Welfare office

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1. Перевод слова welfare Welfare – социальное пособие; благосостояние, благополучие Перевод слова For the welfare of the people – для блага народа to look after a child’s welfare – заботиться о ребенке welfare recipient – получатель пособия welfare beneficiary – лицо, получающее пожертвования Our only concern is the children’s Welfare. Наша единственная забота – благополучие детей. The family lives […]...
2. A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?” “Ten,” she replied. “What are their names?” he asked. “LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy,” she answered. “They’re all named LeRoy?” he asked “What if you want them […]...
3. A young lady walks into a doctors office A young lady walks into a doctors office. “Doctor I’m suffering from a terrible discharge” The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says “how does that feel?” Young lady, “Oooh doctor that feels lovely….. …but the discharge is from my ear!!”...
4. Welfare applications For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the US to individuals and families with income below a level. The following quotations are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Department in applications for support of receiving payments. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which […]...
5. The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant. “Doctor,” she explained, “the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week.” The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the girl’s breasts. He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on […]...
6. Fashion in the USA and Britain Топик Мода в США и Британии рассказывает о стилях одежды американцев и англичан. Есть много общего, но есть и различия. Поэтому, если Вы находитесь в Англии или в Америке, присмотритесь, как одеваются в определенных случаях жители страны, и тогда Вы всегда будете чувствовать себя комфортно. Many British people don’t think about clothes very much. In […]...
7. Pick a starting salary Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” The candidate said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The HR Person said, “Well, what would you say to a package of […]...
8. Sweet, Sweet Road Rage An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for. The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said, “I was going to park there!” The […]...
9. Reaching the end of a job interview Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” The engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks […]...
10. Employee want ad translations Energetic self-starter: You’ll be working on commission. Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law. Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this. Fast learner: You will get no training from us. Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours. Good organizational skills: […]...
11. Remember a child A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my […]...
12. Перевод слова salary Salary – зарплата, жалование, оклад Перевод слова Monthly salary – ежемесячное жалованье yearly salary – годовой оклад a salary of $10,000 is attached to that office – на этом посту оклад 10 000 долларов She earns a high Salary. Она получает высокую зарплату. He saves half his Salary. Он откладывает половину своей зарплаты. He is […]...
13. It was the age when knighthood was in flower It was the age when knighthood was in flower. A young lady was pounding away at a piece of iron with a sledgehammer. Another young lady saw her and asked, “What are you doing?” The first one answered, “I’m making socks and sweater for some soldier boy!”...
14. Уход за животными/ Animal Welfare На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Animal Welfare Уход за животными We all have favourite animals or pets and we do care about their well-being. Each person who has a pet should take a good care of it. In my opinion, animals should be always well-fed, sheltered and kept in comfort. They deserve it, […]...
15. A guy walks into a post office A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes […]...
16. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. “Heavens,” she cried, “it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.” The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the […]...
17. Health and Welfare – Здоровье и социальное обеспечение Improvements in health care are reflected by the increase in longevity for people in England. Life expectancy increased from 68 years to 71.8 years for males, and from 73.9 years to 77.7 years for females. Heart disease and cancer are the major causes of death among men aged 50 and over and, in recent years, […]...
18. Перевод слова lady Lady – леди, женщина Перевод слова Great lady – знатная дама you’ve dropped your gloves, lady! – женщина, вы обронили перчатки! foxy lady – соблазнительная женщина your good lady – ваша супруга Shall we rejoin the Ladies? Не вернуться ли нам к дамам? She’s swell, a real Lady. Она одевается стильно, как настоящая леди. Don’t […]...
19. Перевод слова counter Counter – конторка, прилавок; счетчик Перевод слова To clear counter – сбрасывать счетчик counter counts up – счетчик работает на сложение check-out counter – контрольно-кассовый пункт A shopman was at the Counter. За прилавком стоял продавец. Goods are sold and money paid over the Counter. Товары продаются и оплачиваются у прилавка. “Good morning,” said the […]...
20. Значение идиомы all hours [all hours] {n. phr.}, {informal} Late or irregular times. The boy’s mother said he must stop coming home for meals at all hours. He stayed up till all hours of the night to finish his school work....
