Gas-tank joke

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1. Перевод слова tank Tank – бак, резервуар; танк Перевод слова Tank skeleton – каркас резервуара petrol tank – бензобак tank attack – танковая атака The fuel Tank’s almost empty. Топливный бак почти пустой. The petrol Tank is leaking. Бензобак протекает. Their vehicle was crushed by an army Tank. Их машину раздавил боевой танк....
2. Значение идиомы think tank [think tank] {n.} A company of researchers who spend their timedeveloping ideas and concepts. The government hired a think tank tostudy the country’s need for coins, and was advised to stop makingpennies....
3. Перевод слова gallon Gallon – галлон Перевод слова Per gall pounds per gallon – число фунтов на галлон allow a gallon for leakage – скинуть галлон на утечку cost per gallon – стоимость одного галлона The flask holds one Gallon. Фляга вмещает в себя один галлон. We drank Gallons of coffee. Мы выпили литры кофе. The car gets […]...
4. Перевод слова sufficient Sufficient – достаточный Перевод слова Sufficient justification – достаточное оправдание sufficient quantity – достаточное количество reasonably sufficient – достаточно обоснованный He had not Sufficient courage for it. На это у него не хватило смелости. A Sufficient number to make a quorum. Достаточное количество людей для кворума. The English people is Sufficient for itself. Английский народ […]...
5. And yet another college dorm joke I have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a […]...
6. Перевод слова suspect Suspect – подозреваемый, подозрительный, подозревать Перевод слова His statement is suspect – его заявление не внушает доверия to hold smb. suspect – держать кого-л. на подозрении whom do you suspect? – кого вы подозреваете? He was Suspected of theft. Его подозревали в краже. The police shot the Suspect in the leg. Полицейский выстрелил подозреваемому в […]...
7. Yet another dorm joke Here’s one that my roommate and myself did to a residence buddy. One morning (early) we taped together a bunch of sheets of newspaper to cover the victims doorframe. Then taped this big sheet over the doorframe which left a gap of about two or three inches between the sheet and the door. Then we […]...
8. The District Attorney requested all the robbery victims to The District Attorney requested all the robbery victims to come to the police station to study a lineup of five people. He placed his suspect at the end of the line. Then he asked each to step forward and say, “Give me all your money…and I need some change in quarters, nickels and dimes.” The […]...
9. Значение идиомы ten gallon hat [ten gallon hat] {n.}, {informal} A tall felt hat with a wide, rolled brim worn by men in the western part of the U. S. Men fromthe southwest usually wear ten gallon hats....
10. Перевод слова topic Topic – тема, предмет обсуждения Перевод слова Topic of conversation – тема разговора the topic of the day – злободневная тема to skirt a topic – уклониться от темы It may not be the most savoury Topic for discussion. Наверное, это не самая приятная тема для обсуждения. Let’s stay with the Topic and not go […]...
11. Значение идиомы catch off guard [catch off guard] {v. phr.} To challenge or confront a person at a time of lack of preparedness or sufficient care. The suspect was caught off guard by the detective and confessed where he had hidden the stolen car....
12. Outhouse joke A few years ago some members of the infamous Dartmouth Outing Club pushed an occupied one-seat outhouse off its foundations, onto its door. The victim tried in vain for a few minutes to roll the entire building onto a different side, but soon gave up, as it was too heavy. She then was forced to […]...
13. Ex-Police car joke We have various local spots where the teenagers park, cruise, hold drag races, drink beer etc. We happen to own a white 1983 Dodge Diplomat, the exact kind of car used by the State Patrol around here as well as many law enforcement agencies nationwide. (Actually our car WAS a state patrol car, but that’s […]...
14. Phone joke II One night when you have a few friends around, take turns calling the same phone number, a really obnoxious acquaintance that won’t recognize your voices is always a good choice. When the person answers, try to leave a message for John Smith (or any name that sounds real). Insist that you have the right number […]...
15. College cafeteria joke Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria. One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides. When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), […]...
16. Requesting a three day pass An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says “Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!” So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO […]...
17. Перевод слова truth Truth – правда, истина Перевод слова To diverge from the truth – отклоняться от истины a dollop of truth – крупица правды evangelical truth – евангельская истина Out with the Truth! Выкладывай правду! How wide he is from Truth. Как он далек от истины! Nothing pains like the Truth. Правда глаза колет....
