A snowball

Related topics:

1. Значение идиомы have a snowball’s chance in hell [have a snowball’s chance in hell] {v. phr.} To be condemned tofailure; enjoy a zero chance of success. Pessimists used to thinkthat we had a snowball’s chance in hell to put a man on the moon; yetwe did it in July, 1969....
2. THERE WERE THREE OLD LADIES SITTING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE THERE WERE THREE OLD LADIES SITTING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE; GERTRUDE, SOPHIA, AND HARRIET. GERTRUDE SAID, “I THINK I’LL GO UPSTAIRS NOW AND TAKE A BATH.” SHE TOOK ALL HER CLOTHES OFF AS AS SHE WAS FILLING UP THE TUB, SHE HAD ONE FOOT IN THE TUB AND THE OTHER STILL OUTSIDE THE TUB. SHE […]...
3. Is Windows a Virus? No, Windows is not a virus. Here’s what viruses (viri?) do: 1. They replicate quickly – okay, Windows does that. 2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so – okay, Windows does that. 3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk – okay, Windows does […]...
4. Abraham wants to upgrade his PC to Windows 95 Abraham wants to upgrade his PC to Windows 95. Isaac is incredulous. ‘Pop,’ he says, ‘you can’t run Windows 95 on your old, slow 386. Everyone knows that you need at least a fast 486 with a minimum of 16 megs of memory in order to multitask effectively with Windows 95.’ But Abraham, the man […]...
5. A Routine Procedure Julia: Aren’t you nervous about your Surgery next week? Hugh: No, it’s a Routine procedure. I don’t even need To be admitted overnight. Julia: But aren’t you going under General anesthesia? It’s not the same as Local anesthesia, you know. Hugh: Yes, I know. This is an Out-patient procedure. If the doctors don’t think I […]...
6. HOW TO COOK A TURKEY! HOW TO COOK A TURKEY! (The Thanksgiving Special) Step 1:Go buy a turkey Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey (scotch) of JD Step 3: Put turkey in the oven Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink Step […]...
7. Heating and Cooling a Home Carla: It’s Freezing in here! Why is the Air conditioner on? Trent: I just finished exercising and I’m Sweating like a pig. Carla: That’s no reason to turn the A/C on Full blast! I’m cold. I’m turning on the Heat for a little while. Trent: Are you crazy? It’s 70 Degrees outside! Carla: I’m no […]...
8. Fire and Firefighters Rebecca: Look, there’s Smoke coming from six Stories up. Hugh: Yes, I know. Didn’t you hear the Fire alarm go off upstairs a few minutes ago? Rebecca: No, but I’m really glad there’s a Fire station only a few blocks away. Hey look, there’s the Fire engine. Here come the Firefighters! Hugh: Yeah, let’s get […]...
9. The only wish Two guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface. After floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food and water. On the […]...
10. Перевод слова heat Heat – жара, зной, жар, нагревать Перевод слова Summer heat – летний зной to suffer from the heat – страдать от жары her face flushed with sudden heat – ее щеки вдруг запылали to heat up some water – нагреть воды Heat makes you sweat. Из-за жары вы потеете. The room Heated up quickly. Комната […]...
11. Перевод слова melt Melt – таять, плавиться Перевод слова Tuna melt – сандвич с тунцом и плавленым сыром melt out – выплавлять to melt with love – таять от любви The sun Melted the ice. Солнце растопило лед. The sugar Melted in the tea. Сахар растворился в чае. The wax was Melted out. Воск расплавился....
12. Перевод слова stair Stair – лестница, ступенька Перевод слова Flight of stairs – лестничный марш above stairs – в жилых комнатах; “наверху” below stairs – в кухне и в помещении для прислуги The Stairs are steep. Эта лестница крутая. The Stairs lead to the roof. Эта лестница ведет на крышу. He waited at the foot of the Stairs. […]...
13. Rooms in a House I don’t like cats. That’s not really true. I like cats, but they don’t like me. Last week, my friend Sara asked me To babysit her cat for two days while she was out of town. Normally, I would have said no, but she was In a jam, so I said okay. As I said, […]...
14. Dinner prepared by kids A Thanksgiving Cookbook by Mrs. Geraghty’s Kindergarten Class NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be reponsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook. Ivette – Banana Pie You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it. Russell – Turkey You cut the […]...
15. Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said, “Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open.” He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his zipper was […]...
16. Having a Frightening Experience Oliver: I had the most Hair-raising experience of my life this past weekend. Alena: What happened? Oliver: You know that George bought an old house, right? Well, he’s been telling us that it’s Haunted, so for a Lark, a few of us decided to spend the weekend there to see if we would have any […]...
