Chem one-liners 01

Related topics:

1. Chem one-liners 02Q: How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he’ll change it three times, plot a straight line through the data, and then extrapolate to zero concentration. «A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.» Isaac Asimov said that if you want to ... Читать далее...
2. Chem one-liners 04Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? A: Methylated Spirits! Q: How many atoms in a guacamole? A:Avocado’s number. Q: What do chemists use to make guacomole? A: Avogadros. Free radicals have revolutionized chemistry. These were printed on bumper stickers and given out at an American Chemical Society meeting 10 or 12 years ago: ... Читать далее...
3. Chem one-liners 03Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn’t put it down? What’s the formula for water? — H-two-O What’s the formula for an ice cube? — H-two-O-CUBED Q: What do you get when you combine Al Gore with O2? A: Oxymoron The best chemists would ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова chemistryChemistry — химия Перевод слова Organic chemistry — органическая химия agricultural chemistry — агрохимия chemistry experiment — химический опыт She professes organic Chemistry. Она преподает органическую химию. The Chemistry test was a bear. Тест по химии был очень трудным. Chemistry is a closed book to me. Химия для меня — это закрытая книга....
5. Chemistry song 01The Chemistry Teacher’s Coming to Town You better not weigh You better not heat You better not react I’m telling you now The Chemistry Teacher’s coming to town. He’s collecting data He’s checking it twice He’s gonna find out The heat of melting ice The Chemistry Teacher’s coming to town. He sees you when you’re ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова carbonCarbon — углерод Перевод слова Carbon cycle — углеродный цикл carbide carbon — углерод карбида carbon protector — угольный молниеотвод C is a symbol for Carbon. С это символ углерода. Coal is a form of Carbon. Уголь — это форма углерода. Carbon monoxide is a poisonous gas. Угарный газ — это ядовитый газ. Примеры из ... Читать далее...
7. Химия/ ChemistryНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Chemistry Химия My name is Egor. I’m 15 years old and I study at a local state school. Chemistry is one of my favourite subjects at school. It is not a separate discipline. It is connected with such subjects as Biology or Physics, which I also enjoy. I ... Читать далее...
8. Chemistry is boringIT’S OFFICIAL : CHEMISTRY LECTURES ARE A YAWN. October 9, 1995 A scientist has come up with proof of something students have known for years — chemistry lectures are boring. In an article published in the current issue of Chemistry in Britain, a university chemistry lecturer introduced a guest lecturer to a class of 50 ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова solutionSolution — решение, объяснение; раствор Перевод слова To discover a solution to the problem — найти решение проблемы facile solution — поверхностное заключение to make a solution — приготовить раствор The problem has a unique Solution. Задача имеет единственное решение. The Solution boiled at 57.4°C. Этот раствор кипел при 57.4°с. There’s no Solution to this ... Читать далее...
10. Ozone LayerOzone layer or ozonosphere, region of the stratosphere containing relatively high concentrations of ozone, located at altitudes of 12-30 mi (19-48 km) above the earth’s surface. Ozone in the ozone layer is formed by the action of solar ultraviolet light on oxygen. The ozone layer prevents most ultraviolet (UV) and other high-energy radiation from penetrating ... Читать далее...
11. Dietary Restrictions and PreferencesTony: Who did you Invite over for dinner Saturday? Carmela: I invited Keith, Sung, Stephanie, and Luis. Tony: You didn’t! Carmela: I did. Why? Tony: You’re going to have a hard time cooking for them. Keith is a Vegan and only eats food that’s Organic. Sung is Lactose intolerant and his doctor put him on ... Читать далее...
12. Different TreatmentsA doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. The Browns came to see the doctor. He gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests, then concluded, «Yes, I am happy ... Читать далее...
13. Chemistry song 05The Twelve Days of Chemistry On the first day of chemistry My teacher gave to me A candle from Chem Study. (second day) two asbestos pads (third day) three little beakers (fourth day) four work sheets (fifth day) five golden moles (sixth day) six flaming test tubes (seventh day) seven unknown samples (eighth day) eight ... Читать далее...
14. Heated passionsMike and Keith are playing golf one hot Sunday afternoon. While approaching the sixteenth hole, they notice an old golfer teeing up by himself. The two friends stop and wait for the older golfer to finish his hole. After the old man drives the ball a considerable distance down the fairway, he collapses on the ... Читать далее...
15. Sweet! Candy Eaters Surprisingly SlimmerThose with a sweet tooth might not need to feel so guilty about admitting it. People who eat candy and chocolate tend to have smaller waists, weigh less and have a lower body mass index (BMI) than those who don’t indulge in these treats, a new study says. In addition, candy and chocolate consumers had ... Читать далее...
16. One liners about foodThe snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called «The Fission Chips.» On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack. A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry. A couple of kids tried using pickles ... Читать далее...
17. Business one-liners 02A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. — Milton Berle A committee is twelve men doing the work of one. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. — Abba Eban A conservative is ... Читать далее...
18. The math one linersMath problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]. If parallel lines meet at infinity — infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together! Maths Teacher: Now suppose the number of sheep is x… Student: Yes sir, but what happens if the number of sheep is not x? Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences. ... Читать далее...
