A fellow was shipwrecked with six lovely women

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1. Перевод слова ounce Ounce – унция, чуточка Перевод слова Cents an ounce – центов за унцию an ounce of ability – зачаточные навыки coining value of an ounce of gold – монетная стоимость унции золота He hasn’t got an Ounce of sense. У него нет ни капли здравого смысла. An Ounce of practice equals a pound of theory. […]...
2. The cost of a brain A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains. “How much does it cost for engineer brain?” “Three dollars an […]...
3. Purchasing new brains A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I. Q. 20 points. After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center’s director that he was an acceptable candidate. […]...
4. Understanding Men and Women Lucy: Jeff, Here’s a question. I was Just talking to Dawn. You know, they had their first Wedding anniversary last week. Guess what her husband gave her as a present. Jeff: I don’t know. What? Lucy: He gave her a Vacuum cleaner. Jeff: Didn’t she want a vacuum cleaner? Lucy: Yes, the old one was […]...
5. A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front. He sees that this is a woman and, as he catches up to her on a par 3, that, […]...
6. A fellow in a bar notices a woman A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. “No thank you,” she said politely.” “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.” “That […]...
7. Перевод слова strength Strength – сила, прочность Перевод слова The strength of a rope – прочность веревки strength of materials – сопротивление материалов a position of strength – позиция силы In unity there is Strength. В единстве сила. Jo hit him with all her Strength. Джо ударила его изо всех сил. My Strength is draining away. Мои силы […]...
8. The clerk showed the man the store’s most expensive perfume The clerk showed the man the store’s most expensive perfume. “This is called ‘Perhaps’,” said the sales clerk. “It’s $285 per ounce.” “Listen,” the man shot back, “for $285 an ounce, I don’t want something called ‘Perhaps’; I want something called… “You Can Bet Your Sweet Ass You’ll Get Some!!”...
9. Значение идиомы month of Sundays [month of Sundays] {n. phr.}, informal A very long time. – Used foremphasis after “for” or “in” and usually with a negative verb. Ihave not had devil’s food cake in a month of Sundays. When he gother first letter, he felt that he had not heard from her for a monthof Sundays. Syn.: DOG’S AGE....
10. Перевод слова glad Glad – довольный, радостный, веселый Перевод слова I’m glad to hear it – рад это слышать glad I wasn’t there – рад, что меня там не было glad countenance – веселое лицо I am so Glad to see you. Я так рад тебя видеть. What a warm, Glad summer! Какое теплое приятное лето! I was […]...
11. Перевод слова lovely Lovely – прекрасный, красивый, очаровательный Перевод слова Lovely picture – красивая картина lovely view – восхитительный вид lovely character – возвышенный характер The hotel has a Lovely view. Из отеля открывается прекрасный вид. It’s a Lovely windy day, help me to peg out the washing. Сегодня замечательный ветреный день, помоги мне развесить белье. She’s got […]...
12. Dictionary for women Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, […]...
13. Значение идиомы lay hold of [lay hold of] {v. phr.} 1. To take hold of; grasp; grab. He laidhold of the rope and pulled the boat ashore. 2. To get possession of. He sold every washing machine he could lay hold of. 3. {ChieflyBritish} To understand. Some ideas in this science book are hard tolay hold of....
14. Arkansas Mother Writes Her Son ARKANSAS MOTHER WRITES HER SON Dearest Redneck Son, I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you […]...
15. Значение идиомы go from strength to strength [go from strength to strength] {v. phr.} To move forward, increasing one’s fame, power, or fortune in a series of successfulachievements. Our basketball team has gone from strength tostrength....
16. Перевод идиомы a month of Sundays, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: a month of Sundays Идиома: a month of Sundays разг. Перевод: целая вечность; очень долгое время Пример: It will take a month of Sundays to phone all the students in our school. Потребуется целая вечность, чтобы позвонить всем ученикам нашей школы....
17. Значение идиомы on the strength of [on the strength of] {prep.} With faith or trust in; dependingupon; with the support of. On the strength of Jim’s promise toguide us, we decided to climb the mountain. Bill started arestaurant on the strength of his experience as a cook in the army....
