State of Arkansas Residency Application

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1. Arkansas Governor Application First name:___________________Last name(if known):_______________________ Address (where you live): Mother’s name(list also relation, i. e., sister):__________________ Birthdate(yours):____________________ Father’s name (if known, if not, list two possible choices)______________ Color of neck: Light Red( ) Medium Red( ) Dark Red( ) No Neck( ) Year of pickup truck:____________ Do you have the following in your truck: Fuzzy Dice( […]...
2. Application For Permission To Date My Daughter Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician. Name:______________________________________________________ Date of Birth:________________ Height:_____________________ Weight:______ IQ:___________________________ GPA:_____________ Social Security Number:_____ Driver’s License Number:______ Boy Scout Rank:_____________ Telephone:____________________ Home Address:______________________________________________ City:_______________________ State:________________________ Zip:_____________ 1.Do you have one male and one […]...
3. One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom. He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also […]...
4. Spice Girls Application Form Need a change? Here’s the Spice Girls Application Form Name: Age: Real Age: 1. How would you describe yourself? a. An energetic self starter b. A team player c. Pro-active d. A tasty bit of crumpet 2. Do you have any vestige of talent, besides your chest or butt? 3. Would it bother you if […]...
5. Thank you..thank you very much! Father O’Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the […]...
6. Homework One day, when Billy came home from school, his mom asked him how his day went. He said, “We’re learning about sexual education.” She smiled, and said, “At least he’s learning something usefull.” Billy went up to his room. A little later, Billy’s mom went up to his room to call him down to dinner. […]...
7. Arkansas Mother Writes Her Son ARKANSAS MOTHER WRITES HER SON Dearest Redneck Son, I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you […]...
8. Are You About to Employ a Robot? This test was written by ME, Roger Carasso, for the UCB Psychology Department. It is intended to be used by companies that are recruiting on campus. With this test you can determine whether an applicant you are interviewing is a Robot, a Vulcan/Math MAjor, or a Liberal Arts major. Tear off here, and administer test […]...
9. Перевод слова yellow Yellow – желтый, золотистый; трусливый Перевод слова Yellow jersey – желтая майка лидера yellow journalism – желтая пресса light yellow – бледно-желтый tiny tot with yellow hair – малыш с золотистыми волосами He has a Yellow streak in him. Он трусоват. Yellow leaves floated down. Желтые листья плыли вниз по течению. Yellow doesn’t suit me […]...
10. A man in a state of excessive inebriation A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary money. The booth operator at first refused to let him have a turn, considering that his inebriated state would endanger the public. But the drunk insisted and was given a gun. He aimed unsteadily […]...
11. Перевод слова globe Globe – шар, сфера, планета (Земля) Перевод слова Solid globe – твердый шар to vanish from the surface of the globe – исчезнуть с лица земли all over the globe – по всему свету, во всем мире Drake circled the Globe. Дрейк объехал вокруг земного шара. Well! that caps the Globe. Да ну! Такого еще […]...
12. Перевод слова yard Yard – ярд; двор Перевод слова To sell by the yard – продавать на ярды (ткань и т. п.) all over the yard – по всему двору poultry yard – птичий двор The dog ran loose in the Yard. Собака свободно бегала по двору. The kids built a snowman in the front Yard. Дети слепили […]...
13. Billy was 14 and just started jerkin off Billy was 14 and just started jerkin off. He loved to jerk off. However, one day, his dad walked in on him while he was jerkin off! Billy was so embarrassed. He pulled up his pants as quick as he could. But, his dad already seen him. “Billy,” said his dad, “doing that will make […]...
14. In the back woods of Arkansas In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” […]...
15. UK Newspapers Топик Британские газеты рассказывает о двух категориях газет в Англии: есть “серьезные” национальные газеты и есть “популярные”. Газеты первой группы освещают национальные и международные новости, финансовые данные по промышленности и торговле в стране и в мире, репортажи о социальной жизни, искусстве, образовании и спорте. А популярные газеты ориентируются больше на сенсационные материалы и на ежедневные […]...
16. Значение идиомы here and there [here and there] {adv. phr.} 1. In one place and then in another. I looked here and there for my pen, but I didn’t look everywhere. Here and there in the yard little yellow flowers had sprung up. 2.In various directions. We went here and there looking for berries. Compare: HITHER AND THITHER....
17. APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can […]...
18. Family sex TO MY DEAR WIFE, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The followingis a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too […]...
