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1. A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball rightA guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to the doctor. He says, «How bad is it doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin in every way.» ... Читать далее...
2. A husband and wife were out playing golfA husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in ... Читать далее...
3. While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand newWhile out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball. Seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to ... Читать далее...
4. A man was playing a game of golfA man was playing a game of golf, and on hole 16, he hit the ball right into a field of buttercups. As honest a golfer as he normally was, he picked up the ball and laid it next to the flowerbed to avoid destroying the beautiful buttercups. A fairy comes down and says «thank ... Читать далее...
5. Значение идиомы ball[ball] See: BASE ON BALLS, CARRY THE BALL, FLY BALL, FOUL BALL, GET THE BALL ROLLING, SET THE BALL ROLLING, START THE BALL ROLLING, GOPHER BALL, GROUND BALL, HAVE A HALL, HAVE SOMETHING ON THE BALL, JUMP BALL, KEEP THE BALL ROLLING, LONG BALL, ON THE BALL, PASSED BALL, PLAYBALL....
6. Incredible golf ballA golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, «Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!» The golfer, annoyed, says, «What is it?» «It’s a special golf ball,» says the salesman. «You can never lose ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод идиомы brand-new / brand new, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: brand-new / brand new Перевод: совершенно новый Пример: I was finally able to buy a brand-new car. Мне, наконец, удалось купить абсолютно новую машину....
8. When the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heavenWhen the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heaven. «Sorry, old man,» Peter said, «But I can’t let you in. You see the big book here says you committed one unpardonable sin back in 1978 — You took the Lord’s name in vain during a golf game.» «Oh, yes. I’ll never ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова honeymoonHoneymoon — медовый месяц Перевод слова To be on honeymoon — проводить медовый месяц to go for a honeymoon — поехать в свадебное путешествие honeymoon couple — молодожены, совершающие свадебное путешествие The neoteric fashion of spending a Honeymoon on the railway. Новая мода проводить медовый месяц в путешествии по железной дороге. They plan to Honeymoon ... Читать далее...
10. Golf lessonsA husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, «No no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!» «Well, what should I do?» asks ... Читать далее...
11. Heavenly golfMoses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green. Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over ... Читать далее...
12. Значение идиомы tee off[tee off] {v.} 1. To hit the golf ball from a small wooden peg ortee to begin play for each hole. We got to the golf course just intime to see the champion tee off. 2. {slang} To hit a ball, especially a baseball very hard or far. He teed off on the firstpitch. 3. ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова highHigh — высокий, высоко, сильно Перевод слова High ground — высокое место, возвышенность high speed — большая скорость the snow was half-leg high — снег доходил до колен the wind blows high — дует сильный ветер The river is at its Highest in spring. Весной эта река поднимается. Most people there were High on cocaine. ... Читать далее...
14. GolfA golf course Golf courses have different sizes and shapes. Most of them have 18 holes that are between a hundred and 500 metres long. If you have finished playing all 18 holes you have played a round of golf. Each hole has a starting place, called a tee. This is a small area from ... Читать далее...
15. A young couple gets married, and the groomA young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000. She confronts ... Читать далее...
16. A young man asks his fatherA young man asks his father, «Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?» The father, surprised, answers: «Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы tee up[tee up] {v.} To set the golf ball on the tee in preparation forhitting it toward the green. Arnold Palmer teed the ball up for thefinal hole....
18. Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming weddingTwo Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding… «I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not.» His buddy replies, «Oh, there’s an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, ... Читать далее...
