What do you get when you cross a Jehovah Witness and an atheist?

Related topics:

1. A very religious man lived right next door to an atheistA very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church. However, the atheist’s life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова witnessWitness — свидетель, очевидец Перевод слова To call as witness — вызывать в качестве свидетеля witness custody — взятие под стражу свидетеля to impeach a witness — оспаривать свидетельское показание The defense called only one Witness. Защита вызвала только одного свидетеля. Who Witnessed his signing the documents? Кто видел, как он подписывал эти документы? My ... Читать далее...
3. Фразовый глагол cross out / cross off — перевод и значение, пример использованияФразовый глагол: cross out / cross off Перевод: вычеркивать Пример: In some exercises, you are asked to cross out the incorrect word. В некоторых упражнениях сказано вычеркнуть неправильное слово....
4. Перевод идиомы bear one’s cross / carry one’s cross, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: bear one’s cross / carry one’s cross Перевод: нести крест, нести бремя Пример: Raising three children on her own was the way that the woman had to bear her cross. Воспитание трех детей одной — вот бремя, которое пришлось нести этой женщине....
5. Why lawyers should never ask a witness a questionWhy lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer: In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand — a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, «Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?» She responded, «Why, yes I do know ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова crossCross — крест; пересекать Перевод слова Maltese cross — мальтийский крест to cross the Atlantic — пересечь Атлантический океан criss-cross of canals — сеть каналов He Crossed himself. Он перекрестился. I’ll Cross your name off. Я тебя вычеркну. Look both ways before you Cross the street. Смотрите в обе стороны, прежде чем пересечь улицу. Примеры ... Читать далее...
7. Значение идиомы carry one’s cross[carry one’s cross] or {literary} [bear one’s cross] {v. phr.} To live with pain or trouble; keep on even though you suffer or have trouble. Weak ankles are a cross Joe carries while the other boys play basketball. We didn’t know the cheerful woman was bearing her cross, a son in prison....
8. Значение идиомы cross one’s heart[cross one’s heart] or [cross one’s heart and hope to die] {v. phr.}, {informal} To say that what you have said is surely true; promise seriously that it is true. — Often used by children in the longer form. Children often make a sign of a cross over the heart as they say it, for ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы cross fire[cross fire] {n.} 1. Firing in a fight or battle from two or more places at once so that the lines of fire cross. The soldiers on the bridge were caught in the crossfire coming from both sides of the bridge. 2. Fast or angry talking back and forth between two or more people; also, ... Читать далее...
10. A defending attorney was cross examining a coronerA defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asks, «Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man’s pulse?» The coroner says, «No.» The attorney then asks, «Did you listen for a heart beat?» «No.» «So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы dot the i’s and cross the t’s[dot the i’s and cross the t’s] {v. phr.} To be careful, thorough, and pay close attention to detail. «The best way to get an A on the final exam,» the teacher said, «is for every one to dot the i’s and cross the t’s.» Compare: MIND ONE’S P’S AND Q’S....
12. Значение идиомы cross-check[cross-check ] {v.} To test the truth of by examining in different ways or by seeing different reports about. If you see something in a book that may not be true, be sure to cross-check it in other books....
13. Значение идиомы cross swords[cross swords] {v. phr.}, {literary} To have an argument with; fight. — Often used with «with». Don’t argue with the teacher; you’re not old enough to cross swords with her....
14. Значение идиомы cross one’s fingers[cross one’s fingers] {v. phr.} 1a. To cross two fingers of one hand for good luck. Mary crossed her fingers during the race so that Tom would win. 1b. or [keep one’s fingers crossed] {informal} To wish for good luck. Keep your fingers crossed while I take the test. 2. To cross two fingers of ... Читать далее...
15. Значение идиомы cross a bridge before one comes to it[cross a bridge before one comes to it] {v. phr.} To worry about future events or trouble before they happen. — Usually used in negative sentences, often as a proverb. «Can I be a soldier when I grow up, Mother?» asked Johnny. «Don’t cross that bridge until you come to it,» said his mother. Compare: ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы at cross purposes[at cross purposes] {adv. phr.} With opposing meanings or aims; with opposing effect or result; with aims which hinder or get in each other’s way. Tom’s parents acted at cross purposes in advising him; his father wanted him to become a doctor; but his mother wanted him to become a minister....
17. Перевод идиомы cross a bridge before one comes to it, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: cross a bridge before one comes to it Перевод: думать, волноваться о будущих событиях, проблемах, до того, как они произойдут Пример: We should not worry about that problem now. We can cross that bridge when we come to it. Не следует сейчас волноваться об этой проблеме. Мы позаботимся об этом, когда придет время....
18. Перевод идиомы at cross-purposes, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: at cross-purposes Перевод: делать что-либо противоположными способами, иметь противоположные цели Пример: The two men are always at cross purposes. They cannot agree about anything. У этих двоих всегда противоположные цели. Они не могут ни о чем договориться....
19. Значение идиомы cross street[cross street] {n.} A street that crosses a main street and runs on both sides of it. Elm Street is a cross street on Main Street and there is a traffic light there. Compare: THROUGH STREET....