18. Перевод слова student Student – студент, курсант Перевод слова Student-curated exhibition – выставка, организованная студентами student demonstration – студенческая демонстрация student driver – лицо, обучающееся вождению She was an average Student. Она была обычной студенткой. Assign each Student a partner. Назначьте каждому студенту напарника. He is a Student of the occult. Он изучает оккультизм....
19. Earn it hiking A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new 10 speed bike. “Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300.” “Easy, Dad,” the boy replied. “I earned it hiking.” “Come on,” the father said. “Tell me the truth.” “That is […]...
20. Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, “Mama! I […]...
21. Значение идиомы come out [come out] {v.} 1. {Of a girl:} To be formally introduced to polite society at about age eighteen, usually at a party; begin to go to big parties, In society, girls come out when they reach the age of about eighteen, and usually it is at a big party in their honor; after that they […]...
22. College bar joke When I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the […]...
23. Cow joke Another Cow joke I attribute to my ‘Ol chemestry prof was the placement of a cow onto the roof. I would presume a fairly storng roof, but once up there it would be hard to hide the fact to the cow that any direction would be down. Another pratical joke involved the use of outhouses. […]...
24. Egg joke In a similar vein, tell your victim that you have a test of coordination you would like him to try with you. Find a door with a fairly large crack between the door and the wall when the door is open. (You know, over by the hinges; across the width of the door from the […]...
25. Another ethnic joke A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, “What a Pollack.” The Polish man said, “I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew.” […]...
26. An abstract joke Two bananas are lying on a river bank when a turd comes floating by. The turd looks over and says, “Hey! Come on in! The water’s fine!” One banana turns to the other banana and says, “Do you believe that shit?”...
27. Practical Joke A couple was planning on getting married. Seeing how they didn’t have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided tojust go back to their new apartment after the wedding. The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other a ordinary guy, and the […]...
28. Phone joke A few months ago I saw a newspaper clipping which told of a newspaper in Illinois (I think…) which ran a story warning consumers that, on such-and – such day, Illinois Bell would be “blowing the dust out of the phone lines” and that all phone owners should cover the earpiece of their phones with […]...
29. Equal positive integers Theorem: All positive integers are equal. Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive integers, A and B, A = B. Further, it is sufficient to show that for all N > 0, if A and B (positive integers) satisfy (MAX(A, B) = N) then A = B. Proceed by induction. If N = […]...
30. The evils of marijuana A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of marijuana. Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors, “Used regularly,” he explained, “pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!” “Now wait a minute, professor,” interrupted a student. […]...
31. A visual joke (This joke requires the use a small visual. I’ll describe the visual first, then as I tell the joke I’ll cue you when to use it) Visual: Stretch your arms straight out sideways with hands also stretched wide open. Joke: Why did the blonde want to date Jesus? She heard he was (use visual) HUNG […]...
32. President Carter’s joke In an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke. He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story […]...
33. College dorm joke Two very hot-headed people lived directly across the halls from each other. Dave got a piece of 1/2″ rope and tied their doors together with about a 6″ gap of slack. Waited until 2:30am and knocked REALLY HARD on both doors. Interesting way to wake up…having two steaming mad football jerks slamming each other’s doors […]...
34. I got a great Polish joke A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, “Hey, I got this great Polish Joke…” The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: “Before you go telling that joke you better know that I’m Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so are most of […]...
35. The woman is on fire A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands. But it also lit up her arm, too! Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. […]...
36. Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, “I put cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn’t hear. The second nurse said, “Well, I did worse […]...
37. Значение идиомы day of reckoning [day of reckoning] {n. phr.} 1. A time when one will be made to account for misdeeds. When the criminal was caught and brought to trial his victims said, “finally, the day of reckoning has come.” 2. A time when one’s will and Judgment are severely tested. “You always wanted to run the department,” the […]...
38. The homework schedule Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend […]...
39. MD Qs and As What does a graduate student with a science degree ask? “Why does it work?” What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask? “How does it work?” What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask? “How much will it cost?” What does a graduate student with a liberal arts degree ask? “Do […]...
40. At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by […]...