There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for

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1. Перевод сленгового выражения hooker, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: hooker Сленговое выражение: hooker груб. Перевод: проститутка Пример: He spent the night with a hooker in Las Vegas. В Лас-Вегасе он провел ночь с проституткой....
2. How Chuko Liang Used A Lute To Single-Handedly Defeat An Army Of 150,000 During China’s Three Kingdoms period there was a brilliant general and master strategist of Shu Han named Chuko “Sleeping Dragon” Liang. During the War of the Three Kingdoms, he had sent a majority of his soldiers many miles away before he was alerted that an opposing army of 150,000 was headed towards the small town […]...
3. The Army Airborne major was used to harassment The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. “Obviously the Air Force knows there’s no such thing as a ‘perfectly good aircraft,'” the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, “because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in […]...
4. Перевод слова army Army – армия Перевод слова Army brass – командующий армией to organize an army – создать армию to raise an army – собрать армию I was an Army brat. Я была армия, брат. The Army was disranked. Армия была дезорганизована. The Army surged forward Армия рванулась вперед. Интересные факты In the Army Now – семнадцатый […]...
5. This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker says, “Say, wanna have a good time? We do things in a big way down here in Texas.” “Sure,” he says and they were off to the nearest motel. She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, “Is […]...
6. An aging hooker volunteered to give the novice An aging hooker volunteered to give the novice a few tips on the art of fellatio. Satisfied that she had perfected the basics, the old pro asked the beginner if she had any questions. “Well yeah. I was wondering how long dicks should be sucked.” “The same as the short ones, honey.”...
7. Перевод слова concept Concept – идея, концепция Перевод слова Concept classification – смысловая сортировка gene network concept – концепция генной сети general concept – обобщенное понятие She is familiar with basic Concepts of psychology. Она знакома с базовыми принципами психологии. It is very difficult to define the Concept of beauty. Очень сложно определить понятие красоты. The Concept is […]...
8. A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki to buy furs. He arranges for a hooker to be sent to his room. When they’re done, he said, “I’m afraid my Finnish isn’t too good.” The hooker replied, “Your foreplay ain’t all that hot either.”...
9. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands There’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on […]...
10. The new hooker had just finished her first trick The new hooker had just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said, “Well, he was a big, muscular and handsome marine.” “Well? What did he want to do?” they all asked. She said, “I told him that a […]...
11. A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam when suddenly he notices a fine looking hooker looking at him. He stops, bangs on the window and says,”So, what does this cost??!!”. And the hooker replies,”25 dollars!!”. And the Pollock said,”Hmm, that’s not a lot of money for insulated windows!!”....
12. A man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel room A man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel room while on a business trip. Not wishing to be alone, he calls an “escort” service for some company. Soon, a strikingly beautiful hooker arrives. Without preamble the hooker says, “I want to tell you right up front, my minimum fee is $500, and that’s for […]...
13. Перевод слова familiar Familiar – близкий, привычный, хорошо знакомый Перевод слова Familiar friends – близкие друзья to make oneself familiar with a language – выучить какой-л. язык amid familiar surroundings – в привычной обстановке He looked vaguely Familiar to her. Он казался ей смутно знакомым. The signs of drug addiction are Familiar to most doctors. Признаки наркомании знакомы […]...
14. Army needs new recruits Top Ways The Army Is Trying To Boost Recruiting 8. Military transport flights now earn you Delta frequent flier miles 7. Where else can you shoot guns and get awakened in the middle of the night by loud explosions besides New York, Chicago and Detroit? 6. Get rid of all those creepy “Richard Simmons Wants […]...
15. Schick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City Schick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City, runs into a hooker, and he says, “How much?” She says, “Twenty bucks.” He says, “All right.” They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her. The next night, he runs into the same hooker, they go under the boardwalk, only this time while he’s […]...
16. A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India. One man he passed sported an enormous erection. “Sergeant-Major!” the colonel shouted.”Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave.” “Yessir,” the Sgt. Major replied. A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man. “Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate […]...
17. Перевод слова circumstance Circumstance – обстоятельство, случай Перевод слова Circumstances alter cases – все зависит от обстоятельств exceptional circumstance – необычные обстоятельства attenuating circumstance – смягчающее обстоятельство He was a victim of Circumstances. Он был жертвой обстоятельств. The Circumstances suggest murder. Обстоятельства позволяют предположить, что это было убийство. The Circumstances of his death are suspicious. Обстоятельства его смерти […]...
18. A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, “Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!” The private reports as ordered, “Yes sir?” The general says, “See that man over there? Kill him!” Without […]...