19. A young man walks into a singles bar with a roll of quartersA young man walks into a singles bar with a roll of quarters taped inside the crotch of his jeans. He looks around, then sits next to the most attractive woman there. He was very pleased with himself after he noticed her constantly glancing down at his crotch. «Hi, there, I’m Jerry,» he said, as ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова golfGolf — гольф Перевод слова Round of golf — партия гольфа golf match — матч по гольфу devotion to golf — увлечение гольфом He is off playing Golf. Он уехал играть в гольф. He’s a real Golf fiend. Он по настоящему страстный любитель гольфа. Geoff went off to play Golf. Джефф пошел играть в гольф. ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы ground[ground] See: BREAK GROUND, COMMON GROUND, COVER GROUND or COVERTHE GROUND, CUT THE GROUND FROM UNDER, EAR TO THE GROUND, FEET ON THEGROUND, GAIN GROUND, GET OFF THE GROUND, GIVE GROUND, HAPPY HUNTINGGROUND, HOLD ONE’S GROUND, LOSE GROUND, MIDDLE GROUND, RUN INTO THEGROUND, STAMPING GROUND, STAND ONE’S GROUND, FROM THE GROUND UP....
22. Miracle Bra AlternativeMiracle Bra Alternative A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in ... Читать далее...
23. Camel DiedCamel Died A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the dessert. After a few days the camel falls over dead. After looking over the situation the priest figures neither one of them will survive the rest of the journey. The priest asks the nun «I have never seen a woman’s breasts, and ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы cover ground[cover ground] or [cover the ground] {v. phr.} 1. To go a distance; travel. Mr. Rogers likes to travel in planes, because they cover ground so quickly. 2. {informal} To move over an area at a speed that is pleasing; move quickly over a lot of ground. The new infielder really covers the ground at ... Читать далее...
25. A difficult golf gameRobert goes golfing every Saturday. One Saturday, he comes home three hours late. His wife asks him, «What took you so long?» The guy says, «That was the worst game of golf I’ve ever had. We got up to the first tee, and Charlie hit a hole-in-one and immediately dropped dead of a heart attack.» ... Читать далее...
26. A game of golfA man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his mate what happened. «Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough,» replied his friend. «Then I met a chick who was looking for her ball too. ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы honeymoon is over[honeymoon is over] The first happy period of friendship andcooperation between two persons or groups is over. A few monthsafter a new President is elected, the honeymoon is over and Congressand the President begin to criticize each other. The honeymoon wassoon over for the new foreman and the men under him....
28. At the Butcher’sButcher: What can I get for you? Gina: I’d like a pound of Ground beef, please. Butcher: Would you like the regular or the extra Lean? The extra lean is a dollar more per pound. Gina: I’ll take the regular. Could you also Throw in two thick Pork chops and two Chicken breasts? Butcher: I’m ... Читать далее...
29. At the Butcher’sButcher: What can I get for you? Gina: I’d like a pound of Ground beef, please. Butcher: Would you like the regular or the extra Lean? The extra lean is a dollar more per pound. Gina: I’ll take the regular. Could you also Throw in two thick Pork chops and two Chicken breasts? Butcher: I’m ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы sand trap[sand trap] {n.} A low place on a golf course that is filled withsand to stop the ball. The golfer lost four strokes trying to getthe ball out of the sand trap....
31. A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breastsA man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, «What are you doing?» She replies, «I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old.» The husband retorts, «Well, what did he say about your 50 year ... Читать далее...
32. Definite laws of golfLAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime. LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed ... Читать далее...
33. Slow golfers aheadJoe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. ... Читать далее...
34. When I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with big breastsIn high school, I dated a girl with big breasts, but there was no passion.. So I decided I needed a passionate girl.. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.. Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.. I ... Читать далее...
35. Once the club duffer challenged the local golf proOnce the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. «But,» said the duffer, «since you’re obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two’gotchas’.» The golf pro didn’t know what a ‘gotcha’ was, but he went along with ... Читать далее...
36. The strength of youthA young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee ... Читать далее...
37. Golf with older manA young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee ... Читать далее...
38. The alcohol troubleDuring grammar school science experiements into properties of different alcohols: The residue of each test was tipped down the sinks, which were grouped in threes. There were no U-bends, but each group of sinks emptied into a single box, which overflowed into the mains sewers. Presumably this was intended to retain things like droplets of ... Читать далее...
39. BMW thinks of everythingOn a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. «Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir» says the ... Читать далее...
40. One day, little Billy comes home from kindergartenOne day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom. He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also ... Читать далее...