When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town

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1. The Pope vs. the QueenThe Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at thousands of people in the forecourt below. The Queen says to the Pope out of the corner of her mouth, «I bet you a tenner that I can make every English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my ... Читать далее...
2. One night a man heard howls coming from his basementOne night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse’s confidence with some cheese and then took him next door. The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a German Sheppard. The ... Читать далее...
3. A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accidentA lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also. «Now, ... Читать далее...
4. One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golfOne Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf. But he couldn’t, since it was Sunday. But he figured, well, it’s ok if i just play a little bit. So he changed clothes and went out into the green. Up in heaven an angel saw him and reported it to Jesus. However, Jesus didn’t do ... Читать далее...
5. One balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides toOne balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides to take a walk. He slips out the rear door of the Vatican and is walking through the back alleys of Rome when he sees a ten-year-old boy smoking a cigarette. The Pope gently says to him, «Young man, you’re much too young to smoke!» The kid ... Читать далее...
6. Pope DiesPope Dies The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He’s met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon ... Читать далее...
7. The Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinalsThe Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals. When they have all assembled at the Vatican, he takes them into the meeting hall and states, «I have some really fantastic news and some very terrible news.» Of course, all the cardinals want to hear the good news first, so the Pope tells them, «Jesus ... Читать далее...
8. On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope wasOn the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said, «What’s a four — letter word ending in «unt» which means «woman»? The bishop said, «Did you try «aunt»? The Pope said, «Mmmm. Do you ... Читать далее...
9. There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the PopeThere was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death’s door, and said to her papal neighbour. ‘Father, surely you can do something about this…’ To which the Pope replied, ... Читать далее...
10. The Pope took a philosophy professorThe Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidentally dropped an oar and watched it float away. The pontiff stepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the oar, grabbed it and walked back to the ... Читать далее...
11. The Pope was working on a crossword puzzleThe Pope was working on a crossword puzzle. He thought and thought about one clue, finally gave up and asked the Cardinal next to him, «What’s a four letter word, ending in U — N — T that means ‘woman’?» The Cardinal was working on his own puzzle and didn’t even bother to look up. ... Читать далее...
12. Значение идиомы know if one is coming or going[know if one is coming or going] or [know whether one is coming orgoing] {v. phr.} To feel able to think clearly; know what to do. — Usually used in the negative or with limiters. On Monday, the carbroke down; on Tuesday, Mother broke her arm; on Wednesday, thechildren all became ill with the mumps; ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы coming and going[coming and going] or [going and coming] {adv. phr.} 1. Both ways; in both directions. The truck driver stops at the same cafe coming and going. John was late. He got punished both going and coming; his teacher punished him and his parents punished him. 2. Caught or helpless; in your power; left with no ... Читать далее...
14. Значение идиомы have it coming[have it coming] {v. phr.} To deserve the good or bad things thathappen to you. I feel sorry about Jack’s failing that course, buthe had it coming to him. Everybody said that Eve had it comingwhen she won the scholarship. Compare: ASK FOR, GET WHAT’S COMING TOONE, SERVE RIGHT....
15. In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish manIn Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about ... Читать далее...
16. What kind of clothes are there?What kind of clothes are there? women: clean & dirty Men: Clean, almost clean, sorta clean, not bad, dirty, really dirty, nasty, biohazzard.(Men will voluntarily wear all but the last classification of these clothes)....
17. Значение идиомы on the town[on the town] {adv.} or {adj. phr.}, {informal} In or into a townto celebrate; having a good time or enjoying the amusements in a town. When the sailors got off their ship they went out on the town. Compare: PAINT THE TOWN RED....
18. Перевод слова townTown — город Перевод слова The best people in the town — лучшие люди в городе town clerk — секретарь муниципалитета the contrast between town and country — различие между городом и деревней I walked around Town. Я бродил по центру города. This Town is jinxed. На этом городе лежит проклятие. He tore off into ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы not to know whether one is coming or going[not to know whether one is coming or going] {v. phr.} To becompletely confused. He was so perplexed he didn’t know whether hewas coming or going. Compare: AT SEA....
20. Значение идиомы paint the town red[paint the town red] or [paint the town] {v. phr.}, {slang} To goout to drink and have a good time; celebrate wildly; carouse. Itwas the sailors’ first night ashore; they painted the town red. Compare: ON THE TOWN....
21. How far to the townA unit of soldiers was marching a long dusty march across the rolling prairie. It was a hot blistering day and the men, longing for water and rest, were impatient to reach the next town. A rancher rode past. «Say, friend», called out one of the men, «how far is it to the next town?» ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод идиомы not to know if / whether one is coming or going, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: not to know if / whether one is coming or going Перевод: быть в замешательстве, совсем запутаться; не знать, что происходит; голова идет кругом Пример: The new sales manager does not know if he is coming or going. Новый менеджер по продажам совсем запутался. If you believe the cult leaders, you won’t know whether ... Читать далее...
