A dog walks into a butcher shop

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1. Buying Meat from a Butcher Butcher: Good morning. What can I get for you? Samantha: I’d like some Lamb chops, Pork chops, and some Beef, but I’m not sure which Cuts I want yet. Butcher: You’ve come to the right Butcher shop. Everything here is Fresh. Everything comes straight from the Slaughterhouse. Samantha: Um, I’m glad to hear that. Butcher: […]...
2. At the Butcher’s Butcher: What can I get for you? Gina: I’d like a pound of Ground beef, please. Butcher: Would you like the regular or the extra Lean? The extra lean is a dollar more per pound. Gina: I’ll take the regular. Could you also Throw in two thick Pork chops and two Chicken breasts? Butcher: I’m […]...
3. At the Butcher’s Butcher: What can I get for you? Gina: I’d like a pound of Ground beef, please. Butcher: Would you like the regular or the extra Lean? The extra lean is a dollar more per pound. Gina: I’ll take the regular. Could you also Throw in two thick Pork chops and two Chicken breasts? Butcher: I’m […]...
4. This is one smart dog A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door. “An’ wot’s this then?” he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher’s shins. “You dumb dog.” As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices […]...
5. A man walks into a jewellers shop A man walks into a jewellers shop, unzips his trousers and places his tool upon the counter. The lady serving says: “I’m sorry Sir, this is a clock shop not a cock shop.” “Well, put two hands and a face on this.” replies the man....
6. The dog and the butcher A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, “Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my […]...
7. A woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs A woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and […]...
8. A panda bear walks into a restaurant A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door. The owner of the restaurant says, “Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying […]...
9. A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price. “Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,” says the shop […]...
10. A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. “I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order […]...
11. Перевод слова pork Pork – свинина Перевод слова Pork pie – пирог со свининой belly pork – грудинная свинина pork carcass – свиная туша Let me have a plateful of that Pork! Положите мне полную тарелку свинины! Powdered beef and Pork imported from Ireland. Солонина и свинина, импортируемые из Ирландии. We’re having Pork roast for dinner. У нас […]...
12. Communication problem There was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and they lived in Honolulu. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. […]...
13. The Barber Shop This guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop and says, “About 2 hours.” The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, “How long before I can get a […]...
14. Перевод идиомы close up shop / shut up shop, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: close up shop / shut up shop Перевод: закрывать лавочку, свернуть дело (временно или навсегда) Пример: I can’t make any money in this town. The time has come to close up shop and move to another town. У меня не получается ничего заработать в этом городке. Пришло время закрываться и переезжать в другой городок....
15. A customer walks into a restaurant and notices A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, “$500 if we fail to fill your order.” When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant tail on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen. Almost immediately he hears an explosion of voices. The restaurant […]...
16. A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo during a thunder storm, when his windshield wiper broke. He drives until he comes to an auto body shop. He goes into the shop, walks up to the counter and says, “Excuse me, but could you give me a windshield wiper for my Yugo?” The […]...
17. Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going? Dog: Doin alright. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How’s he treat you? […]...
18. A duck in the shop A duck walks into a shop and asks the manager: -Got any fresh fruit? -No. -Got any fresh vegetables? -No. We have only dry goods. The next day the duck returns: -Got any fresh fruit? -No. -Got any fresh vegatables? -No. I told you yesterday, we have only dry goods. If you come back tomorrow […]...
19. Перевод слова shop Shop – магазин, лавка, буфет; ходить по магазинам Перевод слова Close up a shop – закрыть магазин coffee shop hours – время работы кафе to keep a shop – иметь магазин She works in a Shop. Она работает в магазине. It’s not available in the Shops. Этого нет в магазинах. Many people now Shop online. […]...
20. A woman walks into a pet store A woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, “I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.” “No worries,” replies the clerk. […]...
21. Welfare office A young man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, “Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job. The man behind the counter replied, “Your timing is amazing. We’ve just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his […]...
22. What is your name Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.” “Hans Olaffsen?”, he muses. “How in hell does that fit in here?” So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind […]...
