Chem one-liners 01

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1. Chem one-liners 02 Q: How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he’ll change it three times, plot a straight line through the data, and then extrapolate to zero concentration. “A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.” Isaac Asimov said that if you want to […]...
2. Chem one-liners 04 Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? A: Methylated Spirits! Q: How many atoms in a guacamole? A:Avocado’s number. Q: What do chemists use to make guacomole? A: Avogadros. Free radicals have revolutionized chemistry. These were printed on bumper stickers and given out at an American Chemical Society meeting 10 or 12 years ago: […]...
3. Chem one-liners 03 Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn’t put it down? What’s the formula for water? – H-two-O What’s the formula for an ice cube? – H-two-O-CUBED Q: What do you get when you combine Al Gore with O2? A: Oxymoron The best chemists would […]...
4. Перевод слова chemistry Chemistry – химия Перевод слова Organic chemistry – органическая химия agricultural chemistry – агрохимия chemistry experiment – химический опыт She professes organic Chemistry. Она преподает органическую химию. The Chemistry test was a bear. Тест по химии был очень трудным. Chemistry is a closed book to me. Химия для меня – это закрытая книга....
5. Very dangerous mix This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water. Her professor observed what she was about to do, out of the corner of his eye and […]...
6. Перевод слова potassium Potassium – калий Перевод слова Potassium acetate – ацетат калия potassium glass – калийное стекло potassium hydride – гидрид калия potassium nitrite – азотистокислый калий I rather fancy Potassium cyanide. You just chew a piece, and quick curtain. Я предпочитаю цианистый калий. Вы проглатываете кусочек, и конец. We would only need Potassium bromide and acetic […]...
7. Thrown out of the lab Top Ten ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab 10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others. 9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, “Does this taste funny to you?” 8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as “KKK.” 7. […]...
8. Перевод слова carbon Carbon – углерод Перевод слова Carbon cycle – углеродный цикл carbide carbon – углерод карбида carbon protector – угольный молниеотвод C is a symbol for Carbon. С это символ углерода. Coal is a form of Carbon. Уголь – это форма углерода. Carbon monoxide is a poisonous gas. Угарный газ – это ядовитый газ. Примеры из […]...
9. Перевод слова weapon Weapon – оружие Перевод слова The nuclear weapon – ядерное оружие all-purpose weapon – универсальное оружие directed-energy weapon – лучевое оружие She learned how to handle a Weapon. Она научилась обращаться с оружием. “Stop! Drop your Weapon!” ordered the officer. – Стоять! Оружие на пол! – приказал полисмен. The teacher had to confiscate a dangerous […]...
10. Chemistry is boring IT’S OFFICIAL : CHEMISTRY LECTURES ARE A YAWN. October 9, 1995 A scientist has come up with proof of something students have known for years – chemistry lectures are boring. In an article published in the current issue of Chemistry in Britain, a university chemistry lecturer introduced a guest lecturer to a class of 50 […]...
11. Air and Water Pollution Julia: Stop Poisoning us! Stop poisoning us! Robert: Why are you Picketing in front of this factory? Julia: This factory is Polluting our air and water. They’re responsible for Contaminating the Environment with dangerous Chemicals and Waste. Robert: But your entire family works here. Aren’t you concerned you’ll cause trouble for them and the other […]...
12. Перевод слова science Science – наука, естественные науки Перевод слова Physics, chemistry and other sciences – физика, химия и другие естественные науки materials science – материаловедение exact science – точная наука pure science – чистая наука Science has taught us how atoms are made up. Наука научила нас тому, как устроены атомы. The computer is one of the […]...
13. Moonlighting Robert: You look Exhausted. You Must have been out late last night having fun. Muriel: I wish. I’ve actually started Moonlighting. I’ve decided to go back to school and need the extra money To make ends meet. Robert: Good for you. That’s great. Where are you moonlighting? Muriel: I’m working at the university library. At […]...
14. Школьные предметы (School subjects), лексика и слова по теме Russian – русский язык Literature – литература Reading – чтение Maths (Mathematics) – математика Algebra – алгебра Geometry – геометрия Geography – география History – история Social Science – обществознание Economics – экономика Biology – биология Natural History – природоведение Chemistry – химия Physics (Science) – физика Information Technology (Computer Science) – информатика Foreign Language […]...
15. Christopher Columbus was the best deal maker in history Christopher Columbus was the best deal maker in history. He left not knowing where he was going, and upon arriving, not knowing where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on borrowed money....
16. Types of Car and Vehicles Robert: Hi, I’m Robert. What are you In the market for today? Mary: I want to buy a new car, but I’m not sure what I want. Robert: Well, you’ve come to the right place. We have a very large selection of cars and Trucks – Just about any type of Vehicle you can think […]...
17. American University Grading Procedures Here is a list of the ways professors here at the American University grade their final exams: DEPT OF STATISTICS: – All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: – Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books […]...
18. Ozone Layer Ozone layer or ozonosphere, region of the stratosphere containing relatively high concentrations of ozone, located at altitudes of 12-30 mi (19-48 km) above the earth’s surface. Ozone in the ozone layer is formed by the action of solar ultraviolet light on oxygen. The ozone layer prevents most ultraviolet (UV) and other high-energy radiation from penetrating […]...
19. Chemistry song 01 The Chemistry Teacher’s Coming to Town You better not weigh You better not heat You better not react I’m telling you now The Chemistry Teacher’s coming to town. He’s collecting data He’s checking it twice He’s gonna find out The heat of melting ice The Chemistry Teacher’s coming to town. He sees you when you’re […]...