19. Business one-liners 01A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country. A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense. A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work. A bird in the bush usually ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова vaporVapor — испаряться, пар, испарение Перевод слова Vapor eliminator — пароотделитель water vapor circulation — циркуляция водяного пара vapor condenser — охладитель выпара These chemicals produce a noxious Vapor. Эти химикаты выделяют ядовитые испарения. A good smoke signal requires dense, visible clouds of smoke or Vapor. Хороший дымовой сигнал должен быть густым с заметными клубами ... Читать далее...
21. Don’t arrest the judgeA squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, «Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn’t be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?» «That it is, «Irish ... Читать далее...
22. Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do whatMike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best… find a woman with whom he may «commiserate». After a wild night of getting it on, it’s time for the young lady to leave. As she’s getting dressed, she and Mike are having a conversation. She says, «Lotsa guys want to ... Читать далее...
23. Перевод слова physicalPhysical — физический, материальный Перевод слова The physical world — материальный мир physical body — физическое тело physical disability — физическая нетрудоспособность physical endurance — физическая выносливость The Physical did not rule in her nature. Материальное не доминировало в ее натуре. Physical activity helps burn up calories. Занятия спортом помогают сжигать калории. His Physical and ... Читать далее...
24. Chemistry song 11Chemistry Wonderland Gases explode, are you listenin’ In your rest tube, silver glistens A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight Walking in a chemistry wonderland. Gone away, is the buoyancy Here to stay, is the density A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight Walking in a chemistry wonderland. In the beaker we will make lead carbonate and ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы rest on one’s laurels[rest on one’s laurels] {v. phr.} To be satisfied with the successyou have already won; stop trying to win new honors. Getting an Ain chemistry almost caused Mike to rest on his laurels....
26. Learning to Read MusicMike: You have a great voice. You should join our Choir. Grace: I don’t know anything about music. I can’t even Read music. Mike: It’s not that hard. I could teach you. Look, this is a Piece we’re working on right now. Grace: What’s that weird thing at the beginning? Mike: That’s the Clef. It ... Читать далее...
27. Radiotrophic fungusRadiotrophic fungi are fungi which appear to use the pigment melanin to convert gamma radiation into chemical energy for growth. This proposed mechanism may be similar to anabolic pathways for the synthesis of reduced organic carbon (e. g., carbohydrates) in phototrophic organisms, which capture photons from visible light with pigments such as chlorophyll whose energy ... Читать далее...
28. Making Ethnically or Racially Offensive RemarksMike: Did you hear what Dan said? He called me a Mick. What Decade is he living in? Patti: He’s just Ignorant. I’m sure he wasn’t trying to be Offensive. Mike: Well, I take offense. And To add insult to injury, did you hear what else he said? Patti: What? Mike: He said that he ... Читать далее...
29. Drink fault-finding guideA solution to all of your drinking troubles Symptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is wet. Fault: Mouth not open or glass being applied to wrong part of face. Solution: Buy another pint and practice in front of a mirror. Continue with as many pints as necessary until drinking technique is ... Читать далее...
30. Very dangerous mixThis was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water. Her professor observed what she was about to do, out of the corner of his eye and ... Читать далее...
31. Slight confusionOne night a police officer named Mike was working the grave-yard shift and he drove to his house around 3 A. M. in the morning. He opened the door to the bedroom quietly and took off his clothes in the dark, and got in bed with his wife. Then she said,»Honey, can you go over ... Читать далее...
32. Thrown out of the labTop Ten ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab 10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others. 9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, «Does this taste funny to you?» 8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as «KKK.» 7. ... Читать далее...
33. Перевод слова energeticEnergetic — сильнодействующий, активный, энергичный Перевод слова The most energetic chemicals — сильнодействующие химические вещества energetic respiration — энергичное дыхание energetic compounds — энергетические соединения All men are Energetic when they are making a beginning. Все люди очень энергичны, когда приступают к какому-либо делу. Singing is a real upper. It makes me feel dizzy and ... Читать далее...
34. Drugs — НаркотикиMore people are abusing drugs today than in any other time in history of mankind, and many of those people are youth. Understanding what drugs are is fundamental for understanding their potential abuse. Drugs are a psychoactive substance. A psychoactive substance is something that people take to change the way they feel, think or behave. ... Читать далее...
35. Weather and climateClimate is the weather a certain place has over a long period of time. Climate has a very important influence on plants, animals and humans and is different in different parts of the world. Some scientists think that the world is becomming hotter. If you compare Moscow winter and summer temperatures at the beginning of ... Читать далее...
36. Fixing an ailmentIn Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They ... Читать далее...
37. Genetically modified food Pro and con — Генетически модифицированная еда За и противWith the passing years and developing technology, life seems to be in the hands of machines, the latest acquisition being the production of genetically modified food. Also known as genetically engineered foods, these foods are modified by inserting genes of other species into their DNA. Against the traditional art of cropping, such foods are not ... Читать далее...
38. A dangerous animalThe preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in ... Читать далее...
39. Orange penisAn old man goes to the doctor and says «Dr., I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My dick is orange.» The Dr. tells him to pull down his pants and let him take a look. He has no idea what is wrong so he asks the guy if he has recently painted anything orange. ... Читать далее...
40. Chemistry song 06Quantum Chemistry On the first day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: An exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the second day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: a double integral and an exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the third day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: three orbitals, a double integral, and ... Читать далее...