18. Значение идиомы give the glad eye [give the glad eye] {v. phr.}, {slang} To give awelcoming look as if saying “come over here, I want to talk to you.” I was surprised when Joe gave me the glad eye....
19. Значение идиомы pull down [pull down] {v.}, {informal} 1. To catch after a hard run. The outfielder pulled down a long drive to center field. 2. Toearn. Mr. Blake pulls down $500 a week. John pulled down an Ain algebra by studying hard. Compare: HAUL DOWN....
20. University courses for men and women Whatsamatta University’s Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required. 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You Too Can Do […]...
21. Talking About Attractive Men and Women Pamela: You know that your tongue is hanging out of your mouth, right? David: That’s because I’ve never seen so many beautiful women in one place before. Why have I never been to this beach before? Look at her! She’s a Hottie! Pamela: Isn’t that what you said about that woman over there? David: No, […]...
22. This fellow comes to confession This fellow comes to confession. “Father, he said, forgive me for I have sinned.” The priest asked, “What did you do, my son?” “I lusted,” the fellow replied. “Tell me about it,” the priest said. The fellow then related his story. “Father, I am a deliveryman for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in […]...
23. This fellow dies and goes to heaven This fellow dies and goes to heaven. God offers to answer three questions. Guy: “Why are girls so pretty?” God: “So you’ll like them.” Guy: “Why are girls soft?” God: “So you’ll like them.” Guy: “Why are girls so dumb?” God: “So they’ll like you.”...
24. A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes and kegs of beer. He asks a nearby demon if this is really hell, and what was so bad about the place. “Well,” said the demon, “the kegs all have holes in the bottoms, and the blondes […]...
25. Bragging About Success With Women Jonah: I’d love to get a date with Jessica. She’s so hot! Becca: You mean you want To add another notch to your bedpost. Jonah: I’ve Been around the block, but there’s nothing wrong with Sowing a few wild oats. That’s all part of being young and Carefree. Becca: Hmm, maybe you shouldn’t be telling […]...
26. A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears this whistle – Whooee da Whoee! – but doesn’t know what it is. Predictably, he’s […]...
27. A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing. “Your organ,” she […]...
28. A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out of the cab with a big stick and bang on the side of the cargo bay. He’d then jump back into the cab in time to […]...
29. This fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when he This fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. “What the hell is your problem?” the lady asked. “I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy,” the man moaned. The lady reached […]...
30. Trust a fellow officer A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial – it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer […]...
31. A fellow decides to take off early from work A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he […]...
32. Значение идиомы with might and main [with might and main] {adv. phr.} With full strength or completeeffort. The sailors pulled the rope with might and main. Johntried with all his might and main to solve the problem....
33. Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. “When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began. “You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. “I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe […]...
34. Cleverest women are the heaviest drinkers Those with degrees are almost twice as likely to drink daily, and they are also more likely to admit to having a drinking problem. A similar link between educational attainment and alcohol consumption is seen among men, but the correlation is less strong. The findings come from a comprehensive study carried out at the London […]...
35. How many women with PMS does it take to Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this […]...
36. Alcohol vs Women A guy says, “I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women.” “Yeah what happened?” asked the other. The first guy replies, “Well, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle.”...
37. Women seeking men “WOMEN SEEKING MEN” Classifieds 40-ish means: 48 Adventurer means: Has had more partners than you ever will Affectionate means: Possessive Artist means: Unreliable Average looking means: You figure this one out Beautiful means: Pathological liar Commitment-minded means: Pick out curtains, now! Communication important means: Just try to get a word in edgewise Contagious Smile means: […]...
38. Education for women Continuing Education Courses for Women Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits. Parties: Going Without New Outfits. Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores Can Wait Until After the Game. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too. Bathroom Etiquette II: His […]...
39. Insulting to women The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Bangkok, Thailand A member of the ruling junta who oversees Thai Airways International has ordered the carrier to hire more-attractive stewardesses. “We have received a lot of complaints that our air hostesses […]...
40. Women’s instructions WOMEN’S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. So […]...