Excuse TO smoke

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1. A young peasant girl of fourteenA young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, «But why?» he asked. «Nothin, I just wanna ... Читать далее...
2. Marital SexWhile making love to his wife, Carl discovered he couldn’t enjoy it. Though they had been married only a few years, he relflectly unhappily, their love-making had become infrequent and bland. Then quite suddenly, alarmed, he said: «What happened, did I hurt you?» «Why no, not at all,» said his surprised wife. «Whatever made you ... Читать далее...
3. Cop wants an excuseA man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks «I can outrun this guy,» so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway — ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова quitQuit — бросать, освобождаться Перевод слова To quit oneself of fear — избавиться от страха to quit the house — съехать с квартиры, переехать в другое место to quit work when the siren sounds — прекращать работу по сигналу сирены to quit a debt — выплатить долг I Quit school at 16. Я бросил школу ... Читать далее...
5. Значение идиомы chain-smoke[chain-smoke] {v.} To smoke cigarettes or cigars one after another without stopping. Mr. Jones is very nervous. He chain-smokes cigars. [chain smoker] {n.} Mr. Jones is a chain smoker. [chain-smoking] {adj.} or {n.} Chain-smoking is very dangerous to health....
6. PUPPY LOVEA man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, «Well, son, they’re making a puppy.» The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being ... Читать далее...
7. To Smoke or Not to Smoke? — Курить или не курить?The problem of smoking is much under discussion. Some people smoke, some don’t. At present little is known for certain about the tobacco effect on the human organism. The amount of nicotine absorbed by a heavy smoker per day is capable of killing a horse. Yet it does no visible harm to the smoker. As ... Читать далее...
8. After their love-making session the young bride asks her husbandAfter their love-making session the young bride asks her husband «Was making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?» «Yes, she’s dead to!»»Was making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?» «Yes, she’s dead to!»...
9. Значение идиомы smoke like a chimney[smoke like a chimney] {v. phr.}, {informal} To smoke very heavilyand continuously. «If you continue smoking like a chimney» thedoctor told my uncle, «you’ll wind up in the hospital with lungcancer.»...
10. Barry took a girl out on her first dateBarry took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, «My mother told me to say no to everything.» «Well,» Barry said, «do you mind if I put my arm around you?» «No,» the girl replied. «Do you mind if I put my ... Читать далее...
11. Darling, she whispered after they had finished making love«Darling,» she whispered after they had finished making love, «Will you still make love like that to me after we’re married?» He considered this for a moment, and then replied, «I think so. I’ve always been especially fond of married women.»...
12. What God looks likeA Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, «I’m drawing God.» The teacher paused and said, «But no one knows ... Читать далее...
13. Drawing GodA kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, «I’m drawing God.» The teacher paused and said, «But no one knows what God ... Читать далее...
14. A little nine year old girl was in church with her motherA little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. «Mommy,» she said. «Can we leave now?» «No,» her mother replied. «Well, I think I have to throw up!» «Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.» ... Читать далее...
15. Orgasmic ProblemsThe husband, tired of a listless sex life came right out and asked his wife during a recent love-making session, «How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?» She looked him rite in the eye and said, «You’re never home!»...
16. Paying billsWalking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, «I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?» «Only one kiss per yard, » replied the smirking male clerk. «That’s fine,» replied the girl. «I’ll take ten yards.» With expectation and anticipation written all over his ... Читать далее...
17. Пословица / поговорка where there’s smoke there’s fire / no smoke without fire — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: where there’s smoke there’s fire / no smoke without fire Перевод: нет дыма без огня; дыма без огня не бывает Пример: Where there’s smoke there’s fire and the discussion of the safety problem suggested that the company should try to do something about it. Дыма без огня не бывает, и обсуждение вопроса ... Читать далее...
18. This snow plow driver from North DakotaThis snow plow driver from North Dakota got married. He and his new Bride prepared for their wedding nite. He watched for a while as she spread three different kinds of creams and then a white foam in preparation for their love making. She finally announced that she was ready. The man then asked if ... Читать далее...
19. A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with himA fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing. «Your organ,» she ... Читать далее...
20. A little boy squirrel and a little girl squirrelA little boy squirrel and a little girl squirrel were chattering and playing around when up comes a fox. The girl squirrel dashed up a tree, but the boy squirrel stayed on the ground. «That’s strange,» said the fox. «Usually squirrels are afraid of me and run to the nearest tree.» «Listen, bud,» replied the ... Читать далее...
