A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding

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1. Перевод слова huge Huge – громадный, гигантский Перевод слова Huge eater – обжора huge sleeper – соня huge difference – колоссальное различие huge debts – огромные долги The new system has made a Huge difference. Новая система – совсем другое дело. My dad’s got a Huge record collection. У моего папы огромная коллекция аудиозаписей. There is a Huge […]...
2. Cinderella was all set to go to the huge ball Cinderella was all set to go to the huge ball, but she was having a severe case of PMS. She was crabby and pissy and moody and generally not in the partying spirit. Well, her fairy-godmother again came to her rescue by providing Cinderella with a magic tampon. The fairy-godmother said, “Put this in and […]...
3. A dangerous animal The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in […]...
4. Перевод слова naked Naked – голый, явный, неприкрытый Перевод слова Invisible to the naked eye – невидимый невооруженным взглядом naked aggression – явная агрессия to strip smb. naked – раздеть кого-л. донага naked confession – голословное признание Her Naked body was found in a field. Ее обнаженное тело было найдено в поле. They stripped me Naked. Они сорвали […]...
5. A little girl was walking along a beach in California A little girl was walking along a beach in California when she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper covering his genitals. The little girl said, “What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?” The man said, “Nothing, it’s just a bird, now go away!” The man thought nothing of […]...
6. The wedding is offno on! All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride’s father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry. “The weddin’s off,” he shouted, “Everybody bugger off!” Dismayed and […]...
7. Значение идиомы girl friend [girl friend] {n.}, {informal} 1. A female friend or companion. Jane is spending the night at her girlfriend’s house. 2. A boy’ssteady girl; the girl or woman partner in a love affair; girl;sweetheart. John is taking his girl friend to the dance. Contrast:BOYFRIEND....
8. Going to a Wedding I got an Invitation in the mail last month that really surprised me. My friend Ulrich was getting married! We went to college together and he always said that he’d never get married. I guess he found his Dream girl in the end. The Church wedding was going to be at 3 p. m. and […]...
9. A girl runs home to her mother crying A girl runs home to her mother crying, “I can’t marry Joe! He’s an atheist! He doesn’t believe in God or Jesus or anything! “Don’t worry, Honey,” said her mom. “But Mom, he doesn’t even believe in Hell! “Don’t worry, Honey,” repeated her mom, “you marry him…and we’ll convince him!”...
10. A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor surgery A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a trolley bed by a lady in a white dress and brought to the corridor. Before they enter the room she leaves her behind the theatre door to go in and check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a […]...
11. Значение идиомы hell [hell] See: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGHWATER, HELL-ON-WHEELS, LIKE HELL, TO HELL WITH, UNTIL HELL FREEZESOVER, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER....
12. An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the […]...
13. Household items Back in the ’70s, days of conspicuous (ahem) consumption, Hugh Hefner was showing a friend around the Playboy Mansion. At one point, Hefner turned to his friend, and said, “Did you ever hear this joke? A woman receives flowers from her boyfriend. She turns to her friend, and says, ‘Oh, great. Now I’ll have to […]...
14. Перевод слова chair Chair – стул, трон Перевод слова Cane chair – плетеный стул easy chair – удобный стул rocking chair – кресло-качалка He sat down in a Chair. Он сел в кресло. A Chair made of cedar. Стул сделанный из кедра. I’ll get you a Chair. Я принесу вам стул....
15. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a […]...
16. A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: “So, where y’all from?” The New York girl said, “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.” The […]...
17. Capitalist and Socialist Hell A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the guard, “What […]...
18. This man was sitting quietly reading his paper This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Man: “What was that for?” Wife: “What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written […]...
19. Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. “Gentlemen,” the Devil started, “Due to the fact that […]...
20. A necessary condition There were three little boys visiting their grandparents. The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, “Can you make a sound like a frog, Grandpappy? Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds, “No, I don’t really want to make the sound of a frog now.” So, the second little boy comes out and […]...
