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1. Перевод слова warehouseWarehouse — склад Перевод слова Derelict warehouse — заброшенный склад warehouse eviscerated by fire — склад, опустошенный огнем warehouse-keeper’s receipt — складская расписка warehouse sale — распродажа со склада They leased the building as a Warehouse. Они арендовали здание под товарный склад. The goods are dispatched from a Warehouse. Товары отправляют со склада. The Warehouse ... Читать далее...
2. Chaim escapes from a mental hospitalChaim escapes from a mental hospital and goes to the train station. He gets on the train and is seated next to a business man. He asks the man, «Are you Jewish?» The man says, «No.» Joe apologizes. Ten minutes later, he asks, «You wouldn’t happen to be Jewish would you?» The man replies, «No!» ... Читать далее...
3. Business is businessA young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a small town. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student. She asks the class, «Who was the greatest man that ever lived?» A girl raises her hand and says, «I think George Washington was the ... Читать далее...
4. Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tellsLittle Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. «Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,» she asks, «will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?» Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says «No, I don’t think ... Читать далее...
5. Jewish flyA man goes into a bar and sits down to have a drink….he notices that at the other end of the bar is the most attractive woman he has ever seen….he is immediately lust-struck and decides that he must have her….He leans over to the bartender and asks if the bartender has any Spanish-fly in ... Читать далее...
6. A whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a partyA whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a party were discussing the problem of one of their daughters, who looked very much as though she were planning to marry a Gentile boy. Everyone was disturbed about it, and I could not help interrupting. «Why not?» said I. «Let her marry a Gentile boy. I’m all ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова floodFlood — наводнение, потоп, поток Перевод слова Flood level — уровень наводнения или паводка before the Flood — в допотопные времена flood of rain — потоки дождя Anger Flooded him. Гнев переполнял его. The Flood took many lives. Наводнение унесло жизни многих людей. The Flood left them homeless. Потоп оставил их без крова. Примеры из ... Читать далее...
8. Abraham wants to upgrade his PC to Windows 95Abraham wants to upgrade his PC to Windows 95. Isaac is incredulous. ‘Pop,’ he says, ‘you can’t run Windows 95 on your old, slow 386. Everyone knows that you need at least a fast 486 with a minimum of 16 megs of memory in order to multitask effectively with Windows 95.’ But Abraham, the man ... Читать далее...
9. Making Business ContactsPhan: Hi, Montel. Thanks for agreeing to meet with me. Montel: It’s my pleasure. Phan: Since I’m new here, I was hoping you might be willing to give me some Pointers on how to get new clients. To be honest, I’ve never been on This side of the fence before and I’m a little Out ... Читать далее...
10. Having a Business MentorAlex: Where are you going? Kenya: I’m going to meet my business Mentor. Alex: Your business mentor? What do you do with a business mentor? Kenya: Well, my mentor is like an Advisor. We meet Regularly and I get her Feedback and Guidance with my ideas on starting a business. Alex: Oh, so you’re her ... Читать далее...
11. Abraham Lincoln (2)Abraham Lincoln was the son of a poor farmer. He was born in 1809 and his childhood was spent in hard work. He helped his father on their small farm. But in 1816, when Abraham was only 7 years old, his father lost his farm and his family moved to another part of the country. ... Читать далее...
12. Recovering After a SetbackCarl: Come on, let’s go. I have $500 Burning a hole in my pocket. Shelly: Where are we going? Carl: We’re going to the Track. I have a Tip on a Sure thing for one of this afternoon’s Races. This is exactly what I need after last week’s Setback. Shelly: You mean after losing all ... Читать далее...
13. A bunch of Indians capture a cowboyA bunch of Indians capture a cowboy named «Clint», and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to Clint, «You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?» ... Читать далее...
14. President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball gamePresident Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton’s ear. All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, «Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!». She looks surprised but leaves. The pitcher looks ... Читать далее...
15. How did they know that Jesus was Jewish?Q: How did they know that Jesus was Jewish? A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father’s business, his mother thought he was God, and he thought his mother was a virgin....
16. Being an EntrepreneurI had lunch today with my friend Sam. She recently quit her job with a large company to Strike out on her own. She has always been an Entrepreneur in small ways, but she decided to start her own business. The Start-up she Launched provided technology Consulting services for small — to Medium-sized Companies. At ... Читать далее...
17. Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotelBerkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful young woman at the other end of the bar. «Bartender,» he says, «give that lady whatever she likes, and put it on my tab.» When the drink is delivered, the woman gives Berkowitz a warm smile. A moment later he’s at her ... Читать далее...
18. A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonadeA Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade on the street corner for 15 cents a glass. He figures he’ll spend about 3 bucks on the ingredients, the kids will sell maybe 10 glasses and then drink the rest and get stomach aches. His eventual response: «Go stand on the corner for ... Читать далее...
19. Ventriliquist cowboy walks into townVentriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going? Dog: Doin alright. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How’s he treat you? ... Читать далее...
