A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as

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1. A school teacher injured his back and had to wearA school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. ... Читать далее...
2. The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a gameThe Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game, she will describe an object and the students will tell her what she had described. Teacher: «The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem.» Timmy: » I know what it is, it’s an apple.» Teacher: «That’s right, I like the way ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова gradeGrade — стадия, этап, уровень; класс в школе Перевод слова The various grades of the Civil Service — различные ступени гражданской администрации a high grade of intelligence — высокое интеллектуальное развитие medium grade — среднее качество John is in the seventh Grade. Джон в седьмом классе. Many consumers do not properly understand the Grade levels. ... Читать далее...
4. Значение идиомы make the grade[make the grade] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To make good; succeed. It was clear that Mr. Baker had made the grade in the insurancebusiness. It takes hard study to make the grade in school. 2. Tomeet a standard; qualify. That whole shipment of cattle made thegrade as prime beef....
5. American University Grading ProceduresHere is a list of the ways professors here at the American University grade their final exams: DEPT OF STATISTICS: — All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: — Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books ... Читать далее...
6. One day a teacher was teaching religionOne day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class «What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?» Two children rose their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to pick on him she chose little Mary. «I think your heart goes first because, that’s were your emotions of ... Читать далее...
7. One day the teacher decides to play an animal gameOne day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says «See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?» Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a ... Читать далее...
8. A college professor in an anatomy class asked his studentsA college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched the man with an erect penis. The professor commented, «Oh, no, I wanted it the other way.» She replied, «What other ... Читать далее...
9. An English teacherAn English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: «woman without her man is nothing». The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: «Woman, without her man, is nothing.» The women wrote: «Woman! Without her, man is nothing.»...
10. A young female teacher was giving an assignmentA young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, «What’s so funny Pat?» «Well teacher, I just ... Читать далее...
11. The Grade 1 concert is fast approachingThe Grade 1 concert is fast approaching and Johhny has still not decidied what he will do. Little Mary is going to do a piano solo, Timmy will recite a poem, but Johnny can’t come up with anything. Finally, his frustrated teacher is releived when he tells her he has worked out his act. Come ... Читать далее...
12. UNIVERSAL GRADE CHANGE FORM____________________University To: Professor____________________ From:___________________________ I think my grade in your course,___________________, should be Changed from ______ to _______ for the following reasons: ______1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did. ______2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did. ______3. This course will lower ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова teacherTeacher — учитель, преподаватель Перевод слова Teacher edition — издание для учителей; методическое пособие teacher’s college — педагогический институт teacher education — подготовка учителей Experience is a great Teacher. Опыт — великий учитель. As a Teacher he leads. Как учитель он превосходит всех других. She was certified as a Teacher. Она получила диплом учителя. Происхождение ... Читать далее...
14. One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little JohnnyOne Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said ... Читать далее...
15. One summer evening during a violent thunderstormOne summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, «Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?» The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. «I can’t dear,» she said. «I ... Читать далее...
16. A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged childrenA teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers, more flavors than you ... Читать далее...
17. Students suspended for riding horses to schoolPranks become more common as the school year wraps up for many students. This 2015 story is going viral after being posted on Reddit this week. Two high school seniors were suspended after they rode horses to school as part of «No Vehicle to School Day.» The decision to not use vehicles to get to ... Читать далее...
18. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whalesA little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a ... Читать далее...
19. When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacherWhen the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher asked all the children to give their first name. When she got to the little boy in the second row, he said: «I’ll give you a hint. First it’s in your hand, then it’s in your mouth, and then it’s in your tummy.» The teacher smiled and said: ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы stare in the face[stare in the face] {n. phr.} 1. To be about to meet or to happento Grandmother became very sick and death was staring her inthe face. Defeat stared them in the face, but the soldiers foughton bravely. 2. To be easy to see; be plain. Are you looking foryour pencil? It’s on your desk, staring ... Читать далее...
21. State of Kentucky 12th Grade Reading TestState of Kentucky 12th Grade Reading Test TEST #1 TEST #2 TEST #3 TEST #4 MR Ducks MR Snakes MR Farmers MR Mice MR Knot MR Knot MR Knot MR Knot SAR SAR SAR SAR CM Wangs CM BDI’s CMMT Pockets CMEDBD Feet LIB LIB LIB LIB MR Ducks MR Snakes MR Farmers MR Mice...
