A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog

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1. I’ll use my Seeing Eye Dog A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite […]...
2. A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. “I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order […]...
3. Пословица / поговорка blind leading the blind / blind leaders of the blind – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: blind leading the blind / blind leaders of the blind Перевод: слепой ведет слепого Пример: It was the blind leading the blind when the teacher who could not cook was asked to teach the cooking class. Ситуация была такая, что слепой вел слепого, когда учителя, который не умел готовить, попросили вести кулинарные […]...
4. A blind man is standing at the corner A blind man is standing at the corner with his seeing eye dog waiting to cross the street, when his pooch lifts his leg and pisses down the side of his nice herringbone tweed trousers. The guy immediately reaches into his jacket pocket and retrieves a doggie biscuit which he starts to offer to Fido. […]...
5. A blind guy goes into a whore house A blind guy goes into a whore house. A girl takes him upstairs and starts giving him a blowjob. He says to her, “Excuse me, aren’t you Karen Carlton, and didn’t you go to Cardozo High School in Detroit?” “Yes. How’d you know?” “I never forget a face.”...
6. A woman walks into a pet store A woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, “I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.” “No worries,” replies the clerk. […]...
7. A Blind Mans Sport A Blind Mans Sport A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I am placed in the door and told when to jump” “My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go” “But how […]...
8. Значение идиомы blind leading the blind [blind leading the blind] One or more people who do not know or understand something trying to explain it to others who do not know or understand. Jimmy is trying to show Bill how to skate. The blind are leading the blind....
9. A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. “This one’s $5,000 and the other is $10,000.” the clerk said. “Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?” “This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote.” “And the other?” said the customer. […]...
10. The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, I was waited on by a beautiful young woman. She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn’t sure. So she asked now big I was and I said, “Compared to what?” She held up one finger and asked if I […]...
11. Little Johnny is coming home from the store Little Johnny’s is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket. Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, “This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny.” He walks up to Little Johnny and says, […]...
12. Перевод слова blind Blind – слепой Перевод слова Blind obedience – слепое повиновение blind asylum – приют для слепых blind panic – дикая паника blind chance – слепой случай He was Blinded by love. Он был ослеплен любовью. She was Blind with tears. Она ничего не видела, ее глаза были полны слез....
13. A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there’s no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it’s a good thing. The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again […]...
14. This old lady walks out of the grocery store and goes to the bus stop This old lady walks out of the grocery store and goes to the bus stop. An old guy is sitting in the parking lot in his car. He drives over and says he’ll give her a ride home. On the way he looks her over and says “You’re a pretty good looking old broad. I’ll […]...
15. A lady was in a hardware store looking at A lady was in a hardware store looking at a fishing poles. She asked the store manager how much it was he said ‘I am blind drop it on the ground and i’ll tell ya. She dropped it on the ground.’Aahh that’s 10.00.’ She bent down and let a big fart that everyone heard. But, […]...
16. A guy walks into a post office A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes […]...
17. Значение идиомы fly blind [fly blind] {v. phr.} 1. To fly an airplane by instruments alone. In the heavy fog he had to fly blind. 2. {informal} To do somethingwithout understanding what you are doing. I’m glad the car runsnow; I was flying blind when I fixed it. He’s flying blind when hetalks about philosophy....
18. Значение идиомы stone-blind [stone-blind] {adj. phr.} 1. Completely blind. Poor Al isstone-blind and needs help to get across the street carefully. 2.Highly intoxicated. George drank too much and got stone-blind atthe office party. See: GET STONED, THREE SHEETS TO THE WIND....
19. A duck walks into a general store A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager,”Got any fresh fruit?” “No.” “Got any fresh vegetables?” “No. We have only canned and dry goods.” The next day, the duck returns. “Got any fresh fruit?” “No.” “Got any fresh vegetables?” “No. I told you yesterday, we have only canned and dry goods. If […]...
20. Значение идиомы blind alley [blind alley] {n.} 1. A narrow street that has only one entrance and no exit. The blind alley ended in a brick wall. 2. A way of acting that leads to no good results. John did not take the job because it was a blind alley. Tom thought of a way to do the algebra […]...
21. Значение идиомы turn a blind eye [turn a blind eye] {v. phr.} To pretend not to see; not payattention. The corrupt police chief turned a blind eye to the opengambling in the town. Bob turned a blind eye to the “No Fishing”sign. Compare: CLOSE ONE’S EYES....
22. Значение идиомы blind spot [blind spot] {n.} 1. A place on the road that a driver cannot see in the rear view mirror. I couldn’t see that truck behind me, Officer, because it was in my blind spot. 2. A matter or topic a person refuses to discuss or accept. My uncle Ted has a real blind spot about […]...
