Wooden back houses

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1. One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were. When one couple arrived he announced “Mickey and Minnie Mouse”. As the next couple arrived he announced “Tarzan and Jane” and so on as each guest arrived. […]...
2. Irish Religion Humor Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man said, “I do Father.” The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.” Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to got to heaven?” “Certainly, Father,” […]...
3. Crazy people talk A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient […]...
4. Перевод слова wood Wood – лес, древесина Перевод слова To carve a statue out of wood – вырезать статую из дерева chip of wood – щепка wood chips – опилки Her house was made of Wood. Ее дом был деревянным. Pine is a soft Wood. У сосны мягкая древесина. Some baseball bats are made out of Wood. Некоторые […]...
5. Значение идиомы on the string [on the string] or [on a string] {adv. phr.}, {informal} Under yourinfluence or control; obedient to every wish. The baby had hismother on a string. She was pretty and popular, with two or threeboys on the string all the time....
6. Значение идиомы shack up with [shack up with] {v. phr.}, {slang} To move in with of theopposite sex without marrying the person. Did you know that Ollieand Sue aren’t married? They just decided to shack up for a while. See: LIGHT HOUSEKEEPING....
7. Значение идиомы string [string] See: FIRST STRING, LATCH STRING, ON THE STRING or ON ASTRING, PULL STRINGS, PURSE STRINGS, SHOE-STRING CATCH, TIED TO ONE’SMOTHER’S APRON STRINGS....
8. Значение идиомы latch string [latch string] {n.} 1. A string that opens an old-fashioned door bylifting a small bar. The early settlers kept the latch stringoutside the door when they were working around the house, but at nightthey pulled it to the inside. 2. {informal} A warm welcome; afriendly greeting. – Used in such phrases as “the latch string […]...
9. Значение идиомы string along [string along] {v.}, {informal} 1. To deceive; fool; lead ondishonestly. Mary was stringing John along for years but she didn’tmean to marry him. George told the new boy that he must alwayscall the teacher “Sir,” but the new boy soon saw that George wasstringing him along. Compare: ON A STRING. 2. To follow someone’sleadership; join […]...
10. A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night. He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self concious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance. “Would you […]...
11. UCLA Computer Club This one hasn’t come up despite the presence of UCLA on the net. I’m led to the sad conclusion that the tradition has died. In the mid ’70s, just before it was overrun by fanatic Dungeons Dragons ™ players, the UCLA Computer Club was host to a long series of “glitter traps.” Example: joke subject […]...
12. A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father’s house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl’s feet. “What’s this,” […]...
13. Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their girl friends. One felt guilty and decided he should stop at the church and confess. He went into the confession booth and told the Father, “Father, I have sinned. I have committed fornication with a lady. Please forgive me.” The Father said, “Tell me who […]...
14. Пословица / поговорка people who live in glass houses should not throw stones – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: people who live in glass houses should not throw stones Перевод: живущий в стеклянном доме не должен бросать в других камни (т. е. не следует осуждать других тому, кто сам небезупречен) Эквивалент в русском языке: в чужом глазу соринку видим, в своем бревно не замечаем Пример: The man always criticizes his friend […]...
15. It’s dark in here A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her Lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there […]...
16. Значение идиомы rock’n’roll [rock’n’roll] or [rock and roll] {n.} A style of popular music withheavily accented rhythm. Rock’n’roll appeals mostly to youngstersnine to sixteen years old. Rock and roll became popular for dancesabout 1954....
17. Psychoanalysis One of Sigmund Freud’s early patients rushed out into an Austrian afternoon on her way to meet her best friend at a coffee house. Over Cappuccino and Viennese pastries, she suddenly burst out crying. Her friend begged her to share what was wrong. “Oh, it’s just terrible,” she wailed. “Today the doctor told me I’m […]...
18. Перевод слова rock Rock – скала, утес; рок Перевод слова To drill through rock – бурить по породе rock formation – горная система point of the rock – острый выступ скалы The door was solid as Rock. Дверь была прочной как скала. The Rock was dynamited. Скала была взорвана. He is a Rock star and teen idol. Он […]...
19. Household items Back in the ’70s, days of conspicuous (ahem) consumption, Hugh Hefner was showing a friend around the Playboy Mansion. At one point, Hefner turned to his friend, and said, “Did you ever hear this joke? A woman receives flowers from her boyfriend. She turns to her friend, and says, ‘Oh, great. Now I’ll have to […]...
20. Перевод слова joke Joke – шутка, анекдот Перевод слова In joke – в шутку, шутя standing joke – неистощимый объект для шуток blue joke – пошлая шутка a corny joke – старая шутка, шутка “с бородой” It was only a Joke. Это была всего лишь шутка. The Joke was on him. Это он остался в дураках. She loves […]...
21. An old man goes to a church, and is making a confession An old man goes to a church, and is making a confession: Man: Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18 year old. Father: When was the last time you made a […]...
