How Shit Happens
In the Beginning was The Plan And then came the Assumptions And the Assumptions were without form And the Plan was completely without substance And the darkness was upon the face of the Workers And the Workers spoke amongst themselves, saying “It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh.” And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and sayeth, “It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odor thereof.” And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them, “It is a container of excrement and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it.” And the Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth, “It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength.” And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying one to another, “It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong.” And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents and sayeth unto them, “It promotes growth and is very powerful.” And the Vice Presidents went unto the President and sayeth unto him, “This new Plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of this Company, and in these Areas in particular.” And the President looked upon The Plan, And saw that it was good, and The Plan became Policy. And this is how Shit Happens.
Related topics:
- Перевод сленгового выражения the shit hits the fan, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: the shit hits the fan Сленговое выражение: the shit hits the fan груб. Перевод: разразится большой скандал; дело примет плохой оборот; запахнет жареным Пример: It was a good party until Ed started a fight. Then the shit hit the fan! Вечеринка была хорошей, пока Эд не начал драку. Тогда все понеслось! If Dad […]...
- Значение идиомы bad shit [bad shit] {n.}, {vulgar}, {avoidable} An unpleasant event or situation, such as a long lasting and unsettled quarrel or recurring acts of vengeance preventing two people or two groups from reaching any kind of reconciliation. There is so much bad shit between the two gangs that I bet there will he more killings this year. […]...
- Перевод сленгового выражения bullshit a bullshitter / shit a shitter, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: bullshit a bullshitter / shit a shitter Сленговое выражение: bullshit a bullshitter / shit a shitter груб. Перевод: обманывать обманщика, лгать лжецу, врать вруну, и т. п.; обычно используется в отрицательных повелительных предложениях, например “Don’t bullshit a bullshitter”, “Never bullshit a bullshitter”, “You can’t bullshit a bullshitter”, “Don’t try to bullshit a bullshitter”, […]...
- Значение идиомы abide by [abide by] {v.} To accept and obey; be willing to follow. A basketball player may know he did not foul, but he must abide by the referee’s decision. The members agree to abide by the rules of the club....
- Correcting Misunderstandings at Work I work in our company’s Toledo office and I was meeting with my Counterpart in our Raleigh office. I was trying to explain to her our new proposal to make some changes in the Corporate structure. But, it wasn’t going very well. Rory: So, with the new plan, the managers would Report directly to the […]...
- Перевод сленгового выражения take a dump / take a crap / take a poop / take a shit / take a squat, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: take a dump / take a crap / take a poop / take a shit / take a squat Сленговое выражение: take a dump / take a crap / take a poop / take a shit / take a squat груб. Перевод: сходить в туалет по большому Пример: Come on, find a rest […]...
- Understanding Corporate Structure Andrea: This Organizational chart is really confusing. Raffael: Why are you looking at that? Andrea: I have an interview next week and I’m trying To bone up on the company I’ll be interviewing with. I want to impress them, but this chart is really confusing. Raffael: Let me see. It’s a simple Flow chart. You […]...
- How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? A: We’ve formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder....
- American Corporate Culture – Американская корпоративная культура This corporate culture is also called Anglo-American. It appeared at the beginning of the 20th century before the Great Depression of 1920-1930. Now this kind of culture is spread widely in Americas, UK, in African countries and the Middle East. Anglo-American Corporate Culture is characterized with one lever of governance council. This very council also […]...
- Фразовый глагол abide by – перевод и значение, пример использования Фразовый глагол: abide by Перевод: твердо держаться, соблюдать (правила, закон, и т. п.) Пример: If you want to stay at this school, you must abide by the rules. Если ты хочешь остаться в этой школе, ты должен соблюдать правила....
- Перевод слова vice Vice – порок, зло, недостаток, дефект; заместитель Перевод слова Sunk in vice – погрязший в пороке vices of drawing – ошибки в рисунке vice chairman – вице-председатель He sank into Vice. Он погряз в пороке. Eating too much is my Vice. Обжорство – мой порок. He was nominated as Vice chairman. Он был назначен на […]...
