Home ⇒ 📌Jokes ⇒ A man took his Rottweiler to the vet

A man took his Rottweiler to the vet

A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said “My dog’s cross – eyed, is there anything you can do for him?” “Well,” said the vet, “lets have a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes. “Hmm,” says the vet, “I’m going to have to put him down” “Just because he’s cross-eyed?” says the man. “No, because he’s heavy,” says the vet.


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)

Related topics:

  1. Значение идиомы eye [eye] See: APPLE OF ONE’S EYE, BAT AN EYE or BAT AN EYELASH, BELIEVE ONE’S EYES, CATCH ONE’S EYE, CLEAR-EYED, CLOSE ONE’S EYES orSHUT ONE’S EYES, EYES OPEN, EYE OUT, EYE TO, FEAST ONE’S EYES ON, FOUR-EYES, GET THE EYE, GIVE THE EYE, GREEN-EYED MONSTER, HALF AN EYE, HAVE AN EYE ON, HAVE EYES ONLY […]...
  2. Значение идиомы misty-eyed [misty-eyed] or [dewey-eyed] {adj. phr.} 1. Having eyes damp withtears; emotional. The teacher was misty-eyed when the school gaveher a retirement gift. 2. Of the kind who cries easily; sentimental. The movie appealed to dewey-eyed girls....
  3. Значение идиомы round-eyed [round-eyed] or [wide-eyed] also [large-eyed] {adj.} Very muchsurprised; astonished; awed. The people were round-eyed when theylearned what the computer could do. The children were wide-eyed atthe sight of the Christmas tree and didn’t make a sound....
  4. Using nails on a house These two newfies are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away. This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over […]...
  5. Значение идиомы all eyes [all eyes] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Wide-eyed with surprise or curiosity; watching very closely. – Used in the predicate. At the circus the children were all eyes....
  6. Competition of a nation The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They’d have five years to breed the best fighting dog […]...
  7. Bying a horse This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend “I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I’m sending him over.” The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse. “A female horth,” the midget replies. So the […]...
  8. Значение идиомы clear-eyed [clear-eyed] {adj.} Understanding problems or events clearly; being able to tell very well the results of a way of acting. Tom is very clear-eyed. He knows he doesn’t have much chance of winning the race, but he will try his best. He is a clear-eyed and independent commentator on the news....
  9. Значение идиомы go to the dogs [go to the dogs] {v. phr.}, {informal} To go to ruin; to be ruinedor destroyed. The man went to the dogs after he started drinking. After the death of the owner, the business went to the dogs. The team went to the dogs when its best players got hurt. Compare:GO TO POT....
  10. Dogs and Light Bulbs How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh? Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp! Malamute: Let the […]...
  11. Значение идиомы stars in one’s eyes [stars in one’s eyes] {n. phr.} 1. An appearance or feeling of verygreat happiness or expectation of happiness. Mary gets stars in hereyes when she thinks of her boyfriend. 2. A belief in the possibilityof quick and lasting reforms in people and life and an eagerness tomake such changes. Some inexperienced people get stars in […]...
  12. Nuns First Hot Dog Nuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.” “Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, the […]...
  13. Перевод слова cross Cross – крест; пересекать Перевод слова Maltese cross – мальтийский крест to cross the Atlantic – пересечь Атлантический океан criss-cross of canals – сеть каналов He Crossed himself. Он перекрестился. I’ll Cross your name off. Я тебя вычеркну. Look both ways before you Cross the street. Смотрите в обе стороны, прежде чем пересечь улицу. Примеры […]...
  14. A man running a little behind schedule arrives A man running a little behind schedule arrives at a picture theatre, goes in to watch the movie that has already started, and as his eyes adjust to the darkness, he is surprised to see a dog sitting beside its master in the row ahead, intently watching the movie. It even seemed to be enjoying […]...
  15. ZHow offensive is that? How offensive is that? Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer from the wounds, A crowd has gathered to watch and sympathize with Him. As Jesus looks out over the gathering he calls to one of his apostle’s. “Paul… Paul,” He calls out. Paul hears his name and comes […]...
  16. Значение идиомы carry one’s cross [carry one’s cross] or {literary} [bear one’s cross] {v. phr.} To live with pain or trouble; keep on even though you suffer or have trouble. Weak ankles are a cross Joe carries while the other boys play basketball. We didn’t know the cheerful woman was bearing her cross, a son in prison....
  17. While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball. Seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to […]...
  18. Значение идиомы eyes open [eyes open] 1. Careful watch or attention; readiness to see. – Usually used with “for”. Keep your eyes open for a boy in a red capand sweater. The hunter had his eyes open for rabbits. Theydrove on with their eyes open for a gas station. Syn.: EYE OUT, KEEPONE’S EYES PEELED. 2. Full knowledge; especially […]...
  19. Значение идиомы heavy-handed [heavy-handed] {adj.} 1. Not skillful or graceful; clumsy. George is heavy-handed and seldom catches the ball. My sisterplays the piano badly; she is too heavy-handed. Tim told aheavy-handed joke about the principal’s baldness that embarrassedeveryone. 2. Likely to hit or punish hard; harsh or cruel in making obey. Years ago many fathers were heavy-handed bosses […]...
  20. Lost in a balloon Two hobbyists get into their balloon for an excursion. After a while, the wind unexpectedly picks up, and the balloon goes out of control. The two balloonists, with great effort, manage to keep the balloon stable, upright, and away from power lines. But they are lost. With more effort, they get the balloon near the […]...