21. How to write a paper 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at the third floor, on the way back […]...
22. Перевод слова tiny Tiny – крошечный Перевод слова Tiny parasitic insects – маленькие насекомые-паразиты tiny spark – искорка tiny brook – ручеек tiny tot with yellow hair – малыш с золотистыми волосами The plate had a Tiny chip in the edge. На ободке тарелки была крошечная щербинка. The computer chips were Tiny. Компьютерные микросхемы были крошечные. It was […]...
23. Значение идиомы a hell of [a hell of] a [or one hell of a] {adj. or adv. phr.}, {informal} Extraordinary; very. He made a hell of a shot during the basketball game. Max said seven months was a hell of a time to have to wait for a simple visa. The fall Max took left one hell of a bruise […]...
24. Перевод слова hell Hell – ад, преисподня; черт (ругательство) Перевод слова To make smb.’s life a hell – превратить чью-л. жизнь в ад to suffer through hell – переносить муки ада oh hell! – черт возьми! hell of a way – чертовски далеко Who the Hell are you? Кто ты такой, черт побери? To Hell with the flaming […]...
25. An old man is sitting on the park bench crying An old man is sitting on the park bench crying. Another old man sits down next to him and says, “Mister, what’s the problem?” The old man wipes the tears from his eyes and explains, “I’ve got this beautiful, 35 year old wife, and all she wants to do is make love from the moment […]...
26. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
27. Meet Temar Boggs, rescuer of a kidnapped little girl Temar Boggs is a 15-year-old student who lives in Lancaster, Pa. He loves playing sports, hanging out with friends, skateboarding and biking. Add “being a hero” to the list. Temar was having an average summer day on July 11: he helped a neighbor move her couch, and then settled in to hang out with some […]...
28. Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Are Not Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren’t I need you to whip it out by 5:00! Mind if I use your laptop? Put this in my box before you leave. I want it on my desk now! Hmm.. I think I’m out of fluid. My equipment’s so old, it takes forever to finish! […]...
29. A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, “help, help, I am having a heart attack”, the husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run […]...
30. A peculiar dress Nancy & Betty, and Jim & Tom were in the old people’s home. Nancy & Betty thought Jim & Tom weren’t getting enough excitement so they decided to run naked past Jim & Tom’s room. Later that night they did just that. Jim looked at Tom and said, “Did you see that? What in the […]...
31. Перевод слова sound Sound – звук, звучать; здоровый, крепкий Перевод слова The sound of voices – шум голосов the trumpets sounded – раздались звуки труб man of sound constitution – человек крепкого сложения his heart is not sound – у него плохое сердце We came back safe and Sound. Мы вернулись целыми и невредимыми. The Sound of a […]...
32. Nature of Hell A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.” Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when […]...
33. A Traditional Wedding I arrived at my friend Karin’s Wedding a little late and the ceremony had already begun. I’ve been to a lot of Civil ceremonies, but it had been a while since I’d attended a religious one. They had asked a Minister To Officiate. When I arrived, Karin and her Fiance, Jan, were standing in front […]...
34. The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife were shopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the man’s oldest friend bumped into him. Eyeing the curvaceous blonde bending over the counter to try on a necklace, the friend asked “How in the hell did YOU land a wife like that?” The old man […]...
35. I just ate those peanuts A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table. Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes […]...
36. It finally happened A man died and went to Heaven. After reaching the gates to Heaven the man was talking with Saint Peter and he asked, “I know I was good during my life, and I really appreciate being brought to Heaven, but I’m really curious… What does Hell look like?” So Saint Peter thought about it a […]...
37. The painful execution The huge black dude was getting ready for the electric chair – he had been found guilty of rape and murder. The witnesses to the execution were astonished when the prisoner’s pant leg was cut and a tiny electrode was prepared to be placed on his penis. “Hey don’t look so surprised” the condemned man […]...
38. Chief is at a wedding A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said […]...
39. Time for the wedding A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said to keep quiet! You’re […]...
40. Перевод слова sit Sit – сидеть, усаживать Перевод слова To sit in a circle – сидеть кружком to sit oneself – садиться, усаживаться to sit the baby – посадить малыша (на горшок) Sit yourself over there. Усаживайтесь вон там. He Sat back in his chair. Он снова сел в кресло. The dress Sits ill on her. Платье сидит […]...