20. The math one liners Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]. If parallel lines meet at infinity – infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together! Maths Teacher: Now suppose the number of sheep is x… Student: Yes sir, but what happens if the number of sheep is not x? Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences. […]...
21. Химия/ Chemistry На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Chemistry Химия My name is Egor. I’m 15 years old and I study at a local state school. Chemistry is one of my favourite subjects at school. It is not a separate discipline. It is connected with such subjects as Biology or Physics, which I also enjoy. I […]...
22. Business one-liners 01 A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country. A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense. A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work. A bird in the bush usually […]...
23. One liners about food The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called “The Fission Chips.” On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack. A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry. A couple of kids tried using pickles […]...
24. Business one-liners 02 A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. – Milton Berle A committee is twelve men doing the work of one. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. – Abba Eban A conservative is […]...
25. Перевод слова physical Physical – физический, материальный Перевод слова The physical world – материальный мир physical body – физическое тело physical disability – физическая нетрудоспособность physical endurance – физическая выносливость The Physical did not rule in her nature. Материальное не доминировало в ее натуре. Physical activity helps burn up calories. Занятия спортом помогают сжигать калории. His Physical and […]...
26. Getting a Massage Robert: Why are you Twisting your back like that? Staci: I’m in pain. My back and shoulders really hurt. I think it’s from sitting at this computer all the time. Robert: What you need is a good Massage. It can get rid of the Knots in your Muscles and get you some Pain relief. Staci: […]...
27. Chemistry song 11 Chemistry Wonderland Gases explode, are you listenin’ In your rest tube, silver glistens A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight Walking in a chemistry wonderland. Gone away, is the buoyancy Here to stay, is the density A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight Walking in a chemistry wonderland. In the beaker we will make lead carbonate and […]...
28. Перевод слова iron Iron – железо; сила, твердость; утюжить, гладить Перевод слова Muscles of iron – стальные мускулы to rule with a rod of iron – править железной рукой the iron years of war – суровые годы войны to convert iron into steel – обращать железо в сталь the shirt is already ironed – рубашка уже выглажена Have […]...
29. Being Cautious or Thrill-Seeking Paula: Did you get an invitation to Kip and Sheri’s wedding? Robert: Yeah, I did. I’m still trying To wrap my head around the two of them getting married. Never in my wildest dreams would I put those two together. It Boggles my mind that they’re In the least compatible. Paula: What do you mean? […]...
30. Going on a Cruise Connie: I’m so excited! We’re finally taking a Cruise. Are you sure this is the Embarkation area? Robert: Yes, I’m sure. We go On board right here, see? Come on, let’s find our Cabin. Connie: Okay, but I want to go up On deck as soon as possible and look around the entire ship. Do […]...
31. Radiotrophic fungus Radiotrophic fungi are fungi which appear to use the pigment melanin to convert gamma radiation into chemical energy for growth. This proposed mechanism may be similar to anabolic pathways for the synthesis of reduced organic carbon (e. g., carbohydrates) in phototrophic organisms, which capture photons from visible light with pigments such as chlorophyll whose energy […]...
32. Once in a medieval times, there was a King who was getting sort of Once in a medieval times, there was a King who was getting sort of bored after dinner one night. He decided to hold a contest of who at the court had the mightiest “weapon”. The first knight stood up and proclaimed that he had the mightiest weapon…he pulled down his pants and tied a 5 […]...
33. Going into the Military Chantelle: Attention! Aren’t you supposed To salute? Robert: You’re not my Superior officer. Stop Goofing around. I’m busy. Chantelle: You’re Packing already? You don’t need To report to duty for two days. Are you afraid they’ll think you went AWOL? Robert: I just want to be prepared. Now, leave me alone so I can finish […]...
34. Перевод слова energetic Energetic – сильнодействующий, активный, энергичный Перевод слова The most energetic chemicals – сильнодействующие химические вещества energetic respiration – энергичное дыхание energetic compounds – энергетические соединения All men are Energetic when they are making a beginning. Все люди очень энергичны, когда приступают к какому-либо делу. Singing is a real upper. It makes me feel dizzy and […]...
35. Speaking About the Future Robert: These designs are really Futuristic-looking. Mara: I’m trying to be Forward-thinking and imagine what the world will be like in 50 to 100 years. Robert: You think that the world will be filled with Space-age gadgets like these? Mara: That’s the natural Evolution of Technology for the next 100 years, I think. We will […]...
36. Weather and climate Climate is the weather a certain place has over a long period of time. Climate has a very important influence on plants, animals and humans and is different in different parts of the world. Some scientists think that the world is becomming hotter. If you compare Moscow winter and summer temperatures at the beginning of […]...
37. Перевод слова quote Quote – цитировать, ссылаться; кавычка; назначать цену Перевод слова To quote from a book – приводить цитату из книги may I quote you on that? – можно при этом сослаться на вас? single quote – одинарная кавычка forward quote – открывающая кавычка quote a price – котировать цену quote the price – назначать цену Many […]...
38. Chemistry song 06 Quantum Chemistry On the first day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: An exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the second day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: a double integral and an exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the third day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: three orbitals, a double integral, and […]...
39. Orange penis An old man goes to the doctor and says “Dr., I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My dick is orange.” The Dr. tells him to pull down his pants and let him take a look. He has no idea what is wrong so he asks the guy if he has recently painted anything orange. […]...
40. Organic honey is a sweet success for Cuba as other bee populations suffer When the Caribbean state was no longer able to afford pesticides – which have been linked with declining bee populations – it made a virtue out of a necessity. Long known for its cigars and rum, Cuba has added organic honey to its list of key agricultural exports, creating a buzz among farmers as pesticide […]...