Being Diagnosed With and Treated For Cancer

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1. Перевод слова cancer Cancer – рак, беда, бедствие Перевод слова A cancer – раковая опухоль cancer detection centre – онкологический центр liver cancer – рак печени He died of Cancer last month. Он умер от рака в прошлом месяце. “How did she die?”She had Cancer.” “Как она умерла?”У нее был рак.” She works in the Cancer ward. Она […]...
2. Government says four cancer charities are shams Washington (CNN)In a rare joint action with attorneys general for each of the 50 states, the Federal Trade Commission says four cancer charities run by extended members of the same family conned donors out of $187 million from 2008 through 2012 and spent almost nothing to help actual cancer patients. Each of the charities charged […]...
3. Getting a Second Opinion Greg: Where are you going? Anne: I’m going to see another doctor to get a Second opinion. My doctor Diagnosed me with a serious Medical condition and I don’t want To take it at face value. Greg: You’re Second-guessing your doctor? Anne: No, I just want to make sure he’s right. He’s also recommending a […]...
4. A man went to the doctor to get a physical A man went to the doctor to get a physical, after the doctor examined him, he told the man he had some bad news… he had cancer and alzheimers. The man replied, ” Well, at least I don’t have cancer”...
5. Making Controversial Comments Vivian: That News commentator should be Fired for making such Inflammatory comments. At least I won’t watch this show again until she is. William: As usual, you’re Making a mountain out of a molehill. She was just expressing her opinion, Albeit a Controversial one. Vivian: Her opinion is Offensive. Mark my words: Before the end […]...
6. Having Skin Problems Mother: Doctor, this is my son Danny. I brought him in so you could look at his Rash. Doctor: Okay, Danny. Have a seat on the Exam table. How long have you had the rash? Mother: My son has had that rash for about two weeks. It Started out as a Blister, and then it […]...
7. Autism Is Not On The Rise Autism is being diagnosed more than ever, but that has nothing to do with the number of children who actually have autism. It’s confusing Autism was virtually unheard of back in 1975, when the diagnosis rate was roughly 1 in 5,000. But by 2002, that number had skyrocketed to 1 in 150. By 2012, 1 […]...
8. Giving Bad News and Condolences I was at the hospital at with my friend, Wendy. Her father was in an accident and she was waiting to talk to the doctor. Doctor: Hello, I’m Dr. Johnson. How are you holding up? Wendy: Oh, I’m fine. Is there any news? Doctor: Yes. I have examined your father’s Test results and I’m afraid […]...
9. A pregnant woman is about to give birth A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”. […]...
10. Перевод слова afford Afford – быть в состоянии, позволить себе, предоставлять Перевод слова I can’t afford the money – мне это не по средствам to afford satisfaction – давать удовлетворение to afford a luxury – позволить (себе) роскошь I can’t Afford it. Я не могу себе это позволить (купить). She could not Afford to pay. Она была не […]...
11. 97 year old man comes to his doctor looking depressed 97 year old man comes to his doctor looking depressed. He says “Doc, I think I’m impotent.” Doctor sits him down and begins the standard speech he gives to senior citizens, about how as the body ages bodily functions slow down and it is completely normal to suffer some decrease in sexual desire. How the […]...
12. A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, […]...
13. A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m […]...
14. Fixing an ailment In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They […]...
15. One day shortly after the birth of their new baby One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby […]...
16. A man comes to a doctor and A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, “Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?” “Oh, that’s not a problem for us men anymore!” announces a proud physician, “They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You […]...
17. In the back woods of Arkansas In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” […]...
18. Английские глаголы в картинках. Буква A Analyse – анализировать Amuse – веселить Allow – позволять Alert – предупреждать, извещать Agree – соглашаться Afford – позволять – иметь возможность, быть в состоянии (сделать что-л.); позволить себе (покупку, удовольствие) I can’t afford it. – Это мне не по карману. I cannot afford the time. – Мне некогда. Advise – cоветовать Apologise – извиняться […]...
19. The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues. In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg’s physician comes into his room and says, “Sol, I’m happy […]...
20. Writing a Postcard I was on vacation in Yosemite and I decided to send a Postcard to my friend, Elaine, who was on her own vacation in Europe. … Dear Elaine, I Arrived safely two days ago and I’m Having the time of my life. I met some nice people here and we’ve been Keeping each other company. […]...