23. Значение идиомы blind as a bat, beetle, mole, owl [blind as a bat, beetle, mole, owl] {adj. phr.} Anyone who is blind or has difficulty in seeing; a person with very thick glasses. Without my glasses I am blind as a bat....
24. Значение идиомы in store [in store] {adj.} or {adv. phr.} 1. Saved up in case of need; readyfor use or for some purpose. If the electricity goes off, we havecandles in store in the closet. The squirrel has plenty of nuts instore for the winter. Compare: IN RESERVE, IN STOCK, ON HAND. 2.Ready to happen; waiting. – Often used […]...
25. Little girl walks into the bathroom A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks “What’s that?” Her sister replies “That is my possum, sis!” The young girl replies “Oh, OK” The next day she sees her mother get out of the […]...
26. A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potential employee’s application and notices that the man has never worked in retail before. He says to the man, “For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high wage.” “Well Sir,” the applicant replies, “the work is so much harder when […]...
27. Перевод слова store Store – магазин; припасы, снабжать, хранить Перевод слова Clothing store – магазин готового платья war stores – боеприпасы to store a ship with provisions – снабдить судно провиантом facts stored away in the memory – факты, хранимые в памяти What did you get at the toy Store? Что вы купили в магазине игрушек? I need […]...
28. Значение идиомы blind date [blind date] {n.} An engagement or date arranged by friends for people who have not previously known one another. A blind date can be a huge success, or a big disappointment....
29. Значение идиомы variety store [variety store] {n.} A store that sells many different kinds ofthings, especially items that are fairly small and in everyday use. I went into a variety store and bought some paint. Five-and-tencent stores are a kind of variety store....
30. Значение идиомы set store by [set store by] {v. phr.}, {informal} To like or value; want tokeep. Used with a qualifying word between “set” and “store”. Georgesets great store by that old tennis racket. Pat doesn’t set muchstore by Mike’s advice....
31. Man walks into a supermarket and buys Man walks into a supermarket and buys : 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner The girl at the checkout looks at him and says “Single are you?” The man replies very sarcastically “How did you […]...
32. The crowded store It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store’s opening time, in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be […]...
33. Перевод идиомы turn a blind eye (to someone or something), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: turn a blind eye (to someone or something) Перевод: делать вид, что не замечать что-либо; закрывать на что-либо глаза Пример: Our teacher usually turns a blind eye to the fact that the student often comes to school a few minutes late. Наш учитель обычно закрывает глаза на то, что этот ученик часто опаздывает на […]...
34. Перевод идиомы blind date, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: blind date Перевод: “свидание вслепую”; романтическое свидание двух людей, которые еще не знакомы друг с другом Пример: I went on a blind date in university but it was not successful. В университете я ходил на свидание вслепую, но оно было не очень удачным....
35. Edward walks out of a bar Edward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. “Can I help you, fella?”, asks the cop. “Yesssh, ssshombody stol my car!” Edward replies. The cop asks, “Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?”. “It […]...
36. Пословица / поговорка love is blind – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: love is blind Перевод: любовь слепа Эквивалент в русском языке: любовь зла, полюбишь и козла Пример: The girl was not very attractive to most people but love is blind and her boyfriend loved her very much. Девушка не очень нравилась большинству людей, но любовь слепа, и ее молодой человек очень ее любил....
37. So this guy was out on his front lawn flying a kite So this guy was out on his front lawn flying a kite, he was really having a difficult time. The kite was swinging wildly, not exactly what you’d describe as stable, so his wife sticks her head out the door and says, “Gee Ralph, it looks like you need more tail.” Ralph replies “Make up […]...
38. Значение идиомы cigar-store Indian [cigar-store Indian] {n. phr.} A wooden statue of an Indian which in the past was placed in front of a cigar store. A cigar store Indian used to mean a cigar store in the same way a barber pole still means a barber shop....
39. The blind daters had really hit it off and The blind daters had really hit it off and, at the end of the evening as they were beginning to undress each other in his apartment, the fellow said, “Before we go any further, Charlene, tell me – do you have any special fetishes that I should take into account in bed?” “As a matter […]...
40. Пословица / поговорка there are none so blind as those who will not see / there are none so deaf as those who will not hear – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: there are none so blind as those who will not see / there are none so deaf as those who will not hear Перевод: нет более слепого, чем тот, кто не желает видеть; нет более глухого, чем тот, кто не желает слышать Эквивалент в русском языке: на слепого очков не подберешь Пример: […]...