22. In the Sex Ed class the teacher saysIn the Sex Ed class the teacher says, «All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex.» The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, «Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?» Johnny ... Читать далее...
23. Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tellsLittle Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. «Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,» she asks, «will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?» Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says «No, I don’t think ... Читать далее...
24. Strict schoolIt was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she’d take no nonsense from the kiddies this year. While taking the roll, she was told by one boy «My name is Johnny Fuckhauer». So she said «There’ll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny; ... Читать далее...
25. Моя любимая учительница/ My Favourite TeacherНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык My Favourite Teacher Моя любимая учительница School is an important part in every person’s life. I’m sure all students have favourite subjects and teachers. I’d like to tell you a few words about my favourite teacher. Her name is Irina Ivanovna. She was my primary school teacher and ... Читать далее...
26. One day in class the teacherOne day in class the teacher has sex education. On the black board she draws a penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is. In the back of the room, Dirty Johnny stands and says «That’s a penis, and my father has two of them». The teacher looks surprised and ... Читать далее...
27. Three engineering students were gathered togetherThree engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, «It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.» Another said, «No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous systems many thousands of electrical connections.» The last said, «Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would ... Читать далее...
28. A teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly GatesRecently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, «What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They ... Читать далее...
29. Three college students were rapping about who they’d like to beThree college students were rapping about who they’d like to be cast off on a desert with. The first one opted for Cindy Crawford. The next one chose Pamela Anderson. The third man chose Virginia Pipeline. «Never heard of her.» his companions protested. «Who is she?» «Why she’s just the greatest Italian gal of all, ... Читать далее...
30. A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher askedA fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked, «What’s the problem, Carol? I hope it’s not homework again.» «Well, uh, yes, it is.» replied Carol. «I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane.» «Carol, you’re right, that wasn’t a very bright thing to do,» said the teacher, «but this once ... Читать далее...
31. Just like my wifeA completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, «I’m sorry. I thought you were my ... Читать далее...
32. How MIT Students Won $8 Million in the Massachusetts LotteryMIT students figured out how to make winning the Massachusetts lottery a sure thing, and a recent investigation suggests that the lottery commission knew about it. Maybe Uncle Ben was right: With great power comes great responsibility. While most students at the famed Massachusetts Institute of Technology use their powers for good — for example, ... Читать далее...
33. American and British schools — Американские и Британские школыIn America, all children from six to sixteen go to school. They spend six years in «elementary» school, and four or six years in «secondary» or «high» school. School education is free. At the end of every school year, the children take a test. If a child does well, he goes into next class («grade»). ... Читать далее...
34. Convince these studentsAn Army recruiter delivered a windy pep talk to encourage a group of college students to join the VOLAR. But the culminating point of his oration was greeted with cat calls, whistles and projection of rotten eggs and an assortment of no less rotten vegetables and fruits. A visitor asked a student: «Why you throw ... Читать далее...
35. My Foreign Language Teacher — Мой учитель иностранного языка (1)When we first come to school, a teacher meets us and says: «I am going to teach you how to write, to read, and to count.» No matter how many teachers we have after that, we remember our first teacher’s name for the rest of our lives. Teachers are with us during all our life. ... Читать далее...
36. From UsThe teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters «ILU» written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand. Well sweetie, what does «ILU» mean? The little girl replies, «I love you.» The teacher says, «Isn’t that sweet,» and continues with class. The ... Читать далее...
37. Two groups of computer experts were set up in order toTwo groups of computer experts were set up in order to find out whether computer is male or female: one group was male, and the other group was female. The group of women reported that computers should be refereed to as «HE» because: 1. In order to get their attention you have to turn them ... Читать далее...
38. A Trip to the LibraryI read in the Local paper that a new public library had just opened two weeks ago in my neighborhood. I wanted to Check it out. But first, I called the library to check the Hours of operation. The Librarian told me that they were open Monday through Saturday from 10 to 6 so I ... Читать далее...
39. Who keeps saying those thingsA man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively «You’ve got great hair!» The man looked around but couldn’t see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer. A minute later, he heard ... Читать далее...
40. A Parent-Teacher ConferenceMs. Vasquez: Hello, Mr. Polo. I’m Ms. Vasquez. Please have a seat. Mr. Polo: Thank you. Ms. Vasquez: In this Parent-teacher conference, I want To go beyond Marco’s Report cards and his Standardized test scores to talk about his general performance in the classroom. Mr. Polo: That’s great. I want to know how he’s doing. ... Читать далее...