23. Значение идиомы up-and-coming[up-and-coming] {adj. phr.} Bound toward success; upwardly mobile;progressive; ambitious. The newly elected state senator is anup-and-coming young politician who is expected to be highly successfulin national politics in the future....
24. Значение идиомы get what’s coming to one[get what’s coming to one] or {slang} [get one’s] {v. phr.} Toreceive the good or bad that you deserve; get what is due to you; getyour share. At the end of the movie the villain got what was comingto him and was put in jail. John didn’t think he was getting whatwas coming to him, ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы coming out party[coming out party] {n. phr.} A debutante party in which a young girl is formally introduced to society. Coming out parties used to be more popular in the early twentieth century than nowadays, primarily because they cost a lot of money....
26. Two Texan are sitting in a small town barTwo Texan are sitting in a small town bar, where one bragged to the other: «You know, I had me every woman in this town, except my mother and my sister.» «Well,» his buddy replied, «between you and me we got ’em all.»...
27. Значение идиомы children should be seen and not heard[children should be seen and not heard] A command issued by adults to children ordering them to be quiet and not to interrupt. — A proverb. Your children should not argue so loudly. Haven’t you taught them that children should be seen and not heard?...
28. Значение идиомы town and gown[town and gown] {n.} The residents of a college town and thestudents and teachers of the college. The senator made a speechattended by both town and gown. There were fights between town andgown....
29. Перевод идиомы have it coming (to someone), значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: have it coming (to someone) Перевод: заслуживать того, что случилось Пример: He really has it coming after causing many problems in his company. Он на самом деле заслуживает наказания за то, что вызвал так много проблем в своей компании....
30. Перевод слова paradeParade — парад, выставление напоказ Перевод слова To make a parade of one’s accomplishments — щеголять своими достоинствами to parade the streets — шествовать по улицам parade ground — площадка для парадов The festivities will commence with a Parade. Торжества начнутся с парада. Morning parade was in progress on the Parade ground. На плацу было ... Читать далее...
31. A young punk gets on the cross-town busA young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He’s got spiked, multicoloured hair that’s green, purple and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he’s wearing worn-out shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewellery and his earring are big, bright feathers. He sits ... Читать далее...
32. Chemistry song 01The Chemistry Teacher’s Coming to Town You better not weigh You better not heat You better not react I’m telling you now The Chemistry Teacher’s coming to town. He’s collecting data He’s checking it twice He’s gonna find out The heat of melting ice The Chemistry Teacher’s coming to town. He sees you when you’re ... Читать далее...
33. Small Town CharmAlisha: Hey, you’re back from your vacation. Where did you go? New York City? Miami? Ramon: I decided to spend my vacation in Maddieville. Alisha: Where is Maddieville? I’ve never heard of it. Ramon: It’s a small town about a six-hour drive from here. I read about it being a Throwback to the days of ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы go to town[go to town] {v. phr.}, {slang} 1. To do something quickly or withgreat force or energy; work fast or hard. The boys went to town onthe old garage, and had it torn down before Father came home fromwork. While Sally was slowly washing the dishes, she rememberedshe had a date with Pete that evening; then ... Читать далее...
35. Her father was very angry when he heard that hisHer father was very angry when he heard that his twenty year old daughter had hitch hiked all alone, all the way from San Francisco to Washington. «For gods sake!» he screamed, «Someone could have attacked you and raped you!» «I wasn’t ever in no danger at all», she said, trying to calm him down. ... Читать далее...
36. You know you are in a small townYou know you’re in a small town….. — when you don’t use turn signals because everybody knows where you’re going. — if you’re born on June 13 and your family receives gifts from the local merchants because you’re the first baby of the year. — if you speak to each dog you pass, by name….. ... Читать далее...
37. A snow town — Город из снегаMy name is Vika Vishnjakova and I live in a very small town somewhere behind the Polar circle. I study English at school №6 and I am a student of the 7th form. Very often I spend my summer holidays in summer camps near the Black Sea or the Azov Sea. I like it very ... Читать далее...
38. A little town had a high birth rate thatA little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got a huge chunk of money; hired a few additional sociologists, anthropologist and a family planning and birth control specialist; moved to town; rented offices; set up their computers; got ... Читать далее...
39. Пословица / поговорка children should be seen and not heard — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: children should be seen and not heard Перевод: детей должно быть видно, но не слышно Пример: The woman believed that children should be seen and not heard. And her children were always very quiet. Эта женщина считала, что детей должно быть видно, но не слышно. И ее дети всегда были очень тихими....
40. Значение идиомы out of town[out of town] {adv. phr.} Having left one’s usual residence orplace of work on a longer trip. «Mr. Smith is out of town untilMonday,» the secretary said. «May I take a message?»...