23. A guy walks into a post office A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes […]...
24. Значение идиомы close up shop [close up shop] {v. phr.} 1. To shut a store at the end of a day’s business, also, to end a business. The grocer closes up shop at 5 o’clock. After 15 years in business at the same spot, the garage closed up shop. 2. {informal} To stop some activity; finish what you are doing. […]...
25. Перевод слова beef Beef – говядина, мясо Перевод слова Horse beef – конина beef broth – говяжий бульон ground beef – говяжий фарш This is a good lean cut of Beef. Это хороший нежирный кусок говядины. OK, so what’s the Beef this time? Ладно, так что за говядина на этот раз? The Beef was overdone. Говядина была пережарена. […]...
26. Texan with a new car Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. “I know that smart aleck Tex,” said the first. “He’s going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back.” “Not Tex,” the second cowboy replied. “He’ll always be just a good ol’ boy. When he walks in, I’m sure […]...
27. Значение идиомы closed shop [closed shop] {n. phr.} 1. A plant or factory that employs only union workers. Our firm has been fighting the closed shop policy for many years now. 2. A profession or line of work dominated by followers of a certain mode of thinking and behaving that does not tolerate differing views or ideas. Certain groups […]...
28. A cowboy walked into a barber shop A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, “I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.” The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, […]...
29. A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with “WWJD” printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn’t figure it out, so he asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for […]...
30. Перевод слова owner Owner – владелец, собственник Перевод слова Joint owner – совладелец right owner – законный владелец the owner of a car – владелец автомобиля I met the Owner of the local hotel. Я встретил владельца местного отеля. The Owner’s mark was on all the sheep. Клеймо владельца стояло на всех овцах. The Owner is having to […]...
31. World of shopping. Как не пойти за хлебом в Butcher’s. Разговорник по теме Магазины и Покупки Снимаем стресс прогулкой по магазинам и не забываем правильные названия отделов с различными товарами: от духов до булочек. Наша shopping подборка вооружит вас самыми распространенными фразами и понятиями. Что может сказать покупатель I’m just browsing |ˈbraʊzɪŋ|, thanks. – Я просто присматриваюсь, спасибо. Window – витрина/ How much is that dress in the window? – Сколько […]...
32. Cronin goes to a barber shop to get his hair cut Cronin goes to a barber shop to get his hair cut. The barber cuts his hair, and after he gets done, as Cronin gets up and is taking out his money, the barber goes over and takes a leak in the corner of the barber shop. The barber finishes and comes back. As Cronin hands […]...
33. Значение идиомы open shop [open shop] {n. phr.} A factory or firm that employs both union andnon-union labor. The firm refuses to adopt an open shop policy. Contrast: CLOSED SHOP....
34. Giuseppi walks into work, and he says Giuseppi walks into work, and he says, “Ey, Tony! You know who’s-a George Washington?” Tony says, “No, Giuseppi, who’s-a George Washington?” He says, “Hah! George-a Washington’s the first-a President of – a United States. I’m-a go to night school, learn all about-a United States, and become-a U. S.-a citizen.” A couple of days later, Giuseppi […]...
35. Значение идиомы talk shop [talk shop] {v. phr.}, {informal} To talk about things in your workor trade. Two chemists were talking shop, and I hardly understood aword they said....
36. I have a magical dancing duck A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they […]...
37. A dancing duck A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheelin’ and dealin’ they […]...
38. Free meat It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the […]...
39. Фразовый глагол shop around – перевод и значение, пример использования Фразовый глагол: shop around Перевод: прицениваться, ходить по магазинам и сравнивать цены, качество, и т. п. Пример: It’s always wise to shop around before buying anything. Всегда целесообразно прицениться перед тем, как что-либо покупать....
40. Ordering at a Sandwich Shop Employee: Welcome to Grubway. What can I get for you? Jared: I’m still deciding. I’m trying to lose weight and I hear that eating a sandwich for lunch every day will help me do that. Do you guys have a BLT or a Club? Employee: We don’t have a BLT, but we do have a […]...