Man Comes To Realize His Puppies Aren’t Puppies After All

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1. Want some chicken? A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken […]...
2. A life-long city man, tired of the rat race A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a […]...
3. Beware of drunken bears The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. LOS ANGELES TIMES, October 8: People of northwestern Montana have been advised to be on the lookout for drunken bears. Black bears and grizzlies have been congregating along the tracks of the […]...
4. A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s […]...
5. UPDATE: Another Major U. S. City Has Made It Mandatory For Pet Stores To Only Sell Rescues Lawmakers in Beverly Hills are following Phoenix, Arizona’s lead. It is now illegal for pet stores in Beverly Hills to sell dogs and cats that are not from a shelter or rescue. Beverly Hills council member Lili Bosse told the Huffington Post: “I am the biggest animal lover and feel strongly about giving them a […]...
6. Перевод слова Asian Asian – азиатский, азиат Перевод слова Asian countries – страны Азии asian option – азиатский опцион central asian shepherd – среднеазиатская овчарка Is there a generic Asian mind? Существует ли типичное азиатское мышление? Two thirds of the pupils are of Asian origin. Две трети школьников имеют азиатское происхождение....
7. There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. “Hey kid!” the farmer says. “Where ya goin’ with that wire?” “Well,” the kid drawls, “this here ain’t just any ol’ wire, this here’s […]...
8. Costa Rica’s “Land Of The Strays” Is Pretty Much Paradise For Dog Lovers Imagine a place where the sun shines year-round, the average annual temperature is 73°, and more than 900 dogs with breed names like “Chubby-Tailed German Dobernauzer” and “Fire-Tailed Border Cocker” roam free across the lush landscape. Sound like Heaven? Well believe it or not, it exists right here on earth! Territorio de Zaguates, or “Land […]...
9. Перевод слова ending Ending – завершение, окончание Перевод слова Surprise ending – неожиданный конец grammatical ending – грамматическое окончание never-ending quarrel – бесконечные раздоры The story has a happy Ending. У этой истории счастливый конец. The Ending was pretty obvious. Конец был абсолютно банальным. The film has a very inconclusive Ending. У фильма очень неубедительный финал....
10. Перевод слова farmer Farmer – фермер Перевод слова Cattle farmer – скотовод, владелец животноводческой фермы collective farmer – колхозник truck farmer – огородник They work for a Farmer. Они работают у фермера. The Farmer cut at the snake with a stick. Фермер ударил змею палкой. The Farmer hitched the cart to his best horse. Фермер впряг в телегу […]...
11. Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep when the local minister comes walking around the corner. The minister says, “My, Farmer Petrovich, you’re certainly giving that sheep a beating. You wouldn’t do that to your wife, would you?” The farmer says, “I would if she farted and jumped sideways every time I tried to […]...
12. Alaskan tourism If you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public service announcement: In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear country. The bells warn away MOST bears (brown, black, etc.), but be careful because they don’t scare Grizzly Bears. Tourists are cautioned to […]...
13. A miserable rooster A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes […]...
14. Looking for a monkey wrench An old farmer is driving down a country road in his pickup truck when it starts making an awful noise. He stops the truck and crawls underneath to investigate the problem. “Hmmm…muffler’s loose. I bet I could fix that if I had a Monkey Wrench.” He says. He crawls out from underneath the truck and […]...
15. Travel with a horse An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer […]...
16. Assault with a deadly weapon: Florida man charged with throwing alligator into Wendy’s Authorities in Florida have arrested a man accused of throwing a live alligator through a restaurant’s drive-through window. Investigators identified Joshua James, of Jupiter, Fla., as the man who tossed the 3½-foot reptile into a Wendy’s last fall, according to a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission incident report. He faces three charges related to […]...
17. Перевод слова chicken Chicken – курица, курятина Перевод слова Casseroled chicken – запеченный цыпленок chicken manure – куриный помет chicken coop – курятник Don’t be such a Chicken! Не будь таким трусом! We cooked a whole Chicken. Мы варили курицу целиком. We barbecued Chicken and ribs. Мы жарили на гриле курицу и ребра....
18. Sister Ann, arent you putting on a little weight? “Sister Ann, aren’t you putting on a little weight?” inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging stomach. “Why, no Father,” answered the nun demurely, “It’s just a little gas.” A few months later Father Dan put the same question to the nun noticing her habit barely fit across her […]...
19. Перевод слова china China – фарфор Перевод слова Eggshell china – тонкий фарфор china clay – фарфоровая глина, каолин china closet – буфет A punch bowl of Bow China. Кубок для пунша из боуского фарфора. These fine China cups damage easily. Эти тонкие фарфоровые чашки легко повредить. Broken China crunched under my feet. Осколки фарфора хрустели у меня […]...
