Top ten things not to say on your Anniversary

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1. TraditionsA man and a woman got married, and he told her : » since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for ... Читать далее...
2. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversaryA man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, «When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?» The husband replied, «All I wanted to do ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова anniversaryAnniversary — годовщина, юбилей Перевод слова Anniversary present — подарок к юбилею anniversary card — поздравление с юбилеем fifth anniversary — пятилетие She forgot all about their Anniversary. Она совсем забыла о своем юбилее. Her absentminded husband forgot their Anniversary. Ее рассеянный муж забыл об их годовщине....
4. For their 25th wedding anniversaryFor their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his wife on a trip to France. After two weeks touring France, they return to the airport for the trip back to America. While waiting for the plane, the wife turns to her husband and says, «This was the most wonderful gift I could have ... Читать далее...
5. A present for the anniversaryA middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, «So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?» She says, «Bernie, I want a divorce.» He says, «I wasn’t planning on spending that much.»...
6. Some of the myths about marriageTOP15.Some of the myths about marriage… Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and says: «I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.» The husband says: «WHAT??» The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова botherBother — беспокойство, хлопоты Перевод слова He bothers me to death — он надоел мне до смерти don’t bother! — не стоит беспокоиться oh, bother it! — черт возьми! bother head — ломать голову I don’t want to give you any extra Bother. Я не хочу причинять вам какие-либо дополнительные беспокойства. Don’t Bother, please Не ... Читать далее...
8. Топик «International Women’s Day (8 March) / Международный Женский День (8 Марта)»Словарь A present [ˈprez(ə)nt] — подарок To congratulate [kənˈɡrætjʊleɪt] — праздновать To wash up — мыть посуду To celebrate [ˈselɪbreɪt] — праздновать Almost [ˈɔːlməʊst] — почти Lay the table [leɪ ðə ˈteɪb(ə)l] — накрывать на стол The 8th of March is a great official holiday for all women. It began in 1909 by women in ... Читать далее...
9. A man is driving down the road for a long period of timeA man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,»Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы pick-me-up[pick-me-up] {n. phr.} Something you take when you feel tired orweak. John stopped at a drugstore for a pick-me-up after workingthree hours overtime. Mary always carried a bar of chocolate inher pocketbook for a pick-me-up....
11. Значение идиомы silver anniversary[silver anniversary] or [wedding] {n. phr.} The twenty-fifthwedding anniversary of a couple; the twenty-fifth anniversary of abusiness or an association, etc. «The day after tomorrow is Mom andDad’s silver anniversary,» Sue said to her brother. «I hope you have anice present picked out.»...
12. A recently divorced woman is walking along the beachA recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly screwed she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp washing up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!! The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation, the ... Читать далее...
13. A degree at Life UniversityA new two year degree is being offered at LIFE UNIVERSITY that many of you should be interested in: BECOMING A REAL MAN. That’s right, in just six quarters you, too, can be a real man, as well as earn an AA degree (AA Real Men). Please take a moment to look over the program ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова celebrateCelebrate — праздновать Перевод слова To celebrate formally — официально отпраздновать to celebrate privately — отпраздновать в узком кругу близких to celebrate solemnly — торжественно отпраздновать Let’s Celebrate, and damn the expense! Давайте кутнем! Денег не жалко! How do you usually Celebrate New Year? Как вы обычно празднуете Новый Год? They gathered together to Celebrate. ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод слова dollarDollar — доллар Перевод слова Thousand dollar bill — купюра в тысячу долларов to break a five-dollar banknote — разменять пятидолларовую банкноту half dollar — пол-доллара It cost three Dollars. Это стоит три доллара. I have a Dollar in coins. У меня есть доллар в монетах. I don’t have even a Dollar! У меня нет ... Читать далее...
16. There were two people having sex in a carThere were two people having sex in a car. They finished up and the guy thew the comdom out the window. His girlfriend got mad at him she wanted to go again. So he got out of the car and went to find the condom. He found that a little boy had found it and ... Читать далее...
17. Definition of Outdoor BarbecuingDefinition of Outdoor Barbecuing ——————————— It’s the only type of cooking a «real» man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion. (1) The woman goes to the store. (2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat ... Читать далее...
18. A young woman stops into her local pharmacy to pick a supplyA young woman stops into her local pharmacy to pick a supply of tampons for herself. She goes to the aisle where they are located and sees they are priced at five boxes for one dollar. Thinking this is a misprint; she finds a clerk and asks if this can possibly be the correct price. ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы pick at[pick at] {v.} 1. To reach or grasp for repeatedly. The babykept picking at the coverlet. 2. To eat without appetite; choose asmall piece every little while to eat. He picked at his food. 3.To annoy or bother continually; find fault with. They showed theirdispleasure by continually picking at her. Syn.: PICK ON....
20. A man says to his wifeA man says to his wife, «Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing.» Wife says, «I dont want to go.» Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se. Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says, «It tastes like sh*t. Man says, ... Читать далее...
