A snowball

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1. Значение идиомы have a snowball’s chance in hell[have a snowball’s chance in hell] {v. phr.} To be condemned tofailure; enjoy a zero chance of success. Pessimists used to thinkthat we had a snowball’s chance in hell to put a man on the moon; yetwe did it in July, 1969....
2. Значение идиомы sucker list[sucker list] {n.}, {slang} A list of easily-fooled people, especially people who are easily persuaded to buy things or givemoney. The crook got hold of a sucker list and started out to sellhis worthless stock. Mr. Smith gets so many advertisements in hismail that he says he is on every sucker list in the country....
3. More dorm jokesI can’t resist a few: 1. Once you have stolen a dormmate’s room keys, the room is yours to plunder. As a variation, steal the dorm keys but reverse the lock (so the keyhole faces INTO the room); we had a mechanical engineer who got this down to about 20 seconds. Then loudly announce to ... Читать далее...
4. There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the marketThere was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова sectionSection — секция, деталь, отдел Перевод слова A building made in sections — разборная постройка grapefruit section — долька грейпфрута the southern section of the route — южный участок дороги Peel and Section the orange. Очистите от кожуры и разделите апельсин на дольки. The baby was delivered by Caesarean Section. Младенец родился с помощью кесарева ... Читать далее...
6. Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark SuckersFor years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don’t emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labs spokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass ... Читать далее...
7. Значение идиомы section gang[section gang] or [section crew] {n.} A group of railroad workerswho watch and repair a number of miles of track. The section crewwas called out to fix the broken bridge....
8. The most painful partA group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice the girl knew just as much about the game as themselves, and are really impressed. After the game they ask her, «How is it that you know so much about baseball?» She says, «Well, I ... Читать далее...
9. Participating in Winter SportsHanna: It’s finally Snowing outside! Soon we’ll be able to get out the Sled. Ahmed: Sledding is for kids. I’m going Downhill skiing as soon as there’s enough Powder. I can’t wait to feel the wind in my hair as I Careen down the side of a mountain. Hanna: You’re more likely to be on ... Читать далее...
10. Перевод сленгового выражения sucker, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: sucker Перевод: кто-либо, кого легко обмануть, надуть; кто-либо, кто легко поддается впечатлению; глупец, болван Пример: I’m a sucker when it comes to classic cars. Меня легко впечатлить, когда речь идет о машинах....
11. A folk remedyA man’s wife had been in a coma for several days following a particularly nasty knock on the head. As usual, one of the nurses in the hospital was giving her a wash in bed. As she washed down the woman’s body, she sponged her pubic hair. Out of the corner of her eye she ... Читать далее...
12. Studly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekickStudly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekick are perched near the front door of the girls’ dorm. Several plain Janes walk by as the two converse. Then a Sharon Stone look-alike emerges from the dorm and saunters past. Romeo turns, smiles, and — barely audibly — inquires, «Tickle your ass with a feather?» The ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы section hand[section hand] {n.} A worker who repairs railway track; one of themen in a section gang. The section hands moved off the track whilethe train went by....
14. An elderly couple in a senior homeAn elderly couple in a senior’s home used to visit the recreation room everyday. While there, the old lady would sit quite contently holding the old guys’s penis. One day she goes down to the rec. room and is mortified to find her man with another women holding his penis. «What’s she got that I ... Читать далее...
15. Значение идиомы word for word[word for word] {adv. phr.} In exactly the same words. Marycopied Sally’s composition word for word. Joan repeated theconversation word for word. She learned the poem many years agobut she recited it word for word....
16. The only wishTwo guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface. After floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food and water. On the ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова suggestSuggest — предлагать, намекать, предполагать Перевод слова Suggest a hypothesis — выдвинуть гипотезу suggest that perhaps — высказать предположение, что what suggested that thought? — что навело вас на эту мысль? I Suggested waiting. Я предложил подождать. He Suggested a visit to the gallery. Он посоветовал посетить галерею. What does this shape Suggest to you? ... Читать далее...
18. An easy solutionOn a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, «I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.» Not wanting to argue ... Читать далее...
19. What to do to get golfFour married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued: First Guy: «Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.» Second Guy: ... Читать далее...