20. A farmer walked into an attorney office A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?” The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce’s.” The attorney said, “well do you have any grounds?” The farmer said, “Yea, I got about 140 acres.” The attorney said, ” No, […]...
21. Excerpts from the rural life A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “Ok, old fellow, time to retire.” The old rooster says “You can’t handle all these chickens….look at what it did to me!” The young rooster replies, “Now, […]...
22. Значение идиомы go to the dogs [go to the dogs] {v. phr.}, {informal} To go to ruin; to be ruinedor destroyed. The man went to the dogs after he started drinking. After the death of the owner, the business went to the dogs. The team went to the dogs when its best players got hurt. Compare:GO TO POT....
23. Перевод слова realize Realize – реализовать, выполнить, осознавать Перевод слова To realize one’s ambitions – осуществить свои честолюбивые замыслы our hopes were realized – наши надежды сбылись I fully realize the fact that… – я отдаю себе полный отчет в том, что… It was only later that I Realized my mistake. Только позже я понял свою ошибку. She […]...
24. Nuns First Hot Dog Nuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.” “Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, the […]...
25. Baby bear wants to live somewhere else The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of […]...
26. Ex-NBA Star Yao Ming Aims to Wean China Off Ivory and Shark Fins BEIJING – Former NBA all-star center Yao Ming is now dishing out assists to much wilder targets. After retiring from the Houston Rockets in 2011, Yao returned to China and set out to end his homeland’s traditional appetite for endangered and threatened animal products. As an ambassador for international conservation organization WildAid, Yao has campaigned […]...
27. Дикие животные/ Wild Animals На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Wild Animals Дикие животные There are two types of animals that we know: domestic and wild. While domestic animals live near people, wild animals can be found in the wild. Their habitats include the forests, the jungles, the deserts, the mountains, etc. Some of my favourite wild animals […]...
28. Diver Has Visited The Same Friendly Fish For 25 Years Beneath the surface of Japan’s Tateyama Bay stands a shrine called a torii, sacred to the Shinto religion. But more than being a place of spiritual importance, the underwater site is host to something else that’s remarkable – a unique friendship between a man and a fish. For more than two decades, a local diver […]...
29. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to […]...
30. How Yao Ming appeased the Chinese appetite for shark fin soup Yao Ming has become a hero for both basketball fans and animal lovers alike. The 7-foot-6 retired Chinese NBA player has partnered with WildAid for the last five years to help stem the demand for shark fin soup in his home country. Together, Yao and WildAid have raised awareness about the realities of a perceived […]...
31. Childhood Illnesses and Diseases Rebecca: You look exhausted! Another tough day at the Daycare center? Puneet: Yeah, it was. This is a Record year for the kids getting sick. The Chicken pox is Going around. Last year, it was the Measles. The year before that, it was the Mumps. This year, it’s the chicken pox. Rebecca: You sent the […]...
32. Animals need help Earth is in danger – Животные нуждаются в помощи Земля в опасности People have lived on our planet for many years. They lived and live on different continents, in different countries. People depend on their planet, on the sun, on animals and plants around them. People must take care of Earth. Our ecology becomes worse and worse with every new day. Many species of animals and birds […]...
33. A woman walks into her accountant’s office and A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks […]...
34. The results of statistics 1. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed 2. All polar bears are left-handed 3. If your car is stolen, there’s a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear 1. 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles 2. 80 percent of employed men wear spectacles 3. Work stuffs up your eyesight […]...
35. Types of Story Endings Hamid: I just finished a really good book. I thought the characters were Headed toward a Tragic ending, but there was a Twist near the end, and everything turned out well. It was so Satisfying! Rachel: It sounds Sappy to me. Hamid: It wasn’t sappy at all. It was just a happy ending. I know […]...
36. Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south when he decided he wanted to buy a pig. He stopped at a pig farm and told the farmer he wanted to buy a 100 pound pig. The farmer nodded, walked out into the sty, bent over and picked up a pig by its tail with […]...
37. You could Feed them a lot Faster There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would […]...
38. Perot corn Two farmers were talking at the general store. One farmer says to the other, “Did you hear about that new variety of corn called Perot corn?” The second farmer replies,”No I ain’t.” The first farmer says, “Yeah, it’s a big yielding variety. The stalk don’t grow too big, but the ears are tremendous!”...
39. Birds of a Feather There are a lot of animals on our planet. They can be wild and domestic. Wild animals are those animals who live in nature without people. Wolves, foxes, giraffes are wild animals. Domestic animals are animals who live with people, who are not really scary. People always call them “pets”. Cats, dogs, sheep are domestic […]...
40. Britain’s Ecological Activity Mankind for a long time believed that, whatever we did, the Earth would remain much the same. Now we know that it is untrue. Nature is under threat. One country’s pollution is every country’s problem. So we all need to work together to safeguard our environment. .We have a moral duty to look after our […]...