22. Holiday Decorating Now that the holidays are here, it’s time To decorate the house. Every year, we always Go all out. We buy a Christmas tree and the kids decorate it with Ornaments that we’ve bought and made over the years, and with silver and gold Tinsel. We also hang a Wreath on our front door and […]...
23. Перевод слова wooden Wooden – деревянный; безжизненный Перевод слова Wooden fence – деревянная изгородь, частокол wooden smile – деревянная улыбка wooden stare – неподвижный взгляд She bought a small Wooden carving of a Buddha. Она купила небольшую деревянную статуэтку Будды. Bobby had perched himself on a tall Wooden stool. Бобби уже уселся на высокий деревянный табурет. She is […]...
24. A visual joke (This joke requires the use a small visual. I’ll describe the visual first, then as I tell the joke I’ll cue you when to use it) Visual: Stretch your arms straight out sideways with hands also stretched wide open. Joke: Why did the blonde want to date Jesus? She heard he was (use visual) HUNG […]...
25. President Carter’s joke In an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke. He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story […]...
26. Значение идиомы first-string [first-string] {adj.}, {informal} 1. On the starting team or Ateam. He was the first-string quarterback. 2. Of the best quality;foremost. He was the least expensive of the city’s first-stringlawyers....
27. Перевод идиомы dare someone to do something, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: dare someone to do something Перевод: вызывать кого-либо на что-либо, подзадоривать кого-либо на что-либо Пример: The little boy dared his friend to throw a rock at the window. Маленький мальчик подзадоривал своего друга кинуть камень в окно....
28. Значение идиомы plague on both your houses [plague on both your houses] or [plague o’ both your houses] Badluck to both of you! – Used to show disgust at those who wont stopquarreling. The bus drivers went on strike because the bus companywould not raise their pay. After several weeks, the people who neededto ride the bus to work said, “A plague […]...
29. How many women with PMS does it take to Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this […]...
30. Значение идиомы a friend in need is a friend indeed [a friend in need is a friend indeed] A genuine friend on whom one can always depend. – A proverb; often shortened to “a friend in need…” When John’s house burned down, his neighbor Jim helped him and his family with shelter, food and clothing. John said, “Jim, a friend in need is a friend […]...
31. Demanding an Apology Vera: That was Uncalled for. You owe me an Apology! Alvaro: Chill out. It was a joke! Vera: It wasn’t funny and it Crossed the line. Alvaro: Why are you Freaking out? Get over it. I was just joking. Vera: You really Hurt my feelings. Alvaro: For God’s sake, I didn’t mean it. I Take […]...
32. Значение идиомы in the dark [in the dark] {adj. phr.} 1. In ignorance; without information. John was in the dark about the job he was being sent to. If thegovernment controls the news, it can keep people in the dark on anytopic it chooses. Mary had a letter from Sue yesterday, but shewas left in the dark about Sue’s plans […]...
33. Criminal steals lumber A man with a nagging secret couldn’t keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked. “What did you take?” his priest asked. “Enough to build my own house and enough for my son’s house. And houses for our two […]...
34. Значение идиомы knock on wood [knock on wood] {v. phr.} To knock on something made of wood tokeep from having bad luck. – Many people believe that you will havebad luck if you talk about good luck or brag about something, unlessyou knock on wood; often used in a joking way. Charles said, “Ihaven’t been sick all winter.” Grandfather said, […]...
35. The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and gets pissed off. She goes bitching to Little Johnny’s father. She comes to Little Johnny’s house and sees Little Johnny fucking a goat in the front yard. She walks in the house and screams to his father “Your son! Your son! He cussed in the school and now….now […]...
36. Значение идиомы people who live in glass houses should not throw stones [people who live in glass houses should not throw stones] Do notcomplain about other people if you are as bad as they are. – Aproverb. Mary says that Betty is jealous, but Mary is more jealousherself. People who live in glass houses should not throw stones....
37. Geologist’s song 01 The Geologist’s Come-All-Ye (a folksong) by Brenna Lorenz Come all ye lads and you will hear About the life that we love dear, Refrain: With our diddle-air-re-oh, falling rock away, knock it down, Fall-di-knock-a-rock-away, me laddie-oh! Geologists all bold and strong, We are the subject of this song. We get up with the rising sun […]...
38. Значение идиомы go over [go over] {v.} 1. To examine; think about or look at carefully. The teacher went over the list and picked John’s name. The policewent over the gun for fingerprints. 2. To repeat; do again. Don’tmake me go all over it again. We painted the house once, then wewent over it again. 3. To read again; […]...
39. Offending Someone I was telling my friend, Gina, a joke. I began it by saying, “An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Frenchman walk into this bar, and…” Suddenly, Gina Grabbed my arm and shook her head. I turned around and our coworker, Colin, was standing right behind me. Eileen: Oh, hi Colin. I didn’t see you standing […]...
40. A horrible tragedy A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?” “My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.” “Gee, that’s tough,” he replied. “Then in July,” the friend continued, “My father died leaving me $50,000.” “Wow. Two […]...