20. A young Jewish man excitedly tells his motherA young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, «Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.» The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women ... Читать далее...
21. A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatristA Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist for an eating and sleeping disorder. «I am so obsessed with my mother… As soon as I go to sleep, I start dreaming, and everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up in such a state, all I can do is go downstairs and ... Читать далее...
22. Do you have an email address?An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor’s job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager tells him, «You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so ... Читать далее...
23. Значение идиомы through street[through street] {n.} 1. A street on which cars can move withoutstopping at intersections, but cars on streets crossing it have tostop at the intersection. You have to be especially carefulcrossing a through street. Mr. Jones stopped his car when he cameto the through street. He waited until there were no cars on it, anddrove ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы bump into[bump into] {v.}, {informal} To meet without expecting to; happen to meet; come upon by accident. Mary was walking down the street, when she suddenly bumped into Joan. Ed was surprised to bump into John at the football game. Syn.: RUN INTO....
25. This black guy is walking along a beach whenThis black guy is walking along a beach when he looks down a sees an antique lamp. Thinking that he’ll get enough money for another vial of crack, he takes the bottle home and starts to clean it. He starts rubbing the lamp, when all of a sudden a Jewish genie appears, and being a ... Читать далее...
26. Is it over yet?It was about a month ago when a Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his Priest. «Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWll, I hid a Jewish man in my attic.» «Well,» answered the Priest, «That’s no a sin.» «But I made him pay me 20 ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы side street[side street] {n.} A street that runs into and ends at a mainstreet. The store is on a side street just off Main Street. TheSpellmans bought a house on a side street that runs off Broad Street. Compare: BACK STREET, CROSS STREET....
28. Selling a BusinessAndy: I can’t believe you’re really Selling up. I thought you’d Stick it out for another year. Robin: Business has been slow for three years Running and I can’t Count on things To pick up anytime soon. I’m selling this business now before it’s completely Worthless. Andy: You should get a good price with all ... Читать далее...
29. Build an ArkThe Lord said to Noah, «In six months, I’m going to make it rain until the earth is covered with water and all the evil is destroyed. I want you to build an ark and save two of each animal species. Here are the blueprints for the ark.» Six months passed. The skies began to ... Читать далее...
30. Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want adFresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. «I need someone with an accounting degree,» the man said. «But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying ... Читать далее...
31. Types of Business EntitiesRon: I’m only your Tax accountant, but let me give you a piece of advice. If you’re planning to start a business, you’ll want to carefully consider what type of Business entity you want to do business under. Marcela: Is that important? My parents ran a Mom-and-pop store for 40 years and they never had ... Читать далее...
32. It was obviousAfter months of negotiation with the authorities, a Talmudist from Odessa was granted permission to visit Moscow. He boarded the train and found an empty seat. At the next stop a young man got on and sat next to him. The scholar looked at the young man and thought: This fellow doesn’t look like a ... Читать далее...
33. A wild partySam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alabama to be as far away from humanity as possible. Sam sees the mailman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise, it’s total peace ... Читать далее...
34. Ordering Business StationeryJermaine: How did the Investor meeting go? Teresa: That meeting has been Postponed until next week. One of the potential investors is out of town. Jermaine: In that case, can you help me with some of this work? Teresa: I would, but I’m busy ordering Stationery right now. Jermaine: Stationery? You’re ordering stationery? Teresa: Yes, ... Читать далее...
35. New YorkNew York is one of the largest cities in the world. Its population is over 11 million people. New York is an industrial and cultural centre of the country. Most business is centred in Manhattan Island. The whole area is very small, that’s why the sky-scrapers were invented in New York and, especially, in Wall ... Читать далее...
36. Asking About Business HoursStore owner: Hello. Karin: Hello, is this Joe’s Shoe Repair? Store owner: Yes, how can I help you? Karin: I’m calling to find out your Business hours. Store owner: We’re open 24/7. Karin: Really? You’re open 24 hours a day, Seven days a week? Store owner: Yes, we are, More often than not. Of course ... Читать далее...
37. A Jewish lady named Mrs. RosenbergA Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort — one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, «Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.» The Jewish lady said, «But your sign says that you have vacancies.» ... Читать далее...
38. Business trip — КомандировкаBusiness trips are just part of doing business. A company tries to choose only its best people to represent it. Trips can happen in or out of the country. And there are as many reasons to go on a business as there are places to go: to sign contracts, to discuss terms of delivery, payment ... Читать далее...
39. Are YOU A HARD MAN?1/. When reaching your sexual climax do you? A) Make low moaning sounds in her ear. b) Suck on her neck to produce a love bite. c) Shove your thumb up her arse so she screams her tits off. 2/. You’re in bed one night and she whispers «I love you». Do you? A) Whisper ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы cross street[cross street] {n.} A street that crosses a main street and runs on both sides of it. Elm Street is a cross street on Main Street and there is a traffic light there. Compare: THROUGH STREET....