English horn

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1. French hornQ: What do you get when you cross a French horn player with a goal post? A: A goal post that can’t march. Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but he’ll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks. Q: What do ... Читать далее...
2. SaxophoneQ: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? A: It’s all in the grip. Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax? A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner’s neighbors don’t mind if you don’t return the sax when you borrow it. Q: What is the ... Читать далее...
3. BassQ: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldn’t tell the bass player which one. Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one — but the guitarist has to show him first. Q: How many bass players does ... Читать далее...
4. BanjoQ: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but all the others gathered around will complain that that’s not the way Earl Scruggs would have done it. Q: How can you tell the stage you’re playing on is level? A: The banjo player is drooling out of ... Читать далее...
5. TrumpetQ: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, «I could do that better. Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control? A: Their personality. Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist ... Читать далее...
6. Without a hornJudi went to a «Dude Ranch» on vacation. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle. Judi asked what the difference was. «Well, one has a horn and the other doesn’t.» «Just get the one without the horn. I don’t think we’ll run into too much traffic out here.»...
7. Перевод идиомы blow one’s own horn / toot one’s own horn, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: blow one’s own horn / toot one’s own horn Перевод: хвалиться, хвастаться, нахваливать себя Пример: My friend is always blowing his own horn and is very annoying at times. Мой друг постоянно хвалится, и иногда он очень действует на нервы....
8. TubaQ: What is the range of a tuba? A: Twenty yards if you’ve got a good arm. Q: What’s a tuba for? A: 1 1/2 X 3 1/2. Q: There are two tubaplayers sitting in a car. Who’s driving? A: The policeman Tuba Player: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so. Q: ... Читать далее...
9. Dogs and Light BulbsHow many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh? Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp! Malamute: Let the ... Читать далее...
10. GuitarQ: How do you make him stop playing? A: Put notes on it! Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist? A: Pick on someone your own size! Q: What’s the definition of a minor second? A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison. Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? A: ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы blow one’s own horn[blow one’s own horn] or [toot one’s own horn] {v. phr.}, {slang} To praise yourself; call attention to your own skill, intelligence, or successes; boast. People get tired of a man who is always blowing his own horn. A person who does things well does not have to toot his own horn; his abilities will ... Читать далее...
12. How many women with PMS does it take toQ: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова bulbBulb — луковица, электрическая лампочка Перевод слова Bulb of the hair — луковица волос bulb of eye — глазное яблоко frosted bulb — матовая лампочка The Bulb’s gone in the bathroom. В ванной перегорела лампочка. A light Bulb dangled from the ceiling. С потолка свисала электрическая лампочка. I’m not very practical — I can’t even ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова hornHorn — рог, рожок, гудок Перевод слова Horns and hoofs — рога и копыта shepherd’s horn — пастуший рожок horn of abundance — рог изобилия The Horn below sounded the recall. Раздался звук горна, означающий сигнал к возвращению. A motor Horn sounded off behind me and scared me silly. За моей спиной просигналил клаксон и ... Читать далее...
15. Значение идиомы believe one’s ears[believe one’s ears] {v. phr.} 1. To believe what one hears; trust one’s hearing. — Used with a negative or limiter, or in an interrogative or conditional sentence. He thought he heard a horn blowing in the distance, but he could not believe his ears. 2. To be made sure of. Is he really coming? ... Читать далее...
16. BagpipesQ: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise. Q: What’s the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We’re still trying to find out too. Bagpipes (noun) — I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы horn in[horn in] {v.}, {slang} To come in without invitation or welcome;interfere. Often used with «on». Jack would often horn in onconversations discussing things he knew nothing about. Lee hornedin on Ray and Annie and wanted to dance with Annie. Compare: BUTT IN....
18. MusicianQ: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, «I can do that!» Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? A: Bach ... Читать далее...
19. Biotech firm creates fake rhino horn to reduce poachingA San Francisco biotech startup has managed to 3D print fake rhino horns that carry the same genetic fingerprint as the actual horn. It plans to flood Chinese market with these cheap horns to curb poaching. Pembient, based in San Francisco uses keratin — a type of fibrous protein — and rhino DNA to produce ... Читать далее...
20. AccordionsAn accordion is a bagpipe with pleats. Q: What is the definition of an optimist? A: An accordion player with a pager. Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion? A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds. Q: What do accordion players use as a contraceptive? A: Their personalities. Q: What’s the ... Читать далее...
21. The most painful partA group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice the girl knew just as much about the game as themselves, and are really impressed. After the game they ask her, «How is it that you know so much about baseball?» She says, «Well, I ... Читать далее...
