Different Treatments

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1. Перевод слова groceryGrocery — бакалейная лавка, бакалея Перевод слова To be in the grocery business — торговать бакалейными товарами grocery goods — бакалейные товары bookkeeper in a grocery — счетовод в бакалейной лавке grocery store — бакалейный магазин I’ll swing by the Grocery store on my way. Я заскочу в продуктовый магазин по пути. I make weekly ... Читать далее...
2. A dubious remedyA man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, «When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.» That same day the man went to the store ... Читать далее...
3. This old lady walks out of the grocery store and goes to the bus stopThis old lady walks out of the grocery store and goes to the bus stop. An old guy is sitting in the parking lot in his car. He drives over and says he’ll give her a ride home. On the way he looks her over and says «You’re a pretty good looking old broad. I’ll ... Читать далее...
4. Selecting Window Treatments[doorbell rings] Otto: Hi, I’m Otto from Windows-R-Us. I’m here to show you the Window treatment options we offer and to take Measurements for Installation if you decide to order from our store. Jean: Hi, Otto. I’m Jean. Come on in. I want to get some new window treatments for the living room. Can you ... Читать далее...
5. You want childrenAre You Ready for Children? Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Lego’s. (If ... Читать далее...
6. Main Vice PresidentTom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, «Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!». «Really?» ... Читать далее...
7. Значение идиомы in case[in case] {adv. phr.}, {informal} 1. In order to be prepared; as aprecaution; if there is need. — Usually used in the phrase «just incase». The bus is usually on time, but start early, just in case. The big dog was tied up, but John carried a stick, just in case. 2. [in case] or ... Читать далее...
8. A man goes into the doctor’s office feeling really badA man goes into the doctor’s office feeling really bad. After a thorough examination the doctor calls him into his office and says «I have some bad news. You have HAGS.» «What is HAGS» the man asks. «It’s herpes, AIDS, gonorrhea, and syphilis» says the doctor. «Oh my God» says the man. «What are you ... Читать далее...
9. I’ll use my Seeing Eye DogA blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы dose out[dose out] {v.} To sell the whole of; end by selling all the goods; also, to sell your stock and stop doing business. The store dosed out its stock of garden supplies. Mr. Jones dosed out his grocery. Mr. Randall was losing money in his shoe store, so he decided to dose out....
11. Describing Symptoms to a DoctorDr. van Eyck: Good morning, I’m Dr. van Eyck. I understand that you’re not feeling well. Nico: That’s right, doctor. I’ve had a Stomachache for three days. The pain Comes and goes, but I also have Heartburn and I am feeling Bloated all the time. Dr. van Eyck: Well, let’s take a look. Have you ... Читать далее...
12. Love to DeathA man goes to his doctor for his annual physical complaining of all kinds of mysterious ailments — lack of sleep, no drive, very little appetite, nervous, etc. After a complete exam, the doctor can find nothing physically wrong and suspects the man is suffering from depression. The two had been friends for many years, ... Читать далее...
13. A couple, age 67, went to the doctors officeA couple, age 67, went to the doctor’s office. The doctor asked, «What can I do for you?» The man said, «Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?» The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, «There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.» And he then charged ... Читать далее...
14. The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospitalThe medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues. In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg’s physician comes into his room and says, «Sol, I’m happy ... Читать далее...
15. Значение идиомы in store[in store] {adj.} or {adv. phr.} 1. Saved up in case of need; readyfor use or for some purpose. If the electricity goes off, we havecandles in store in the closet. The squirrel has plenty of nuts instore for the winter. Compare: IN RESERVE, IN STOCK, ON HAND. 2.Ready to happen; waiting. — Often used ... Читать далее...
16. Working from a Home OfficeAdrina: So this is your new home office. It’s nice. Victor: It’s Functional, and I like it. When my company decided to lower its Overhead by Decentralizing, it gave employees the option to work from home. When I heard that, I didn’t Think twice about making the change. Adrina: I’m not surprised. Lots of people ... Читать далее...
17. One day shortly after the birth of their new babyOne day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby ... Читать далее...
18. Serious deseaseA distraught patient phoned her doctor’s office. Was it true, the woman wanted to know, that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of her life? She was told that it was. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, «I’m wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This ... Читать далее...
19. Types of AllergiesBert: Doctor, Give it to me straight. Is my Medical condition serious? Doctor: I suspect that your Rashes and other symptoms are the result of Allergies. Bert: Allergies?! I thought I had some kind of serious Disease. Doctor: Allergies can be serious. I’m going to give you tests to see what you’re allergic to. Bert: ... Читать далее...