20. Four married guys go golfingFour married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place: First Guy: «You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.» Second Guy: «That’s nothing, ... Читать далее...
21. ViolaQ: What is a chord? A: Three violists playing in unison. Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One. Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. Q: What is the difference between ... Читать далее...
22. A blonde bought two horses, and could never rememberA blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse’s tail and our friend was stuck ... Читать далее...
23. Значение идиомы word[word] See: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, AS GOOD AS ONE’S WORD, BY WORD OF MOUTH, EAT ONE’S WORDS, FROM THE WORD «GO», GET A WORD IN, GET THE MESSAGE or GET THE WORD, HANG ON THE WORDS OF, IN BRIEF or INA WORD, IN SO MANY WORDS, LAST WORD, MAN OF FEW WORDS, MAN ... Читать далее...
24. Two guys are driving through Texas whenTwo guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, «Why’d you do that? The trooper says, «You’re in ... Читать далее...
25. Buying Fake ProductsLindsay: Look at this Designer bag I bought. It was such a Steal! Rafael: Let me see that. You do know that this is an Imitation, not The real thing, right? Lindsay: What do you mean? Of course it’s real. Rafael: Where did you buy it? Lindsay: Well, there was a guy on the street ... Читать далее...
26. Buying Fake ProductsLindsay: Look at this Designer bag I bought. It was such a Steal! Rafael: Let me see that. You do know that this is an Imitation, not The real thing, right? Lindsay: What do you mean? Of course it’s real. Rafael: Where did you buy it? Lindsay: Well, there was a guy on the street ... Читать далее...
27. Doctor and engineerA pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. [dramatic ... Читать далее...
28. An elderly woman entered a large furniture storeAn elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. «Is there something in particular I can show you?» he asked. «Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa.» «You mean a sectional sofa,» he suggested. «Sectional schmectional.» she bitterly retorted. «All I want is an occasional piece in ... Читать далее...
29. Russia JokesWhat’s meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union? It’s when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party’s. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
30. Ass-corkedTwo guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass. He says, «How’d you get a cork in your ass?» The other guy says, «I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы half-hearted[half-hearted] {adj.} Lacking enthusiasm or interest. Phil madeseveral half-hearted attempts to learn word processing, but we couldsee that he didn’t really like it....
32. An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to CaliforniaAn old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers, «Operator, giff me beck the party!» She says, «I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to make the call all over again.» He says, «What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da party.» She ... Читать далее...
33. The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignmentThe CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment. They were down to three recruits, two men and one woman. Only one could get the position. As a final test each recruit was led down a hallway to a large gray door. The CIA agents say to the first man, «We need to know that ... Читать далее...
34. A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuitA big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher’s prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace ... Читать далее...
35. A game of Animal FootballThe animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. «I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I’ve seen it on T. V.» He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to ... Читать далее...
36. Beautiful — in a sentenceThe teacher says, «Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use a word in a sentence. Today’s word is «beautiful». Little Sally, would you please come up here and use «beautiful» in a sentence?» Little Sally walked to the front of the room, thought for ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы half[half] See: GO HALVES, GO OFF HALF-COCKED also GO OFF AT HALF COCK, IN HALF, SIX OF ONE AND HALF-A-DOZEN OF THE OTHER, TIME AND A HALF, TOO-BY HALF....
38. A Trip to New York City(The phone rings.) Lucy: Hello. Jeff: Hey Lucy, it’s Jeff. Lucy: Hey, welcome back. How was your vacation? Jeff: Oh, it was great. The seven days in New York was a Blast. Lucy: Oh, yeah? Did you do any sightseeing or just visit with friends? Jeff: I got to do both, actually. First, I saw ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы half-and-half[half-and-half ] {adj.} As much one thing as the other. Weasked the coach if more boys than girls were interested in debating, and he said it was about half-and-half. The show last night wasneither very good nor very poor — just half-and-half. Compare:FIFTY-FIFTY....
40. Using an Instruction ManualAretha: Oh, here’s the Instruction manual. I’ll read you the Section on “getting started.” Carl: No, you don’t need to do that. I know how to do the Installation. Aretha: But don’t you want to hear about the different Functions and Specifications? Carl: There’ll be time for that after everything is Hooked up and we ... Читать далее...