An academic problem

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1. Debate about the box An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep, but they have a limited amount of building material. The engineer gets up first and makes a square fence with the material, reasoning that it’s a pretty good working solution. “No no,” says the physicist, “there’s a […]...
2. Jokes of science 02 The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist’s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. “Hmmm,” says the theorist, “That’s exactly where you’d expect to see that peak. Here’s the reason (long logical explanation follows).” In the middle of it, the experimentalist says “Wait a minute”, studies the chart for a second, and […]...
3. New scientific thoeries IV New scientific thoeries 1st RunnerUp – If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world’s great literary works in Braille....
4. Good girls vs. Bad girls Good girls loosen a few buttons when it’s hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it. Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines. Good girls blush during […]...
5. Story about infinity A very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, each with an infinite number of rooms. The hotels were across the street from each other and were owned by brothers. One evening, while everyone was out at a bar-b-que, one of the hotels burned to the ground. The brothers […]...
6. A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window […]...
7. The Engineer had just returned from a week long seminar The Engineer had just returned from a week long seminar. His boss, instead of asking about the details, asked if were sick as he looked absolutely terrible. “Well…” said the Engineer, “I met this blonde and turned out she was an engineer-in-training and wanted me to tutor her. One thing lead to another and we […]...
8. Перевод слова engineer Engineer – инженер Перевод слова Electrical engineer – инженер-электрик mechanical engineer – инженер-механик systems engineer – инженер – системный программист The Engineer stopped the train. Инженер остановил поезд. He has engaged himself to an Engineer. Он нанялся к одному инженеру. We currently have a vacancy for an Engineer. В настоящее время у нас есть вакансия […]...
9. Значение идиомы wall [wall] See: BACK TO THE WALL, BEAT ONE’S HEAD AGAINST A WALL, CLIMBTHE WALL, FORWARD WALL, HANDWRITING ON THE WALL, HOLE-IN-THE-WALL, STONE WALL or BRICK WALL, TO THE WALL....
10. And Badly-Behaved Children Josephine: Hello. Ray: Hi, Josephine, it’s Ray. We have a meeting today at 10 a. m. and I was wondering if you would mind if I brought my kids with me. Their babysitter didn’t show up. Josephine: Oh, sure. That’s no problem. Your children are so Well-behaved. Even at their age, they have Impeccable manners. […]...
11. Reaching the end of a job interview Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” The engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks […]...
12. Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. “Gentlemen,” the Devil started, “Due to the fact that […]...
13. Перевод слова practical Practical – практический, практичный, реальный Перевод слова By practical consideration – опытным путем practical experience – практический опыт good, practical housewife – хорошая, расчетливая хозяйка practical scheme – реальный план The course places emphasis on Practical work. Учебный курс, уделяет особое внимание практическим занятиям. The debate did not turn on any Practical proposition. Дебаты не […]...
14. Значение идиомы to the wall [to the wall] {adv. phr.} Into a place from which there is noescape; into a trap or corner. – Usually used after “drive” or asimilar word. John’s failing the last test drove him to the wall. The score was 12-12 in the last minute of play, but a touchdownforced the visitors to the wall. Bill […]...
15. Значение идиомы writing [writing] or [handwriting on the wall] {n. phr.}, {literary} Awarning; a message of some urgency. “This nuclear plant is about toexplode, I think,” the chief engineer said. “We’d better get out ofhere in a hurry, the handwriting is on the wall.”...
16. Hillary goes to heaven Hillary Clinton died and, Lord knows why, went to heaven. St. Peter approached her and says “Hillary, I know you’re ‘somebody’ down on Earth, but up here, you’re just another person. And, I’m swamped right now, so have a seat and I’ll get back with you as soon as I can.” So Hillary sits down […]...
17. The train has failed A large two engined train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down. “No problem,” the engineer thought, and carried on at half power. Farther on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he should inform the […]...
18. Перевод слова distance Distance – расстояние, дистанция Перевод слова Air-line distance – расстояние по прямой free distance – зазор, просвет the station is no distance at all – до станции рукой подать Our oxen scented the water at a Distance. Наш скот издали почуял воду. I heard thunder grumbling in the Distance. Я слышал, как вдалеке грохочет гром. […]...
19. Three engineering students were gathered together Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.” Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous systems many thousands of electrical connections.” The last said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would […]...
