Where to send him?

Related topics:

1. The Naming of JesusA group of biblical scholars were involved in a heated discussion about how Jesus of Nazareth was named. How did he become known as the Messiah, or Christ. One of the scholars argued that the name was a Greek corruption of Aramaic, and purists and fundamentalists ought to use the name Joshua. Another argued that ... Читать далее...
2. ZHow offensive is that?How offensive is that? Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer from the wounds, A crowd has gathered to watch and sympathize with Him. As Jesus looks out over the gathering he calls to one of his apostle’s. «Paul… Paul,» He calls out. Paul hears his name and comes ... Читать далее...
3. The three wise men are out for a stroll whenThe three wise men are out for a stroll when they come across a stable. The three of them decide to duck inside. On the way in one of the wise men hits his head on the low entranceway. «Jesus Christ!» he says. Joseph says, «Quick, Mary, write that down! It’s a hell of a ... Читать далее...
4. Значение идиомы holy cats[holy cats] or [holy cow] or [holy mackerel] or [holy Moses]{interj.}, {informal} — Used to express strong feeling ; used in speech or when writingconversation. «Holy cats! That’s good pie!» said Dick. «Holycow! They can’t do that!» Mary said when she saw the boys hurting amuch smaller boy....
5. A crowd had gathered around a whore andA crowd had gathered around a whore and they were about to stone her. Jesus stepped in front of her and said: «Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.» From the back of the crowd came this stone which hit Jesus on the head and knocked him down. Jesus turned and looked ... Читать далее...
6. Kick-ass sermonA new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, » When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, ... Читать далее...
7. A Jewish lady named Mrs. RosenbergA Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort — one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, «Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.» The Jewish lady said, «But your sign says that you have vacancies.» ... Читать далее...
8. An eight year old boy is walking down the road one dayAn eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him. «If you get in the car,» the driver says, «I’ll give you $10 and a piece of candy.» The boy refuses and keeps on walking. A few moments later, not to take no for an ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы walking papers[walking papers] or [walking orders] also [walking ticket] {n.},{informal} A statement that you are fired from your job; dismissal. The boss was not satisfied with Paul’s work and gave him his walkingpapers. George is out of work. He picked up his walking ticketlast Friday....
10. A man was walking in the street when he heard a voiceA man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: «Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.» The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы dog in the manger[dog in the manger] {n. phr.} A person who is unwilling to let another use what he himself has no use for. Although Valerie lives alone in that big house, she is like a dog in the manger when it comes to letting someone sharing it with her....
12. Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishingJesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses «I want to do a miracle so we can feel like the good old days.» and Moses says «Yeah sure.» So Jesus gets up and says «I think I’ll walk on the water, that was always a good one.» So Jesus ... Читать далее...
13. Snake solves problemI was driving down a lonely country road one cold winter day when it began to sleet pretty heavily. My windows were getting icy and my wiper blades were badly worn and quickly fell apart under the strain. Unable to drive any further because of the ice building up on my front window I suddenly ... Читать далее...
14. Значение идиомы send word[send word] {v. phr.} To send notification to; advise. When hisfather fell seriously ill, we sent word to Mike to come home asquickly as possible....
15. There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his houseThere was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. «Hey kid!» the farmer says. «Where ya goin’ with that wire?» «Well,» the kid drawls, «this here ain’t just any ol’ wire, this here’s ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод идиомы a dog in the manger, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: a dog in the manger Перевод: собака на сене; кто-либо, владеющий чем-либо ненужным для себя, но не отдающий это другим, и не делящийся с другими Пример: The girl was a dog in the manger. She cancelled the dinner because she could not attend. Эта девушка как собака на сене. Она отменила ужин из-за того, ... Читать далее...
17. Once when Mary was young her schoolOnce when Mary was young her school had a halloween party for them mary decided to go as a pirate after she had donned her costume she went into the family room to show her family they were impressed. Mom said you look terrific mary you have your sabre, and your parrot on your shoulder, ... Читать далее...
18. A Burglar is in Big TroubleA burglar has just made it into the house he’s intending ransacking, and he’s looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, «I can see you, and so can Jesus!» Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his ... Читать далее...
19. In a long line of people waiting for a bank tellerIn a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, «Just what the hell you are doing?» «Well,» said the guy, «you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you ... Читать далее...
20. The Road to HeavenA man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы bump into[bump into] {v.}, {informal} To meet without expecting to; happen to meet; come upon by accident. Mary was walking down the street, when she suddenly bumped into Joan. Ed was surprised to bump into John at the football game. Syn.: RUN INTO....
22. Show him your crossTwo nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield. «Quick, quick!» shouts Sister Mary Agnes, «What should ... Читать далее...
