A man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel room

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1. Forty years later, they’re in the same hotel room Forty years later, they’re in the same hotel room they spent their honeymoon in. She takes off her clothes, lies down on the bed, spreads her legs… Her husband looks at her and he begins to weep uncontrollably. She says, “What’s the matter?” He says, “Forty years ago, I couldn’t wait to eat it, and […]...
2. The Time Nikola Tesla Paid for His Hotel Room With a “Death Ray” Nikola Tesla was, of course, a vastly accomplished scientist and inventor. His inventions include the Tesla coil and electric oscillators, and he also developed technologies that were eventually found in X-rays, the radio, and remote controls. One thing he didn’t invent: A death ray. But try telling that to the Governor Clinton Hotel. Tesla had […]...
3. The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver and instructed him to meet all incoming trains and announce at the depot in a very loud voice, “Free bus to the hotel Astor!” On the way to the station on his first trip her kept repeating to himself, “Free bus to the hotel Astor, Free […]...
4. Two dwarfs pick up two hookers and take them to their hotel rooms Two dwarfs pick up two hookers and take them to their hotel rooms. The first dwarf not only can’t get a hard-on, but all night he has to listen to the other dwarf and the other hooker grunting “One, two three, uhh…one, two three, uhh…” In the morning, the second dwarf says to the first […]...
5. Перевод слова hotel Hotel – гостиница, отель Перевод слова Hotel room – комната в гостинице hotel service – гостиничное обслуживание full hotel service – с полным обслуживанием (уборкой, бельем и т. п.) hotel bill – счет за проживание в гостинице We registered at a Hotel. Мы зарегистрировались в гостинице. Turn left after the Hotel. После отеля поверните налево. […]...
6. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Резервирование номера в отеле” (Booking a Room in a Hotel) – Good afternoon. Queen’s Hotel. – Hi. This is Joanna Stewart from Madrid calling. I would like to arrange accommodation for our company’s visiting professors. And I am going to learn a bit about the facilities that your hotel offers. – I see, Miss Stewart. Well, Queen’s Hotel is a 4-star hotel and we are […]...
7. Staying in an Inexpensive Hotel Suzanna: Remind me why we’re staying in this Fleabag motel in the Seedy part of town? Kenji: We agreed that we would Skimp on the Accommodations so we could spend more money on activities and eating out. Remember? Suzanna: I remember, but I Didn’t bargain for someplace as Run-down as this. Look at the Peeling […]...
8. A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam when suddenly he notices a fine looking hooker looking at him. He stops, bangs on the window and says,”So, what does this cost??!!”. And the hooker replies,”25 dollars!!”. And the Pollock said,”Hmm, that’s not a lot of money for insulated windows!!”....
9. A Mistake in the Hotel Bill Hotel clerk: Here’s the Bill for your four-night stay. Would you like the Incidentals charged to your credit card? May: Incidentals? I think there’s some mistake. I didn’t order any Pay-per-view movies and I never ordered room service. And, I didn’t have any Spa services, either. Hotel clerk: Are you sure? We show three movies […]...
10. This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker says, “Say, wanna have a good time? We do things in a big way down here in Texas.” “Sure,” he says and they were off to the nearest motel. She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, “Is […]...
11. Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn’t working, so he bolts down to use the lobby Men’s Room, but all of the stalls are occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and in desperation, he drops his […]...
12. Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back […]...
13. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Обслуживание номеров в отеле” (Room service at a hotel) – Room service. Can I help you? – Good morning. This is room 365. Could you send breakfast to my room, please? – Certainly, madam. What would you like to have? – A glass of orange juice, one serving of bacon and eggs, a toast with some butter and marmalade and a cup of black […]...
14. A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki to buy furs. He arranges for a hooker to be sent to his room. When they’re done, he said, “I’m afraid my Finnish isn’t too good.” The hooker replied, “Your foreplay ain’t all that hot either.”...
15. Перевод сленгового выражения hooker, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: hooker Сленговое выражение: hooker груб. Перевод: проститутка Пример: He spent the night with a hooker in Las Vegas. В Лас-Вегасе он провел ночь с проституткой....
16. Значение идиомы room service [room service] {n.} Service provided to hotel guests in theirrooms. Also: The hotel workers who give this service. We called forroom service when we wanted ice. Room service will install a TVset in your room upon demand....
17. This fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when he This fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. “What the hell is your problem?” the lady asked. “I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy,” the man moaned. The lady reached […]...
18. The new hooker had just finished her first trick The new hooker had just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said, “Well, he was a big, muscular and handsome marine.” “Well? What did he want to do?” they all asked. She said, “I told him that a […]...
