Back in the good ole days in Texas

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1. This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hookerThis guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker says, «Say, wanna have a good time? We do things in a big way down here in Texas.» «Sure,» he says and they were off to the nearest motel. She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, «Is ... Читать далее...
2. ‘Texas’ is slang for’crazy’ in NorwayY’all already all know that Texas is known for its slang. The state is home to a slew of Southern colloquialisms as well as totally unique sayings you won’t hear anywhere else. But did you know that the word «Texas» is in itself a slang word? According to Texas Monthly, Norwegians have long used the ... Читать далее...
3. Two guys are driving through Texas whenTwo guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, «Why’d you do that? The trooper says, «You’re in ... Читать далее...
4. A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seatedA girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: «So, where y’all from?» The New York girl said, «From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.» The ... Читать далее...
5. A cattleman from West Texas diedA cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, «Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Texas.» «The gatekeeper replied, «First of all, I’m not Saint Peter and ... Читать далее...
6. A Texas game warden came upon a coyote caught in a trapSorry Texans…. A Texas game warden came upon a coyote caught in a trap. He returned to his office and called the Oklahoma game warden and told him one of his coyotes was caught in a trap. «How do you know it’s one of our coyotes?» asked the Oklahoma game warden. «Well,» replied the Texas ... Читать далее...
7. Texas — Штат ТехасTexas is the 28th American state, which is situated in the south of the country and could be denoted as the southeast continental part of the USA. Texas has border with other USA states: Arkansas, Oklahoma, New Mexico and Louisiana. The State is washed by the Gulf of Mexico. Certainly, this state has its nickname: ... Читать далее...
8. Days after ChristmasThe first day after Christmas My true love and I had a fight And so I chopped the pear tree down And burnt it, just for spite Then with a single cartridge I shot that blasted partridge My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me. The second day after Christmas I ... Читать далее...
9. At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching hisAt a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students human reproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: «Female humans are born with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?» One young woman’s answer: «Because they won’t ... Читать далее...
10. Twelve days MicrosoftTwelve days of Microsoft On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 3 ports ... Читать далее...
11. An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise shipAn old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight, so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: «Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this ... Читать далее...
12. Значение идиомы see better days[see better days] {v. phr.} 1. To enjoy a better or happier life. Mr. Smith is poor now, but he will see better days. 2. To becomeold, damaged, or useless. Used in the perfect tense. Mv blue coatis ten years old. It has seen better days. Our car wasn’t old, butit had seen better days....
13. Значение идиомы one of these days[one of these days] or [some of these days] {adv. phr.} Someday;sometime soon. One of these days Herbert will be famous. I’mgoing to do that sewing some of these days....
14. Перевод слова coachCoach — тренер; купейный вагон, второй класс Перевод слова To coach a team — тренировать команду football coach — тренер по футболу day coach — классный вагон без спальных мест This Coach always loads well. В этом вагоне много пассажирских мест. Nigel Coaches a cricket team in his spare time. В свободное время Найджел тренировал ... Читать далее...
15. 51 DAYS51 DAYS A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to th bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы dog days[dog days] {n. phr.} The hottest days of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. «The dog days are upon us,» John said. «It’s time to go swimming in the lake.»...
17. 12 Days of Windows 95On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод идиомы good old days, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: good old days Перевод: прежние времена, которые были лучше, чем настоящие Пример: In the good old days people could buy a house easier than today. В былые времена дом можно было купить проще, чем сегодня....
19. Значение идиомы days are numbered[days are numbered] does not have long to live or stay. The days of the old school building are numbered. When a man becomes ninety years old, his days are numbered....
20. Значение идиомы for days on end[for days on end] {adv. phr.} For a long time; for many days. The American tourists tried to get used to Scottish pronunciation fordays on end, but still couldn’t understand what the Scots weresaying....
21. Значение идиомы heavenly days![heavenly days!] {interj.}, {informal} Exclamation of amazement anddisbelief with negative coloring. Heavenly days! Look whathappened! The dog did it again on the Persian carpet! Compare: GOODGRIEF!...