23. Значение идиомы Jesus boots[Jesus boots] or [Jesus shoes] {n.}, {slang} Men’s sandals, particularly as worn by hippies and very casually dressed people. Idig your Jesus boots, man, they look cool....
24. Перевод слова holyHoly — священный, святой Перевод слова Holy water — святая вода holy ground — освященная земля holy man — праведник, святой We don’t treat the items as Holy relics. Мы не считаем эти предметы священными реликвиями. They were joined together in Holy matrimony. Они были соединены священными узами брака. He sprinkled the coffin with Holy ... Читать далее...
25. One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golfOne Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf. But he couldn’t, since it was Sunday. But he figured, well, it’s ok if i just play a little bit. So he changed clothes and went out into the green. Up in heaven an angel saw him and reported it to Jesus. However, Jesus didn’t do ... Читать далее...
26. A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious itemsA man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with «WWJD» printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn’t figure it out, so he asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for ... Читать далее...
27. Swerve to avoid a boxDriving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain ... Читать далее...
28. A hot mealTwo starving homeless men are walking down an empty street in a quiet town. they spy a dead horse on the side of the road and run towards it. the first man begins to eat the horse, but the second man refuses, saying only that he will wait. after the first man has eaten his ... Читать далее...
29. And Jesus said unto his disciplesAnd Jesus said unto his disciples, «Whom do men say that I am?» And His disciples answered unto Him, «Master, thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute, divine, sacerdotal monarch.» And Jesus said, «What?»...
30. Jokes about St. Patrick’s DayTwo Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy «Jez, that look like Sean» to which Paddy replied «No Sean was taller than that» It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы order[order] See: APPLE-PIE-ORDER, CALL TO ORDER, IN ORDER, IN ORDER TO, IN SHORT ORDER, JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED, MADE TO ORDER, OUT OFORDER, PUT ONE’S HOUSE IN ORDER or SET ONE’S HOUSE IN ORDER, SHORTORDER COOK, TO ORDER, WALKING PAPERS or WALKING ORDERS....
32. A man is walking past this house when a used condomA man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his head. Rather disgusted and absolutely furious, he goes up to the front door and starts pounding on it. An elderly man opens it and asks him what caused him to knock ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы good grief![good grief!] {interj.}, {informal} Wow! Indication of surprise, good or bad. «Good grief,» Joe cried out loud. «Is this all youwill pay me for my hard work?» What a figure Melanie has, goodgrief! I wonder if she would be willing to go out with me. Compare:GOODNESS GRACIOUS!, HEAVENLY DAYS!, HOLY CATS or HOLY COW or ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы road[road] See: ALL ROADS LEAD TO ROME, BURN UP THE ROAD, END OF THEROAD, GET THE SHOW ON THE ROAD, HIT THE ROAD, HUG THE ROAD, MIDDLE OFTHE ROAD, ON THE ROAD....
35. The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacherThe congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher to began his sermon when two masked men burst into the church and said «Whoever is not willing to take a bullet for Jesus better leave now.» More than half of the congregation jumped up and ran out the door. The two men took off their ... Читать далее...
36. Types of Car and VehiclesRobert: Hi, I’m Robert. What are you In the market for today? Mary: I want to buy a new car, but I’m not sure what I want. Robert: Well, you’ve come to the right place. We have a very large selection of cars and Trucks – Just about any type of Vehicle you can think ... Читать далее...
37. Three wishesIt was a nice sunny day when three men were walking down a country road, when they saw a bush with a pig’s ass popping out. The first man says, «I wish that was Demi Moore’s Ass» The second man says, «I wish that was Pamela Anderson’s Ass.» Then the third man says, «I wish ... Читать далее...
38. Knock Knock ChristmasKnock Knock Who’s there? Wenceslas Wenceslas who? Wenceslas train home? Knock Knock Who’s there? Snow Snow who? Snow business like show business! Knock Knock Who’s there? Wayne Wayne who? Wayne in a manger… ! Knock Knock Who’s there? Donut Donut who? Donut open till Christmas! Knock Knock Who’s there? Oakham Oakham who? Oakham all ye ... Читать далее...
39. Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a sharkMary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man. The man was screaming, «Help me! Help me!» Mary Jane laughed and laughed! She knew that the shark was never going to help that man!...
40. Перевод слова appearAppear — показываться, появляться Перевод слова To appear on the horizon — появляться на горизонте to appear far away — показываться, появляться вдали to appear ill — выглядеть больным Suddenly a face Appeared at the window. Неожиданно в окне появилось чье-то лицо. Homo sapiens Appeared about 400 000 years ago. Человек разумный появился около 400 ... Читать далее...