  21. Фразовый глагол cross out / cross off – перевод и значение, пример использования Фразовый глагол: cross out / cross off Перевод: вычеркивать Пример: In some exercises, you are asked to cross out the incorrect word. В некоторых упражнениях сказано вычеркнуть неправильное слово....
  22. A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas to Chicago. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and said, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?” The mother, who couldn’t think of an answer, […]...
  23. Значение идиомы cross one’s heart [cross one’s heart] or [cross one’s heart and hope to die] {v. phr.}, {informal} To say that what you have said is surely true; promise seriously that it is true. – Often used by children in the longer form. Children often make a sign of a cross over the heart as they say it, for […]...
  24. Перевод слова heavy Heavy – тяжелый, крупный, массивный Перевод слова Heavy train – тяжеловесный состав heavy woollens – толстое шерстяное белье heavy motor – мощный двигатель Heavy rain held us back. Нас задержал сильный дождь. Suspicion is a Heavy armour. Подозрение – мощная защита. England’s Heavy defeat in yesterday’s match. Тяжелое поражение Англии во вчерашнем матче. Примеры из […]...
  25. Значение идиомы close one’s eyes [close one’s eyes] or [shut one’s eyes] {v. phr.} To refuse to see or think about. The park is beautiful if you shut your eyes to the litter. The ice was very thin, but the boys shut their eyes to the danger and went skating. Compare: OPEN ONE’S EYES....
  26. On the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their daily On the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their daily business. One wore a large cross on his chest and the other – a star of David. Of course, most of the church goers generously gave to the cross wearer and the other was overlooked. Finally the Pastor approached the Jew and […]...
  27. Значение идиомы heavy-duty [heavy-duty] {adj.} Made for long or hard use; very strong. Thelumberman used heavy-duty trucks for hauling logs down the mountains. The workers in the steel mill have heavy-duty gloves for handlinghot steel. Mrs. Carlson bought a heavy-duty cleanser to clean hergreasy oven....
  28. Значение идиомы heavy-footed [heavy-footed] {adj.} 1. Slow and clumsy in walking or movement;awkward in using your feet. The fat man tried to dance, but he wastoo heavy-footed. Martha is not fat, but she is heavy-footed andwalks noisily. 2. Awkward in choice and order of words; not smoothand graceful; clumsy. In Mary’s compositions, the words seem todance, but John’s […]...
  29. Count till fifty The teacher walked into the classroom to find words like “cunt” and “cock” scrawled all over the blackboard. “Children,” she said, addressing the classroom, “you are much too young to use vile language like that. Now we’re all going to close our eyes and count up to fifty. Then, while our eyes are closed, I […]...
  30. Перевод слова eye Eye – глаз, взгляд, мнение Перевод слова Naked eye – невооруженный глаз black eye – синяк под глазом in the eye of the law – в глазах закона I look upon the problem with a different eye – я иначе смотрю на этот вопрос All the men Eyed the beautiful girl with interest. Все мужчины […]...
  31. Значение идиомы lay eyes on [lay eyes on] or [set eyes on] {v. phr.} To see. She knew he wasdifferent as soon as she laid eyes on him. I didn’t know the man;in fact, I had never set eyes on him....
  32. Значение идиомы cross fire [cross fire] {n.} 1. Firing in a fight or battle from two or more places at once so that the lines of fire cross. The soldiers on the bridge were caught in the crossfire coming from both sides of the bridge. 2. Fast or angry talking back and forth between two or more people; also, […]...
  33. Best riddles part 1 What animal uses a nutcracker? Ответ: A toothless squirrel! —————————————– What does a dog get when it finishes obedience school? Ответ: A pet degree. —————————————– What is the best way to catch a squirrel? Ответ: Climb a tree and act like a nut. —————————————– What dog never barks no matter what you do to him? […]...
  34. Значение идиомы keep one’s eyes peeled [keep one’s eyes peeled] or [keep one’s eyes skinned] {v. phr.},{informal} To watch carefully; be always looking. The bird-watcherkept his eyes peeled for bluebirds. When the boys walked throughthe roads, they kept their eyes skinned for snakes. Compare: EYESOPEN, EYE OUT....
  35. Значение идиомы hang heavy [hang heavy] or [hang heavy on one’s hands] {v. phr.} To passslowly or uninterestingly; be boring with little to do. Thevacation time hung heavy on Dick’s hands because all his friends wereaway at camp. Compare: ON ONE’S HANDS....
  36. Fixing an ailment In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They […]...
  37. A Burglar is in Big Trouble A burglar has just made it into the house he’s intending ransacking, and he’s looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, “I can see you, and so can Jesus!” Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his […]...
  38. Перевод идиомы bear one’s cross / carry one’s cross, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: bear one’s cross / carry one’s cross Перевод: нести крест, нести бремя Пример: Raising three children on her own was the way that the woman had to bear her cross. Воспитание трех детей одной – вот бремя, которое пришлось нести этой женщине....
  39. The power of the press Two boys are playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, breaking the dog’s neck. A reporter who is strollin by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview […]...
  40. A guy was pulled over by a cop A guy was pulled over by a cop. The cop says to the guy you’re eyes are bloodshot have you been drinking. The guy says tothe cop you’re eyes are glazed have you been eating donuts Sent by paul...
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet
«
»