An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb

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1. A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly screwed she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp washing up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!! The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation, the […]...
2. Перевод слова tomb Tomb – могила, гробница Перевод слова Tomb raider – расхититель гробниц to unseal the family tomb – вскрыть семейный склеп the Sabbath of the tomb – покой могилы He slumbers underneath this Tomb. Он покоится под этим надгробием. You, lying in your marble Tomb. И ты, в своем мраморном склепе лежащий. The Tomb was inscribed […]...
3. This black guy is walking along a beach when This black guy is walking along a beach when he looks down a sees an antique lamp. Thinking that he’ll get enough money for another vial of crack, he takes the bottle home and starts to clean it. He starts rubbing the lamp, when all of a sudden a Jewish genie appears, and being a […]...
4. The third wish A young man fell in a pit one day, and found a magic lamp with a genie inside of it. The genie said, ‘I will grant you three wishes.’ The man’s first wish was to get out of the pit. **POOF** He was instantly transported out. He then wished for all the gold in the […]...
5. Could be here sooner An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. “Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.” “Heck, […]...
6. Once upon a time a man was walking down Once upon a time a man was walking down the street. He saw an ancient oil lamp in an ash can and, thinking of the Aladdin legend, he picked up and rubbed it. Sure enough, out popped a genie. “Master, I shall now grant you one wish.” The man spoke, his eyes bulging with desire. […]...
7. My daughter is your reward Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, “My dear guests. . . I have a proposition to […]...
8. The only wish Two guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface. After floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food and water. On the […]...
9. Перевод слова pool Pool – бассейн, озерцо, пруд Перевод слова Pool of blood – лужа крови depth of a pool – глубина бассейна outdoor swimming pool – открытый плавательный бассейн freshwater pool – озерцо с пресной водой Everyone jumped into the Pool. Все запрыгнули в бассейн. He shoved me into the Pool. Он столкнул меня в бассейн. The […]...
10. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]...
11. Love handles One day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach awaiting her Senate trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that had washed up on shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the sand, and lo and behold a genie popped out. “Greetings, Miss Lewinsky,” the genie said. “Since you have released me, […]...
12. Ass-corked Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass. He says, “How’d you get a cork in your ass?” The other guy says, “I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a […]...
13. Leprechaun Jokes Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total”, says the Genie. The Scottish guy says, “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s […]...
14. Значение идиомы take for granted [take for granted] {v. phr.} 1. To suppose or understand to betrue. Mr. Harper took for granted that the invitation included hiswife. A teacher cannot take it for granted that students always dotheir homework. Compare: BEG THE QUESTION. 2. To accept or becomeused to without noticing especially or saying anything. George took for granted all […]...
15. Перевод слова lamp Lamp – лампа, фонарь Перевод слова Electric lamp – электрическая лампа head lamp – автомобильная фара to plug in a lamp – включать лампу в розетку That Lamp belongs on the desk. Эта лампа обычно стоит на письменном столе. She knocked over the Lamp. Она опрокинула лампу. The bedside Lamp glowed dimly. Прикроватная лампа тускло […]...
16. Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and “splash” they’re all in the pool. The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is […]...
17. Some of the myths about marriage TOP15.Some of the myths about marriage… Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and says: “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” The husband says: “WHAT??” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional […]...
18. Перевод слова tennis Tennis – теннис Перевод слова To play tennis – играть в теннис tennis match – теннисный матч tennis queen – королева тенниса He coaches the Tennis star. Он тренирует эту звезду тенниса. I’m lousy at Tennis. Теннисист из меня никудышный. I’m really crap at Tennis. Я действительно паршиво играю теннис. rel=”nofollow”>...
19. Перевод слова final Final – завершающий, заключительный, конечный Перевод слова The final day of the term – последний день занятий the final chapter – заключительная глава this battle was final – эта битва оказалась решающей is that final? – это окончательно? He coasted through his Final exams. Он без труда сдал выпускные экзамены. You need to tackle the […]...
