Tombstone Epitaph In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery

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1. Tombstone Epitaph VI A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery: Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes who died January 3, 1803. His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted....
2. Tombstone Epitaph X The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip: Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with “R. E. Danforth’s Non-Explosive Burning Fluid”...
3. Final wish In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, he went to the town’s undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) […]...
4. Gift tombstones A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary. The husband decides to give his wife a gift, a tombstone, with the inscription: “Here lies my wife…..cold as ever” Later the furious wife bought a return present, a tombstone with the inscription: “Here lies my husband…..stiff at last”...
5. A drunk staggered into a cemetery and A drunk staggered into a cemetery and fell into a freshly dug grave. Pretty soon a second drunk staggered by. “Get me out of here”, said the one in the grave, “I’m cold”. The other one looked over the edge and said, “No wonder you’re cold, you poor guy. You don’t have any dirt on […]...
6. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]...
7. Перевод слова England England – Англия Перевод слова In the heart of England – в сердце Англии my home is England – моя родина – Англия to live in England – жить в Англии Scotland lies north of England. Шотландия лежит к северу от Англии. My parents remained in England. Мои родители остались в Англии. England and Scotland […]...
8. Пословица / поговорка better the devil you know than the devil you don’t / better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: better the devil you know than the devil you don’t / better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know Перевод: лучше известное зло, чем неизвестное Эквивалент в русском языке: из двух зол выбирай меньшее Пример: My friend wanted to change banks but he felt that it was better the […]...
9. Devil herself A fellow’s wife was very worried about her husband’s heavy drinking and one night she decided to give him a fright. She draped herself in a white sheet and went down to the local cemetery, knowing that her husband was in the habit of taking a shortcut through it on his way home from the […]...
10. Значение идиомы devil [devil] See: BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA, FULL OF THE OLD NICK or FULL OF THE DEVIL, GIVE THE DEVIL HIS DUE, GO TO THE DEVIL, PLAY THE DEVIL WITH, RAISE THE DEVIL, SPEAK OF THE DEVIL AND HE APPEARS....
11. An 18th-century vagabond in England An 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: “George and the Dragon.” He knocked. The Innkeeper’s wife stuck her head out a window. “Could ye spare some victuals?” The woman glanced at his shabby, dirty clothes. “No!” she shouted. “Could I have a pint of ale?” […]...
12. My trip to England Imagine waking up one day in a country that you`ve never been to and know no one there. It is an incredible experience, and something that people will remember forever. Before visiting the country we have some stereotypes about the life there, which are broken after the trip. And England isn`t an exception. People think […]...
13. England Jokes Q: What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
14. A lawyer named Strange died A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.” The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: […]...
15. What Not to Name Your Dog Everybody has a dog called Rover or Spot. I call my dog “Sex”. When I went to city hall to buy a licence I told the clerk I wanted a licence for Sex. He said “I’d like one too.” But then I said “This is a dog.” He said he didn’t care what she looked […]...
16. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
17. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
18. Some horse-play The newlywed couple were checking into the hotel. The new groom approached the desk clerk. He said he wanted the best for they were on their honeymoon. The clerk asked the man if he wanted the bridal. “No,” he said, “I don’t believe I’ll need it. I’ll just grab onto her ears and hold on […]...
19. England England is the largest and the richest part of GB. Its’ capital is London. The biggest industrial cities are London, Liverpool, Birmingham, Manchester, and other interesting cities as York, Chester, Oxford, and Cambridge. Stonehenge is one of the most popular prehistoric places in England. It is situate in the south-west of England. It is a […]...
20. England (2) The United Kingdom is very small compared with many other countries in the world. However there are only nine other countries with more people, and London is the world’s seventh biggest city. When you travel about the country you can see how the scenery changes right in front of your eyes. Highlands turn into lowlands; […]...
21. Get me something cheap After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50. “That’s a bit much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. “Thats […]...
22. Перевод слова devil Devil – дьявол, черт Перевод слова Handsome devil – красавчик clever devil – хитрый черт the devil of a job – адская работа Be a Devil! Давай, рискни!, Давай, смелей! (разг.) The Devil will fetch you! Дьявол придет за вами! He has a Devil of a temper. У него чертовски вспыльчивый характер. Интересные факты “Дьявол […]...
23. Schools in England English educational system is quite different from what we have in Russia. It is class-divided. There some state schools and some private ones. State schools are infant, junior or secondary. British boys and girls begin to go to school at the age of 5. They draw pictures, sing songs, listen to the stories and tales. […]...
24. Arranging Airport Transfer My wife and I bought a Vacation package and we thought that it included everything. We should have Double-checked that it included Airport transfer to our hotel as well. Hindsight is 20/20, they say. My wife wanted to take a Taxi, but I Nixed that idea. It would Cost an arm and a leg. I […]...