21. A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, “ONE BURGER!” The cook, who’s even bigger, screams, “BUR-GER!” Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and […]...
22. The headmistress at a girls prep school The headmistress at a girls’ prep school in the old South (circa 1959) calls down to the army base and speaks with one of the officers: “We’re having a social here at school and I was wondering if you could send some of your nice young men to attend.” “Why of course,” the Lieutenant answers. […]...
23. A policeman was patrolling near midnight A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He […]...
24. One day a lady went to the doctors office One day a lady went to the doctor’s office and told the doctor that her husband wasn’t interested in her any more he just wouldn’t have sex with her anymore. So the doctor went into the back of the shop and got a bottle of 100 pills. He told her that “if you give your […]...
25. Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state of agitation. “Father!” she cried, “just WAIT until you hear this!” The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, ” Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited?” […]...
26. A little boy and his dad are standing in line A little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, “hey dad, look how fat that lady is!” “Shhhh, quiet son, she’ll hear you.” “But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!” “Shhhhhh, don’t say that son, it’s not nice!” […]...
27. A horny young man went to a brothel A horny young man went to a brothel… The lady at the counter asked him what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available. Madam, “On the first floor, we have the ex-models… they are all slinky and sexy… On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses…they are all buxom and […]...
28. Значение идиомы under the counter [under the counter] {adv. phr.}, {informal} Secretly. That book has been banned, but there is one place you canget it under the counter. The liquor dealer was arrested forselling beer under the counter to teenagers. – Also used like anadjective, with hyphens. During World War II, some stores keptscarce things hidden for under-the-counter-sales to good […]...
29. The office playboy had a date with an attractive young woman The office playboy had a date with an attractive young woman. The next day someone asked him how things had gone. “She uses too many four-letter words for me,” was the reply. “Really?” “Yes,” answered the playboy. “All evening long she was saying “don’t” and “stop” and “quit that.”...
30. At the Post-Office – На почте I like to go to the post-office because post is one of the things that link people living in different cities and coun­tries. There are some counters at the post-office. At one of them you can buy envelopes, stamps, post cards. You can write a letter right there and post it or you can write […]...
31. Picking a Wardrobe I’m one of those people who doesn’t have much of a Fashion sense. I mean, I know that you shouldn’t wear a pink shirt with green pants, but beyond that I’m pretty much a Basket case when it comes to picking my Wardrobe. I have plenty of Short-sleeve and Long-sleeve dress shirts, some have a […]...
32. In a small Southern town there was a nativity scene In a small Southern town there was a nativity scene that indicated great skill and talent in its creation. One small feature bothered me though. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town, I […]...
33. A real bastard A little boy is standing at the side of a river, weeping. His tears are streaming down his cheeks. An elderly lady passes by and feels pity for him. “What is the matter, young boy? Why are you crying?” “It’s mean!”, the boy sniffed, “My daddy drowned all four little kittens we had yesterday!” “That’s […]...
34. A man walks into a jewellers shop A man walks into a jewellers shop, unzips his trousers and places his tool upon the counter. The lady serving says: “I’m sorry Sir, this is a clock shop not a cock shop.” “Well, put two hands and a face on this.” replies the man....
35. Kiss meyeah! “Kiss me,” said the young lady urgently. “Please kiss me.” But the young man turned his head away, saying, “Of course not. How can I? I’m your own brother-in-law. Hell, we shouldn’t even be lying here making love.”...
36. This young lady, a flighty young thing This young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare […]...
37. Negotiating Salary Renaldo: Hello, may I speak to Simone Otto? Simone: This is Simone. May I ask who’s calling? Renaldo: This is Renaldo Garcia at Cinetect. You Interviewed for a position with me last week. Simone: Oh, yes, of course. How are you? Renaldo: I’m doing well. The reason I’m calling is that I was very impressed […]...
38. Passing a parrot A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same […]...
39. APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can […]...
40. Fashion in the USA and Britain – Мода в США и Британии Many British people don’t think about clothes very much. In Britain, as well as in the USA, men in offices usually wear suits and ties and women wear dresses or skirts (not trousers). Doctors, lawyers and business people wear quite formal clothes. And in some hotels and restaurants men have to wear ties and women […]...