19. During an Army war game During an Army war game, a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C. O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck. “Sorry sir,” said one of the loafers, “but we’ve been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’t contribute in any way.” The C. […]...
20. How Army policy began This is Army policy all begins… Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes […]...
21. An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, “But you just got a new pair last month!” “Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident,” stammered the private. “Accident, what kind of an accident?” […]...
22. Значение идиомы under the circumstances [under the circumstances] also [in the circumstances] {adv. phr.}In the existing situation; in the present condition; as things are. In the circumstances, Father couldn’t risk giving up his job. Under the circumstances, the stagecoach passengers had to give therobbers their money....
23. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. “So, did you […]...
24. This fellow comes to confession This fellow comes to confession. “Father, he said, forgive me for I have sinned.” The priest asked, “What did you do, my son?” “I lusted,” the fellow replied. “Tell me about it,” the priest said. The fellow then related his story. “Father, I am a deliveryman for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in […]...
25. Bill Clinton’s haircut Before his infamous haircut on the tarmac, Clinton asked his stylist Christophe, “How long will this take, how much will it cost, and how good will this look?” Christophe replied just ten minutes, cost $20, and look marvelous. An hour and fifteen minutes later, Clinton looked into the mirror in horror and Christophe handed him […]...
26. Перевод слова victim Victim – жертва, потерпевший Перевод слова The victim of malice – жертва недоброжелательства the victim of his own folly – жертва собственной глупости earthquake victim – жертва землетрясения He was the Victim of an error. Он был жертвой ошибки. He was the Victim of a freak accident. Он стал жертвой странного происшествия. The Victim was […]...
27. Перевод слова cost Cost – цена, стоимость Перевод слова At cost value – по себестоимости saving in cost – экономия затрат to cost smb. dear – дорого обходиться кому-л. How much does it Cost per kilo? Сколько стоит килограмм? It Cost three dollars. Это стоит три доллара. This mistake Cost him his job. Эта ошибка стоила ему работы....
28. The hit-and-run The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a policeman ran up to help. “My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!” the shaken man told the cop. “The car hit you from behind,” the officer said. “How could you tell it was your mother-in-law?” “I recognized the laugh!” he replied....
29. A man was leaving church one day A man was leaving church one day. The Pastor was standing at the door (as he always is) to shake hands with members of the congregation. He grasped the man by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” The man replied, “I’m […]...
30. By definition A young Army 1st Lt. is in the bathroom (head) releaving himself at the urinal, when a young boy walks in. The boy, seeing the young Lt.’s green uniform asks him if he was in the Army. The Lt. smiles and say’s, “Why yes I am…you wanna wear my hat?” The boy nods and the […]...
31. An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing some tourists how to top up a camel with water. “That way,” he said, “You get an extra day out of them between drinks.” As the camel bent down to drink, the bloke picked up two bricks and bashed them over the camel’s balls. The camel […]...
32. Earn it hiking A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new 10 speed bike. “Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300.” “Easy, Dad,” the boy replied. “I earned it hiking.” “Come on,” the father said. “Tell me the truth.” “That is […]...
33. Gas-tank joke This practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got. So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and […]...
34. A few words of wisdom “I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.” – Ed Bluestone “Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron.” – George Carlin “You have to stay in shape. My […]...
35. Army fitness report British Military Officer Fitness Reports The British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s “206’s”…. – His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. – I would not breed from this Officer. […]...
36. A fortunate twist of fate Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. “How do you account for this?” he asked the brothers. “It’s hereditary, sir,” the older one replied. “I see,” said the doctor, writing in his file. “Your […]...
37. A Scottish private walks into the pharmacy A Scottish private walks into the pharmacy near his bases, pulls a beat-up, mutilated condom out of his pocket, and asks the pharmacist how much it would cost to repair the condom. The pharmacist replied that including replacing the band and spot welding the holes, it would cost 26 pence, but that for 29 pence, […]...
38. Chinese Fire Drill One joke that we did in residence was the Chinese Fire Drill, I don’t quite know why it is called that. Anyway.. The victim is on the pot in the dorm washroom. Everyone grabs a bucket (we used the waste baskets from our rooms) and fills the buckets with water. Take a paper bag and […]...
39. Перевод слова extra Extra – добавочный, дополнительный Перевод слова Extra amount – излишек room service is extra – за подачу еды и напитков в номера взимается дополнительная плата extra work – дополнительная работа Technical service will be charged Extra. Техническое обслуживание будет оплачиваться дополнительно. They need to offer something Extra to attract customers. Им нужно предложить что-то особенное, […]...
40. Paying bills Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?” “Only one kiss per yard, ” replied the smirking male clerk. “That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.” With expectation and anticipation written all over his […]...