In the back woods of Arkansas

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1. Значение идиомы crow before one is out of the woods [crow before one is out of the woods] {v. phr.} To be glad or brag before you are safe from danger or trouble. – Usually used in negative sentences, often as a proverb, “Don’t crow before you are out of the woods.” John thought his team would win because the game was almost over, but […]...
2. Значение идиомы take to the woods [take to the woods] {v. phr.}, {informal} To run away and hide. When John saw the girls coming, he took to the woods. Bob took tothe woods so he would not have to mow the grass. Compare: HEAD FORTHE HILLS....
3. Значение идиомы neck of the woods [neck of the woods] {n. phr.}, {informal} Part of the country;place; neighborhood; vicinity. We visited Illinois and Iowa lastsummer; in that neck of the woods the corn really grows tall. Wewere down in your neck of the woods last week....
4. Перевод идиомы out of the woods, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: out of the woods Идиома: out of the woods разг. Перевод: выйти из трудной ситуации, из затруднительного положения Пример: It is true that the economy is getting stronger, but we are not out of the woods yet. Экономика, действительно, улучшается, но трудности еще не закончились....
5. The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into another woods. Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand trap. All the while, he’d noticed that the club professional had been watching. “What club should […]...
6. Перевод слова lantern Lantern – фонарь Перевод слова To light a lantern – зажигать фонарь to shine a lantern on – посветить фонарем на battery-operated lantern – фонарь на батарейках This great Lantern of medicine became very rich. Этот человек был светилом в области медицины, и очень разбогател. The Lantern has no affixture but its own weight. У […]...
7. Значение идиомы babe in the woods [babe in the woods] {n. phr.} A person who is inexperienced or innocent in certain things. He is a good driver, but as a mechanich is just a babe in the woods. Compare: OVER ONE’S HEAD, BEYOND ONE’S DEPTH....
8. Перевод идиомы babe in the woods, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: babe in the woods Перевод: сущий младенец; неопытный, простодушный, или наивный человек Пример: As a painter Bill is fine, but he was a babe in the woods when it comes to writing songs or poetry. Художник из Билла отличный, но что касается написания песен или стихов, здесь он сущий младенец....
9. A Scottish lad and lass were sitting together on a heathery hill A Scottish lad and lass were sitting together on a heathery hill in the Highlands. They had been silent for a while; then the lass said, “A penny for your thoughts.” The lad was a bit abashed, but he finally said, “Well, I was thinkin’ how nice it would be if ye’d give me a […]...
10. Two blondes were walking through the woods Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said “These look like deer tracks.” The other said, “No, they look like moose tracks.” They argued and argued and were still arguing when the train hit them....
11. Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods on her way to visit her grandmother, when suddenly The Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree. “Ah-ha….,” The Big Bad Wolf said, “Now I’ve got you and I’m going to eat you! EAT! EAT! EAT!…” Little Red Riding Hood said angrily, “Damn it, […]...
12. Two men were walking through the woods when Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing no more than 50 feet in front of them. The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes, then began to furiously attempt to lace them up as the bear slowly approached them. The […]...
13. One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle, killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly a […]...
14. This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, “Where are you going?” He said, “I’m going to the doctor.” And she said, “Why? Are you sick?” “No,” he said. “I’m going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.” So his wife got up out […]...
15. Delivering a baby A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he […]...
16. A construction worker goes to the doctor and says A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, I’m constipated.” The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, “Lean over the table.” The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a baseball bat, and then sends him into the bathroom. He comes out a […]...
17. Pappy sees Elmer walking with a lantern and asks Pappy sees Elmer walking with a lantern and asks, “Where ya going boy?” The son smiled and replied, “I’m a-going courting Peggy-Sue.” The Father said, “When I went a-courtin’, I didn’t need me no dang lantern.” “Sure Pa, I know.” the boy said. “And look what you got!”...
18. Being Vague and Unfocused Thierry: I’m Pumped and ready to help paint the community center this weekend. What time are we supposed to get there in the morning? Bonnie: I’m not sure. Sophia was a little Vague about that. She told people To show up when they can Make it. Thierry: That doesn’t sound like an Auspicious start. How […]...