22. Royalty and WAt Heathrow Airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent ... Читать далее...
23. In 3 Days Elon Musk’s Tesla Motors & SpaceX Went From Potential Bankruptcy to $1.8 Billion. Risk Is Worth ItElon Musk is the man behind some of the most innovative companies we know today: PayPal, Tesla, SpaceX, and Solar City. In a recent «60 Minutes» interview Musk gave great insight into his mindset and hardships. His story teaches us a lot about being willing to risk everything for something we believe in. Musk is ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод слова honorHonor — слава, почет, честь Перевод слова To honor a request — выполнять просьбу word of honor — слово чести honor camp — амер. лагерь для «почетных заключенных» I pledge my Honor. Клянусь своей честью. «We plead guilty, Your Honor.» «Мы признаем свою вину, Ваша Честь.» I pledge that I will Honor my wife. Я ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова gentlemanGentleman — джентельмен, господин Перевод слова He is a gentleman — он порядочный человек he is one of nature’s gentlemen — в нем есть прирожденное благородство gentleman’s agreement — джентльменское соглашение Ladies and Gentlemen! Дамы и господа! He deported himself like a Gentleman. Он вел себя как истинный джентльмен. Show this Gentleman how to get ... Читать далее...
26. Card gamesA cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why had she left her previous employment, she replied, «Yes, sir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked. Last night they played a game called Bridge and a lot of folks were there. As I was about ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод идиомы one of these days, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: one of these days Перевод: как-нибудь в будущем; в один из ближайших дней Пример: One of these days I am going to talk to my supervisor about moving to another department. Я собираюсь как-нибудь поговорить со своим менеджером о переводе в другое отделение....
28. Перевод идиомы dog days, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: dog days Перевод: самые жарки дни лета (обычно с начала июля по начало сентября) Пример: We like to watch baseball during the dog days of summer. В самые жаркие дни лета нам нравится смотреть бейсбол....
29. An Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenlyAn Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenly had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with her deodorizer. Two floors later a gentleman got onto the elevator. He began to sniff. The Avon lady asked, «Do you smell something?» «Why, yes, I do,» he replied. «What ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод идиомы (someone’s or something’s) days are numbered, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: (someone’s or something’s) days are numbered Перевод: дни (чего-то или кого-то) сочтены Пример: Our local cinema is struggling to survive, but it seems clear that its days are numbered. Наш местный кинотеатр делает все, чтобы не закрыться, но всем ясно, что его дни сочтены....
31. Texas Police Hit Organic Farm With Massive SWAT RaidA small organic farm in Arlington, Texas, was the target of a massive police action last week that included aerial surveillance, a SWAT raid and a 10-hour search. Members of the local police raiding party had a search warrant for marijuana plants, which they failed to find at the Garden of Eden farm. But farm ... Читать далее...
32. Communication problemThere was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and they lived in Honolulu. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы in honor of[in honor of] {prep.} As an honor to; for showing respect or thanksto. We celebrate Mother’s Day in honor of our mothers. The citydedicated a monument in honor of the general....
34. A young minister, in the first days of his first parishA young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was obliged to call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had just died. Standing before the open casket and consoling the widow, he said, «I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Vernon. But we must remember that what we ... Читать далее...
35. A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed manA few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor’s office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when ... Читать далее...
36. Read — it’s funAn elderly gentleman… Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to a doctor who was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is ... Читать далее...
37. Revised Christmas daysEffective immediately, the following economizing measures are being implemented in the «Twelve Days of Christmas» subsidiary: 1) The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance 2) Two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is ... Читать далее...
38. Joint sentenceA man was taken to court for stealing an item from a store. The man said to the judge, «Your Honor, I’m a Christian. I’ve become a new man. But I have and old nature also. It was not my new man who did wrong. It was my old man.» The judge responded, «Since it ... Читать далее...
39. A little boy and his dad are standing in lineA little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, «hey dad, look how fat that lady is!» «Shhhh, quiet son, she’ll hear you.» «But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!» «Shhhhhh, don’t say that son, it’s not nice!» ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод слова stageStage — стадия, этап; сцена Перевод слова Up stage — задняя часть сцены stage of development — стадия развития in the experimental stage — на этапе испытаний Negotiations reached a crucial Stage. Переговоры достигли решающей стадии. All the world’s a Stage. Весь мир — театр. The theatre has a revolving Stage. У театра есть вращающаяся ... Читать далее...