Here’s a little clarification of corporate lingo.
COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you+-
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up-well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
DUTIES WILL VARY:
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:
We have no quality control.
CAREER-MINDED:
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
APPLY IN PERSON:
If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told the position has been filled.
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:
We’ve filled the job, our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:
You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Management communicates, you, figure out what they want and do.
I’M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION: I’ve used Microsoft Office.
I’M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE: I pilfer office supplies.
MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES:
I hope you don’t ask me about all the McJobs I’ve had.
I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK:
I blame others for my mistakes.
I’M PERSONABLE:
I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co — workers.
I’M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL:
I carry a Day-Timer.
I AM ADAPTABLE:
I’ve changed jobs a lot.
I AM ON THE GO:
I’m never at my desk.
Tourism topic английский.
Watching tv for against.
Related topics:
- The corporate boat raceAn American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team became ... Читать далее...
- American Corporate Culture — Американская корпоративная культураThis corporate culture is also called Anglo-American. It appeared at the beginning of the 20th century before the Great Depression of 1920-1930. Now this kind of culture is spread widely in Americas, UK, in African countries and the Middle East. Anglo-American Corporate Culture is characterized with one lever of governance council. This very council also ... Читать далее...
- Corporate ImageAdam: With our Expansion into these new areas of business, I think we need to think seriously about changing our Corporate image. We’re much more than just a paper company now. Eva: I think you’re right. Our Brand has changed, and if we want to keep Brand loyalty, we need to think about protecting and ... Читать далее...
- German Corporate Culture — Немецкая корпоративная культураGerman Corporate Culture differs from Anglo-American Corporate Culture significantly. The main difference is that the controlling and managing functions are divided between two branches of authorities. So the management system consists of 2 parts: the Supervision Council and the Governance Cabinet. In German Corporate Culture control share holding is concentrated in the hands of wealthy ... Читать далее...
- Corporate SpyingJoachim: I’m really having Second thoughts about hiring a firm to do Corporate spying for us. I don’t want to do anything that’s Ethically questionable. Dawn: We have no choice but to do it. All of our competitors conduct corporate Espionage. Joachim: I can understand spying on our competitors, but I Draw the line at ... Читать далее...
- Corporate Gift-GivingMichelle: Why did I get Stuck with buying Corporate gifts for our clients this year? Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I’m good at buying gifts. Rafiq: It’s not because you’re a woman. It’s because you’re the most Junior employee of the company. I had the job three years ago when I started working ... Читать далее...
- Corporate SponsorshipTravis: I don’t know how we’re going to keep our free sports program going without more Funding. As it is, we’re Strapped and I don’t know how we’re going to continue. Megumi: I know you’ve been Resistant in the past, but what about Corporate sponsorship? I’m sure we can find some businesses that want to ... Читать далее...
- Understanding Corporate StructureAndrea: This Organizational chart is really confusing. Raffael: Why are you looking at that? Andrea: I have an interview next week and I’m trying To bone up on the company I’ll be interviewing with. I want to impress them, but this chart is really confusing. Raffael: Let me see. It’s a simple Flow chart. You ... Читать далее...
- A Corporate TakeoverLee: Hello, Lee Williams. Bruce: Hi, Lee. This is Bruce Eng. The reason I’m calling is to find out if there is any news about your company’s Takeover bid for Shamrock Corp. It’s been a week and I was wondering what’s happening. Lee: Hi, Bruce. I’m glad you called. I was just about to call ... Читать далее...
- Correcting Misunderstandings at WorkI work in our company’s Toledo office and I was meeting with my Counterpart in our Raleigh office. I was trying to explain to her our new proposal to make some changes in the Corporate structure. But, it wasn’t going very well. Rory: So, with the new plan, the managers would Report directly to the ... Читать далее...
- Working from a Home OfficeAdrina: So this is your new home office. It’s nice. Victor: It’s Functional, and I like it. When my company decided to lower its Overhead by Decentralizing, it gave employees the option to work from home. When I heard that, I didn’t Think twice about making the change. Adrina: I’m not surprised. Lots of people ... Читать далее...
- Hiring for a JobLast week, My administrative assistant gave notice that he was quitting in two weeks. It couldn’t have come at a worse time. It was a very busy time of the year, but there was nothing I could do. Right away, we put a Want ad in the Classifieds and received several applications for the job. ... Читать далее...
- Mistakes on a resumeThese are from actual resumes: «Personal: I’m married with 9 children. I don’t require prescription drugs. «I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don’t let them know of my immediate availability.» «Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I’m a class act ... Читать далее...
- Employee want ad translationsEnergetic self-starter: You’ll be working on commission. Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law. Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this. Fast learner: You will get no training from us. Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours. Good organizational skills: ... Читать далее...
- Giving Someone Your RecommendationJimmy: My cousin Sal said that he Put in an application for a job here. Suzanne: Yeah, that’s right. Jimmy: Well? Suzanne: Well, what? Jimmy: Are you going To hire him? Suzanne: I’m not sure. He doesn’t have any experience and he didn’t provide any References. Jimmy: I can Vouch for him. Sal is Solid. ... Читать далее...
- Unique job interviewsJob Interview Quotations Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees. A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle. Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time. Candidate ... Читать далее...
- Volunteer WorkSome people say that it’s Civic duty to «give back» to your community. That’s true but for me, I want to do some Volunteer work so that I can feel useful. I’ve been working at the same job for years and it’s not at all Rewarding. Yes, I Make good money, but I never feel ... Читать далее...
- Writing a Letter of InquiryI was Laid off from my job three months ago. Since then, I’ve been Pounding the pavement looking for another job. So far, nothing has Turned up, so I decided To take the bull by the horns and deliver Inquiry letters to every company that might have a Job opening. … Dear Ms. Smith (or ... Читать далее...
