Iraqi TV Guide

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1. Q & A Iraqi War Jokes Q: What’s the national bird of Iraq? A: DUCK! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Q: What’s the fastest way to […]...
2. Iraqi vs. American Average Iraqi Has visited the convergence of the Tigris and Euphrates, cradle of the ancient civilization founded by his ancestors Average American Once got really sick on the Wild Mouse ride at Six Flags theme park Average Iraqi Willing to participate in Holy War for his nation Average American Willing to participate in People’s Choice […]...
3. Перевод слова Monday Monday – Понедельник Перевод слова On Monday – в понедельник Monday feeling – нежелание работать (после воскресенья) Black Monday – первый день занятий после каникул from Monday through Friday – с понедельника по пятницу Monday is awkward for me. Мне неудобен понедельник. Tuesday always follows Monday. Вторник всегда следует за понедельником. I’ll give you a […]...
4. Упражнения “Дни недели” (с ответами) 1. Расставьте буквы по порядку, чтобы получились дни недели. T Y D U S A E D S A A U Y T R R U T S H A Y D D E S D N W E Y A N O M A Y D 2. Вставьте пропущенные буквы. We…nesd…y 5. Fr…day S…nday […]...
5. Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, “Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner.” “What did it say on the banners?” Clinton asks. Saddam replies, “Allah is god, god is Allah.” Clinton says, “You know, Saddam, I […]...
6. Перевод слова Thursday Thursday – Четверг Перевод слова He comes every Thursday – он приезжает каждый четверг see you Thursday – увидимся в четверг Holy Thursday – великий четверг (четверг на страстной неделе) We bowl every Thursday. Каждый четверг мы играли в боулинг. He was late last Thursday. Он опоздал в прошлый четверг. Your car will be serviced […]...
7. Drink fault-finding guide A solution to all of your drinking troubles Symptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is wet. Fault: Mouth not open or glass being applied to wrong part of face. Solution: Buy another pint and practice in front of a mirror. Continue with as many pints as necessary until drinking technique is […]...
8. Instrument Flying guide for Animal Lovers Having detailed the concept of attitude control, there is another method which you may prefer. For reasons that will become apparent, it is recommended for those pilots whose airplanes have large, easily cleaned cabins. Known as the “Cat and Duck Method” of instrument flight, it has received much publicity and is considered to have a […]...
9. A Guide to the Identification and Classification of North American Farts Learning – or better still, thinking up – names for fart types is a traditional early-adolescent ritual. Similarly, methods of identifying the source of a fart are a subject of peer-group, or tribal, speculation, the usual rule of thumb being “Who smelled it, dealt it,” or “The smeller’s the feller.” Occasionally, this oral tradition has […]...
10. An Overview Guide to Leather Grades In the world of heritage/reproduction products with a focus on quality and sustainability, leather is right up there as one of the most commonly seen materials. Brands like Tanner Goods and Corter Leather champion hand-made goods that should last years and years. However, anyone looking to buy should be aware of what they’re paying for […]...
11. Jon starts working in a lumber camp Jon starts working in a lumber camp. The boss says, “We work twelve hours a day, we eat two meals a day, lights out at ten-thirty, and you can put your dick in the barrel over there for a blow job any day but Thursday.” Jon says, “Why not Thursday?” The boss says, “Because Thursday […]...
12. Значение идиомы shoot up [shoot up] {v.} 1. To grow quickly. Billy had always been asmall boy, but when he was thirteen years old he began to shoot up. 2. To arise suddenly. As we watched, flames shot up from the roofof the barn. 3. {informal} To shoot or shoot at recklessly; shoot andhurt badly. The cowboys got drunk […]...
13. Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don’t emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labs spokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass […]...
14. You’re not going to believe this! A woman got a problem with her closet door – it was felling every time a bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out every time when a bus passes by. “OK, I am gonna see what is going on, just close […]...
15. Totally messed up The following is an ad from a real-life newspaper which appeared four days in a row – the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake. MONDAY: For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P. M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him […]...
16. News from Washington WASHINGTON, DC – Frustrated by failed attempts to turn public support away from the president, congress today announced it would begin releasing completely fabricated documents and videotapes on Monday. Speaker Newt Gingrich addressed the press at the Capitol this morning. “We feel that with the release of all the documents from the Starr Inquisition, and […]...
17. Значение идиомы somebody up there loves hates me Somebody up there loves Hates me [somebody up there loves Hates me] {slang} An expression intimatingthat an unseen power in heaven, such as God, has been favorable orunfavorable to the one making the exclamation. Look at all themoney I won! I say somebody up there sure loves me! Look at allthe money I’ve lost! I […]...
18. Blind man and guide dog kicked off plane; passengers follow in support Usually airline passengers side with flight attendants when it comes to safety, but in the case of a US Airways flight Wednesday night, passengers rallied around a blind man and his guide dog and disembarked en masse. All 35 passengers on US Airways Flight 4384 walked off the plane after Albert Rizzi, a blind man […]...
19. Перевод слова shoot Shoot – стрелять, вести огонь, охотиться Перевод слова To shoot a bullet – выпустить пулю to shoot to kill – стрелять наверняка to shoot game – стрелять дичь Off, or I’ll Shoot. Уходи, или я выстрелю! One move and I’ll Shoot! Одно движение – и я стреляю! He Shot at the deer. Он выстрелил в […]...
20. It’s dark in here A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her Lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there […]...
21. Значение идиомы blue Monday [blue Monday] {n.} A Monday when you have to work after a happy weekend. It was blue Monday and John nodded sleepily over his books. Housewives sometimes wish they could sleep through blue Monday....