- Перевод слова growth Growth – развитие, рост, распространение Перевод слова To attain full growth – достичь полного развития, зрелости economic growth – экономическое развитие the growth of education – распространение образования The goal is zero population Growth. Целью является нулевой рост населения. Warm weather encourages plant Growth. Теплая погода способствует росту растений. Caterpillars go through several stages of […]...
- Question answer 01 Where do religious school children practice sports? In the prayground! How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it! Why did the chicken get sent off? For persistent fowl play! Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game? It was a cup draw! Where […]...
- Shit shit [SIt] (417) дословно это: n – дерьмо; (v – гадить, но как глагол встреч. супер редко). В последнее время часто употребляется в книгах и сценариях, означая не только восклицание черт!, дерьмо!, но и любые дела, вопросы, проблемы, жизнь вообще и все, что угодно. Примечание: Не тянуть звук [I], иначе получится sheet [SJt]– простыня. Примечание: […]...
- A Bad Boss Tom: I wonder How much longer we’ll have to Put up with Dennis. He is the most Incompetent boss I’ve ever worked for. Katie: He’s not that bad, is he? I don’t have much Contact with Him. Tom: Are you Kidding? He’s always Sleeping on the job. The other day, he was supposed to Keep […]...
- Retire Aged Personell Early TO ALL MCCCD EMPLOYEES FROM GOVERNING BORED DATE 22 APR 1986 1. As a result of the HAYZE mismanagement study, we must drastically cut most salaries and reduce our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will go on early retirement, thus permitting management to focus its abuse on younger employees who represent our […]...
- NOTIFICATION TO ALL STAFF REGARDING LANGUAGE It has been brought to our attention that some individuals have been using foul language during the execution of their duties. Due to complaints from managers who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do realise, however, the importance of staff being able to properly express their feelings […]...
- Менеджмент/ Management Менеджмент Management Слово “Менеджмент” стало часто употребляться в сфере бизнеса. Хоть это и широкое понятие, но в целом, менеджмент означает организацию и координацию группы людей для направления их к реализации цели. Этот процесс может включать в себя манипуляцию различными ресурсами: людскими, финансовыми, природными, технологическими и т. д. Помимо организации лиц, менеджмент использует и другие функции, […]...
- Перевод слова vice versa Vice versa – наоборот, обратно Перевод слова I like her and Vice versa. Она мне нравится, и это взаимно. He calls black white and Vice versa. Он называет черное белым и наоборот. Every debit must have a corresponding credit and Vice-versa. К каждой записи по дебету должна существовать корреспондирующая запись по кредиту и наоборот....
- Значение идиомы white-collar workers [white-collar workers] {n. phr.} Workers employed in offices and atdesks as opposed to those who work as manual workers; the middleclass. It is a well-known fact that white-collar workers are lesswell organized than unionized manual workers. Contrast BLUE-COLLARWORKERS....
- Main Vice President Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!”. “Really?” […]...
- Unique job interviews Job Interview Quotations Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees. A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle. Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time. Candidate […]...
- Bathroom control One day Pablo and Paco are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Pablo smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around. He says “Hey Paco, you shit your pants?” Paco says “No, Pablo, I did not shit my pants.” He believes him and they keep riding. As they […]...
- Перевод слова strong Strong – сильный, крепкий, твердый Перевод слова Strong will – сильная воля strong constitution – крепкое здоровье strong denial – решительный отказ He’s as Strong as an ox. Он силен, как бык. He was a big Strong man. Он был большим и сильным человеком. Tact isn’t my Strong point. Тактичность не является моей отличительной чертой. […]...
- When the formal private briefing of the attractive new teacher When the formal private briefing of the attractive new teacher by the vice-principal was finished, the vice-principal took a few puffs on his pipe and said, “I have an informal piece of advice for you, Miss Bell. There’s only one way you can get along in this school without submitting to the sexual advances of […]...