20. Перевод идиомы double-cross someone, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: double-cross someone Перевод: обмануть кого-либо, надуть кого-либо Пример: The man tried to double-cross his partner but was caught and sent to jail. Этот человек пытался обмануть своего партнера, но был пойман и отправлен в тюрьму....
21. Перевод идиомы cross one’s heart (and hope to die), значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: cross one’s heart (and hope to die) Перевод: клясться, уверять, что что-либо сказанное является правдой; быть готовым перекреститься в качестве правдивости чего-либо Пример: «I promise that I will give you the money next week. Cross my heart and hope to die.» Обещаю, что на следующей неделе дам тебе деньги. Умереть мне на этом месте....
22. Six guys were playing poker when Smith losesSix guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up. Roberts looks around and asks, «Now, who is going to tell the wife?» They draw straws. Rippington, who ... Читать далее...
23. A door-to-door vacuum salesman goesA door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, «Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don’t do wonders ... Читать далее...
24. On a cross-country bus tripOn a cross-country bus trip, Mrs. Davis became extremely queasy due to motion sickness. She make her way to the restroom, only to find it locked. She went back to her seat, laid her head back and tried to fight off the nausea. Unsuccessfully, she rolled her head to the right and threw up on ... Читать далее...
25. Where am I, Cathy?Attorney to witness: «What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?» Witness: «Where am I Cathy?» Attorney: «And why did that upset you?» Witness: «Because my name is Susan.»...
26. Poetic justiceA man was called to witness that a couple had been making love in a park. The witness: They were fucking your honor The judge: Could the witness put it in a more Sheakspearian way: The witness: The park was Dark but caused no fear Until tiny sounds came to my ear There was this ... Читать далее...
27. A young punk gets on the cross-town busA young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He’s got spiked, multicoloured hair that’s green, purple and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he’s wearing worn-out shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewellery and his earring are big, bright feathers. He sits ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы cross one’s path[cross one’s path] {v. phr.} To meet or encounter someone; to come upon someone more by accident than by plan. Surprisingly, I crossed John’s path in Central Park one afternoon....
29. As the end of the day drew nearAs the end of the day drew near, the handsome executive called his newly hired assistant into his office. «Do you know what time we quit around here?» he asked. «Sure!» the girl nervously giggled. «Whenever somebody knocks on the door.»...
30. Значение идиомы double-cross[double-cross] {v.} To promise one thing and deliver another; to deceive. The lawyer double-crossed the inventor by manufacturing the gadget instead of fulfilling his promise to arrange a patent for his client. Compare: SELL DOWN THE RIVER, TWO-TIME....
31. Time to quitAs the end of the day drew near, the handsome executive called his newly hired red-headed assistant into his office. «Do you know what time we quit around here?» he asked. «Sure!» the girl nervously giggled. «Whenever somebody knocks on the door.»...
32. Значение идиомы cross up[cross up] {v.}, {informal} 1. To block or upset; throw into confusion or disorder. We were going to catch him at the gate, but he crossed us up by going in the back way. Father crossed up the surprise party we had planned for him by not getting back in time. 2. To deceive or ... Читать далее...
33. Show him your crossTwo nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield. «Quick, quick!» shouts Sister Mary Agnes, «What should ... Читать далее...
34. Перевод идиомы cross one’s mind, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: cross one’s mind Перевод: подумать о чем-либо; приходить на ум, в голову Пример: It crossed my mind that I would see him in the evening so I did not need to phone him. Я подумал, что увижу его вечером, так что не было необходимости ему звонить....
35. Значение идиомы cross one’s mind[cross one’s mind] or [pass through one’s mind] {v. phr.} To be a sudden or passing thought; be thought of by someone; come to your mind; occur to you. At first Bob was puzzled by Virginia’s waving, but then it crossed his mind that she was trying to tell him something. When Jane did not ... Читать далее...
36. Buying your ticketThree engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. «How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?» asks an accountant. «Watch and you’ll see,» answers an engineer. They all ... Читать далее...
37. Being under oath«You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background,» sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. «If I wasn’t under oath, I’d return the compliment,» replied the witness....
38. There were 2 old-maid sisters, both virginsThere were 2 old-maid sisters… both virgins. It’s Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, «I’m not going to die a virgin… I’m going out and I’m not coming home ’til I’ve been laid!!» Betty says, «Well, make sure you’re home by 10 so I don’t worry about you.» 10 o’clock rolls around ... Читать далее...
39. Grenade hero awarded George CrossL/Cpl Matthew Croucher with his backpack, torn by the grenade A Royal Marine who threw himself on a grenade to save his comrades’ lives is to receive the George Cross. Lance Corporal Matthew Croucher, 24, from Solihull, in the West Midlands triggered a trip wire in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, in February. He immediately dropped to ... Читать далее...
40. The right way to ask a questionA Jewish guy in a London hotel calls the operator and asks, in broken English with a heavy Lithuanian-Yiddish accent, for number 266418. A short time later, someone knocks, and when he opens the door he sees 2 beautiful and sexy girls who asked him: Have you ordered 2 shikses for one night?...