Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing

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1. Heavenly golf Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green. Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over […]...
2. Fishing on the lake A famous admiral and an equally famous general were fishing together when a sudden squall came up. When it died down both eminent warriors were struggling helplessly in the water. The admiral floundered his way back to the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished out the general, using an oar. Catching his […]...
3. Перевод слова boat Boat – лодка Перевод слова Patrol boat – патрульный катер torpedo boat – торпедный катер to sail a boat – плыть на корабле The Boat sleeps six. Катер располагает шестью спальными местами. We Boated to Antwerp. Мы отправились в Антверпен на корабле. The Boat cut the water. Лодка разрезала воду....
4. There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically trying to climb up. While they were sitting there a Priest walks along, looks over and says, “God bless you children, that’s Christianity at work. May the lord bless […]...
5. There was this fisherman that always had a good day fishing There was this fisherman that always had a good day fishing. His friend, the game warden, couldn’t figure out how he did it, so one day the game warden decided to go fishing with his friend. The fisherman took his friend the warden out to his favorite spot. Once there, the fisherman took a stick […]...
6. Перевод слова fishing Fishing – рыбалка, рыболовный Перевод слова To go in for fishing – ходить на рыбалку fishing season – период рыбной ловли free fishing – право на свободную рыбную ловлю fishing tackle – рыболовная снасть We had good luck Fishing. У нас была удачная рыбалка. I like to go Fishing on weekends. Я люблю ходить на […]...
7. Значение идиомы Jesus boots [Jesus boots] or [Jesus shoes] {n.}, {slang} Men’s sandals, particularly as worn by hippies and very casually dressed people. Idig your Jesus boots, man, they look cool....
8. A crowd had gathered around a whore and A crowd had gathered around a whore and they were about to stone her. Jesus stepped in front of her and said: “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.” From the back of the crowd came this stone which hit Jesus on the head and knocked him down. Jesus turned and looked […]...
9. And Jesus said unto his disciples And Jesus said unto his disciples, “Whom do men say that I am?” And His disciples answered unto Him, “Master, thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute, divine, sacerdotal monarch.” And Jesus said, “What?”...
10. The Naming of Jesus A group of biblical scholars were involved in a heated discussion about how Jesus of Nazareth was named. How did he become known as the Messiah, or Christ. One of the scholars argued that the name was a Greek corruption of Aramaic, and purists and fundamentalists ought to use the name Joshua. Another argued that […]...
11. Значение идиомы in the same boat [in the same boat] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} In the same trouble; inthe same fix; in the same bad situation. When the town’s onefactory closed and hundreds of people lost their jobs, all thestorekeepers were in the same boat. Dick was disappointed whenFern refused to marry him, but he knew others were in the same […]...
12. Перевод идиомы in the same boat, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: in the same boat Перевод: в одном положении, в одной ситуации; испытывать те же трудности, неприятности (обычно употребляется в выражениях Be in the same boat, и Get in (into) the same boat) Пример: I understand your problems because I’m in the same boat as you. Я понимаю твои трудности, потому что я в таком […]...
13. Значение идиомы miss the boat [miss the boat] also [miss the bus] {v. phr.}, {informal} To failthrough slowness; to put something off until too late; do the wrongthing and lose the chance. Mr. Brown missed the boat when hedecided not to buy the house. In college he didn’t study enough sohe missed the boat and failed to pass. Ted could […]...
14. Some fishing terms Ten common fishing terms explained Catch and Release – A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it’s limit. Hook – (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to […]...
15. Значение идиомы rock the boat [rock the boat] {v. phr.}, {informal} To make trouble and risklosing or upsetting something; cause a disturbance that may spoil aplan. The other boys said that Henry was rocking the boat bywanting to let girls into their club. Politicians don’t like torock the boat around election time. Compare: UPSET THE APPLE CART. Contrast: LET WELL […]...
16. The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher to began his sermon when two masked men burst into the church and said “Whoever is not willing to take a bullet for Jesus better leave now.” More than half of the congregation jumped up and ran out the door. The two men took off their […]...
17. Перевод идиомы at one sitting / in one sitting, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: at one sitting / in one sitting Перевод: за один раз, в один присест Пример: We finished the food at one sitting. Мы все съели в один присест....
18. There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer. Up walks a so called “lady of the night”. She says, “For $300.00, I’ll do anything you want.” Our fine lad thinks for a moment then says: Ok. Paint my house, bitch!...