21. Топик «День матери в Англии» (Mother’s Day in England)Словарь Possible [ˈpɒsɪb(ə)l] — возможный; To thank [θæŋk] — благодарить; Everywhere [ˈevrɪ veri] — везде, повсюду; Try to be — стараться. To honor [ˈɒnə(r)] — чествовать; Almost [ˈɔːlməʊst] — почти; America and England celebrate an wonderful holiday. It is Mother`s Day. There is almost the same holiday on the 8th March in Russia. Mother`s Day ... Читать далее...
22. The couple was dining out when the wife noticedThe couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. «Elliot,» she said, pointing «do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?» The husband looked over and nodded. «Well,» the woman continued, «he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!» The husband returned ... Читать далее...
23. Finding the Perfect GiftFae: Help! I still need to buy a Gift for my mother and I can’t seem to think of the perfect Present, something that’ll really Knock her socks off. Pablo: Why don’t you just get her a Gift certificate or a Gift card? That way, she can Pick out her own gift. Fae: Oh, she ... Читать далее...
24. Finding the Perfect GiftFae: Help! I still need to buy a Gift for my mother and I can’t seem to think of the perfect Present, something that’ll really Knock her socks off. Pablo: Why don’t you just get her a Gift certificate or a Gift card? That way, she can Pick out her own gift. Fae: Oh, she ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы worth[worth] See: BIRD IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH, FOR ALL ONEIS WORTH, GAME IS NOT WORTH THE CANDLE, NOT WORTH A TINKER’S DAMN, WORTH A CENT....
26. Rabbi’s anniversary presentA Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid. When he walks into his hotel room, there’s a beautiful girl, nude, lying on the bed. She says, «Hi, Rabbi, I’m a little something extra that the president of the ... Читать далее...
27. Amusing Jokes about the IrishMrs. Ryan, a mean looking woman, claimed her husband was not thoughtful. In this she was wrong; her husband thought about her too much. One morning on his way to work, he thought about her so much that he got off the subway at 34th Street and went to the Greyhound Terminal and took a ... Читать далее...
28. A wife went in to see a therapist and saidA wife went in to see a therapist and said, «I’ve got a big problem doctor» Every time we’re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell.» «MY dear,» the shrink said, «that’s completely natural. I don’t see what problem is?» «The problem is,» she complained, «It wakes me up.»...
29. Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limoTwo newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, «Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go.» «Good idea,» she says. «While you’re in there, pick me up some Dramamine.» The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore ... Читать далее...
30. Gift tombstonesA husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary. The husband decides to give his wife a gift, a tombstone, with the inscription: «Here lies my wife…..cold as ever» Later the furious wife bought a return present, a tombstone with the inscription: «Here lies my husband…..stiff at last»...
31. Thank you for the emailsTHANK YOU Thank you to all my friends who sent me such important emails this year! It’s so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform! Because of all of you I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out from you that it’s good for removing toilet stains and rusting the arse out ... Читать далее...
32. Small WorldTwo men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn’t bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man ... Читать далее...
33. On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-BobOn the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight. When they were finished, Billy-Bob decided he ... Читать далее...
34. Room ServiceThis is a telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and roomservice at a hotel in Asia. It was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review: Room Service: «Morny. Ruin sorbees.» Guest : «Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.» RS : «Rye. Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??» Guest: «Uh..yes..I’d like some bacon and ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод слова husbandHusband — муж Перевод слова Ex-husband, former husband — бывший муж henpecked husband — подкаблучник to leave one’s husband — оставить мужа My Husband doesn’t cook Мой муж не готовит. She lied to her Husband. Она солгала мужу. She cheats on her Husband. Она изменяет своему мужу....
36. Перевод слова worthWorth — значение, ценность, стоимость Перевод слова To be of no worth — не иметь никакой ценности, быть никуда не годным a man of worth — достойный человек not worth a stiver — гроша не стоит This play is Worth seeing. Эту пьесу стоит посмотреть. He is Worth over a million. Его состояние больше миллиона. ... Читать далее...
37. Foreign Currency Exchange RatesSydney: Where should we go on our Honeymoon? I thought Rome would be nice. Isaac: Let me check. No, that wouldn’t be a good idea. Sydney: Okay, how about Tokyo? I’ve always wanted to visit Japan. Isaac: No, I’m afraid not. Sydney: How are you making these Determinations? Isaac: I’m checking to see if the ... Читать далее...
38. It’s in the BibleA man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, «You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.» The husband said, » You are in charge of cooking around here and ... Читать далее...
39. Breakfast was my ideaIt was George the Mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод слова pickPick — ледоруб, кирка; выбирать, собирать Перевод слова To pick a lock — открывать замок отмычкой pick the best — выбирайте самое лучшее to pick grapes — собирать виноград Pick out the dress that you like best. Выбери платье, которое больше всего тебе нравится. Mummy, can you Pick me up? Мамочка, ты можешь меня забрать? ... Читать далее...