20. A man walks into a doctor officeA man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. «What’s the matter with me?» he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, «You’re not eating properly.»...
21. Earn it hikingA father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new 10 speed bike. «Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300.» «Easy, Dad,» the boy replied. «I earned it hiking.» «Come on,» the father said. «Tell me the truth.» «That is ... Читать далее...
22. An old woman came into her doctors officeAn old woman came into her doctor’s office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. «I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they’re soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I’ve been here, I’ve farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?» «Here’s a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three ... Читать далее...
23. Doctor and engineerA pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. [dramatic ... Читать далее...
24. A woman accompanied her husband to the doctors officeA woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, «If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die». 1.Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood. 2.At lunch time, make him a warm, ... Читать далее...
25. An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-upAn old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, «So how has life been treating you?» The old man replies,»The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when ... Читать далее...
26. A construction worker goes to the doctor and saysA construction worker goes to the doctor and says, «Doc, I’m constipated.» The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, «Lean over the table.» The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a baseball bat, and then sends him into the bathroom. He comes out a ... Читать далее...
27. The general went to the doctor for a physicalThe general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor asked him the standard questions — age, height, weight, and then he asked when was the last time the general had sex. ‘Oh,’ he mused, ‘It was 1945.’ ‘Isn’t that a long time to go without sex?’ the doctor asked. ‘I ... Читать далее...
28. A man went to the doctor to get a physicalA man went to the doctor to get a physical, after the doctor examined him, he told the man he had some bad news… he had cancer and alzheimers. The man replied, » Well, at least I don’t have cancer»...
29. An elderly couple walk into a doctor officeAn elderly couple walk into a doctor’s office. The man tells the doctor, «Doctor, we want to have a baby.» The doctor replies,»At your age I don’t think it’s possible, but I’ll give you a jar, come back in a few days with a sperm sample.» So the couple comes back a few days later. ... Читать далее...
30. Visiting a Patient in the HospitalGeorge: You’re just In time. There’s only another 20 minutes until the end of Visiting hours. Inez: I got here as soon as I could. How is Uncle Peter? George: They moved him from the Emergency ward to the Intensive care unit. He’s on Life support. Inez: How could this have happened? How could somebody ... Читать далее...
31. An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old ladyAn attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor’s office. «We have come for an examination,» said the young girl. «Alright,» said the doctor. «Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off.» «No, not me,» said the girl. «it’s my old aunt here.» «Very well,» said the doctor. «Madam, stick ... Читать далее...
32. A man goes to the doctor with a long history ofA man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. «Listen,» says the Doctor, «I have migraines, too and the advice I’m going ... Читать далее...
33. A wise choiceThe following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and a farmer with a bodily injury claim. It came from a Houston, Texas insurance agent. Attorney: «At the scene of the accident, did you tell the constable you had never felt better in your life?» Farmer: «That’s right.» Attorney: «Well, then, how is it ... Читать далее...
34. A divorced woman had been on her own for several monthsA divorced woman had been on her own for several months and was starting to get extremely horny. She went to the grocery store and while there starting eyeing the bag boy. On the way out to the car she decided to make her move. Leaning over to the boy she whispered,» You know, I’ve ... Читать далее...
35. One day a lady went to the doctors officeOne day a lady went to the doctor’s office and told the doctor that her husband wasn’t interested in her any more he just wouldn’t have sex with her anymore. So the doctor went into the back of the shop and got a bottle of 100 pills. He told her that «if you give your ... Читать далее...
36. A young lady walks into a doctors officeA young lady walks into a doctors office. «Doctor I’m suffering from a terrible discharge» The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says «how does that feel?» Young lady, «Oooh doctor that feels lovely….. …but the discharge is from my ear!!»...
37. Перевод слова physicalPhysical — физический, материальный Перевод слова The physical world — материальный мир physical body — физическое тело physical disability — физическая нетрудоспособность physical endurance — физическая выносливость The Physical did not rule in her nature. Материальное не доминировало в ее натуре. Physical activity helps burn up calories. Занятия спортом помогают сжигать калории. His Physical and ... Читать далее...
38. An old lady lived by herself in a small houseAn old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he ... Читать далее...
39. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have childrenAfter a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. «Don’t worry,» he said, «Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.» So he went home feeling ... Читать далее...
40. At the doctor’s — У доктораIs there anything more important than health? I don’t think so. «Health is the greatest wealth,» wise people say. You can’t be good at your studies or work well when you are ill. If you have a headache, heartache, toothache, backache, earache or bad pain in the stomach, if you complain of a sore throat ... Читать далее...