A man sat quietly reading his morning paper

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1. This man was sitting quietly reading his paper This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Man: “What was that for?” Wife: “What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written […]...
2. Reading the Newspaper I Fell into the habit of reading the newspaper every morning when I was a kid. Back then, there used to be two daily newspapers-morning Edition and an afternoon edition. Nowadays, of course, many cities in the U. S. have just a morning paper. I’m not too Picky about which newspaper I read, although When […]...
3. The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning, walking round his new parish, after leaving his wife in bed with the Sunday papers, her cup of tea, and a pack of cigarettes. One of the old villagers came up to him and said. “Good morning Vicar, how be you and the wife?” The Vicar […]...
4. Перевод слова paper Paper – бумага, документ, газета Перевод слова Correspondence paper – писчая бумага высокого качества to cover a wall with paper – оклеивать стену обоями working paper – рабочий документ Paper is made from wood. Бумага изготовлена из натурального дерева. Make a hole in the Paper. Проделайте в бумаге отверстие. Have you seen today’s Paper? Вы […]...
5. On Christmas morning a cop on horseback On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?” The kid says, “Yeah.” The cop says, “Well, next year tell Santa to […]...
6. Значение идиомы bad paper [bad paper] {n.}, {slang} 1. A check for which there are no funds in the bank. 2. Counterfeit paper money. Why are you so mad? – I was paid with some bad paper....
7. Перевод слова morning Morning – утро Перевод слова In the morning – утром on the morning of the first of June – утром первого июня late morning – позднее утро from morning to night – с утра до вечера Good Morning! Доброе утро! He lay in bed all Morning. Он лежал в постели все утро. It was two […]...
8. Silent treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and […]...
9. They’re Boasting about Race Records Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!” Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!” “Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!”, says another, flicking […]...
10. Значение идиомы on paper [on paper] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} Judging by appearances only andnot by past performance; in theory; theoretically. On paper, theAmerican colonies should have lost the Revolutionary War. Thefootball team lost many games, even though they looked good on paper....
11. Reading Magazines I’m The first to admit that I’m Hooked on reading magazines. I’ve been this way As long as I can remember. I love picking up magazines about different topics. Currently, I Subscribe to about six or seven magazines, although when I was getting Professional journals during my days at the university, I probably had 15 […]...
12. Перевод слова reading Reading – чтение, начитанность Перевод слова To teach reading and writing – обучать чтению и письму a man of wide reading – эрудит, весьма начитанный человек readings from Shakespeare – исполнение чтецом отрывков из произведений Шекспира reading glasses – очки для чтения I need glasses for Reading. Для чтения мне нужны очки. Reading makes my […]...
13. Перевод идиомы the small hours (of the night / morning) / the wee hours (of the night / morning), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: the small hours (of the night / morning) / the wee hours (of the night / morning) Перевод: рассвет или время перед рассветом; часы после полуночи Пример: My father likes to read the newspaper in the small hours of the night. Моему отцу нравится читать газеты по ночам....
14. Перевод слова reading-room Reading-room – читальный зал, читальня Перевод слова Village reading room – изба-читальня public reading room – публичный читальный зал village library and reading room – изба-читальня She never left the Reading room unlocked. Она никогда не оставляла открытым читальный зал. I needed to clear the Reading room for Anzac Day. Мне нужно убрать читальный зал […]...
15. Значение идиомы morning after [morning after] {n.}, {slang} The effects of drinking liquor orstaying up late as felt the next morning; a hangover. One of thetroubles of drinking too much liquor is the morning after. Mr. Smith woke up with a big headache and knew it was the morning after....
16. Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and […]...
17. A talking horse A travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. “Yes sir, I’m a fine horse. I’ve run in 25 races and won over??5 million. I keep my […]...
18. Значение идиомы brown paper bag [brown paper bag] {n.}, {slang}, {citizen’s band radio jargon} An unmarked police car. The beaver got a Christmas card because she didn’t notice the brown paper bag at her back door. See: PLAIN WHITE WRAPPER....
19. Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, “How was I born?” “The stork brought you to us.” “Oh,” said Little Johnny. “Well, how did you and daddy get born?” he asked. “Oh, the stork brought us too.” “So. . . how were grandpa and grandma born?” “Well, darling, the stork […]...
20. In 1975, a Cat Co-Authored a Physics Paper When one reads a physics paper in an esteemed journal, one does not generally wonder if it was written by a cat. But such was the case for an article in the 1970s credited to co-author F. D. C. Willard-the Cat Who Published. Jack H. Hetherington was a professor of physics at Michigan State University […]...
21. Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went […]...
22. Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. “Listen to this,” she said. “There’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium.” “Hmmm,” her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing […]...
23. How to write a paper 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at the third floor, on the way back […]...
24. One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said […]...
25. Preparing a Paper Student: I wonder if I could ask you some questions about our paper, professor. Do you want us to Cite our Sources in the Footnotes? Professor: You should use Endnotes for longer explanations. Otherwise, just follow the Style sheet I passed out for Citations in your paper. Student: I see. And what about the Cover […]...
26. Be afraid if you annoy this husband A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman’s horse mis-steps and jostles the man’s wife. Once across the stream, the man dismounts, […]...
27. Plagiarizing a Paper Paul: All done. Samantha: You’re done with your Paper? How can that be? I’m just getting started. Paul: I’m just a better student than you are. Samantha: Let me see that. You didn’t write this. Paul: No, I didn’t. I downloaded somebody’s paper from some website and Slapped my name on it. The professor will […]...
28. Перевод идиомы wee hours (of the night / morning), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: wee hours (of the night / morning) Перевод: часы, следующие непосредственно после полуночи; предрассветные часы Пример: I read my book into the wee hours of the morning. Я читал книгу до рассвета....
29. Reading Food Labels Amy: Put a big bag of those potato chips in the basket. Giorgio: Have you read the Nutritional label on these chips? Amy: No, but look. This doesn’t have very much Saturated fat, Trans fat, or Sodium. Giorgio: Look at the Serving size. It’s three potato chips. How often do you stop at three chips? […]...
30. After church on Sunday morning, a young boy After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided I’m going to be a minister when I grow up. “That’s okay with us,” the mother said, “But what made you decide to be a minister?” “Well,” the boy replied, “I’ll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, […]...
31. Reading and Processing Emails Every day I feel more and more Overwhelmed by email. Once I turn on my computer and look at my Inbox, I Get sucked into reading and responding to Emails. I have a personal email account and an email account for work. With my work email, I try to take an organized Approach. I scan […]...
32. Polygamy and A child at a Christian school was studying the early days of Mormonism in his class. He wrote on his paper, “The early Mormons believed in having more than one wife. This is called polygamy. But we believe in having only one wife. This is called monotony”...
33. The pleasure of reading В топике Удовольствие от чтения – я рассказываю о том, как сильно я люблю читать книги. Книги учат нас, что правильно и что неправильно, учат понимать мир и людей в нем, воспитывают человека и обогащают его интеллект. Книги – источник эмоционального вдохновения и романтических чувств; книги – неоценимые помощники в самообразовании. Мир книг полон чудес: […]...
34. While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball. Seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to […]...
35. A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse’s tail and our friend was stuck […]...
36. Reading an Obituary Ivy: This is so sad! Stephan: What is? Ivy: I’m reading the Obituary for one of my favorite actors as a child, Mr. McBoo. He had Quite a life. Stephan: Oh, yeah? Ivy: Yeah, and this article has really Done him justice. It’s a nice Tribute to a man who Touched so many lives. It […]...
37. The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning and was aproached by his assistant. “Anything interesting happen over-night”, asked the mortitian. “Yes”, replied the assistant, “The most gorgeous 18 year-old blond came in last night. Dead of course” “What was the cause of death”, enquired the mortition. “I’m not sure”,replied the assistant. “But she’s got […]...
38. Books and Reading Топик Книги и чтение рассказывает о том, как важно много читать и развивать свои навыки чтения, в том числе, и при чтении литературы на английском языке. Как и в любом деле, нужно целенаправленно практиковаться: читать быстро, вникая в суть предмета. Для успешной учебы, чтение – один из самых важных навыков. Books can fit almost every […]...
39. Having the equipment A couple went on vacation to a resort up north. The husband liked to fish, and the wife liked to read. One morning the husband came back from fishing after getting up real early that morning and took a nap. While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar […]...
40. Reading in My Life В топике Чтение в моей жизни я рассказываю, какую большую роль играют книги и чтение разнообразной литературы в моей жизни. Есть незабываемые книги, даже с самого детства, когда мы старались походить на любимых героев. Среди множества жанров, каждый найдет подходящий именно для него, ведь все люди разные. Для любителей чтения существуют библиотеки, записаться туда очень […]...