- TraditionsA man and a woman got married, and he told her : » since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for ... Читать далее...
- Business trip — КомандировкаBusiness trips are just part of doing business. A company tries to choose only its best people to represent it. Trips can happen in or out of the country. And there are as many reasons to go on a business as there are places to go: to sign contracts, to discuss terms of delivery, payment ... Читать далее...
- Working as an InternJonas: How’s your new job? Crystal: It’s not a job Exactly. It’s an Internship. Jonas: Oh, so you’re working as somebody’s Lackey and getting paid a Pittance. Crystal: No, not exactly. I’m doing a lot of Scut work and I’m not getting paid a lot, but I’m getting very valuable On-the-job experience. Jonas: Sure you ... Читать далее...
- An infamous stud with a long list of conquestsAn infamous stud with a long list of conquests walked into his neighborhood bar and ordered a drink. The bartender thought he looked worried and asked him if anything was wrong. «I’m scared out of my mind,» the stud replied. «Some pissed-off husband wrote to me and said he’d kill me if I didn’t stop ... Читать далее...
- Топик «Закупка компонентов» (Buying Components)Buying components The representatives of my company saw displayed ball bearings at the international exhibition in Frankfurt. Our company required such bearings and we sent an enquiry to the manufacturer. After the manufacturer has received our letter an engineer of their company called us and came to St. Petersburg. They offered the guarantee period of ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы fill in[fill in] {v.} 1. To write words needed in blanks; put in; fill. You should fill in all the blanks on an application for a job. 2.{informal} To tell what you should know. The new boy didn’t knowthe rules so Bob filled him in. The teacher filled in Mary aboutclass work done while she was ... Читать далее...
- Перевод слова remainRemain — оставаться, сохраняться Перевод слова If you take 3 from 8, 5 remains — если от 8 отнять 3, получится 5 let it remain as it is — пусть все останется как есть to remain at home — остаться дома to remain silent — хранить молчание We Remained friends. Мы остались друзьями. My parents ... Читать далее...
- New son-in-lawA very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. «I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,» said the man. «To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every ... Читать далее...
- Three envelopesA fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. «Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve,» he said. Well, things went along pretty ... Читать далее...
- A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golfA fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front. He sees that this is a woman and, as he catches up to her on a par 3, that, ... Читать далее...
- Finding a Niche in BusinessHello, business students. I’m here today At your professor’s request to talk to you about the importance of finding your own Niche in business. Conventional wisdom says that people in business need To diversify their Skill sets so that they can be the most flexible in whatever field they decide to enter. While there is ... Читать далее...
- Working With Unreliable PeoplePaul: What time is it? Jackie: It’s 2:30. The Cleveland office report should have been emailed to us by the end of the workday yesterday. What are we supposed to do now? Paul: If we don’t get their report, we’ll have To hold up the production of the Annual report and if that happens, somebody’s ... Читать далее...
- Performance evaluation translationsA keen analyst: Thoroughly confused. Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job. Active socially: Drinks heavily. Alert to company developments: An office gossip. Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job. Average: Not too bright. Bridge builder: Likes to compromise. Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the ... Читать далее...
- An Exclusive Guest ListCatherine: Do you have a Draft of the Guest list? We need to get the Invitations out next week. Ralph: It’s not quite done yet. I keep Going back and forth about a few people I’m not sure about, like Lacy Say. Catherine: Lacy Say? She’s a Has-been. She hasn’t been in a movie for ... Читать далее...
- Перевод слова listList — список, перечень; составлять список Перевод слова On a list — по списку to head a list — стоять первым в списке to browse through the list — просматривать список to skip through the list — пробежаться по списку She was third on the List. Она была третьей по списку. He was X’d off ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы cut teeth[cut teeth] {v. phr.} 1. To have teeth grow out through the gums. The baby was cross because he was cutting teeth. 2. or [cut eye teeth] {informal} To learn something very early in life; gain experience; start by learning or doing. — Used with a possessive, usually used with «on». The professional ball player ... Читать далее...
- Listening to Motivational SpeakersJamal: I really Dread these annual Management meetings. We usually have To sit through the most boring Motivational speakers giving us Pep talks. Cindy: I think you’ll be surprised by the person they’ve hired To kick off our meeting. She’s supposed to be a Guru on Crisis management. Jamal: Oh no, not another one. Cindy: ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы waiting list[waiting list] {n.} A list of persons waiting to get into something. The nursery school enrollment was complete, so thedirector put our child’s name on the waiting list. The landlordsaid there were no vacant apartments available, but that he would putthe Rogers’ name on the waiting list....
- Значение идиомы short list[short list] or [short-listed] {v. phr.} To place on the list ofselect finalists for a job. Only three of the twenty-sevenapplicants were short-listed for the assistant professorial vacancy inour department....
- Значение идиомы sucker list[sucker list] {n.}, {slang} A list of easily-fooled people, especially people who are easily persuaded to buy things or givemoney. The crook got hold of a sucker list and started out to sellhis worthless stock. Mr. Smith gets so many advertisements in hismail that he says he is on every sucker list in the country....
- On the Bucket List: Swimming with Pigs in the BahamasPigs aren’t usually considered the cuddliest of creatures, but when they’re swimming in the ocean-as opposed to splashing in the mud-they’re downright adorable. Want to practice your backstroke alongside Wilber? Head down to «pig beach» on Big Major Cay in the Bahaman island of Exuma, and dive right into the crystal-clear waters alongside the swine. ... Читать далее...
- A technical bastardA couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn’t, sent them off to get one. They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, ... Читать далее...
Corporate lingo list