22. Scheduling a Meeting I needed to Schedule a meeting for the three Departments involved in a new project. I called each one to find a Date that Would work for all three of us. Bruno: So, Nicola, would the Day after tomorrow work for you? Nicola: No, I’ll be Out of the office all day. Could we Do […]...
23. The guide to wife translations The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need […]...
24. Texan’s guide to life Never squat with yer spurs on. There’s two theories to arguin’ with a woman; neither one works. Don’t worry about bitin’ off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think. If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around. Never […]...
25. Standardized Guide to the Bases Do you remember middle school/junior high/high school? If so, do you remember talking about ‘the bases’ with your friends? “Yeah man, at the dance, X and Y went behind the gym and they got to second base!” Well that was cool and all, but what the hell was second base? Tongue kissing? Up the shirt? […]...
26. A guide to Walking Tigers Tigers really are as big and poofy and soft as they look, and they purr like a freight train going by. You find this out by taking one for a walk. To take a tiger for a walk, you first need a tiger. Tigers fresh from the bush are not recommended for the inexperienced. What […]...
27. Значение идиомы skeleton in the closet [skeleton in the closet] {n. phr.} A shameful secret; someone orsomething kept hidden, especially by a family. The skeleton in ourfamily closet was Uncle Willie. No one mentioned him because he dranktoo much....
28. Значение идиомы know if one is coming or going [know if one is coming or going] or [know whether one is coming orgoing] {v. phr.} To feel able to think clearly; know what to do. – Usually used in the negative or with limiters. On Monday, the carbroke down; on Tuesday, Mother broke her arm; on Wednesday, thechildren all became ill with the mumps; […]...
29. Значение идиомы shoot off one’s mouth [shoot off one’s mouth] or [shoot off one’s face] {v. phr.},{slang} To give opinions without knowing all the facts; talk as if youknow everything. Tom has never been to Florida, but he’s alwaysshooting his mouth off about how superior Florida is to California. I want to study the problem before I shoot off my face. […]...
30. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Гид и турист (Guide And Tourist)” По-английски Перевод на русский Guide: Hello. How are you? I’m your guide. Would you like me to show you around? Гид: Здравствуй. Как дела? Я буду твоим гидом. Хочешь посмотреть со мной окрестности? Tourist: I’m fine, thank you. That’s nice, I’d love to. Турист: Все отлично, спасибо. Это хорошая идея, я с удовольствием. Guide: As […]...
31. A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier after having eaten a very expensive lunch at one of Beverly Hills most exclusive restaurants. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. […]...
32. A bartender was getting ready to close for the night A bartender was getting ready to close for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to the bartender, “This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!” The scared bartender pleads, “Don’t shoot, please! I’ll do as you say!” The robber yells, “Shut […]...
33. Перевод слова guide Guide – гид, экскурсовод; справочник; направлять, руководить Перевод слова Museum guide – музейный гид, экскурсовод to guide the state – руководить государством to guide the steps of smb. – направлять чьи-л. шаги postal guide – почтовый справочник The feelings are dangerous Guides. Чувства – опасные советчики. The stars will Guide us back. На обратном пути […]...
34. A brief guide around Russia – Россия: краткий гид Russia is the land of contrasts: geographically, economically, mentally, etc. And this fact attracts lots of tourists to our Motherland. So, I`d like to present a brief recommendation for visitors. Northwest Russia. Whether it`s for a night out, day trip or weekend away with family, Russian Northwest has a wealth of attractions to inspire you. […]...
35. Sport and healthy living guide Топик Спорт и здоровый образ жизни – руководство, рассказывает о важности соблюдения правил поддержания нашего здоровья в хорошем состоянии. Недаром говорится, что здоровье – “превыше всего” и каждый человек в ответе за собственное здоровье. Среди основных правил здорового образа жизни: регулярные физические упражнения, умеренность в еде и питье, разумное чередование труда и отдыха, хороший сон, […]...
36. Перевод слова black Black – черный Перевод слова Black cloth – черное сукно black races – черные расы on the black market – на черном рынке The ceiling Blackened. Потолок почернел. That’s a Black augury! Это дурное предзнаменование! He had a Black suit on. На нем был черный костюм. Примеры из жизни “Люди в черном” (Men in Black) […]...
37. A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, “help, help, I am having a heart attack”, the husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run […]...
38. Перевод идиомы skeleton in one’s closet, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: skeleton in one’s closet Перевод: скелет в шкафу; что-либо, о чем не хочется говорить Пример: I heard that the politician has a skeleton in his closet that he does not want to talk about. Я слышал, что у этого политика есть скелет в шкафу, о котором ему не хочется говорить....
39. Дни недели на английском языке. Названия дней недели по-английски По-русски По-английски Сокращенно Понедельник Monday [‘mʌndei] [‘mʌndi] M. Mon. Вторник Tuesday [‘t(j)u:zdei] [‘t(j)u:zdi] T. Tu. Tue. Tues. Среда Wednesday [‘wenzdei] [‘wenzdi] W. Wed. Четверг Thursday [‘θз:zdei] [‘θз:zdi] T. Th. Thu. Thur. Thurs. Пятница Friday [‘fraidei] [‘fraidi] F. Fri. Суббота Saturday [‘sætədei] [‘sætədi] S. Sat. Воскресенье Sunday [‘sʌndei] [‘sʌndi] S. Sun....
40. Значение идиомы get a black eye [get a black eye] {v. phr.} 1. To receive a dark ring around theeye after being hit by someone’s fist or an object. In thefistfight Tom got a black eye from Pete. Sue got a black eye whenshe ran into a tree. 2. To have one’s character denigrated. Ourfirm received a black eye because of […]...