19. After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took $300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table. “Thanks,” she said. “But I only charge $20.” “Twenty bucks for the entire night?” the amazed MP replied. “You can’t make a living on that.” “Oh, don’t worry,” the whore […]...
20. Room Service This is a telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and roomservice at a hotel in Asia. It was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review: Room Service: “Morny. Ruin sorbees.” Guest : “Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.” RS : “Rye. Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??” Guest: “Uh..yes..I’d like some bacon and […]...
21. A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?”, they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in […]...
22. Hotel Housekeeping I’m so glad that the hotel I Booked didn’t Turn out To be a Dump. The last time I went on vacation, I booked it online Sight unseen, and it turned out to be a Run down hotel. This hotel was completely different. The Decor was tasteful and updated, the Staff was friendly, and the […]...
23. Checking into a Hotel I Flew into Atlanta the afternoon before a Big meeting. I Hailed a taxi at the airport and told the driver the name of the hotel. I asked him How long it would take to get there. He said it would only be 20 minutes. I sat back and relaxed. We got to the hotel […]...
24. Staying in a Vacation Rental George: I’m kind of nervous staying in a Vacation rental for the first time. Marnie: Don’t worry. Before I Booked this unit, I checked it out thoroughly. It’s Pet-friendly and Kid-friendly, and it Sleeps six, so it’ll be perfect for the whole family. George: But there won’t be the same Amenities or services as a […]...
25. A woman visits her physician A woman visits her physician. After waiting for a while it’s finally her turn. She enters the doctors’ office and sits down. The PhD asks her: “Well, what can I do for you madam?”. The patient blushes and the PhD sees that apparently she is embarrassed so he says: “You can discuss any matter with […]...
26. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do […]...
27. There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for a soldier and propositioned him. The Salvation Army gent said, “Ma’am, you may be forgiven, as a pitiable victim of circumstances. Tell me, are you familiar with the concept of ‘original sin’?” The hooker replied, “Well, maybe and maybe not. But if it’s “really” […]...
28. At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even= drunker. “What time does the bar open?” he asks. “Same time as […]...
29. Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful young woman at the other end of the bar. “Bartender,” he says, “give that lady whatever she likes, and put it on my tab.” When the drink is delivered, the woman gives Berkowitz a warm smile. A moment later he’s at her […]...
30. Schick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City Schick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City, runs into a hooker, and he says, “How much?” She says, “Twenty bucks.” He says, “All right.” They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her. The next night, he runs into the same hooker, they go under the boardwalk, only this time while he’s […]...
31. Hotel Reservations I just finished a huge project at work and I needed some Down time. I decided to take a short vacation. I liked the idea of a long weekend out of town. My friend Sara offered to let me Crash at her place in San Francisco, but I decided to stay at a hotel instead. […]...
32. Which of the following does not belong? Which of the following doesn’t belong? (a) meat (b) eggs (c) wife (d) blow job (D) A blowjob because its possible to beat your meat, your eggs or your wife, but you can’t beat a blowjob...
33. This man was having problems getting it up to have sex This man was having problems getting it up to have sex with his wife, so he went to the doctor for advice. The doctor told him the next time he wanted to have sex, to stick his finger in his wife’s pussy, and then rub it under his nose, and the smell would cause his […]...
34. The difference The boy asks his dad: “What’s the difference between a ‘cunt’ and a ‘pussy’?” The dad gets a Penthouse magazine, draws a circle around a crotch and says: “Everything inside the circle is a ‘pussy’, everything outside the circle is a ‘cunt'”...
35. Las Vegas Las Vegas, city (1990 pop. 258,295), seat of Clark co., S Nev.; inc. 1911. It is the largest city in Nevada and the center of one of the fastest-growing urban areas in the United States. Revenue from hotels (including most of the world’s largest), gambling, entertainment, theme parks, resorts, and other tourist-oriented industries forms the […]...
36. The room was full of pregnant women and their partners The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. “Ladies, exercise is good for you,” announced the teacher. “Walking is especially […]...
37. The room was full of pregnant ladies The room was full of pregnant ladies and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. […]...
38. Test Yourself: Are You a Neanderthal? As you know, Neanderthal man may have interbred with modern man. His descendants are with us even today, passing for full-blooded Homo Sapiens. If you suspect a “touch of the old hand ax” in your ancestry, score yourself on this test: 1. Do your eyebrows meet in the middle? If so, give yourself five points. […]...
39. A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, “You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!” Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, […]...
40. A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was drinking an extremely large glass of milk. The young man said “I took the liberty of milking your cow this morning!” He then continues […]...