21. Describing Family Relations Eri: What’s that? James: It’s an invitation to a Family reunion. Once every five years or so, someone in the family organizes one. Eri: Are you going? James: I’m not sure. It’s always a little awkward seeing Extended family. Did you know that there used to be a big Feud between my father and his […]...
22. A man goes to the doctor with a long history of A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. “Listen,” says the Doctor, “I have migraines, too and the advice I’m going […]...
23. A good idea Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, “Why do you want to join the Navy, son?” “My father said it’d be a good idea, sir.” “Oh? And what does your father do?” “He’s in the Army, sir.”...
24. Suffering from Allergies Victor: Oh, doctor, you’ve got to help me! Doctor: Try to relax. What seems to be the problem? Victor: I’m Sneezing all the time, and my eyes are Itchy and Watery. Doctor: Tilt your head back so I can take a look at your Nasal passages. You’re very congested. Victor: My Sinuses are killing me! […]...
25. Put it to a good use The doctor comes out of the delivery room and says to the father, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Mr. Jones, but apparently your child was born with no arms, only one leg, and teeth that project six inches out of its mouth.” Mr. Jones cries, “My God! What will we do with […]...
26. Перевод слова doctor Doctor – врач, доктор Перевод слова To call a doctor – вызвать врача doctor’s degree – докторская степень to go to the doctor’s – пойти к врачу My head reels, Doctor. Доктор, у меня кружится голова. Let me by, I’m a Doctor. Пропустите меня, я доктор. You want to see a Doctor. Тебе следует показаться […]...
27. An effective contraceptive After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double-wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn’t want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called […]...
28. The woman who can smell Parkinson’s disease Meet the woman from Perth whose super sense of smell could change the way Parkinson’s disease is diagnosed. Joy Milne’s husband, Les, died in June, aged 65. He worked as a consultant anaesthetist before being diagnosed with Parkinson’s at the age of 45. Joy first detected the odour on her husband Les, who was diagnosed […]...
29. Learning a Skilled Trade Jeannine: What are you going to do now that you’ve graduated from high school? Orlando: I’m going to Trade school. My father was a stone and brick Mason and my brother is a Mechanic, but I think I’m going to try something different. Jeannine: Like what? Orlando: Maybe I’ll study to become an Electrician or […]...
30. Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. “To remove that vibrator,” said the doctor, “I’m going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation.” “I don’t think I can afford that,” said Sally. “Could you just replace the batteries?”...
31. For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycle For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycle. His father said, “Son, we’d love to give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.” The next day the father saw Little Johnny heading out the front […]...
32. An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they barely made a living. Then, one day, the son hit the lottery and won $50,000. The young man rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried back home. He ran across the field, told his father the news, and handed the older man […]...
33. Surfing the Internet Isaiah: Aren’t you supposed to be working? Nancy: I just thought I would take a break and Surf the web a little. Isaiah: You’d better be careful which sites you visit. You know that Big Brother is watching. Nancy: The boss told us that, but I don’t believe it. They’re not going to care if […]...
34. An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, “So how has life been treating you?” The old man replies,”The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when […]...
35. A man took his wife to the doctors A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said “Your wife’s mind has completely gone!” To which the man replied “I’m not surprised. She’s been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!”...
36. My heart set A certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and he was advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to see the doctor, and the doctor said, “All right, let’s check you out. You sit down here on this stool. You put your right hand over your right eye and […]...
37. A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father’s house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl’s feet. “What’s this,” […]...
38. Good to be chemist REASONS TO BE A CHEMIST – All the coffee and pocket protectors you could want! – Clark Kent style safety glasses . – Exposure to all kinds of toxic and cancerous substances. – The “opportunity” to deal with irate clients asking “where are my results?” – Because it’s pHun 🙂 – Access to 100% pure […]...
39. A wife went in to see a therapist and said A wife went in to see a therapist and said, “I’ve got a big problem doctor” Every time we’re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell.” “MY dear,” the shrink said, “that’s completely natural. I don’t see what problem is?” “The problem is,” she complained, “It wakes me up.”...
40. Types of Allergies Bert: Doctor, Give it to me straight. Is my Medical condition serious? Doctor: I suspect that your Rashes and other symptoms are the result of Allergies. Bert: Allergies?! I thought I had some kind of serious Disease. Doctor: Allergies can be serious. I’m going to give you tests to see what you’re allergic to. Bert: […]...