19. A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested, then suddenly a whiskey came along. Pizza thought:”Ok. I’ll let him pass, there’s no hurry. Two minutes later another whiskey comes by and pizza let him pass too, but two minutes later when the next one got there, pizza stoped him:”What’s going on out there?” […]...
20. A serious condition A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth for poker,” said […]...
21. Outsourcing Operations Bonnie: I wanted us to meet today to talk about ways to reduce our Overhead. One suggestion is for us to Outsource some of our operations. I’d like to hear what you think are the Pros and cons of doing that. Jean-Luc: I think that, In principle, it’s a good idea. It would save us […]...
22. Arkansas Governor Application First name:___________________Last name(if known):_______________________ Address (where you live): Mother’s name(list also relation, i. e., sister):__________________ Birthdate(yours):____________________ Father’s name (if known, if not, list two possible choices)______________ Color of neck: Light Red( ) Medium Red( ) Dark Red( ) No Neck( ) Year of pickup truck:____________ Do you have the following in your truck: Fuzzy Dice( […]...
23. Arkansas Mother Writes Her Son ARKANSAS MOTHER WRITES HER SON Dearest Redneck Son, I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you […]...
24. State of Arkansas Residency Application State of Arkansas Residency Application Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob (last) (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (Check appropriate box) Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Un-employed Spouse’s Name: Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister […]...
25. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
26. Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, “What is three times three?” “274,” was his reply. The doctor says to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?” “Tuesday,” replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, “Okay, […]...
27. A husband and wife are on a nudist beach A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the […]...
28. Перевод слова hurry Hurry – спешка, торопиться, подгонять Перевод слова To hurry home – торопиться домой don’t hurry – не торопись, не спеши to hurry the ending – ускорять конец in my hurry I forgot the keys – я в спешке забыл ключи She Hurried back to her desk. Она поспешила вернуться к своей парте. John Hurried off […]...
29. Значение идиомы hang out one’s shingle [hang out one’s shingle] {v. phr.}, {informal} To give publicnotice of the opening of an office, especially a doctor’s or lawyer’soffice, by putting up a small signboard. The young doctor hung outhis shingle and soon had a large practice....
30. An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lots of friends and family in his house. His wife had made him a surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where the cake was placed. Eagerly the doctor removed and looked down on the cake, and immediately burst into a crazed laughter, […]...
31. Play doctor Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was becoming routine and boring. “Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don’t you try playing doctor for an hour?” “Sounds great,” Steve replied, “but how do you make it last for an hour?” “Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for […]...
32. The homework schedule Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend […]...
33. Two Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expedition Two Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expedition, and by accident one was shot by the other. His worried companion got him out of the deep woods, into the car, and off to the nearest hospital. “Well, Doc,” he inquired anxiously, “is he going to make it?” “It’s tough,” said the doctor. “He’d […]...
34. A Flaky Friend Shawn: What’s the matter? You look like you’re about To blow your lid. Rick: Yeah, Let’s just say I’m not happy. Shawn: That’s Putting it lightly. What’s up? Rick: My friend Steve was supposed To come by Here after work to Give me a ride home. I Lent him my car so he could take […]...
35. A stuttering problem A man visits the doctor’s because he has a severe stuttering problem. After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient. Doctor: ‘It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it is thus pulling on your vocal cords, and thereby causing you this […]...
36. An effective contraceptive After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double-wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn’t want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called […]...
37. Значение идиомы cart before the horse [cart before the horse ] {n. phr.}, {informal} Things in wrong order; something backwards or mixed up. – An overused expression. Usually used with “put” but sometimes with “get” or “have”. When the salesman wanted money for goods he hadn’t delivered, I told him he was putting the cart before the horse. To get married […]...
38. The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, “If you can read this you’re too damn close” embroidered on her panties and bra. “Yes Madame,” said the clerk. “I’m quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?” “Braille,” she replied....
39. An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, “So how has life been treating you?” The old man replies,”The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when […]...
40. My heart set A certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and he was advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to see the doctor, and the doctor said, “All right, let’s check you out. You sit down here on this stool. You put your right hand over your right eye and […]...