22. How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? A: We’ve formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder....
23. Перевод слова painfulPainful — болезненный, мучительный Перевод слова Painful tooth — больной зуб painful treatment — болезненное лечение painful problem — больной вопрос painful news — неприятная новость The animal died a Painful death. Животное умерло мучительной смертью. It was Painful to watch. На это было больно смотреть. The divorce was Painful for both of us. Развод ... Читать далее...
24. What is the difference between a English actuary andWhat is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary? An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names…...
25. Значение идиомы ear[ear] See: ABOUT ONE’S EARS or AROUND ONE’S EARS, BELIEVE ONE’SEARS, DRY BEHIND THE EARS, FLEA IN ONE’S EAR, GIVE AN EAR TO or LENDAN EAR TO, GO IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER, JUG-EARED, LITTLE PITCHERSHAVE BIG EARS, MUSIC TO ONE’S EARS, PIN ONE’S EARS BACK, PLAY BY EAR, PRICK UP ONE’S EARS, ... Читать далее...
26. ViolaQ: What is a chord? A: Three violists playing in unison. Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One. Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. Q: What is the difference between ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова EnglishEnglish — английский, английский язык Перевод слова Spoken English — разговорный английский broken English — ломаный английский not English — не по-английски the whole field of English history — вся английская история English is spoken here. Здесь говорят по-английски. His English was perfect. Он безупречно говорил по-английски. Her English is idiomatic. Она говорит по-английски практически ... Читать далее...
28. VocalsQ: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can’t find the key and doesn’t know when to come in. Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman? A: Stage makeup. Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light ... Читать далее...
29. Having Hearing ProblemsBernadette: Why are you Mumbling? Claude: I’m not. I said, “What’s wrong with your Hearing?” Bernadette: Nothing is wrong with my hearing. You just need To speak up. Claude: I’m Practically shouting. You need to see a doctor about your Hearing loss. Bernadette: I’m not Hard of hearing. It’s probably just a Buildup of Earwax. ... Читать далее...
30. Thomas Alva EdisonMost people know that Thomas Edison invented the first working light bulb, but they don’t know anything else about him. Edison had almost no formal schooling, yet he invented over 1000 different things. Among Edison’s inventions are: the phonograph (record player), the movie camera and the movie projector. Thomas Edison invented his electric light bulb ... Читать далее...
31. TromboneQ: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn? A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes. Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone? A: Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste. Q: How do you ... Читать далее...
32. Chem one-liners 02Q: How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he’ll change it three times, plot a straight line through the data, and then extrapolate to zero concentration. «A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.» Isaac Asimov said that if you want to ... Читать далее...
33. Golf in the BedroomGolf in the Bedroom Rules of Play Each player shall provide his own equipment — normally one club and two balls. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole. ... Читать далее...
34. Describing Talent and AbilityKathy: Thanks for inviting me to see your team. Who’s your best player? Brad: That would be Sarah. She’s a Natural. No one comes close to her speed and Dexterity. She has good Instincts and a Flair for getting out of difficult situations. Kathy: She sounds Promising. Anyone else I should be Keeping an eye ... Читать далее...
35. The definition of a phallic symbolThis girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks «Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says «you’re kidding..» Girl says «no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???» Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says «You see? This is a failic symbol!» Girl says «Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller»...
36. Значение идиомы Pidgin English[Pidgin English] {n. phr.} A jargon that consists of somemispronounced English words and some foreign words used by Orientalsin talking with Westerners. You can conduct a lot of business inPidgin English in the Far East....
37. Lunching with English friends at the time of her husbands reverementLunching with English friends at the time of her husbands reverement, Madame de Gaulle was asked what she was looking forward to in the years ahead. «A penis.» she replied without hesitation. The embarrassed silence that followed was broken by the former President. «My dear, I don’t think that the English pronounce the word like ... Читать далее...
38. English languageHave you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? Let’s face it English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England French fries were not invented in France. We ... Читать далее...
39. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «Command of Chinese and English»Benny Бенни Sometimes you would have to write the instructions yourself, and other times, you would have to translate the English handbook into Chinese. This task requires you to have a strong Command of both Chinese and English. Would you be able to do this? Иногда тебе самой придется писать инструкции, а может и придется ... Читать далее...
40. English Cookery and MealsВ топике Английская кухня и еда — подробно описываются все приемы пищи британцев в течение дня и их гастрономические предпочтения. Вы узнаете о знаменитом английском завтраке, в который входят: каша с молоком или сливками и сахаром, бекон и яйца, мармелад с тостом, чай или кофе. Англичане никогда не пропустят довольно обильный ланч, на который они ... Читать далее...