19. A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi were fishing from a boat not from the lake shore. The pastor had to make a trip to the port-a-potty located on the shore, so he got out of the boat, walked across the water and in the same matter, came back to the boat after […]...
20. Scientists Reveal What Jesus Looked Like And It’ll Surprise You It’s days like this when you realise just how amazing technology can be, as scientists reveal what they believe Jesus really looked like. People often imagine Jesus with long hair, a lengthy beard and bizarrely – despite being born in the middle east – with fair skin. Has nobody questioned that at all? Besides having […]...
21. Love Jesus By Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I’m really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light […]...
22. The Pope took a philosophy professor The Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidentally dropped an oar and watched it float away. The pontiff stepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the oar, grabbed it and walked back to the […]...
23. Need fishing licenses A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bush’s jumped the Game Warden!! Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden. After about a half mile the fella […]...
24. Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport cafe when in walks a Nun, takes a seat next to them and begins to eat. Astonished, one of them says, “I went to my parents wedding last week and we all got rat-arsed.” Being quick on the uptake the second one says, ” […]...
25. How did they know that Jesus was Jewish? Q: How did they know that Jesus was Jewish? A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father’s business, his mother thought he was God, and he thought his mother was a virgin....
26. The definition of a phallic symbol This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks “Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says “you’re kidding..” Girl says “no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???” Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says “You see? This is a failic symbol!” Girl says “Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller”...
27. Перевод идиомы rock the boat, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: rock the boat Перевод: раскачивать лодку, нарушать равновесие, портить положение вещей Пример: The woman is a very quiet worker and never likes to rock the boat at work. Эта женщина – очень тихий работник, и она никогда не портит положение вещей на работе....
28. Having the equipment A couple went on vacation to a resort up north. The husband liked to fish, and the wife liked to read. One morning the husband came back from fishing after getting up real early that morning and took a nap. While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar […]...
29. George W. Bush was passing through an airplane terminal George W. Bush was passing through an airplane terminal and he noticed an old man in a long white robe, with a long white beard, long white hair and carrying two stone tablets in his arms. He approached the man and asked, “Aren’t you Moses?” But the man wouldn’t listen to him and continued walking. […]...
30. Three mice are sitting in a bar talking Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, “I play with mouse traps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose and as it’s closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times.” And with […]...
31. Перевод идиомы miss the boat / miss the bus, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: miss the boat / miss the bus Перевод: упустить шанс, упустить возможность, “опоздать на поезд” Пример: I must hurry and get my application in or I will miss the boat and not get the job. Мне нужно поторопиться и поскорей подать заявление, или я упущу возможность и не получу этой работы....
32. Someone really stinks A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, “Now how can I tell my wife that I’ve got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I’ve managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she’s […]...
33. Gone fishing Henry Abel’s son, David, burst into the house, crying like everything. His Mama asked him what the problem was. “Pop and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away.” “Now come on, David,” his mother said, “a big boy […]...
34. Значение идиомы sitting pretty [sitting pretty] {adj.}, {slang} To be in a lucky position. Thenew library is sitting pretty because a wealthy woman gave it $10,000worth of reference books. Mr. Jones was sitting pretty until his$25,000-a-year job was dropped by the company....
35. Jesus has risen Easter is approaching. Father O’Maley checks estimates for the flower decoration of the altar. The catholic florist – $ 300. “Too expensive” moans the priest. The protestant florist – $ 250, “No, it would not be right to buy at another Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather small.” But lo! Solly Goldberg […]...
36. Ice fishing This guy goes ice fishing, takes out an auger and starts drilling. LOUD VOICE FROM ABOVE: There’s no fish there. Guy goes to another spot and drills. LOUD VOICE FROM ABOVE: There’s no fish there, either. Guy tries a third spot. LOUD VOICE FROM ABOVE: Nope. Not there either. Guy, getting a little nervous: “Are […]...
37. Рыбалка/ Fishing На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Fishing Рыбалка Let me tell you a little bit about one of my favourite pastimes. My granddad is a professional fisherman and he often takes me fishing with him, especially in summer. This has become a tradition since I was five. At the moment I’m twelve years old […]...
38. Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, “You know, I’ve been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!’. The other woman turned to her and said “I know! I […]...
39. An old man and an old woman were sitting An old man and an old woman were sitting at the breakfast table on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary. The old man said,”You know, 50 years ago, we were probably sitting here buck naked.” The woman said, “Why don’t we try that again?” So they stripped and sat down at the table again. […]...
40. The corporate boat race An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team became […]...