19. Millennia Year Application Software System This memo is to announce the development of a new firm-wide software system. We are currently building a data center that will contain all firm data that is Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as the “Millennia Year Application Software System” (MYASS). Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting in which […]...
20. Значение идиомы go into [go into] {v.} 1a. To go or fit inside of; able to be put in. The table is too big to go into the closet. 1b. To be able to bedivided into; be divisible into. Two goes into four two times. 2.To enter a state or condition of; pass into. John went into a fitof […]...
21. Значение идиомы globe-trotter [globe-trotter] {n.} One who has travelled far and wide. Tim andNancy are regular globe-trotters; there are few countries they haven’tbeen to....
22. On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight. When they were finished, Billy-Bob decided he […]...
23. French guy in England French guy went for a job interview In England. He was told that he must compose a sentence in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow. His answer was: “I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone “green green”, I “pink” up the phone and I say “Yellow” Юмор в том, […]...
24. Перевод слова check Check – проверять, сверять Перевод слова To check for errors – корректировать, исправлять to check an instrument – выверять прибор check ballot – проверочное голосование Hey, Check out that car! Эй, зацени, ту машину! Does his story Check out? Его рассказ подтверждается? Check your spelling and grammar. Проверьте орфографию и грамматику. Примеры из жизни На […]...
25. California Jokes California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Dumb California Laws Sunshine […]...
26. A state-of-the-art watch A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies,”I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just […]...
27. A state trooper pulled a car over A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone. “I was only going 40!” the driver protested. “Not according to my radar,” the trooper said. “Yes, I was!” the man shouted back. “No you weren’t!” the trooper said. With that, the […]...
28. California the Golden State – Калифорния Золотой штат California is the most populous state in the United States, and the third largest by land area, after Alaska and Texas. Its nickname is the Golden state and its motto is “Eureka!” which means “I have found it.” Whatever it is you’re looking for, you can surely find it here. More than 200 different languages […]...
29. A husband and wife were in their back yard A husband and wife were in their back yard, and he was noticing her expanding backside. He commented, “Boy, your ass is getting big. almost as big as the gas grill here.” She angrily stomped across the yard, and he followed saying, “Yep, that thing is getting huge.” At this, the wife retreated to the […]...
30. These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for nine years. One day Larry said to Joe, “You know man its been a long time since we had some sex so you oughta let me fuck you.” Joe replied. “Are you crazy?!!” Larry went on to say, “I promise you that it won’t hurt and […]...
31. A clear moral One day at the end of class little Billy’s teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell a story. Suzy said, “Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive […]...
32. Перевод слова application Application – просьба, заявление Перевод слова Written application – письменное заявление to send in an application – подать заявление to withdraw an application – забирать прошение Please fill out this Application. Пожалуйста, заполните данное приложение. My Application was lost in the post. Мое заявление было потеряно на почте. He sent in his job Application late. […]...
33. Checking on the Status of an Application Leo: Here’s the mail. Denise: Did I get anything? Leo: No, sorry. Are you expecting something? Denise: Yeah, I’m waiting for a Decision letter about my Application to the McQ program. I should Hear any day now. Leo: Have you thought about calling and Checking on the status? Denise: I called last week and my […]...
34. Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement at short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his chief of staff […]...
35. THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS. THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN “Members of Congress…People of America….I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven’t been paying attention. The only babes in D. C. I haven’t tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, […]...
36. Значение идиомы jump down one’s throat [jump down one’s throat] {v. phr.} To suddenly become very angry atsomeone; scold severely or angrily. The teacher jumped down Billy’sthroat when Billy said he did not do his homework....
37. The Hazards of Kicking the Cat The Hazards of Kicking the Cat There was a little boy with a bad attitude. He was at home one day doing his chores. He was feeding the chickens and he got mad and kicked one across the yard. He was feeding the hogs and got mad and kicked the hell out of one of […]...
38. CHECK THE BUFFETT! In a Texas bar, The bartender Fred was fed up with penis boasting from the regulars. So to put an end to all the boasting Fred says to them “whip ’em out”.Fred pulls a yard stick from under the bar, at the same time a gay guy walks into the bar. Fred ask the man […]...
39. Jones is driving past the state mental hospital Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for […]...
40. Значение идиомы give to understand [give to understand] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To make a personthink that something is true but not tell him; suggest; hint. Mr. Johnson gave Billy to understand that he would pay him if he helpedhim clean the yard. 2. To make a person understand by telling himvery plainly or boldly. Frank was given to understand […]...