Paddy was picked up on a rape charge

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1. The local priest came across Paddy who had The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern. “Paddy,” he said, ” I’m afraid I’ll not be seeing you in Heaven one day.” “Really, Father?” slurred Paddy. “What have you done?”...
2. It’s Christmas time and Paddy and Shaun decided to go look It’s Christmas time and Paddy and Shaun decided to go look for a Christmas Tree. They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good look at them. When they finally reach a fine stand of trees, Shaun brushes off the first tree, and stands […]...
3. Paddy wanted to be an accountant, so he went Paddy wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test. Tester: If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Paddy: Seven! Tester: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have […]...
4. Paddy Murphy had just returned to Ireland from a holiday Paddy Murphy had just returned to Ireland from a holiday in Australia. His mate asked him what it was like. “Australia’s a great place!” Paddy replied. “First they take you home and fill you so full of piss you can’t stand up. Then, to top it off, they let you fuck their women whenever you […]...
5. Значение идиомы paddy wagon [paddy wagon] {n.}, {informal} A police van used for transportingprisoners to jail or the police station. The police threw thedemonstrators into the paddy wagon....
6. Перевод слова charge Charge – заряжать, наполнять; возлагать ответственность; плата за услуги Перевод слова The emotional charge – эмоциональный заряд charge of surety – допускаемая нагрузка free of charge – бесплатно I Charge you not to go. Я требую, чтобы вы остались. The Charge for students is $8. Плата для студентов – $8. He is in Charge of […]...
7. Значение идиомы in charge of [in charge of] {prep.} 1. Responsible for; having supervision orcare of. Marian is in charge of selling tickets. The girl incharge of refreshments forgot to order the ice cream for the party. When our class had a play, the teacher put Harold in charge of thestage curtain. 2. or [in the charge of] Under the […]...
8. Значение идиомы in charge [in charge] {adv.} or {adj. phr.}, 1. In authority or control; in aposition to care for or supervise; responsible. If you have anyquestions, ask the boss. He’s in charge. 2. Under care orsupervision. The sick man was taken in charge by the doctor. During your visit to the library, you will be in the librarian’scharge. […]...
9. Значение идиомы take charge [take charge] {v. phr.} To begin to lead or control; take controlor responsibility; undertake the care or management. When Mrs. Jackson was in the hospital, her sister tookcharge of the Jackson children until Mrs. Jackson could care forthem. The child care class gave a party for the nursery children, and Mary took charge of the […]...
10. Значение идиомы charge account [charge account] {n.} An agreement with a store through which you can buy things and pay for them later. Mother bought a new dress on her charge account. Mr. Jones has a charge account at the garage on the corner....
11. A strange jigsaw puzzle Paddy gets a phone call from Murphy. “Paddy,” says Murphy, “I’ve got a problem.” “What’s the matter?” replies Paddy “Oi’ve bought a jigsaw and it’s too hard. None of the pieces fit together, and I can’t find any edges.” “What’s the picture of?” asks Paddy “It’s of a big cockerel,” Murphy replies. Paddy says, “Alroight, […]...
12. Значение идиомы charge off [charge off] {v.} 1. To consider or record as a loss, especially in an account book. The store owner charged off all of the last season’s stock of suits. Syn.: WRITE OFF. 2. or [charge up] {informal} To accept or remember as a mistake and not worry about it any more. – Often used with […]...
13. Jokes about St. Patrick’s Day Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy “Jez, that look like Sean” to which Paddy replied “No Sean was taller than that” It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride […]...
14. Значение идиомы charge up [charge up] {v. phr.} 1. To submit to a flow of electricity in order to make functional. I mustn’t forget to charge up my razor before we go on our trip. 2. To use up all the available credit one has on one’s credit card. “Let’s charge dinner on the Master Card,” Jane said. “Unfortunately […]...
15. Humor about St. Patrick’s Day Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. “What’s wrong, Seamus?” Paddy asked. “Well didn’t ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?” said Seamus. “Ah, praise the Almighty!” Paddy replied with relief. “I thought I’d […]...
16. During World War II, Hitler told his Nazis to rape During World War II, Hitler told his Nazis to rape as may French women as they could then say, “In nine months you will have a baby. Name it Adolf. Heil Hitler!” So a young Nazi soldier, eager to do his duty, dutifully went out and raped a pretty young French girl. He said, “In […]...
17. Man Hospitalized After Shooting 3 Men Who Broke Into His Home, Wanted To Rape His Granddaughter A grandfather from Lumberton, North Carolina, proved himself a force to be reckoned with after he found himself face to face with three armed men who broke into his home Monday night and allegedly attempted to rape his 19-year-old granddaughter. Kenneth Byrd, 67, and his wife were reportedly at home at around 10 p. m. […]...
18. Перевод идиомы in charge (of someone or something), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: in charge (of someone or something) Перевод: быть во главе, быть главным Пример: He is in charge of the sales department at his company. Он возглавляет отдел по продажам в своей компании....