21. Little Johnny had become a real nuisanceLittle Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives. His father tried every way possible to get Johnny to occupy himself…television, ice cream, homework, video games…but the youngster insisted on running back and forth behind the players and calling out the ... Читать далее...
22. A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seatedA girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: «So, where y’all from?» The New York girl said, «From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.» The ... Читать далее...
23. Three couples wanted to join a churchThree couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, «We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.» The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor goes to the ... Читать далее...
24. One afternoon this young girl knocked on the door of her neighborOne afternoon this young girl knocked on the door of her neighbor, to chit chat the afternoon away. She walked in and said my god you look so depressed. She said you bet I am, look what my damm husband sent me…six dozen roses. Now you know what that means? I’m going to have to ... Читать далее...
25. Happens all the timeA guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turn out to be Siamese twins, and they wind up back at his apartment. He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the other. He realizes that the first one might get bored watching, so he her asks what she’d like ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы love affair[love affair] {n.} A friendship between lovers; a romance orcourtship. The love affair of Bob and Jane went on for months. Harry had many love affairs, but he never married....
27. Criminal steals lumberA man with a nagging secret couldn’t keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked. «What did you take?» his priest asked. «Enough to build my own house and enough for my son’s house. And houses for our two ... Читать далее...
28. Excuse me[ excuse ] 952 1) [Ik’skjHs] n — извинение; 2) [Ik’skjHz] V— извинять Excuse me. (разговорное — ‘Scuse me. [skjHz]) Извините., Простите. (за небольшую оплошность, за неудобства, за то, что перебиваю вас и т. п.). «Excuse me, but would you know what time it is?» — Willis looked at his watch. «Three-ten,» he said. — ... Читать далее...
29. A little girl came running into the house cryingA little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. «Why do you want cider?» asked Mom. «To take the pain away,» sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little ... Читать далее...
30. Help the lonely childSandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all ... Читать далее...
31. One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughterOne day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, «I did that by accident.» She replied, «I know that, daddy.» He replied, «How’d you know?» The girl said, «Because you didn’t say ‘ASSHOLE!’ afterwards!»...
32. Значение идиомы lovers’ lane[lovers’ lane] {n.} A hidden road or walk where lovers walk or parkin the evening. A parked car in a lonely lovers’ lane often is achance for holdup men....
33. Значение идиомы fed up[fed up] also [fed to the gills] or [fed tothe teeth] {adj. phr.} Having had too much of something; at the end ofyour patience; disgusted; bored; tired. People get fed up withanyone who brags all the time. I’ve had enough of his complaints. I’m fed up. He was fed to the teeth with television and ... Читать далее...
34. A man goes to a psychiatristA man goes to a psychiatrist. To start things off, the psychiatrist suggests they start with a Rorschach Test. He holds up the first picture and asks the man what he sees. «A man and a woman making love in a park,» the man replies. The psychiatrist holds up the second picture and asks the ... Читать далее...
35. A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good lookingA young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, «Stop making love down there!» «What’s the matter with you?» the husband said when the sailor climbed down. «We weren’t making love.» «Sorry,» said the sailor, «From ... Читать далее...
36. Mysterious pictureAfter a wonderful night of love making, the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the distance. Naturally, the guy began to worry. «Is that your husband?» he inquired nervously. «No, silly,» she replied, snuggling up to him. «Your boyfriend then?» ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы girl friend[girl friend] {n.}, {informal} 1. A female friend or companion. Jane is spending the night at her girlfriend’s house. 2. A boy’ssteady girl; the girl or woman partner in a love affair; girl;sweetheart. John is taking his girl friend to the dance. Contrast:BOYFRIEND....
38. Three girls died and were brought to the gatesThree girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, «Before entering you must answer this simple question.» «Which is…?», they replied in unison. «Have you been a good girl?», he asked the first girl. ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы platonic love[platonic love] {n. phr.} Great affection toward another personwithout sex. They are platonic lovers; they do everything togetherexcept make love....
40. One day a guy and a girl were making out in the guy’s carOne day a guy and a girl were making out in the guy’s car in the girl’s driveway. They began to get pretty hot and heavy when the guy reached into his pants and placed his cock in her hand. She froze, jumped up and said, «I’ve got two words for you, DROP DEAD!» Then ... Читать далее...