What animal uses a nutcracker?
Ответ: A toothless squirrel!
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What does a dog get when it finishes obedience school?
Ответ: A pet degree.
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What is the best way to catch a squirrel?
Ответ: Climb a tree and act like a nut.
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What dog never barks no matter what you do to him?
Ответ: A hot dog.
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Who was the first to have a mobile home?
Ответ: A turtle.
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What is a dog catcher?
Ответ: A spot remover!
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Why do lions eat raw meat?
Ответ: Because they do not know how to cook.
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What do pelicans eat?
Ответ: Anything that fits the bill.
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Why does a chicken lay an egg?
Ответ: If she dropped it, it would break.
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Why should a turtle be pitied?
Ответ: Because his is a hard case.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?
Ответ: Because they do not know the words.
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What goes «Tick tock, woof woof»?
Ответ: A watch dog.
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How do keep an elephant from charging?
Ответ: Take away his credit cards.
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What did the apple say to the worm?
Ответ: You bore me.
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What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
Ответ: Nice gnawing you.
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Why did the baseball team hire a frog?
Ответ: The frog never missed a fly.
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Where do moths go to have fun?
Ответ: To the moth ball.
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How do you know when an owl is tired?
Ответ: When he doesn’t give a hoot.
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What did the bee say when he got home?
Ответ: Hi honey.
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What shellfish lifts weights?
Ответ: Mussels.
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Why did the hen lift weights?
Ответ: She needed the eggs-ercise.
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Why do owls call at night?
Ответ: Because the rates are cheaper.
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What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
Ответ: You can step in a poodle.
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What is a little dog’s favorite drink?
Ответ: Pupsi-cola.
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What is more impressive than a talking dog?
Ответ: A spelling bee.
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What kind of dog chases anything red?
Ответ: A Bulldog.
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What kind of dog does Dracula have?
Ответ: A Bloodhound.
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What kind of dog floats in the air?
Ответ: An Airedale.
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What do you get if an Airedale floats too close to the sun?
Ответ: A hot dog.
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What’s happening when you hear «woof…splat…meow…splat»?
Ответ: It’s raining cats and dogs.
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What do you call a dog that is left-handed?
Ответ: A south paw.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Ответ: Terrier-fied!
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Where do you find a no legged dog?
Ответ: Right where you left him.
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Where do young dogs sleep when they camp out?
Ответ: Pup Tents.
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Where should you never take a dog?
Ответ: To a flea market.
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Which dog tastes better when eaten?
Ответ: A hot dog.
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Which side of a dog has the most hair?
Ответ: The outside.
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Who gave the dog a black eye?
Ответ: Nobody gave it to him. He had to fight for it.
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Who is a dogs favorite comedian?
Ответ: Growlcho Marx.
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Why are dogs such poor dancers?
Ответ: They have two left feet.
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Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?
Ответ: The tomato was in a can.
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What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ответ: It doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not gonna come.
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Why did the dog jump off the Empire State Building?
Ответ: He wanted to make a hit on Broadway.
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Why did the dog jump up and down on the potato patch?
Ответ: He hoped to raise mashed potatoes.
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Why did the dog run in circles?
Ответ: He was a watchdog and needed winding.
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Why did the dog say he was an actor?
Ответ: His leg was in a cast.
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Why did the dog wear a watch?
Ответ: He wanted to be a watch dog.
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Why did the little boy name his new dog Computer?
Ответ: Because it came with lots of bytes.
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Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
Ответ: Because frost bites.
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Why do dogs turn around three times before lying down?
Ответ: One good turn deserves another.
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Why do firefighters need Dalmatians?
Ответ: To help them find the fire hydrants.
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Why does a dog scratch himself?
Ответ: Because no one else knows where it itches.
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What do you call a great dog detective?
Ответ: Sherlock Bones.
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What did the puppy say when he sat on sand paper?
Ответ: RUFF.
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What happens to the duck who flies upside down?
Ответ: He quacks up!
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What horse never goes out in the day time?
Ответ: A night mare.
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What did the dog say to the little child pulling his tail?
Ответ: That is the end of me!
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Why don’t pigs drive cars?
Ответ: They would become road hogs.
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What is the smartest kind of bee?
Ответ: A spelling bee.
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Did you hear about the cowboy who got himself a dachshund?
Ответ: Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little doggie.
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What is a mosquito’s favorite sport?
Ответ: Skin diving.
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How do you fix a broken gorilla?
Ответ: With a monkey wrench.
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What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones?
Ответ: Hush puppies!
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What is the best year for a kangaroo?
Ответ: Leap year.
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Why did the police arrest the bird?
Ответ: Because he was a robin.
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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?
Ответ: He doesn’t believe in dogs.
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Who designed Noah’s ark?
Ответ: An ark-itect.
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Why was the pig thrown out of the football game?
Ответ: For playing dirty.
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What kind of food does a race horse eat?
Ответ: Fast food.
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What is a snake’s favorite ice cream?
Ответ: Hiss-tachio.
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How do you bake a cake for Lassie?
Ответ: You start with collie flour.
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How do you know when the fish is fresh?
Ответ: When they bite your fingers.
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Where do rabbits go to have their eyes examined?
Ответ: To the hop-tometrist.
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What do you get if you cross a beagle with bread dough?
Ответ: Dog biscuits.
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What happened when the centipede broke all his feet?
Ответ: He did not have a leg to stand on.
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What bird never goes to a barber?
Ответ: A bald eagle.
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What kind of birds are most frequently found in captivity?
Ответ: Jailbirds.
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What do hens study in college?
Ответ: Egg — onomics.
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What is black and yellow and goes zzub, zzub?
Ответ: A bee flying backwards.
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How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon?
Ответ: Melon-collie!
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What is the snappiest snake?
Ответ: A garter snake.
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How is a dog like a penny?
Ответ: They both have a head and a tail.
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What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?
Ответ: Dingo Starr!
Why are mosquitoes so annoying?
Ответ: Because they get under our skin.
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What kind of leopard has red spots?
Ответ: One who has the measles.
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Which fish are the brightest?
Ответ: Sunfish.
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What bone will a dog never eat?
Ответ: A trombone.
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Which animal talks the most?
Ответ: The yak.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Ответ: Because their horns don’t work.
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Why do squirrels spend so much time in trees?
Ответ: To get away from all the nuts on the ground.
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What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
Ответ: Well, doggone!
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What kind of bandit steals cats?
Ответ: A purr-snatcher.
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Jennifer went swimming and saw a shark in the water with her, but she wasn’t afraid! Why not?
Ответ: Because it was a man-eating shark.
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What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?
Ответ: Cockerpoodledoo!
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What animal drops from the clouds?
Ответ: The rein-deer.
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What animal doesn’t play fair?
Ответ: The Cheetah.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?
Ответ: To get to the other slide.
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What do bees do with all their honey?
Ответ: They Cell it.
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What is the principal part of a horse?
Ответ: The mane part.
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Topic favourite season.
Today the life of many young.
Best riddles part 1