- Two Italian construction workers Two Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one says to the other “hey how come we do all a da work and he gets all a da money?” pointing to the supervisor. The other says, “I don’t know, go ask him.” So Guido goes up to the […]...
- Перевод слова plan Plan – план; составлять план, проектировать Перевод слова Five-year plan – пятилетний план to plan a piece of work – спланировать какую-л. работу the school was planned for 500 pupils – школа была запроектирована на пятьсот учащихся He agreed to my Plan. Он принял мой план. The Plan worked out. План сработал. His Plan petered […]...
- Значение идиомы lay-away plan [lay-away plan] {n.} A plan for buying something that you can’t paycash for; a plan in which you pay some money down and pay a littlemore when you can, and the store holds the article until you have paidthe full price. She could not afford to pay for the coat all atonce, so she used […]...
- Holding Structured and Unstructured Meetings Diego: Okay, why don’t you Brief me on what you’ve planned for the meeting tomorrow? Maya: Sure. At the meeting of the managers tomorrow, we’ll begin with introductions. Since you’re the most Senior manager, the job Falls to you. Diego: I don’t think we need To stand on ceremony. Have Alexi do the introductions. Maya: […]...
- One day there was an indian chief who was constipated One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says “Big Chief, no shit”. the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chief should be fine tomorrow. The warrior went back to the chief and […]...
- How to Hunt Elephants – VP Style When the Vice President of R&D tries to hunt elephants, his staff will try to ensure that all elephants are completely prehunted before he sees them. If the VP sees a nonprehunted elephant, the staff will (1) Compliment the vice president’s keen eyesight and (2) enlarge itself to prevent any recurrence. Sent by Alex...
- Значение идиомы speak for [speak for] {v.} 1. To speak in favor of or in support of. Atthe meeting John spoke for the change in the rules. The othergirls made jokes about Jane, but Mary spoke for her. 2. To make arequest for; to ask for. The teacher was giving away some books. Fred and Charlie spoke for the […]...
- Japanese management lecture Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their way to an international business conference when they were kidnapped by terrorists and taken to a secret hideout. “You, your companies, and you countries are enemies of the Revolution,” screamed the terrorist leader, “and you’re going to be executed! Do […]...
- George W. Bush was passing through an airplane terminal George W. Bush was passing through an airplane terminal and he noticed an old man in a long white robe, with a long white beard, long white hair and carrying two stone tablets in his arms. He approached the man and asked, “Aren’t you Moses?” But the man wouldn’t listen to him and continued walking. […]...
- Значение идиомы plan on [plan on] {v.} 1. To have the plan of; have in mind. – Used with averbal noun. I plan on going to the movies after I finish myhomework. Mary was planning on seeing John at the baseball game. Syn.: FIGURE ON. 2. To think you will do or have; be sure about;expect. I’m hoping to […]...
- Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn’t working, so he bolts down to use the lobby Men’s Room, but all of the stalls are occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and in desperation, he drops his […]...
- Finding Emerging Markets Jamie: If our company is going to grow, we need to find Emerging markets. It makes sense To get a foothold in a few countries that may have Developed markets within the next 20 years. Nina: But there’s no Guarantee that Rapid growth in a country’s Economy now will be Sustainable years from now. I […]...
- Значение идиомы strikebreaker [strikebreaker] {n.} One who takes the place of workers on strikeor one who recruits such people. The striking workers threw rotteneggs at the strikebreakers....
- Planning a Company Retreat Sharon: So, Leo, how are the plans Coming along For the Company retreat? Leo: I’ve made most of the Arrangements and I think it’s going well. I’m Planning to send out information about the Two-day event to the managers at the end of this week. Sharon: What do you have Set up for the Opening […]...
- Man goes to see the Rabbi Man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?” The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.” The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?” The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning […]...