17. Перевод слова middle Middle – середина Перевод слова In the middle of – посреди, посередине middle-aged man – человек среднего возраста the middle orders – средние слои общества I’m in the Middle of writing a letter. Я как раз сейчас пишу письмо. He was standing in the Middle of the room. Он стоял посреди комнаты. You must steer […]...
18. Значение идиомы throw open [throw open] 1. To open wide with a sudden or strong movement. He dashed in and threw open the windows. 2. To remove limits from. The Homestead Act threw open the West. When a hurricane and floodleft many people homeless, public buildings were thrown open toshelter them....
19. Mick was sitting at the pub telling his mate Harry Mick was sitting at the pub telling his mate Harry about a disturbing thing that happened the night before. “Last night I came home from the pub pissed as a tick, so I hopped into bed and started feeling up me missus. After a few strokes of her firm arse she got aroused and then […]...
20. Alter thanksgiving day 1. During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say, “See mom, I told you they wouldn’t notice that the turkey was four months past its expiration date. You were worried for nothing.” 2. When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful for, say, “I’m thankful I didn’t get caught” and […]...
21. The pro football turkey The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive […]...
22. One day a housewife was going about the usual business One day a housewife was going about the usual business of cleaning the house, when she suddenly felt intensely horny. Unfortunately, her husband was still at work, so she resorted to stripping off all her clothes and started to masturbate. She got very excited, rubbing herself and moaning, and when her husband walked in, she […]...
23. The most painful part A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice the girl knew just as much about the game as themselves, and are really impressed. After the game they ask her, “How is it that you know so much about baseball?” She says, “Well, I […]...
24. Stupid people fearing WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind […]...
25. Catching the bear Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran […]...
26. How Army policy began This is Army policy all begins… Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes […]...
27. Picking a Fight I was sitting at my local bar waiting for my friends to arrive to watch the game. Two guys sitting a few seats away kept giving me strange looks, and one of them said, “What are you looking at?” I looked around to make sure that he was speaking to me, and before I could […]...
28. Unconventional Marriages Karam: You and Daniel have been dating for over a year. Are you guys thinking of Tying the knot? Raphaela: I’m not sure. Neither Daniel nor I believe in following Conventions. We’re both open to an Unconventional relationship. Karam: What kind of unconventional relationship? Raphaela: Many different kinds. We’re very Open-minded. Karam: Okay, for instance, […]...
29. Dangerous Freeway Driving I do a lot of driving in my job. You would think that driving several hours Each way would Get old really fast, but I have ways of making an Interminable drive seem much more exciting. I like to drive fast on the freeways. I usually Pass all of the slower cars by staying in […]...
30. Ten Signs That You’re At A Bad Zoo 1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino […]...
31. Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to select his first punishment. First room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. The new guy not keen on this asks to see the next room. The next room […]...
32. Punishment for Gates Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you’ll be locked […]...
33. Значение идиомы after hours [after hours] {adv. or adj. phr.} Not during the regular, correct, or usual time; going on or open after the usual hours. The store was cleaned and swept out after hours. The children had a secret after hours party when they were supposed to be in bed....
34. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands There’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on […]...
35. Performing an Intervention Petra: Hey, what’s going on here? Why are all of you here in my apartment? Johann: Your family and close friends are here to perform an Intervention. We feel that you have a problem that is negatively Affecting your life and the lives of the people around you. Petra: An intervention?! I don’t need an […]...
36. Diary Entries AUG. 12 Moved to our new home in Ohio. It is so beautiful here. The hills are so majestic. I can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. I love it here. OCT. 14 Ohio is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turned all the colors and shades of red […]...
37. Being an Early or Late Riser Spiro: Hey, Watch out! Nancy: Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there. I thought I would be the only person Up at the crack of dawn. What are you doing sitting on the Stoop at this Ungodly hour? Spiro: I’m trying To turn over a new leaf. Nancy: What do you mean? Spiro: I’m […]...
38. There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane. At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess collecting tickets. When the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat and exposed himself. The stewardess said, “I’m sorry sir. You have to show your ticket here, not […]...
39. An elderly couple in a senior home An elderly couple in a senior’s home used to visit the recreation room everyday. While there, the old lady would sit quite contently holding the old guys’s penis. One day she goes down to the rec. room and is mortified to find her man with another women holding his penis. “What’s she got that I […]...
40. The stupid questions The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records. Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning? Q: What happened then? A: He told me, […]...