes, sir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked. Last night they played a game called Bridge and a lot of folks were there. As I was about […]...
11. What is intelligence Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, “Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?” “I don’t know,” responded the other. “I’ll ask him.” So he climbed out of the hole […]...
12. Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, “Boy, business sucks. If I don’t sell more cars this month, I’m going to lose my fucking arse.” Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately, he apologized for his bad language. “That’s okay,” the blonde replied, “If […]...
13. Political Advertising Hilary: The Election is still two months away and I’m already Sick of the Political ads. Look at these Flyers we got in the mail just today, not to mention the Canvassers ringing our Doorbell nonstop! Bill: It’s worse if you watch TV, with Attack ad after attack ad. It’s gotten completely Out of hand. […]...
14. An old lady lived by herself in a small house An old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he […]...
15. Two Irishmen were digging a ditch directly across from a brothel Two Irishmen were digging a ditch directly across from a brothel. Suddenly, they saw a rabbi walk up to the front door, glance around and duck inside. “Ah, will you look at that?” One ditch digger said. “What’s our world comin’ to when men of th’ cloth are visitin’ such places?” A short time later, […]...
16. Значение идиомы spin out [spin out] {v. phr.} 1. To go out of control. The bus spun outon the icy road and fell into the ditch. 2. To make something go outof control. Tom stepped on the brakes so fast that he spun his carout of control and went off the road....
17. A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. “No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said to himself. He proceeded to get […]...
18. A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. “No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said to himself. He proceeded to […]...
19. Перевод слова hall Hall – зал, холл Перевод слова Concert hall – концертный зал dance hall – дансинг, танцевальный зал music hall – мюзик-холл lecture hall – конференц-зал, аудитория The Hall was half-empty. Зал был наполовину пуст. This Hall will seat 5000. В этом зале 5000 мест. He stopped amidmost of the Hall. Он остановился посреди зала....
20. Перевод слова conversation Conversation – разговор, беседа Перевод слова Conversation classes – занятия по разговорной практике to hold conversation – вести беседу, разговаривать heart-to-heart conversation – разговор по душам Do you remember our Conversation about that new movie? Вы помните наш разговор о новом фильме? We had a Conversation by e-mail. У нас был разговор по электронной почте. […]...
21. Three different kinds of sex Did you know that once you get married, you can look forward to three different kinds of sex? First, there’s House Sex: That’s when you make love all over the house: on the floor, on the kitchen table, in the garage, anywhere, anytime – much like two crazed rabbits. Then comes Bedroom Sex: That’s when […]...
22. A young minister, in the first days of his first parish A young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was obliged to call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had just died. Standing before the open casket and consoling the widow, he said, “I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Vernon. But we must remember that what we […]...
23. Tombstone Epitaph VI A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery: Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes who died January 3, 1803. His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted....
24. A little boy and his dad are standing in line A little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, “hey dad, look how fat that lady is!” “Shhhh, quiet son, she’ll hear you.” “But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!” “Shhhhhh, don’t say that son, it’s not nice!” […]...
25. Значение идиомы last-ditch [last-ditch] {adj.} Made or done as a last chance to keep fromlosing or tailing. He threw away his cigarettes in a last-ditcheffort to stop smoking. Compare: BACK TO THE WALL....
26. The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that Yugoslavian air defenses had shot down a NATO F-16 just after nightfall while the jet was on a bombing run. The plane crashed into an empty field, creating a huge crater. Serbian search and rescue workers have recovered 307 bodies so far, proving that NATO is using Albanian […]...
27. Значение идиомы put one’s house in order [put one’s house in order] or [set one’s house in order] {v. phr.}To arrange your affairs in good order. Grandfather knew he wouldnot live long and set his house in order. When Mr. Black died, hislawyer helped the widow put her house in order....
28. Значение идиомы lady of the house [lady of the house] {n. phr.} Female owner, or wife of the owner, of the house; the hostess. “Dinner is served,” the lady of thehouse announced to her guests....
29. First grade romance An honest 7-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. “How did that happen?” gasped her mother. “It wasn’t easy,” admitted her daughter, “but three girls helped me catch him....
30. Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off. He is killed instantaneously. After the ambulance leaves with Steve’s body, Bob and Jeff realize they’ll have to inform his wife. Bob says he’s good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job. After two […]...
31. Перевод идиомы last-ditch effort, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: last-ditch effort Перевод: последняя попытка, последнее усилие Пример: The government made a last-ditch effort to prevent a strike by the teachers. Правительство сделало последнюю попытку предотвратить забастовку учителей....
32. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “В турагентстве. Выбор отеля” (At the travel agency. Choosing a hotel) – Good morning! Come in, please, and make yourself comfortable. – Good morning! I saw your advertisement and I would like to choose a tour for the end of September. – Yes, we can offer you tours to any country of the world. – What can you recommend me? – Are you going by yourself? […]...
33. Перевод сленгового выражения road rage, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: road rage Перевод: злость, раздражение на других участников движения во время пробок, заторов; споры, оскорбления между автомобилистами Пример: That lady tried to run me off the road! She must have a bad case of road rage. Эта дамочка пыталась вытеснить меня с дороги. Наверное, она сильно бесится за рулем. The police blamed road […]...
34. Значение идиомы road [road] See: ALL ROADS LEAD TO ROME, BURN UP THE ROAD, END OF THEROAD, GET THE SHOW ON THE ROAD, HIT THE ROAD, HUG THE ROAD, MIDDLE OFTHE ROAD, ON THE ROAD....
35. Passing a parrot A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same […]...
36. Criminal steals lumber A man with a nagging secret couldn’t keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked. “What did you take?” his priest asked. “Enough to build my own house and enough for my son’s house. And houses for our two […]...
37. Значение идиомы keep house [keep house ] {v. phr.} To do the necessary things in ahousehold; do the cooking and cleaning. Since their mother died, Mary and her brother keep house for their father....
38. “Реклама на телевидении” (Television advertising) Everything we eat, wear or use is often dictated to us through commercial advertising. One of the most powerful forms of advertising is television. It provides an excellent chance for companies to promote and sell their products. It is an easy and effective way to let people from all over the world know about certain […]...
39. Перевод слова lady Lady – леди, женщина Перевод слова Great lady – знатная дама you’ve dropped your gloves, lady! – женщина, вы обронили перчатки! foxy lady – соблазнительная женщина your good lady – ваша супруга Shall we rejoin the Ladies? Не вернуться ли нам к дамам? She’s swell, a real Lady. Она одевается стильно, как настоящая леди. Don’t […]...
40. Перевод слова agency Agency – агентство Перевод слова News agency – информационное агентство travel agency – бюро путешествий placement agency – агентство по найму An Agency is managing the let. Агентство управляет сдачей помещений внаем. Environmental Protection Agency Управление по охране окружающей среды (в США) The Agency is answerable to the governor. Агентство отвечает перед губернатором....