Delivering a baby

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1. One day shortly after the birth of their new baby One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby […]...
2. Baby bear wants to live somewhere else The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of […]...
3. A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed, but a month later, she’s still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat […]...
4. Some problems A woman gives birth by a Caesarian and passes out. When she comes to her senses, the doctor approaches her bed and says: “I’m sorry to tell you, Mrs. Smith, that your baby has some serious problems.” “What problems, doctor? I mean, when it arrives, I’ll love it. It’s my child and I’ll love it […]...
5. Перевод слова baby Baby – ребенок, младенец Перевод слова Mother’s baby – мамин любимчик, маменькин сынок the chirrup of the baby – детский щебет baby daughter – дочурка, малышка How is the Baby? Как чувствует себя ребенок? Don’t be a Baby! Не будь ребенком! The Baby’s so cute. Ребенок такой милый. Примеры из жизни Слово ‘baby’ используется во […]...
6. Hero cat saves baby from freezing to death Eat your heart out, Lassie! Masha, a long-haired tabby cat, saved the life of a baby abandoned in the streets of Russia – after she climbed into the box he was discarded in and kept him warm, health officials said. “The baby had only been outside for a few hours and thanks to Masha… he […]...
7. Значение идиомы baby grand [baby grand] {n.} A small grand piano no longer than three feet, maximally four feet. This apartment can’t take a regular grand piano, so we’ll have to buy a baby grand....
8. A pregnant woman is about to give birth A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”. […]...
9. A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas to Chicago. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and said, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?” The mother, who couldn’t think of an answer, […]...
10. A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: “What does the cow say?” Child: “Moooo!” Mother: “Great! What does the cat say?” Child: “Meow.” Mother: “Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?” And this wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied, “Bud.”...
11. There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant’s tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when […]...
12. Two storks on a nest, a father stork and baby stork Two storks on a nest, a father stork and baby stork. Baby is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. “Don’t worry Son, your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.” The next night, its fathers turn to do the job. “Son, your father will […]...
13. The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant. “Doctor,” she explained, “the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week.” The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the girl’s breasts. He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on […]...
14. The Pentagon decided one day that there were to many The Pentagon decided one day that there were to many Generals, so they decided to offer early retirement to three of them. They called Congress and asked them to vote on a method of determining each General’s early retirement bonus. After voting Congress decided that each man would choose two points of their body to […]...
15. A woman, a bus and a baby A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver has just insulted me!” The man says, “There’s no call […]...
16. Speaking to a Baby or Young Child My sister had to go out of town for a couple of days and I offered To look after her 18-month-old Twins. It wasn’t long before I realized that I was Over my head! … Colleen: Okay, you two, it’s time to go Beddy-bye. Baby: No! Colleen: Yes, let’s get your Jammies on. You can […]...
17. Having Skin Problems Mother: Doctor, this is my son Danny. I brought him in so you could look at his Rash. Doctor: Okay, Danny. Have a seat on the Exam table. How long have you had the rash? Mother: My son has had that rash for about two weeks. It Started out as a Blister, and then it […]...
18. Перевод слова deliver Deliver – доставлять, разносить, передавать Перевод слова To deliver an order to smb. – отдавать приказ кому-л. to deliver letters – разносить письма to deliver services – предоставлять, оказывать услуги Deliver the package to my home. Доставьте пакет мне домой. We will Deliver them up to the police. Мы передадим их в руки полиции. After […]...
19. Preparing for a New Baby Wanda: Oh hi, I wasn’t expecting you today. Enrique: We’ve been cleaning out our garage and your sister said I should come by with a few things for your baby. Wanda: That’s really sweet of you guys, but I’m not Due for another six months. Enrique: But you’ll need these things to get the baby’s […]...
20. For his wife’s birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake For his wife’s birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: “You are not getting older, You are just getting better.” When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top, and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.” It wasn’t until the […]...
21. Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward, “What’s wrong? What’s the emergency?” “Oh, Mister Smith, your child was just born and I have some terrible news for you. It’s disfigured.” “Well, how bad is it? Can I see?” “Follow me, sir.” They head down a restricted corridor and come to the first door. Inside, in […]...
22. FUN. FUN Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: ‘Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?’ Slim says, ‘I feel just like a newborn […]...
23. We have new babies For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about […]...
24. Значение идиомы throw the baby out with the bath [throw the baby out with the bath ] {v. phr.} To rejectall of something because part is faulty. God knows that there areweaknesses in the program, but if they act too hastily they may causethe baby to be thrown out with the bathwater....
25. Значение идиомы baby boom [baby boom] {n.} A sudden increase in the birth rate. The universities were filled to capacity due to the baby boom that followed World War II....
26. Значение идиомы baby kisser [baby kisser] {n.}, {slang} A person campaigning for votes in his quest for elected political office; such persons often kiss little children in public. Nixon was a baby kisser when he ran for Vice President with Eisenhower....
27. The meaning of life A man asked his doctor if he thought he’d live to be a hundred. The doctor asked the man, “Do you smoke or drink?” “No,” he replied, “I’ve never done either.” “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?” inquired the doctor. “No, I’ve never done any of those things either.” “Well […]...
28. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front […]...
29. A mother was teaching her three year old daughter A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end…”And lead us not into temptation”, she prayed, […]...
30. Put it to a good use The doctor comes out of the delivery room and says to the father, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Mr. Jones, but apparently your child was born with no arms, only one leg, and teeth that project six inches out of its mouth.” Mr. Jones cries, “My God! What will we do with […]...
31. My heart set A certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and he was advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to see the doctor, and the doctor said, “All right, let’s check you out. You sit down here on this stool. You put your right hand over your right eye and […]...
32. Having a Baby Patrick: Hey, congratulations! I just heard that You’re expecting. How far along are you? Cindy: Thanks. I’m Four and a half months pregnant. It feels like it! I feel huge. Patrick: You don’t look it. I bet Carlos is excited. Do you know yet if it’s a boy or a girl? Cindy: No, we don‚Aot. […]...
33. A man takes his 10 year old daughter to the doctor A man takes his 10 year old daughter to the doctor. He says “Doctor, I want to put her on the pill.” The Doctor says “Why?!? Is she sexually active?” The guy says “Nah, she just lies there like her mother.” Sent by soh...
34. In the back woods of Arkansas In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” […]...
35. Baby Boomers After World War II Americans and Europeans were busy rebuilding their countries and economies. It was a time in which soldiers came home from war camps and went back to their normal lives. In the years that followed many babies were born and the birth rates went up quickly. This generation of people became known […]...
36. An Other one Three old guys are out walking. First one says, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’ Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer.’ A man was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s […]...
37. Значение идиомы breath [breath] See: CATCH ONE’S BREATH, DRAW A LONG BREATH or TAKE A LONG BREATH, HOLD ONE’S BREATH, IN THE SAME BREATH, OUT OF BREATH, SAVE ONE’S BREATH, SECOND WIND also SECOND BREATH, TAKE ONE’S BREATH AWAY, UNDER ONE’S BREATH, WASTE ONE’S BREATH....
38. Значение идиомы from the bottom of one’s heart [from the bottom of one’s heart] or [with all one’s heart] {adv. phr.} With great feeling; sincerely. A mother loves a baby from thebottom of her heart. John thanked his rescuer from the bottom ofhis heart. The people welcomed the returning soldiers from thebottom of their hearts....
39. Fixing an ailment In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They […]...
40. Значение идиомы hit bottom [hit bottom] or [touch bottom] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To be atthe very lowest. In August there was a big supply of corn and theprice hit bottom. When Johnny failed the exam his spirits hitbottom. 2. To live through the worst; not to be able to go any lower. After all their troubles, they thought […]...