19. Room Service I was staying at a nice resort hotel in Arizona on a short vacation. I had been out on the Golf course playing a Round of golf. When I got back into the room, I was feeling pretty hungry. I was meeting some friends for a late dinner around 8:30. I wanted a Snack. I […]...
20. A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing. “Your organ,” she […]...
21. Irishman declares war Saddam Hussein is sitting at home when the phone rings. He picks it up and says “Hello”. The voice at the end of the phone says “Hello Mr. Hussein, it’s Paddy here. I’m just ringing to let you know that we’ve declared war on your country.” SH smiles to himself, “Come on Paddy”, he says, […]...
22. Значение идиомы carrying charge [carrying charge] {n.} An extra cost added to the price of something bought on weekly or monthly payments. The price of the bicycle was $50. Jim bought it for $5.00 a month for ten months plus a carrying charge of $1 a month....
23. Перевод идиомы in charge of something or someone, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: in charge of something or someone Перевод: 1. быть ответственным, отвечать за что-либо или кого-либо; 2. быть главным, возглавлять что-либо Пример: Our teacher is in charge of selling tickets for the school dance. Наш учитель отвечает за продажу билетов на школьные танцы. Who is in chare here? Кто здесь главный?...
24. Trapped within a bog Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O’Reilly wandered by. “Help!” Paddy shouted, “Oi’m sinkin’!” Don’t worry,” assured Mick. “Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi’m the strongest man in Erin, and Oi’ll pull ye right out o’ there.” Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy’s hand and pulled and pulled […]...
25. Just like my wife A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my […]...
26. Getting Your Pocket Picked Lenny: Wait a second. Where is my Wallet? Anita: It’s not in your back pocket? Lenny: No, it’s in none of my pockets. My Pocket’s been picked! Anita: It must have happened when our attention was Diverted by those boys fighting over there. Lenny: I should have been paying more attention in a busy market […]...
27. Getting Your Pocket Picked Lenny: Wait a second. Where is my Wallet? Anita: It’s not in your back pocket? Lenny: No, it’s in none of my pockets. My Pocket’s been picked! Anita: It must have happened when our attention was Diverted by those boys fighting over there. Lenny: I should have been paying more attention in a busy market […]...
28. Значение идиомы charge something to something [charge something to something] {v.} 1. To place the blame on; make responsible for. John failed to win a prize, but he charged it to his lack of experience. The coach charged the loss of the game to the team’s disobeying his orders. 2. To buy something on the credit of. Mrs. Smith bought a […]...
29. This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls from a local brothel, and as she passed by, she asked one girl what the lineup was for. the girl shrugged and said, jokingly, “cough drops” and snickered. Just then the cop approached the old gal and said, “What are you doing here, m’am?” […]...
30. An ancient Irishman Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. “Come have a look over here,” says Paddy, “it’s Michael O’Grady’s grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87.” “That’s nothing”, says […]...
31. The District Attorney requested all the robbery victims to The District Attorney requested all the robbery victims to come to the police station to study a lineup of five people. He placed his suspect at the end of the line. Then he asked each to step forward and say, “Give me all your money…and I need some change in quarters, nickels and dimes.” The […]...
32. Three religious truths There are three religious truths: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters...
33. Значение идиомы pick up [pick up] {v.} 1. To take up; lift. During the morning Mrs. Carter picked up sticks in the yard. 2. {informal} To pay for someoneelse. After lunch, in the restaurant, Uncle Bob picked up thecheck. 3. To take on or away; receive; get. At the next corner thebus stopped and picked up three people. 4. […]...
34. Humor about Irish Pubs (Setting the scene, Ballymun outside of Dublin has a reputation as a rough spot) Fifteen minutes into Aer Lingus Flight EI109 from Madrid to Dublin the Plane encounters a serious problem with the Instrument landing systems. In a Fit of Panic, Paddy the Pilot turns to his co-Pilot and says. “Jazus Mick…Well have to turn […]...
35. Planning a Business Luncheon One of my co-workers, Betty, was Retiring this month after working for the company 23 years. I was put In charge of planning a retirement lunch In her honor at a restaurant nearby. The company was Picking up the tab and it was Up to me to set a day and time. After asking the […]...
36. A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his Wet Willy in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, “Stop! […]...
37. Some professions A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep. A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time. […]...
38. Elderly romance There’s an elderly man and woman sitting in the sunroom of a retirement home. The old man says to the woman, “For five dollars, I’ll have sex with you on that rocking chair over there. For ten dollars, I’ll have sex with you on that couch. But for twenty dollars, I’ll take you to my […]...
39. ‘Missing’ woman unknowingly joins search for herself A woman who was reported missing from an Icelandic tour unwittingly joined a search for herself. According to the Reykjavik Grapevine, a woman described as “Asian, about 160cm, in dark clothing and speaks English well” was listed as missing Saturday near the Eldgjá volcanic canyon in southern Iceland. A search continued through the weekend with […]...
40. One day the different parts of the body One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge. The brain said “I do all the thinking so I’m the most important and I should be in charge.” The eyes said “I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so […]...