20. My Friend I have a very good friend. His (her) name is… Friends are very important in our life. I think one cannot live without friends. The most important thing for being good friends, to my mind, is to be ready to help one another in any situation, nevertheless how difficult it is, to support one another […]...
21. Marriage quotes 04 A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. – Guitry Ah Mozart! He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t. – Borge Always talk to your wife while you’re making love… if there’s a phone handy. An archaeologist […]...
22. Перевод слова billion Billion – миллиард Перевод слова Billion barrels liquid – миллиардов баррелей жидкости billion cub. m – миллиардов кубометров billion instructions per second – миллиардов операций в секунду We could see a Billion stars in the sky. Мы могли видеть миллиард звезд на небе. A Billion is 1 with 9 noughts after it. Миллиард – это […]...
23. Перевод идиомы let the genie out of the bottle, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: let the genie out of the bottle Перевод: выпустить джина из бутылки; допустить что-либо плохое, нежелательное, чего уже не остановить Пример: Now the press has let the genie out of the bottle, the question is what happens next. Пресса выпустила джина из бутылки, вопрос теперь в том, что будет дальше....
24. Travel in the far east Mueller is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far east country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the native people take as an insult to the royal family. Mueller is dragged off to court with his wife and mother-in-law and are sentenced to corporal punishment. Each of […]...
25. Marriage quotes 10 Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. May you grow so rich your widow’s second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish […]...
26. The guide to wife translations The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need […]...
27. Перевод слова stick Stick – палка; втыкать, вонзать; наклеивать Перевод слова To stick a spade into the earth – воткнуть лопату в землю to stick a nail into the wall – вбить гвоздь в стену fencing stick – фехтовальная палка to stick bills – расклеивать афиши He seized a Stick and struck at me. Он схватил палку и […]...
28. Four married guys go golfing Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place: First Guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second Guy: “That’s nothing, […]...
29. Passing an exam Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking […]...
30. Значение идиомы stick together [stick together] {v.} To remain close together in a situation. Stick together in the cave so that no one gets lost. The gangstuck together after the game. Bill and Bob stick together in agame or in a fight. Syn.: HANG TOGETHER....
31. What to do to get golf Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued: First Guy: “Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second Guy: […]...
32. Going crazy with confusion A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, “How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?” He got the following reply. “Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then […]...
33. Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool. When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other and said: “Did you notice the small dongs on the rich kids?” The other answered: “Yeah! It’s probably because they have toys to play with!”...
34. Trouble with the car WIFE: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor.” HUSBAND: “Water in the carburettor? That’s ridiculous.” WIFE: “I tell you the car has water in the carburettor.” HUSBAND: “You don’t even know what a carburettor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?” WIFE: “In the pool.”...
35. Everybody’s doing it This bloke was ordered from the pool for pissing in the water. “That’s ridiculous!” he shouted at the pool manager. “Everybody does it, you know.” “That may be so,” came the reply, “but usually not from the diving board.”...
36. Фразовый глагол stick by / stick with / stick to – перевод и значение, пример использования Фразовый глагол: stick by / stick with / stick to Перевод: быть верным (чему-либо или кому-либо), не оставлять, не бросать Пример: They stuck by each other in times of trouble. Они не оставили друг друга в трудные времена. You should stick to your principles no matter what. Несмотря ни на что, нужно быть верным своим […]...
37. While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball. Seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to […]...
38. My Favourite Singer (Michael Jackson) My favourite singer is Michael Jackson. I like his songs very much because they are full of energy and very melodic. I also like the way he dances. There were nine children in Michael’s family. They lived in a small fourroom house. Later he lived in a house which has seventeen rooms downstairs and sixteen […]...
39. Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. And for the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play. Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now? Bob: Darts? Bill: Nah. Bob: Shoot some pool? Bill: Nah. Bob: Cards? Bill: Nah. Hey, I’ve got an […]...
40. You are in trouble An evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself “Oh God, I’m screwed!!!!!.” There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out: “No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your […]...