20. In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about […]...
21. Значение идиомы close-knit [close-knit] {adj.} Closely joined together by ties of love, friendship, or common interest; close. The Joneses are a close-knit family. The three boys are always together. They form a very close-knit group....
22. Doctor and engineer A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. [dramatic […]...
23. Перевод слова academic Academic – академический, педагогический Перевод слова Academic career – научная карьера academic books – учебная литература academic interest – теоретический интерес He possessed no Academic qualifications. Он не обладал научной квалификаций. This was not an Academic exercise – soldiers’ lives were at risk. Это не было чисто теоретическим занятием – жизнь солдат была в опасности. […]...
24. A group of third, fourth and fifth graders A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry. During the tour some of the children wanted to go to the toilet so it was decided that the girls would go with […]...
25. A little boy was excited about his first day at school A little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked […]...
26. Значение идиомы stone wall [stone wall] or [brick wall] {adj.} Something hard to overcome; anidea or belief that is hard to change. The students ran into abrick wall when they asked the principal to put off the examination. Dick tried to change Father’s mind about letting him use the carSaturday night, but he was up against a stone wall....
27. The real treasure An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can’t resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says, “See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a […]...
28. Purchasing the shoes A shoeseller meets a mathematician and complains that he does not know what size shoes to buy. “No problem,” says the mathematician, “there is a simple equation for that,” and he shows him the Gaussian normal distribution. The shoeseller stares some time at het equation and asks, “What is that symbol?” “That is the Greek […]...
29. A whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a party A whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a party were discussing the problem of one of their daughters, who looked very much as though she were planning to marry a Gentile boy. Everyone was disturbed about it, and I could not help interrupting. “Why not?” said I. “Let her marry a Gentile boy. I’m all […]...
30. Balls Once man came to doctor and said to him that his balls don’t work. doctor implanted to him one iron and one wooden ball. in some years they meet in the street and doctor asked him. ooo how are your balls working? the man: they work perfectly. I have 2 boys-one’s name is Robocob and […]...
31. Значение идиомы go Dutch [go Dutch] {v. phr.}, {informal} To go out for fun together buthave each person pay for himself. High school students often goDutch to basketball games. Sometimes boys and girls go Dutch ondates. The girl knew her boyfriend had little money, so sheoffered to go Dutch. Compare: DUTCH TREAT....
32. Значение идиомы hold off [hold off] {v.} 1a. To refuse to let become friendly. The president’s high rank and chilly manner held people off. Compare: KEEP AT A DISTANCE. 1b. To be rather shy or unfriendly. Perkins was a scholarly man who held off from people. Compare: KEEPAT A DISTANCE. 2. To keep away by fighting; oppose by force. […]...
33. A doctor, an engineer, and a politician A doctor, an engineer, and a politician were arguing as to which profession was older. “Well,” argued the doctor, “without a physician mankind could not have survived, so I am sure that mine is the oldest profession.” “No,” said the engineer, “before life began there was complete chaos, and it took an engineer to create […]...
34. Значение идиомы keep one’s distance [keep one’s distance] {v. phr.} To be cool toward someone; avoidbeing friendly. Mary did not like her co-worker, Betty, and kepther distance from her. Compare: KEEP ONE AT A DISTANCE....
35. This fellow dies and goes to heaven This fellow dies and goes to heaven. God offers to answer three questions. Guy: “Why are girls so pretty?” God: “So you’ll like them.” Guy: “Why are girls soft?” God: “So you’ll like them.” Guy: “Why are girls so dumb?” God: “So they’ll like you.”...
36. The homework schedule Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend […]...
37. A midget walks into the doctors and says A midget walks into the doctors and says, “Doc, I’ve got these fucking itchy balls and I can’t do anything to stop ’em itching”. The Doc says, “I can see the problem and I’ll fix it for ya” So the Doc pulls out a pair of scissors and tells the Midget to close his eyes. […]...
38. I just did all of that After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, “Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?” “Yes,” the golfer responded. “Did you […]...
39. Unkind Comments Yesterday, I was talking to an Ex-colleague of mine who, Quite frankly, has something of a Big mouth. I Bumped into him at the beach, where he was Walking his dog. Anyway, as I was saying, he’s the kind of guy that’s always Bad mouthing his Co-workers. So he Comes up to Me and says, […]...
40. Three girls died and were brought to the gates Three girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, “Before entering you must answer this simple question.” “Which is…?”, they replied in unison. “Have you been a good girl?”, he asked the first girl. […]...