25. French guy in England French guy went for a job interview In England. He was told that he must compose a sentence in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow. His answer was: “I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone “green green”, I “pink” up the phone and I say “Yellow” Юмор в том, […]...
26. Ordering Food Delivery Order clerk: Hello, Torino’s Restaurant. Nancy: Hello, I’d like To place a Delivery order. Order clerk: Can I have your address and the Major cross streets, please? Nancy: It’s 1212 Main Street, and the nearest cross streets are Speedway and Highland. Order clerk: Okay, it looks like you’re in our Delivery area. What would you […]...
27. A Duck walks into a bar A Duck walks into a bar. Duck: You got any bread? Barman: No, sorry, we don’t have any bread [After a few minutes] Duck: You got any bread? Barman: Look, we don’t have any bread [In a little while] Duck: You got any bread? Barman: We don’t have any F*****g bread! [Some time later] Duck: […]...
28. Irish Laughs Casey married a rich widow, but they didn’t get along. One day she said to him, “If it wasn’t for my money, that new television wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for my money, that grand piano wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for my money, this house wouldn’t be here.” Casey mumbled, “If it […]...
29. Топик “День матери в Англии” (Mother’s Day in England) Словарь Possible [ˈpɒsɪb(ə)l] – возможный; To thank [θæŋk] – благодарить; Everywhere [ˈevrɪ veri] – везде, повсюду; Try to be – стараться. To honor [ˈɒnə(r)] – чествовать; Almost [ˈɔːlməʊst] – почти; America and England celebrate an wonderful holiday. It is Mother`s Day. There is almost the same holiday on the 8th March in Russia. Mother`s Day […]...
30. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “I don’t quite follow you” Wallace Уоллис Sunshine Travel, Wallace speaking. How may I help you? Саншайн Тревел, с вами говорит Уоллис. Чем могу вам помочь? Greta Грета I’d like to book a ticket to Thailand for two people. Я бы хотела заказать два билета до Таиланда. Wallace Уоллис Can I have the dates for your departure and return? Назовите […]...
31. Значение идиомы go to the devil [go to the devil] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To go away, mind yourown business. – Used as a command; considered rude. George told Bobto go to the devil. “Go to the devil!” said Jack, when his sistertried to tell him what to do. 2. To become bad or ruined; becomeuseless. The boy got mixed up […]...
32. Значение идиомы devil to pay [devil to pay] {n. phr.} Great trouble. – Used after “the”. There’ll be the devil to pay when the teacher finds out who broke the window. When Jim wrecked his father’s car, there was the devil to pay....
33. Перевод слова bread Bread – хлеб Перевод слова Corn bread – хлеб из кукурузы wheat bread – хлеб из пшеничной муки sliced bread – нарезной хлеб She bakes Bread every day. Она печет хлеб каждый день. This Bread cuts easily Этот хлеб легко режется. I sliced the Bread thick. Я нарезал хлеб толстыми ломтями....
34. Значение идиомы lord it over [lord it over] {v. phr.} To act as the superior and master of;dominate; be bossy over; control. John learned early to lord itover other children. The office manager lorded it over the clerksand typists....
35. Перевод слова clerk Clerk – клерк, администратор Перевод слова Bank clerk – банковский служащий correspondence clerk – корреспондент telegraph clerk – телеграфист He Clerks in a supermarket. Он работает продавцом в супермаркете. The Clerk recorded their names in the register. Клерк записал их имена в реестр. The Clerk was well bounced for his carelessness. За халатность клерку сурово […]...
36. A technical bastard A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn’t, sent them off to get one. They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, […]...
37. England – Англия England is the largest and the richest country of Great Britain. The capital of England is London but there are other large industrial cities, such as Birmingham, Liverpool, Manchester and other famous and interesting cities such as York, Chester, Oxford and Cambridge. Stonehenge is one of the most famous prehistoric places in the world. This […]...
38. Значение идиомы devil of it [devil of it] or [heck of it] {n. phr.} 1. The worst or most unlucky thing about a trouble or accident; the part that is most regrettable. Andy lost his notebook, and the devil of it was that the notebook contained all his homework for the coming week. When I had a flat tire, the […]...
39. The Weather in England – Погода в Англии (2) The weather in England is very changeable. A fine morning can change into a wet afternoon and evening. And a nasty morning can change into a fine afternoon. That is why it is natural for the English to use the comparison “as changeable as the weather” of a person who often changes his mood or […]...
40. The Weather in England – Погода в Англии (1) The English say “Other countries have a climate, in England we have weather*. It happens because the weather changes more often than in other countries. British winters are mild and springs are cool because of the winds that blow from the Atlantic Ocean. They blow 2 days out of every 3. In spring sunshine and […]...